"We're going to Wisconsin," was the mantra last week. We packed, picked up the rental car, loaded it and set off, leaving behind a beloved Malaysian family about to go back to Malaysia the next day.
Indianapolis, Chicago, Madison was our route. We had three destinations in Chicago; Soundvision, Sears Towers and the Halal KFC on either Roosevelt Rd or Devon. We went to Soundvision and got a book for A. Then we attended the Jumaah prayer where I met another homeschooling mom.
"Are they your daughters? Your sisters, right?" she asked me.
"Daughters," I replied.
With a look of disbelief she said, "Well, if you say so."
We got to chatting and exchanged contact information. Then we went on our way to Sears Towers. Of course we weren't going in it, for it costs about ten bucks per head. We drove past it and headed for the lake.
We had quite some time to spare because we set out early from Columbus. It was the plan to drive around in Chicago before we had to go to Madison. It was a 6 hours drive from Columbus to Chicago and another 2 from Chicago to Madison. We had time to kill, so we parked and romped on the beach.
The kids were ELATED! They had never been to a real beach except for the time when we went back to Malaysia and went to Langkawi. However, only S went to the beach with hubby then. The rest of us were stuck at the hotel. It wasn't quite a beach but pretty close. While we were looking at the scenery, N became engrossed in the soft smooth sand.
"N! Come and look atthe water!"
We called her countless times. She paid no heed and played with the sand. Head down, donning a blue hijab, she squated down and let the sand run through her fingers. H on the other hand began running all over the place. S hovered between running and playing with the sand. I felt content to see them enjoy such a simple thing. The wind whipped at my hijab, and I revelled in the scenery that pressed me to send my camera into overdrive. However, we didn't stay long, which was quite a pity because I could have forgoed Madison for a longer time at the lake.
When we arrived in Madison, N and H kept saying,
"I want to go to the beach again."
On the way back to Columbus, we passed Chicago, but we had to return the car by 6 pm, so we didn't have the luxury of stopping by Lake Shore Drive again. It was rewarding to see the joy and elation in their faces. I hope we can go there again insyaallah.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Knock Knock!
Many a mother will testify that they cannot even get time alone in the bathroom, much less anywhere else. This is especially true if there are infants or babies around. I've seen mothers who bring their babies in the bathroom with them. I've never done it myself, but I have had countless knocks, wails, and screams going on just on the other side of the bathroom door. Suffice it to say, you can't even relieve yourself in peace.
We only have one bathroom. I have a child who's prone to accidents, who likes to wait until the very last minute. After I became a mother, I see the bathroom as a safe haven where people cannot just barge in while you're in there, but I was proved wrong.
The kids were taught that they were supposed to knock if someone's in the bathroom, but they were not taught not to knock if there aren't any life endangering situations going on.
Knock, knock!
"What is it?"
"Ummi, N is ......."
Knock, knock!
"YES??!"
"S won't give me her...."
Knock, knock!
"What?!"
"I need to go potty!"
It's times like this that I sometimes sputter and mutter things under my breath. I couldn't even go potty in peace! And if you don't let them in immediately, they might give you extra work outside. I'd rather have to scramble and rush in the bathroom than clean up any excrements outside the bathroom door. So everytime there's a knock, I assume it's someone who needs to badly go potty. Many a times I go into a frenzied panic because I have to rush so they can come in and use the toilet.
Today, a knock which sounded pretty urgent interupted me in the bathroom. Sighing in utter exasperation, I hollered through the sound of the gushing water from the faucet,
"What?"
"mhmhphkendksjhsdfkhdfjlsdhf!"
"What?"
"hjgsdufkjhdsfkuherjkherkhtjh."
"Huh?"
"Jhgsdkjhduhyrkuhfdh."
After a while, I figured it wasn't someone needing to go potty, and I hastened to open the door in case there was another emergency.
"What?"
"A person named Sarah just signed in!"
H, pearly whites displayed over his sunburned face, proudly announced the 'emergency' that required him to knock on the bathroom door. Apparently he was siting at the computer when the darned MSN window popped up, signifying someone signing in.
I closed the door on his grinning face. Talk about having a little peace.
We only have one bathroom. I have a child who's prone to accidents, who likes to wait until the very last minute. After I became a mother, I see the bathroom as a safe haven where people cannot just barge in while you're in there, but I was proved wrong.
The kids were taught that they were supposed to knock if someone's in the bathroom, but they were not taught not to knock if there aren't any life endangering situations going on.
Knock, knock!
"What is it?"
"Ummi, N is ......."
Knock, knock!
"YES??!"
"S won't give me her...."
Knock, knock!
"What?!"
"I need to go potty!"
It's times like this that I sometimes sputter and mutter things under my breath. I couldn't even go potty in peace! And if you don't let them in immediately, they might give you extra work outside. I'd rather have to scramble and rush in the bathroom than clean up any excrements outside the bathroom door. So everytime there's a knock, I assume it's someone who needs to badly go potty. Many a times I go into a frenzied panic because I have to rush so they can come in and use the toilet.
Today, a knock which sounded pretty urgent interupted me in the bathroom. Sighing in utter exasperation, I hollered through the sound of the gushing water from the faucet,
"What?"
"mhmhphkendksjhsdfkhdfjlsdhf!"
"What?"
"hjgsdufkjhdsfkuherjkherkhtjh."
"Huh?"
"Jhgsdkjhduhyrkuhfdh."
After a while, I figured it wasn't someone needing to go potty, and I hastened to open the door in case there was another emergency.
"What?"
"A person named Sarah just signed in!"
H, pearly whites displayed over his sunburned face, proudly announced the 'emergency' that required him to knock on the bathroom door. Apparently he was siting at the computer when the darned MSN window popped up, signifying someone signing in.
I closed the door on his grinning face. Talk about having a little peace.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Taking notes
Last weekend MISG held a Tamrin Nuqaba for the graduating seniors. Students from Vanderbilt U, Minnesota, and Wisconsin among others came. I met some wonderful Malaysian sisters Masyaallah.
They had invited our local ex-MSA president to give two talks. Afraid that B might feel left out among the Malaysians, hubby decided to attend the talk. We all tagged along. The first talk he gave, we left the kids. The second one, the kids were all hyped up to see and hear Ammu B.
When B started giving the talk, S and N sat with me, and H sat with hubby with the rest of the brothers. I had told the kids that they could take notes when Ammu B gave the lecture. They nodded enthusiastically. H complained of not having any paper. I made sure he had some.
As for the girls, they were a tad distracted by a family friend's daughter during the talk. However, I noticed H sitting seriously next to hubby, taking down notes. I almost couldn't believe my eyes. This boy who was running all over the place before, was now seated quietly with a serious expression, taking down notes.
When the talk was over, we left for home, and I saw H's notes:
A jeboa is a animal
The munaqfikin pertend to be a muslim
a lie is bad even if its small
if you say your goig to come somewhere and you dont its a sin
peopole want to show of your deeds (to which he said "Their deeds I mean.")
if some body dosent want to be a muslim than thats becaus bad stuff
if peopole think that their goig to hurt someones feelings and say something else then thats not lying
B's talk was about the Munafeeqoon. I was really impressed by his notes, and more impressed by the fact that he had sat there quietly throughout the whole talk. I had repeatedly commended him whenever hubby brought him to the Friday prayers. Everytime he came home I asked,
"So what was the khutbah about today?"
