Resuming Work

It's a good thing I had, with very good foresight, worked on the kids' daily schedule for the next few weeks ahead of time. Had I not, I would have been a total wreck yesterday. Alhamdulillah the kids even sat at their table waiting for me to shower and eat breakfast. I was the one who was tardy.

S seemed to have improved considerably in doing her work in good time and so far we have finished school with good spirits. Yesterday we finished quite early. Having history seemed to be easier than Science. N and H were wide eyed after learning about nomads. N was still mulling over the word itself and asked me,

"Ummi, why do they call them nomads?"

"Are they not gonna get mad or something?"

"They ain't gonna get no mad?"

She extended her history report by writing more about the nomads. So when it came to Science today, her mind was probably still flitting about somewhere, that I had to repeat the water cycle to her with increasing building frustration.

Finally I had S go over it with her because I couldn't bring myself to reiterate it anymore. Of course, talking about a hurdle after it has been jumped over is way easier than when actually facing the hurdle.

I tried the hands on. I tried the reading. I tried the animation on the computer. I did the diagram on the whiteboard. After almost running out of ideas, I tried zooming in on the heart of the matter. I used character. Thinking it would definitely grab her undivided attention, I created a character of a drop of water and brought her along its journey through the water cycle. I didn't know if I did get through but b the end of the day, we were done with the lesson. ALHAMDULILLAH!

T'was no easy feat. It made me feel like throwing in the towel but last weekend's conversation with a fellow homeschooler drilled in me a new sense of motivation.

I had attended another of Al-Maghrib's classes. This time, a sister had brought in her husband and two young children in the class with her. I had been very skeptical of the whole thing working as I can see my own children running amok in a campus building while I sit in a class practically the whole day. Contrary to my expectation, her children survived through the day and in fact through the whole weekend.

I went home blabbing to F how it is indeed possible to drag your children along while attending a full weekend seminar.

"Must be the barakah," he said, and I couldn't help but nod my head.

Made me think of the angels hovering above us and it brings a sense of awe. I talked to the sister and found out that she is also doing OHVA with her girls. On top of that, she is also taking courses with American Open University. I asked her,

"Do you have free time?" I was mulling in my head over how she would study and homeschool her children at the same time.

"No, but I like it like this. You know, if you have free time, even just a little bit, Syaitan will come in and make you waste that time. So I prefer it like this. Busy, busy busy," gesturing with her hands, depicting the occupied time that is constantly being maximized and put to good use.

I had to agree whole heartedly. It was the first time such a perception or view was presented to me and I have to say, it's very refreshing, like a sudden splash of rainbow on a cloudy day. Here I was, struggling trying to set aside some slices of free time for myself amidst the chaos in my life, and there was this sister, who is trying hard to busy herself so she wouldn't have free time.

I can see her reasoning being sound and in fact, very reasonable. Makes me reflect on how I waste those slivers of free time that in the end turned out to be 'just a waste of time'. I also remember the feeling of frustration and utter regret after having thrown away those precious minutes for something frivolous or insignificant.

We also talked about her decision to homeschool and after all my observatios and chat with various mothers, I can safely say, to my knowledge, that Islamic schools are not necessarily that different from public schools. Funny how I was contemplating on throwing in the towel and going to grad school myself just the past few weeks.

The thing for me is behavior and attitude and turned out, it was the same for her too. You get this American kid attitude,

"Whatever!" accompanied by an extravagant roll of the eyes and cock of the head.

There are a lot more reasons pushing me to homeschool and it's also surprising how much motivation i receive from even the younger sisters. Sisters who are in college, when i tell them of my homeschooling would strongly nod their heads and agree that it's the best thing. These are girls who have gone to public schools in their child hood.

"Public schools are just filthy," one sister said.

I also found out two sisters who were homeschooled when they turned of age. I can see the wisdom and it brings to mind the option of sending the children to school when they are still young and only pulling them out when they reach puberty. A sister asked me exactly this question while we were walking to Chipotle for lunch on Sunday.

Before I could even answer her, her friend next to her replied rather adamantly,

"Now, it's when they are small that you should worry,"

and I added,

"It's the foundation. They need to have a strong foundation. So the early years are rather important."

I didn;t have to explain more as her friend got her in a rather occupied conversation over how wise it actually is to keep the children home when they are young.

For me, it truly is the foundation I'm concerned about. I have sat and long thought about it, weighed the decision and contemplated over the wisdom of carrying it out. After much thought, I decided that it really is important for me to give them a solid foundation. At school, they absorb their teachers' values and with it, the demeanor of typical American kids, which I do not like.

When they are at that impressinable age, it's easier to drill in values and I want it be ours. Of course, you can still instill values while sending your children to public school, but every family has different dynamics and for us, I just feel it imperative that we hold them close while they're still impressionable.

As for releasing them later on, we have already heard remarks and comments about how girls should be kept at home, due to the rampant violence and sexual activities going on in public schools nowadays. S's pre school teacher even said to me, when I told her I wanted to take S out of school that year,

"When I have my own child, I'm going to homeschool too. I have a teacher's certificate and I'm thinking of homeschooling other people's children too."

"Oh...how come?" I was rather taken aback at her revelation.

"Oh, well, the school is not a very safe place. Just last week a girl was raped in school by a janitor."

I nodded, never even thinking that people would use security as a reason to withhold their child from public schools. Of course it's rather obvious, but protection of the physical i would not worry so much about as compared to the protection of the spiritual.

Yet, it also brings to mind how many Christians in this country choose to homeschool, for various reasons, the most obviouc being religious reason. Makes me wince at home Muslims are not that enthusiastic about it. Either they don't mind or they don't have enough confidence that they can do it, especially for foreigners like me.

I had that thought years ago, but it was wiped out the instant I set my mind on it. However, life is not without its trials. Even to this day, I dream of having the house to myself while my children laboriously pore over their books at school. It really requires strong resilience on my part to keep on doing what I'm doing. At times I find myself lumbering in the dark, almost gagging on the floor and breathing out my last breath, but then all praise to Allah, there would come that helping hand stretched out just a tad bit farther than I would prefer, reaching out to pull me back into the folds of stark reality. The reality that i would be drowned in guilt were I to abandon this job for something else without due need. Because as of now, I know I can do it and if I don't try my best, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life, because as it is, it is my main priority. It is my sole true job: to raise the children and take care of the family. The woes of life....insyaallah will bring about the joys of life in the end.