Gasping For Air

School started Aug 27, Monday. I plunged into it, Baby Z in tow.

Day 1 - we survived. By afternoon I was completely drained and speechless (literally). However, I'm still sane and functioning. Alhamdulillah.

Day 2 - we survived. By afternoon I was drained and speechless and experiencing the mild symptoms of burnout. Alhamdulillah, I regained my normalcy by night time when hubby brought Baby Z to the basketball court and I had some alone time to recuperate in.

On Day 1 & 2, the kids were ready well before I was. They were that excited to start school! Everything went as it did last year, that is, until Baby Z started crying. Instead of kicking and eating from the inside, he kicked, gurgled, cooed and nursed outside. At times, my right hand was not available to mark the kids' worksheets. At times, three kids were surrounding me waiting for my attention to answer some of their questions.

I have to say though, that looking at Baby Z does help me think of the bigger picture. Sometimes he would be sucking vigorously, and at other times he would pause to listen to the lessons being taught to his three siblings by me. Then sometimes he would flash one of his bright exuberant smiles. Really makes my day.

I started Glenn Doman reading cards with him. Everytime I do it, he smiles and coos. That is what I call rewarding alhamdulillah.

Today is Day 3. Sometimes, especially yesterday, I feel on the verge of tears as I realized that my milk was decreasing. Most times I miss breakfast and especially when school is on, in rushing to make sure all kids do the lessons of the day, I do miss breakfasts and a lot of other stuff too. I cooked after fajr and then dashed upstairs to teach them, and only came back down again for lunch.

It gets really challenging when kids play around and don't do their work, as I have to shout at them from either downstairs while nursing Baby Z or from my room, and sometimes when Z is sleepinng and they're playing around, I have to try and put Z down to sleep the best I can and close the door quietly before going after those noise makers. There is only one of me and four of them. I can't be in two places at once.

This is hard, but I'm still hopeful. May Allah make it easy. Ameen.

I have to admit, I'm so ready to throw in the towel today though.

N's Quotable Quotes

"Z's the best thing that ever happened to me." (N muttered to herself as she went up the stairs)

"Ok, so maybe you're a little fat." (N said to me when insisted on her opinion)

"You're disgustingly nice." (N said to Auntie S while hugging Auntie S)

"You're chocolate and I'm caramel-colored." (N said to H)

Cookie Biscotti

The cookie baking craze afflicted us a few weeks ago. My baking mood has struck again, yet I find it quite difficult to bake while also tending to a nursing baby. So, I delegated all tasks to S, who alhamdulillah turned out to be quite adept at.

At first I wanted to bake with the kids, but it ended up as 'S baking by herself'. To top it off, it wasn't a simple cookie, but a biscotti, which is a tad more complex than a simple cookie. Nevertheless, when I told them we would be trying out cookie recipes from Land O Lakes, they chose the Vanilla and Chocolate Biscotti.

As I nursed Baby Z, S set about to measure out the ingredients. I thought I was going to join her but Baby Z wouldn't let me. She had trouble making the dough into a log. I had to help her with that at first, and her division of the chocolate and vanilla batter was not even, but it turned out very pretty anyway alhamdulilllah.

When she was done, N came, and brought her Cookie, and together they choreographed the photoshoot. The cat is appropriately named Cookie. Trust these kids to position Cookie in these poses!

Mommy Strike

Yesterday I was on the verge of tears, for the second time, because the kids are driving me up the wall.

Too sick and tired to push it, I withdrew into myself and resolved to leave them alone and not talk to them for as long as I could. They can do whatever they want, leave the clothes on the floor, not brush their teeth, starve themselves...whatever!

I prayed by myself and retired early. They were still playing, and I think S accidentally openedmy door and saw me praying. I thought I heard the clinking of utensils downstairs. If so, one of them might have thought it a good idea to do that particular chore because Ummi was definitely acting weird.

This morning, as soon as I got out of the room, S went to the chore chart. My mouth was clamped shut - I wasn't saying anything to any of them today.

I don't know if they did their chores or not and I don't really care. They can do whatever they want for all I care!

None of them had taken a shower and they only went downstairs to eat breakfast after I did. Usually I would have been shooing them for breakfast, but today, I'm on a Mommy Strike.

One by one, they took a shower, no yelling from me this time. Except for N. She didn't shower until it was almost time for Zuhr. I fought the urge to tell her to.

I ate lunch by myself, got the food out, put them right back in. I don't know if they ate. I know H did, because he called his father asking when he would come home to pick him up for Jum'ah. At least the boy have a sense of time. Good for him! He ate and I went back upstairs.

Afternoon, I did some cake decorating and the Mommy Strike was over. By Asr, the kids were decorating their own cake and I was speaking to them again. Me and my big mouth!

I thought of a solution though: all the dirty clothes that are left on the floor will be picked up by me, stashed, unwashed, piled until the owner realizes that she doesn't (yes, it's a she, people. By now I know who has the most tendency to do this!) have enough clean clothes. Then, she can either pick a shirt or skirt from the dirty stash or wash them herself. Then maybe next time, she'll think twice about leaving dirty clothes lying everywhere. I might even toss them in the backyard if the mood strikes me.

These kids also have trouble organizing. I'm thinking that for every stationary they lose, they can rent one from me - a dime per item. I will give them a jar of dimes to begin with, tell them to count how much money is in there, get them all excited and then BAM!

'Rent for a Dime' will be open during the school hours.

Maybe I should also extend that to a math lesson - keep track of the dimes they keep using and losing for not being more organized.

Now, I will have to go declutter their drawers without them knowing. I'm so ready for school. Inshaallah. (Can't believe I just wrote that!)