"Was it interesting?"
"Yeah. I like the sto-wees," he said, eyes widening.
He retold the khutbah in his own way. One was about a cat who was left inside a room with no food and water. However he did complain about one thing when I asked him if he liked the one at the masjid of the one on campus better. When he answered, I asked him why, and he replied,
"Because the man didn't speak good English."
So, am I to understand that my son is able to discern accents in one's speech? No wonder these kids have been correcting our grammar lately!
They had invited our local ex-MSA president to give two talks. Afraid that B might feel left out among the Malaysians, hubby decided to attend the talk. We all tagged along. The first talk he gave, we left the kids. The second one, the kids were all hyped up to see and hear Ammu B.
When B started giving the talk, S and N sat with me, and H sat with hubby with the rest of the brothers. I had told the kids that they could take notes when Ammu B gave the lecture. They nodded enthusiastically. H complained of not having any paper. I made sure he had some.
As for the girls, they were a tad distracted by a family friend's daughter during the talk. However, I noticed H sitting seriously next to hubby, taking down notes. I almost couldn't believe my eyes. This boy who was running all over the place before, was now seated quietly with a serious expression, taking down notes.
When the talk was over, we left for home, and I saw H's notes:
A jeboa is a animal
The munaqfikin pertend to be a muslim
a lie is bad even if its small
if you say your goig to come somewhere and you dont its a sin
peopole want to show of your deeds (to which he said "Their deeds I mean.")
if some body dosent want to be a muslim than thats becaus bad stuff
if peopole think that their goig to hurt someones feelings and say something else then thats not lying
B's talk was about the Munafeeqoon. I was really impressed by his notes, and more impressed by the fact that he had sat there quietly throughout the whole talk. I had repeatedly commended him whenever hubby brought him to the Friday prayers. Everytime he came home I asked,
"So what was the khutbah about today?"
"Was it interesting?"
"Yeah. I like the sto-wees," he said, eyes widening.
He retold the khutbah in his own way. One was about a cat who was left inside a room with no food and water. However he did complain about one thing when I asked him if he liked the one at the masjid of the one on campus better. When he answered, I asked him why, and he replied,
"Because the man didn't speak good English."
So, am I to understand that my son is able to discern accents in one's speech? No wonder these kids have been correcting our grammar lately!
Monitor
"It's 8:30! How come you guys are not ready yet?"
"I see PJs on the floor!"
"The school table's not clear!"
"Why do you think I made those morning and evening routines?"
These were my utterances almost every morning for quite some time. I had meticulously selected cute cliparts for the kids' morning and evening routines I had made according to FlyLady's specifications. I printed them, carefully put contact paper over them, and hung them on the walls next to the bathroom. The goal was for the kids to be reminded every day of what they had to do. For a few days it worked, but after a while, the above scenario occured, again, and again, and again, and again.
It was time to stab at another method. I mulled over it. I ransacked my brains. I tore my hair out(figuratively, if I did it literally, I wouldn't have any hair now). I cried. I screamed in my pillow. I snapped at the family. I locked myself in the bathroom. Then I came up with what we now call The Monitor Chart.
Responsibilities produce responsible people. So I figured I would give them each a responsibility. Basically, each child would be given the job of a monitor each day. Each monitor is responsible for making sure the listed 'chore' is done before school starts. For each completed 'chore' a sticker is given. If a monitor gets a sticker for every chore, s/he gets a star.
It's still in the planning process, but I'm planning to attach an incentive to each or a group of stars. Just yesterday I was thinking,
1 star merits a 'monitor pass' (a monitor pass is like a ticket that they can use to pass up the job of monitor when they feel like it)
2 stars merit (I still have to think about this) candy or chocolate maybe
3 stars merit a request to go to a playground of their choice
5 stars merit a picnic
10 stars merit a visit to the ice cream shack (or maybe I should make that Chuck E. Cheeses)
So far the monitor chart seems to be working. However, there are still problems. H is the source of trouble for his sisters because he usually wakes up late and doesn't really obey them. I've been having this problem for a long time: have one child be responsible for the actions of the others yet the others make it difficult for her, and I say her because it always happens to S. When it is time for H to be monitor however, everything runs smoothly because he just shouts out his orders like a captain. His sisters are not that difficult to manage either, though I sometimes notice S purposely dilly dallying so her obnoxious brother wouldn't get a star. N, doesn't like to be monitor, as her personality is rather, well let's just say she doesn't like to boss people around.
So now, every morning, instead of getting all worked up, I just let them do their chores at their own pace. If they don't do it in time, they don't get a star, and I will still tell them to do what they need to do. If they do it, they get stickers and possibly a star, and with the stars, something else. So far it seems to work. In the process, they insyallah will get used to picking up their dirty laundry, hanging their towels, making their beds, cleaning the kitchen table once they're done with breakfast, and being punctual. As they learn to use their accumulated stars, maybe they will learn how to be frugal and efficient, values hubby are just generously imbued with.
"I see PJs on the floor!"
"The school table's not clear!"
"Why do you think I made those morning and evening routines?"
These were my utterances almost every morning for quite some time. I had meticulously selected cute cliparts for the kids' morning and evening routines I had made according to FlyLady's specifications. I printed them, carefully put contact paper over them, and hung them on the walls next to the bathroom. The goal was for the kids to be reminded every day of what they had to do. For a few days it worked, but after a while, the above scenario occured, again, and again, and again, and again.
It was time to stab at another method. I mulled over it. I ransacked my brains. I tore my hair out(figuratively, if I did it literally, I wouldn't have any hair now). I cried. I screamed in my pillow. I snapped at the family. I locked myself in the bathroom. Then I came up with what we now call The Monitor Chart.
Responsibilities produce responsible people. So I figured I would give them each a responsibility. Basically, each child would be given the job of a monitor each day. Each monitor is responsible for making sure the listed 'chore' is done before school starts. For each completed 'chore' a sticker is given. If a monitor gets a sticker for every chore, s/he gets a star.
It's still in the planning process, but I'm planning to attach an incentive to each or a group of stars. Just yesterday I was thinking,
1 star merits a 'monitor pass' (a monitor pass is like a ticket that they can use to pass up the job of monitor when they feel like it)
2 stars merit (I still have to think about this) candy or chocolate maybe
3 stars merit a request to go to a playground of their choice
5 stars merit a picnic
10 stars merit a visit to the ice cream shack (or maybe I should make that Chuck E. Cheeses)
So far the monitor chart seems to be working. However, there are still problems. H is the source of trouble for his sisters because he usually wakes up late and doesn't really obey them. I've been having this problem for a long time: have one child be responsible for the actions of the others yet the others make it difficult for her, and I say her because it always happens to S. When it is time for H to be monitor however, everything runs smoothly because he just shouts out his orders like a captain. His sisters are not that difficult to manage either, though I sometimes notice S purposely dilly dallying so her obnoxious brother wouldn't get a star. N, doesn't like to be monitor, as her personality is rather, well let's just say she doesn't like to boss people around.
So now, every morning, instead of getting all worked up, I just let them do their chores at their own pace. If they don't do it in time, they don't get a star, and I will still tell them to do what they need to do. If they do it, they get stickers and possibly a star, and with the stars, something else. So far it seems to work. In the process, they insyallah will get used to picking up their dirty laundry, hanging their towels, making their beds, cleaning the kitchen table once they're done with breakfast, and being punctual. As they learn to use their accumulated stars, maybe they will learn how to be frugal and efficient, values hubby are just generously imbued with.
Discipline and Dedication
Trial and error. My life story. Homeschooling requires extreme discipline and dedication. Do I have that discipline and dedication?
Well, I used to make myself go to bed at 11 pm every night during the exam years in boarding school. I made myself wake up at 5 am so I could beat the 'shower rush' and have extra time to study.
"If you don't sleep by 11, you're like a crazy woman the next day," said my dear roommate in college.
On the other hand, during the holidays, I used to sleep all the way to lunch time, as compensation for the 'discipline' I underwent at school. My parents labelled me 'lazy' and up to this day, I still partly believe I am, though my activities might prove otherwise.
When the kids were younger, my routines were more organized. After Fajr, I would rush downstairs to cook both lunch and dinner for the day, albeit with some silent grumblings. Hubby would then take the kids, give them their showers, and leave for school. The rest of the morning I would sit with the kids, either teaching them, breastfeeding one of them and changing all of their diapers. Now it sounds like I had nothing to do but at the time, only Allah knows how exhausting it was.
Lunch time, I would feed them and myself. Then it was cleaning time because I let them eat by themselves, thus resulting in a BIG mess on the dining table and the space under it, not to mention the grubby hands, messy little mouths, stained bibs, icky high chair and sticky chubby thighs. Nevertheless, I stuck with the decision and let them feed themselves. I'm glad I did too, because that truly improved their fine motor skills and saved me a lot of trouble later on. I remember seeing my brothers spoonfed up to the age of 10, and I also remember being told I had to be pushed in a stroller and spoonfed so I would eat. I told myself, "I WILL NEVER do that to my kids."
Then came naptime, my reprieve, or maybe not. I would put S and N to sleep, read them their surahs, while H clung to me, either breastfeeding or babbling away. Thinking back, I really miss those times.
There was a time when I actually left a tape recorder in the room and left it running. As I listened back to it, tears welled in my eyes. How fast time flies! I would love to revisit those times, with the exception of stinky diapers.
While they napped, I dashed downstairs and did a half to one hour workout. Some days were good days, where they napped soundly. Others were really days where I thought I would die from an over beating heart. While I jumped and marched, wails and cries resounded throughout the apartment, requiring me to sprint upstairs in my clean sneakers (which never touched the grounds outside the apartment), and calm them down. I stubbornly stuck to my exercise routine because I told myself, after looking in the mirror post delivery, that I would do something about my lump of a body. And I did.
An hour or two would pass by, and I would take my shower. Before I could sit and rest, one of them or all of them would cry. Snack time. Again, the mess on and under the table. Again, the cleaning. By 4 pm every day I was dead on the couch, waiting for hubby to come home and eat dinner. That was how I greeted him almost every day, in nice representable clothes, perfumed, but dead to the world.
Bedtime was right after dinner, around 7 pm. After that, it was time to copy down recipes from cookbooks I greedily checked out from the library. I did weekly menus, and when my baking craze came, which was very often, I would arrange my cooking schedule such that I won't have to cook everyday. I would dedicate the time trying out new recipes, decorating cakes, while the kids played, napped, and even while I exercised. Don't ask me how I did it, but all I can say is, if you have the will you WILL have the power insyaallah. However, old age and grown kids have shaved that will away from me now.
So do I have that discipline and dedication to homeschool? I believe I do, but like iman, they fluctuate every now and then.
Well, I used to make myself go to bed at 11 pm every night during the exam years in boarding school. I made myself wake up at 5 am so I could beat the 'shower rush' and have extra time to study.
"If you don't sleep by 11, you're like a crazy woman the next day," said my dear roommate in college.
On the other hand, during the holidays, I used to sleep all the way to lunch time, as compensation for the 'discipline' I underwent at school. My parents labelled me 'lazy' and up to this day, I still partly believe I am, though my activities might prove otherwise.
When the kids were younger, my routines were more organized. After Fajr, I would rush downstairs to cook both lunch and dinner for the day, albeit with some silent grumblings. Hubby would then take the kids, give them their showers, and leave for school. The rest of the morning I would sit with the kids, either teaching them, breastfeeding one of them and changing all of their diapers. Now it sounds like I had nothing to do but at the time, only Allah knows how exhausting it was.
Lunch time, I would feed them and myself. Then it was cleaning time because I let them eat by themselves, thus resulting in a BIG mess on the dining table and the space under it, not to mention the grubby hands, messy little mouths, stained bibs, icky high chair and sticky chubby thighs. Nevertheless, I stuck with the decision and let them feed themselves. I'm glad I did too, because that truly improved their fine motor skills and saved me a lot of trouble later on. I remember seeing my brothers spoonfed up to the age of 10, and I also remember being told I had to be pushed in a stroller and spoonfed so I would eat. I told myself, "I WILL NEVER do that to my kids."
Then came naptime, my reprieve, or maybe not. I would put S and N to sleep, read them their surahs, while H clung to me, either breastfeeding or babbling away. Thinking back, I really miss those times.
There was a time when I actually left a tape recorder in the room and left it running. As I listened back to it, tears welled in my eyes. How fast time flies! I would love to revisit those times, with the exception of stinky diapers.
While they napped, I dashed downstairs and did a half to one hour workout. Some days were good days, where they napped soundly. Others were really days where I thought I would die from an over beating heart. While I jumped and marched, wails and cries resounded throughout the apartment, requiring me to sprint upstairs in my clean sneakers (which never touched the grounds outside the apartment), and calm them down. I stubbornly stuck to my exercise routine because I told myself, after looking in the mirror post delivery, that I would do something about my lump of a body. And I did.
An hour or two would pass by, and I would take my shower. Before I could sit and rest, one of them or all of them would cry. Snack time. Again, the mess on and under the table. Again, the cleaning. By 4 pm every day I was dead on the couch, waiting for hubby to come home and eat dinner. That was how I greeted him almost every day, in nice representable clothes, perfumed, but dead to the world.
Bedtime was right after dinner, around 7 pm. After that, it was time to copy down recipes from cookbooks I greedily checked out from the library. I did weekly menus, and when my baking craze came, which was very often, I would arrange my cooking schedule such that I won't have to cook everyday. I would dedicate the time trying out new recipes, decorating cakes, while the kids played, napped, and even while I exercised. Don't ask me how I did it, but all I can say is, if you have the will you WILL have the power insyaallah. However, old age and grown kids have shaved that will away from me now.
So do I have that discipline and dedication to homeschool? I believe I do, but like iman, they fluctuate every now and then.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Truly Embracing Motherhood
I was brought to a particular realization recently from a comment made by a sister in the course of discussing the local community here.
She said that part of the reason an ummah declines in quality is because mothers leave the task of raising their children to someone else, and the reason for an ummah's increase in quality is also due to mothers who raise a high quality future generation.
She gave examples of the old scholars. It reminded me of Imam Malik's mother. We learned a bit about the four Imams in Code Evolved, taught by Syeikh Yaser Birjas back in March 2005. Every morning, Imam Malik's mother would dress him up and walk him herself to the masjid to sit with the other men in their halaqa, after Fajr. He was just a child then.
As a mother, I was immediately struck by the significance of the story, and applied it to myself. Am I that kind of mother? I think I am far from it. Do I have the tenacity to BE that kind of mother? Well I have to reform myself first and foremost, and that's a lot of work in itself. Do I want my children to grow up as average Muslims? Definitely not. What do I want for them? It would really be nice if they grow up to be Mukmins who can benefit the society and be among those whom Allah wants good for. When Allah wants good for a person, He will endow him with knowledge and hikmah.
Then I thought about mothers embracing motherhood. Are we really embracing motherhood today? Do we realize the role mothers play in determining the future of the ummah? Or are we blinded by feminism ? Are we distracted by their movements that in reality direct us away from our true roles ? Are we leaving the future of the ummah in mid air? Are we belittling the roles of wives and mothers in the traditional sense for the modern roles of women touted religiously by the west?
The west itself now is returning to the traditional roles. They have realized that mothers need to be home for producing high quality future generation. They have come to this realization while the east is still clambering in their wake.
When we think of the roles mothers actually play in the ummah as a whole, it truly gives birth to a Qintar of gems. There is a reason why Allah has stated the roles of a wife as being responsible for the husband's household and raising the children. There is a reason why Allah has stated what He did; because He is our creator, and He knows us better than we know ourselves. We DO NOT have the intelligence to even contest that, but we do anyway, astaghfirullah.
Women have been fighting for their 'rights' in the west when the rights of women are already established in Islam. In choosing a spouse the suitability is sought for the woman. In the law of inheritance, the women is given a small amount compared to the men because the men are supposed to spend some of that amoun to take care of the women under their care. So what the women inherited is like extra allowance, because her maintenance is supposed to be handled by the male. The woman is described like a rib. She cannot be forced to change but has to be gently handled. Men are advised by Allah to be gentle with women. Men are OBLIGATED to exert kindness to their wives. To have 'being kind' as a stipulation in a marriage contract is even considered repetitive because by default, the husband SHOULD be kind to the wife. It is his obligation. And by being kind, it includes displaying affection, playing with the wife, showing mercy etc. A perfect example would be Muhammad SAW and how he treated his wives.
Yet, do we truly realize all this? Are we women thankful for all this? Do we embrace our roles completely and with full submission and thankfulness? Do we embrace our importance to the ummah seriously? I don't think we do. I think underestimate our roles esepecially in light of Islam. I think we have been swayed by the western values so much so that we have actually degraded ourselves to a lower rung of the ladder. Our sight have been obliterated by these values, and in turn we look down upon the traditional roles of women in light of Islam.
The mother plays a really strong role in shaping her children, much much more than the father. That is why Allah told the men to look for deen when looking for a spouse, because their future progeny will be in the hands of this woman. That is why Allah told women to be responsible for the husband's household and raising the children, because to sway from this would produce different situations and possibly unprecendented problems. In other words, that is the ideal arrangement. Maybe the benefit cannot be seen immediately, but the benefit and reward would probably be more intangible than tangible.
Marriage can lead to haram when a man is forced to beg simply to support his family, but there is also the fact that rizq has been determined by Allah. This is not to say that we should sit back and wait for wealth to come tumbling down from the sky, for the birds didn't stay in their nests. The birds go out every day to look for food and Allah provides for them. They go out in the morning with nothing and come back in the evening with provisions. We should always tie our camels but not be too obsessed in securing everything for the future. In general though, you gain something but lose something else. The question we should now ask ourselves is: What are we willing to lose first?
She said that part of the reason an ummah declines in quality is because mothers leave the task of raising their children to someone else, and the reason for an ummah's increase in quality is also due to mothers who raise a high quality future generation.
She gave examples of the old scholars. It reminded me of Imam Malik's mother. We learned a bit about the four Imams in Code Evolved, taught by Syeikh Yaser Birjas back in March 2005. Every morning, Imam Malik's mother would dress him up and walk him herself to the masjid to sit with the other men in their halaqa, after Fajr. He was just a child then.
As a mother, I was immediately struck by the significance of the story, and applied it to myself. Am I that kind of mother? I think I am far from it. Do I have the tenacity to BE that kind of mother? Well I have to reform myself first and foremost, and that's a lot of work in itself. Do I want my children to grow up as average Muslims? Definitely not. What do I want for them? It would really be nice if they grow up to be Mukmins who can benefit the society and be among those whom Allah wants good for. When Allah wants good for a person, He will endow him with knowledge and hikmah.
Then I thought about mothers embracing motherhood. Are we really embracing motherhood today? Do we realize the role mothers play in determining the future of the ummah? Or are we blinded by feminism ? Are we distracted by their movements that in reality direct us away from our true roles ? Are we leaving the future of the ummah in mid air? Are we belittling the roles of wives and mothers in the traditional sense for the modern roles of women touted religiously by the west?
The west itself now is returning to the traditional roles. They have realized that mothers need to be home for producing high quality future generation. They have come to this realization while the east is still clambering in their wake.
When we think of the roles mothers actually play in the ummah as a whole, it truly gives birth to a Qintar of gems. There is a reason why Allah has stated the roles of a wife as being responsible for the husband's household and raising the children. There is a reason why Allah has stated what He did; because He is our creator, and He knows us better than we know ourselves. We DO NOT have the intelligence to even contest that, but we do anyway, astaghfirullah.
Women have been fighting for their 'rights' in the west when the rights of women are already established in Islam. In choosing a spouse the suitability is sought for the woman. In the law of inheritance, the women is given a small amount compared to the men because the men are supposed to spend some of that amoun to take care of the women under their care. So what the women inherited is like extra allowance, because her maintenance is supposed to be handled by the male. The woman is described like a rib. She cannot be forced to change but has to be gently handled. Men are advised by Allah to be gentle with women. Men are OBLIGATED to exert kindness to their wives. To have 'being kind' as a stipulation in a marriage contract is even considered repetitive because by default, the husband SHOULD be kind to the wife. It is his obligation. And by being kind, it includes displaying affection, playing with the wife, showing mercy etc. A perfect example would be Muhammad SAW and how he treated his wives.
Yet, do we truly realize all this? Are we women thankful for all this? Do we embrace our roles completely and with full submission and thankfulness? Do we embrace our importance to the ummah seriously? I don't think we do. I think underestimate our roles esepecially in light of Islam. I think we have been swayed by the western values so much so that we have actually degraded ourselves to a lower rung of the ladder. Our sight have been obliterated by these values, and in turn we look down upon the traditional roles of women in light of Islam.
The mother plays a really strong role in shaping her children, much much more than the father. That is why Allah told the men to look for deen when looking for a spouse, because their future progeny will be in the hands of this woman. That is why Allah told women to be responsible for the husband's household and raising the children, because to sway from this would produce different situations and possibly unprecendented problems. In other words, that is the ideal arrangement. Maybe the benefit cannot be seen immediately, but the benefit and reward would probably be more intangible than tangible.
Marriage can lead to haram when a man is forced to beg simply to support his family, but there is also the fact that rizq has been determined by Allah. This is not to say that we should sit back and wait for wealth to come tumbling down from the sky, for the birds didn't stay in their nests. The birds go out every day to look for food and Allah provides for them. They go out in the morning with nothing and come back in the evening with provisions. We should always tie our camels but not be too obsessed in securing everything for the future. In general though, you gain something but lose something else. The question we should now ask ourselves is: What are we willing to lose first?
Thursday, May 18, 2006
A House's Awrah
"Ummi, can non Muslims come inside our house?" H asked me yesterday.
"Why?" I asked him in return.
"Did SY want to come in just now?" I asked him again.
Hours prior to his question, I was at the computer downstairs. H was playing with our Korean neighbor's son two doors away outside. They loitered in the front yard and the back yard. There was a time when the kitchen door opened, and I saw SY peeking in, before H closed the door. I figured H was asking because SY had probably wanted to come inside.
"No, but I was asking him where he wants to play," H replied.
I was quite surprised at H's question and answer. The fact that he was asking me showed that he was thinking about the limits of who are allowed to come in the house while we are all wearing casual clothes. I have always taught them to not leave the door open in case someone peeks in. We have had problems of clashing cultures here. The Chinese apparently have different limits with regards to peeking in other people's houses. Many a times we have had strange Chinese faces popping up in our slightly open doors. There was even an instance where one neighbor just barged in while Hubby and I were on the couch. Fortunately it was a she, though that didn't make the matter any much less disturbing.
I hesitated before answering him. His face was serious, which was quite a welcome surprise because he's usually cheeky and playful. I was so happy and glad that he actually thought about it and asked. Alhamdulillah.
"Well, it depends. It doesn't matter who it is, Muslim or non Muslim. Before anyone comes into our house, make sure you tell us first," I said, watching him to see if he understood.
"Because sometimes, I might have to put something on," I explained further.
"Or Abi too?" he chimed in.
I nodded.
"Or even S and N. S is getting bigger, so you don't want to just bring anyone inside. Just let us know first," I said.
I commended him on his thoughtfulness. As he left with his serious expression, I couldn't help smiling, and felt really pleased. I suppose this was one of those times where they 'output' what you 'input' in their databases, even if it was eons ago. Never underestimate a child's retaining power. Subhanallah!
Alhamdulillah, I have taught the kids to only knock 3 times at the most on other people's door, based on this hadith:
For Allah’s Messenger (s) said: "Should one of you ask permission three times and is not answered, then he should leave." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Islam is such a beautiful way of life that encompasses all aspects of life. It's a pity that most Muslims nowadays do not embrace that fact in its totality. We have left the sunnah behind. It's high time we learn it and revive it. We can begin with ourselves, and our children insyaallah. Let the Sunnah LIVE!
"Why?" I asked him in return.
"Did SY want to come in just now?" I asked him again.
Hours prior to his question, I was at the computer downstairs. H was playing with our Korean neighbor's son two doors away outside. They loitered in the front yard and the back yard. There was a time when the kitchen door opened, and I saw SY peeking in, before H closed the door. I figured H was asking because SY had probably wanted to come inside.
"No, but I was asking him where he wants to play," H replied.
I was quite surprised at H's question and answer. The fact that he was asking me showed that he was thinking about the limits of who are allowed to come in the house while we are all wearing casual clothes. I have always taught them to not leave the door open in case someone peeks in. We have had problems of clashing cultures here. The Chinese apparently have different limits with regards to peeking in other people's houses. Many a times we have had strange Chinese faces popping up in our slightly open doors. There was even an instance where one neighbor just barged in while Hubby and I were on the couch. Fortunately it was a she, though that didn't make the matter any much less disturbing.
I hesitated before answering him. His face was serious, which was quite a welcome surprise because he's usually cheeky and playful. I was so happy and glad that he actually thought about it and asked. Alhamdulillah.
"Well, it depends. It doesn't matter who it is, Muslim or non Muslim. Before anyone comes into our house, make sure you tell us first," I said, watching him to see if he understood.
"Because sometimes, I might have to put something on," I explained further.
"Or Abi too?" he chimed in.
I nodded.
"Or even S and N. S is getting bigger, so you don't want to just bring anyone inside. Just let us know first," I said.
I commended him on his thoughtfulness. As he left with his serious expression, I couldn't help smiling, and felt really pleased. I suppose this was one of those times where they 'output' what you 'input' in their databases, even if it was eons ago. Never underestimate a child's retaining power. Subhanallah!
Alhamdulillah, I have taught the kids to only knock 3 times at the most on other people's door, based on this hadith:
For Allah’s Messenger (s) said: "Should one of you ask permission three times and is not answered, then he should leave." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Islam is such a beautiful way of life that encompasses all aspects of life. It's a pity that most Muslims nowadays do not embrace that fact in its totality. We have left the sunnah behind. It's high time we learn it and revive it. We can begin with ourselves, and our children insyaallah. Let the Sunnah LIVE!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Oh BLEEP
H is now learning about money. His spelling is like that of a first grader. His reading is like that of a first to second grader. His writing is like that of a doctor.
I was checking the worksheet page he did when my eyes scanned over a word that shouldn't be in any child's vocabulary! (well at least in my opinion)
"Scott need _______________" was the problem he was supposed to solve.
He wrote ," 5 more peni*"
All down the page he wrote the same thing, with the same spelling. Obviously he doesn't know what he did, and I wasn't and am not about to tell him. Not in a couple of years at least.
I guess the word itself is not taboo in a total sense. However, it's the connotation that comes with it that makes it a taboo.
So, what do I make of this? What a way to begin the day!
I was checking the worksheet page he did when my eyes scanned over a word that shouldn't be in any child's vocabulary! (well at least in my opinion)
"Scott need _______________" was the problem he was supposed to solve.
He wrote ," 5 more peni*"
All down the page he wrote the same thing, with the same spelling. Obviously he doesn't know what he did, and I wasn't and am not about to tell him. Not in a couple of years at least.
I guess the word itself is not taboo in a total sense. However, it's the connotation that comes with it that makes it a taboo.
So, what do I make of this? What a way to begin the day!
It's Not Fair!
S was working on her poetry. I'm finding that I actually like the K12 writing lesson plan for third graders. They laid it out in such an organized and easy way to follow. Lesson by lesson, they build up the child's ability to master the skill.
She first did writing in general, then a report, and now poetry. So far it seems as if she's really getting the hang of it, and having fun too. When we started the lesson, she already came up with two of her own poems, which I think are pretty good. Then today, she came up with a rhyming one, to whic I exclaimed,
"MASYAALLAH! This is really good!"
I probably made it into such a big deal that S was actually smiling coyly, while N and H's curiosities grew. As usual, S prevented her siblings from reading her writing. She has done this countless times, and at times she wouldn't let me read her writings. Hubby did say S was like him: secretive. I silently felt dread when he said that, because having a secretive child is a challenge in itself.
"You ALWAYS want to keep it PRIVATE!" N suddenly screamed.
N is not prone to yelling or screaming when angry. When she does, you are brought to attention. And when she does scream or yell, tears usually follow.
For a moment, I sat there open-mouthed, not knowing what to do or how to handle the situation. One child has an overwhelming need to protect her personal writing. The other has an overwhelming need to share things with her sister. I said the obvious in the end.
"N, S has a right to keep things private. It's hers. We can't force her to share if she doesn't want to."
"But it's not fair!" N retorted, sparkling crystal tears hanging precariously off her lashes.
It didn't do the trick. N was still feeling left out, while S was feeling secretive. I was feeling lost.
Suddenly I remembered the age old rule of thumb.
"But it's good that you expressed how you feel. It's healthy."
"It's healthy?" S asked, obviously puzzled.
"Yes, you need to express your feelings. It's not healthy to have it bottled up. So now you know how N feels about you keeping your writing a secret all the time," I explained.
"Oh," said S.
Suddenly, N got off her chair, tears still making their way gracefully down her smooth, chubby cheeks, and hugged a surprised S, witnessed by a more surprised me.
Well, I guess I indirectly opened the hatch of a dam of emotions. N is such a sentimental and sensitive girl. S is sensitive in her own way, but more withdrawn, just like most firstborns are. H, well, H is a typical boy, whatever that means.
I learned a lesson today, and I'm still reeling from the sheer depth of the simple statement I made.
At any rate, S did say that people can only read her writings when they're on the computer. I don't know how that would make it different, but I suppose girls are girls. So while I sit here documenting this 'momentous' discovery of the depth of human emotions, my eldest daughter is sitting at the computer downstairs, typing in her poems for all to read. I even told her that N can illustrate for her. I don't know if she's going to take it up, but it would be nice to see sisters working together to produce maybe our own anthology of poems.
She first did writing in general, then a report, and now poetry. So far it seems as if she's really getting the hang of it, and having fun too. When we started the lesson, she already came up with two of her own poems, which I think are pretty good. Then today, she came up with a rhyming one, to whic I exclaimed,
"MASYAALLAH! This is really good!"
I probably made it into such a big deal that S was actually smiling coyly, while N and H's curiosities grew. As usual, S prevented her siblings from reading her writing. She has done this countless times, and at times she wouldn't let me read her writings. Hubby did say S was like him: secretive. I silently felt dread when he said that, because having a secretive child is a challenge in itself.
"You ALWAYS want to keep it PRIVATE!" N suddenly screamed.
N is not prone to yelling or screaming when angry. When she does, you are brought to attention. And when she does scream or yell, tears usually follow.
For a moment, I sat there open-mouthed, not knowing what to do or how to handle the situation. One child has an overwhelming need to protect her personal writing. The other has an overwhelming need to share things with her sister. I said the obvious in the end.
"N, S has a right to keep things private. It's hers. We can't force her to share if she doesn't want to."
"But it's not fair!" N retorted, sparkling crystal tears hanging precariously off her lashes.
It didn't do the trick. N was still feeling left out, while S was feeling secretive. I was feeling lost.
Suddenly I remembered the age old rule of thumb.
"But it's good that you expressed how you feel. It's healthy."
"It's healthy?" S asked, obviously puzzled.
"Yes, you need to express your feelings. It's not healthy to have it bottled up. So now you know how N feels about you keeping your writing a secret all the time," I explained.
"Oh," said S.
Suddenly, N got off her chair, tears still making their way gracefully down her smooth, chubby cheeks, and hugged a surprised S, witnessed by a more surprised me.
Well, I guess I indirectly opened the hatch of a dam of emotions. N is such a sentimental and sensitive girl. S is sensitive in her own way, but more withdrawn, just like most firstborns are. H, well, H is a typical boy, whatever that means.
I learned a lesson today, and I'm still reeling from the sheer depth of the simple statement I made.
At any rate, S did say that people can only read her writings when they're on the computer. I don't know how that would make it different, but I suppose girls are girls. So while I sit here documenting this 'momentous' discovery of the depth of human emotions, my eldest daughter is sitting at the computer downstairs, typing in her poems for all to read. I even told her that N can illustrate for her. I don't know if she's going to take it up, but it would be nice to see sisters working together to produce maybe our own anthology of poems.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Are you SMART?
"Oh we can't go to Big Lots. It's raining," I said, as I looked outside.
"Ummi, are you smartTTT?" asked N suddenly.
"Huh?"
"Are you smartTTT?" she asked again, her T especially accented, for no obvious reason.
I was busy fumbling with the scotch tape, trying to tape S's Assessment papers onto her lapbook.
"I don't know," I answered.
This must be one of her 'out of the blue' questions, I thought.
"Have you heard of UMBRELLA?" she said.
S began to giggle. I didn't answer, but after a while S's giggle infected me and I started giggling. Ok, so maybe I'm not that smart, I suppose, but where the heaven did she get this cheek?
It was a drizzle. Hubby took the van. We'd have to walk if we want to go to Big Lots. I don't really mind, and I do need the exercise.
However, after today, every time I see a drizzle, I'll always remember, "Ummi, are you smartTTTTT?"
"Ummi, are you smartTTT?" asked N suddenly.
"Huh?"
"Are you smartTTT?" she asked again, her T especially accented, for no obvious reason.
I was busy fumbling with the scotch tape, trying to tape S's Assessment papers onto her lapbook.
"I don't know," I answered.
This must be one of her 'out of the blue' questions, I thought.
"Have you heard of UMBRELLA?" she said.
S began to giggle. I didn't answer, but after a while S's giggle infected me and I started giggling. Ok, so maybe I'm not that smart, I suppose, but where the heaven did she get this cheek?
It was a drizzle. Hubby took the van. We'd have to walk if we want to go to Big Lots. I don't really mind, and I do need the exercise.
However, after today, every time I see a drizzle, I'll always remember, "Ummi, are you smartTTTTT?"
Balancing Act
Yesterday I had what I dub the 'AlMaghrib Marathon'. It started from 8 am all the way to 5 pm. I was practically studying from 8 am to 5 pm yesterday.
For those who know me, you should have known by now that I'm a faithful AlMaghrib student. I have taken so far five Almaghrib classes, 3 here in Columbus, 1 in Ann Arbor and 1 in Indianapolis.
When I graduated, I told myself "Now I can read whatever I want. No one has to force me to read textbooks I don't even want to read in the first place." I began to immerse myself in learning the deen. However, I was in bad need of structure. I don't work well without structure. So I just made do with the available halaqa, mailing lists and websites. Five years later, AlMaghrib came tumbling down my path, when Muhammad AlShareef and Yaser Birjas came to COlumbus to do a promo for AlMaghrib. I was entranced. I have never paid attention to an Islamic lecture as I did that summer of 2003 when they have us lectures as part of their promo. I decided right there and then that I was definitely going to take their classes.
Our first class was Yaser Birjas's Code Evolved. Subhanallah! I learned so much. I had gone into that class thinking all my answer now would be answered. I came out of the class with even more questions and Syeikh Yaser's statement "Every key has ridges. You have to find those ridges so your key can open the door." Today, I'm still searching for those ridges. It will be some time before I can open the door.
Ever since i took taht first class, I was hooked. I also put a lot on my plate. Now I have to balance homeschooling and being a student. Technically though, you'll be a student all your life. So far, I have done everything from sneaking in AlMaghrib in my busy schedule, dragging my husband and kids to my AlMaghrib classes, stealing time to attend the study sessions and taking the exams, and plunging into extended AlMaghrib projects. Suffice it to say, my plate is heaping full!
How do I balance this? Oh, and to top it off, I'm also working my behind trying to master the art of writing. I have put aside my baking, sewing, and even cooking for studying, homeschooling and writing. I used to bake, sew and cook, as expected of a typical housewife (at least a Malaysian one). I used to really hate it when Malaysians would just assume that I would do all those simply because I'm a 'housewife'. They would never understand someone who has a degree and chooses to stay home, homeschool the kids and study. I've grown wiser through the years, (hopefully), and now, I don't really care what people think. I don't get that defensive anymore. I've found what I really want to do, that I truly enjoy, ALHAMDULILLAH!
What troubles me though, is the balancing act. How do I make sure I'm not neglecting the kids by immersing myself in all these endeavors? it seems like I'm trying very hard to juggle more than three balls when I don't even know how to jugggle. From 8 to 10 am yesterday, I had the Light of Guidance Project Revision. Then 11 am to 2 pm, I had Fiqh Of Love study session. Then 3-5 pm, I had the Fiqh of Love Reloaded quiz. Somehow I managed to whip up meehoon goreng and fried macaroni between 2 and 3 pm. By evening, I was laying on the couch with a sore neck.
Today, it's back to work. I realize also throughout last weekend that I have a LOT to be thankful for. It has always been my worry that I'm not giving the kids what they need. I keep second guessing myself on this decision to homeschool. I weighed my priorities more than once. I complain to hubby, then I see what I had overlooked.
The girls are very punctual about their prayers alhamdulillah. They even remind me to be on time.
"Hurry up Ummi. It's Zuhr!" N called to me while I was in the shower, (taking longer than I usually did)
Recently, they had lessons about being grateful. I incorporate those 'Islamic Studies' in our daily lives because I find that i don't really have time to do them 'lesson plan' wise.
What keeps worrying me about homeschooling is other people's evaluations. Are the kids up to par with kids in Islamic School? Are they up to par with kids in public schools? Are they up to par with homeschooled kids? Then I realized that my goal and purpose for homeschooling them is not to compare them with anyone. So what if they're not up to par? Do we really have a standard by which to measure if a person will be successful in life or not? My mother recently sent a letter to a newspaper in Malaysia, talking about how the society's expectations of goo grades have actually downplayed the seeking of knowledge itself. When I read her letter, I couldn't help nodding in agreement.
I homeschool them so they can grow up to be Muslims Allah will be pleased with insyaallah. It wouldn't hurt to have them know a lot about the deen, but no matter what we do, it is only ALlah who can bestow on us that knowledge. It doesn;t just come like that despite really hard and dilligent work, at least not in the right context. Sure, they need to know the worldly stuff too, but it is more important that they are firm in their deen, because,
They know only the outside appearance of the life of the world (i.e. the matters of their livelihood, like irrigating or sowing or reaping, etc.), and they are heedless of the Hereafter. Ar-Rum (30/7)
For those who know me, you should have known by now that I'm a faithful AlMaghrib student. I have taken so far five Almaghrib classes, 3 here in Columbus, 1 in Ann Arbor and 1 in Indianapolis.
When I graduated, I told myself "Now I can read whatever I want. No one has to force me to read textbooks I don't even want to read in the first place." I began to immerse myself in learning the deen. However, I was in bad need of structure. I don't work well without structure. So I just made do with the available halaqa, mailing lists and websites. Five years later, AlMaghrib came tumbling down my path, when Muhammad AlShareef and Yaser Birjas came to COlumbus to do a promo for AlMaghrib. I was entranced. I have never paid attention to an Islamic lecture as I did that summer of 2003 when they have us lectures as part of their promo. I decided right there and then that I was definitely going to take their classes.
Our first class was Yaser Birjas's Code Evolved. Subhanallah! I learned so much. I had gone into that class thinking all my answer now would be answered. I came out of the class with even more questions and Syeikh Yaser's statement "Every key has ridges. You have to find those ridges so your key can open the door." Today, I'm still searching for those ridges. It will be some time before I can open the door.
Ever since i took taht first class, I was hooked. I also put a lot on my plate. Now I have to balance homeschooling and being a student. Technically though, you'll be a student all your life. So far, I have done everything from sneaking in AlMaghrib in my busy schedule, dragging my husband and kids to my AlMaghrib classes, stealing time to attend the study sessions and taking the exams, and plunging into extended AlMaghrib projects. Suffice it to say, my plate is heaping full!
How do I balance this? Oh, and to top it off, I'm also working my behind trying to master the art of writing. I have put aside my baking, sewing, and even cooking for studying, homeschooling and writing. I used to bake, sew and cook, as expected of a typical housewife (at least a Malaysian one). I used to really hate it when Malaysians would just assume that I would do all those simply because I'm a 'housewife'. They would never understand someone who has a degree and chooses to stay home, homeschool the kids and study. I've grown wiser through the years, (hopefully), and now, I don't really care what people think. I don't get that defensive anymore. I've found what I really want to do, that I truly enjoy, ALHAMDULILLAH!
What troubles me though, is the balancing act. How do I make sure I'm not neglecting the kids by immersing myself in all these endeavors? it seems like I'm trying very hard to juggle more than three balls when I don't even know how to jugggle. From 8 to 10 am yesterday, I had the Light of Guidance Project Revision. Then 11 am to 2 pm, I had Fiqh Of Love study session. Then 3-5 pm, I had the Fiqh of Love Reloaded quiz. Somehow I managed to whip up meehoon goreng and fried macaroni between 2 and 3 pm. By evening, I was laying on the couch with a sore neck.
Today, it's back to work. I realize also throughout last weekend that I have a LOT to be thankful for. It has always been my worry that I'm not giving the kids what they need. I keep second guessing myself on this decision to homeschool. I weighed my priorities more than once. I complain to hubby, then I see what I had overlooked.
The girls are very punctual about their prayers alhamdulillah. They even remind me to be on time.
"Hurry up Ummi. It's Zuhr!" N called to me while I was in the shower, (taking longer than I usually did)
Recently, they had lessons about being grateful. I incorporate those 'Islamic Studies' in our daily lives because I find that i don't really have time to do them 'lesson plan' wise.
What keeps worrying me about homeschooling is other people's evaluations. Are the kids up to par with kids in Islamic School? Are they up to par with kids in public schools? Are they up to par with homeschooled kids? Then I realized that my goal and purpose for homeschooling them is not to compare them with anyone. So what if they're not up to par? Do we really have a standard by which to measure if a person will be successful in life or not? My mother recently sent a letter to a newspaper in Malaysia, talking about how the society's expectations of goo grades have actually downplayed the seeking of knowledge itself. When I read her letter, I couldn't help nodding in agreement.
I homeschool them so they can grow up to be Muslims Allah will be pleased with insyaallah. It wouldn't hurt to have them know a lot about the deen, but no matter what we do, it is only ALlah who can bestow on us that knowledge. It doesn;t just come like that despite really hard and dilligent work, at least not in the right context. Sure, they need to know the worldly stuff too, but it is more important that they are firm in their deen, because,
They know only the outside appearance of the life of the world (i.e. the matters of their livelihood, like irrigating or sowing or reaping, etc.), and they are heedless of the Hereafter. Ar-Rum (30/7)
Thursday, May 11, 2006
A List of Alternatives
I was compelled to compile a list of Islamic tapes etc for our children's viewing/listening pleasure :
This is based on what I've noticed with my kids though (their reactions):
Adam's World Series
Salam and the Knights of Virtue
Salam's Journey
Salam and the Golden Queen
The Boy and the King
The Jar
Muslim Scouts Adventures 1
Muslim Scouts Adventures 2
Audio:
Lives of the Prophets
My kids love Muslim Scouts and Salam. The Boy and the King can be a little scary for younger kids though because there's sorcery and magic. This story is in Surah al Buruj, so quite an interesting hook to teaching the Quran to kids. My kids aren't really hooked to The Jar, I don't know why. As for Adam's World, this is more like a comfort show for them, because I used to put it on a lot when they were toddlers, so they kind of grew up with it. My two younger ones will still watch it even though they've watched it so many times. My oldest is done with it. She even sometimes get annoyed when her siblings put it on.
However, I've also noticed some good influence from these, especially Adam's World. Alhamdulillah.
I'm currently doing Life of Muhammad Makkan Period as our seerah lesson. Pretty interesting though of course I've had to modify the story telling so the kids can understand. Right now we're at the part where Abdul Mutallib discovering the lost well of Zamzam.
Our van is packed with cassettes of Anasheed and Anwar Awlaki's Lives of the Prophets. I told hubby that the only reason I would want a new van is so we can listen to the CDs we have at home. Insyaallah.
Whenever we go anywhere with the van, either the anasheed would go on or Anwar Awlaki's lectures. To my surprise, the kids were able to benefit from it, as could be seen when they began to ask questions or comment on the lecture. I thought that the lecture was too complex for them, but apparently, they were underestimated. The sunnah is to bring children to grown up gatherings of knowledge so they could benefit. I never really understood this because I couldn't imagine kids sitting quietly for the whole period of a halaqa or lecture.
However, I have had the experience of having my kids sit through a whole weekend seminar without, and I mean literally sit through it! Subhanallah! Maybe it was the barakah, because my kids are pretty active.
Nevertheless, I guess as parents we need to assess their moods before just lugging them to a lecture. So far though, I've had good results from the Anwar Awlaki lectures with the kids. S and N are even taking notes. Masyaallah.
Well, let's pray this lasts. Ameen.
This is based on what I've noticed with my kids though (their reactions):
Adam's World Series
Salam and the Knights of Virtue
Salam's Journey
Salam and the Golden Queen
The Boy and the King
The Jar
Muslim Scouts Adventures 1
Muslim Scouts Adventures 2
Audio:
Lives of the Prophets
My kids love Muslim Scouts and Salam. The Boy and the King can be a little scary for younger kids though because there's sorcery and magic. This story is in Surah al Buruj, so quite an interesting hook to teaching the Quran to kids. My kids aren't really hooked to The Jar, I don't know why. As for Adam's World, this is more like a comfort show for them, because I used to put it on a lot when they were toddlers, so they kind of grew up with it. My two younger ones will still watch it even though they've watched it so many times. My oldest is done with it. She even sometimes get annoyed when her siblings put it on.
However, I've also noticed some good influence from these, especially Adam's World. Alhamdulillah.
I'm currently doing Life of Muhammad Makkan Period as our seerah lesson. Pretty interesting though of course I've had to modify the story telling so the kids can understand. Right now we're at the part where Abdul Mutallib discovering the lost well of Zamzam.
Our van is packed with cassettes of Anasheed and Anwar Awlaki's Lives of the Prophets. I told hubby that the only reason I would want a new van is so we can listen to the CDs we have at home. Insyaallah.
Whenever we go anywhere with the van, either the anasheed would go on or Anwar Awlaki's lectures. To my surprise, the kids were able to benefit from it, as could be seen when they began to ask questions or comment on the lecture. I thought that the lecture was too complex for them, but apparently, they were underestimated. The sunnah is to bring children to grown up gatherings of knowledge so they could benefit. I never really understood this because I couldn't imagine kids sitting quietly for the whole period of a halaqa or lecture.
However, I have had the experience of having my kids sit through a whole weekend seminar without, and I mean literally sit through it! Subhanallah! Maybe it was the barakah, because my kids are pretty active.
Nevertheless, I guess as parents we need to assess their moods before just lugging them to a lecture. So far though, I've had good results from the Anwar Awlaki lectures with the kids. S and N are even taking notes. Masyaallah.
Well, let's pray this lasts. Ameen.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
The Question
Today I received a question which I have asked myself a lot of times.
"What type of cartoon/movies do you allow your children to view?"
Just before I logged in I was telling the kids I don't want them watching too much Disney movies anymore. I have been somewhat lax lately when they were checking out video tapes from the library.
Themes such as romantic love is a common one in Disney movies and even seemingly innocent cartoons such as Minarik's Little Bear. The kids were watching the Fox and The Hound when a scene depicting a developing romance between a fox and foxette came up. I immediately told the kids about the inappropriateness of the topic for them.
"So what can we watch?" asked H, who's always on my tail now.
"Magic School Bus," I said.
"That's bo-wwing," he retorted.
Funny that such a smart mind still speaks in baby tongue.
That set me off on the evils of movie makers in general. How important it is to protect our hearts, watching ourselves and making sure we don't get too comfortable in the world of the kuffar, and always remembering that Shaytaan is always at the grindstone 24/7 became the contents of my repertoire of verbal workout.
A lot of issues about parenting has been bugging me lately. The older they grow, the more worries fall from the sky onto my lap. I grew up reading Enid Blyton. I don't want the kids growing up reading too much kuffar materials, but since their reading level is sky high, I can no longer put these restrictions on them due to the lack of Islamic materials in the market. That is another issue altogether, which merits its own post, and the main reason why I plunged headlong into this writing endeavor.
Just today, after we listened to Anwar Awlaki's Life of Muhammad in Makkah, I told them to write a story of what they learned, while at the same time churning out my own. It was a total first draft, but I read it to them anyway.
Writing takes time. More Muslims need to master the art of writing in the English language as it's the universal language as of now. We need to churn out these books as fast as our kids devour those kuffar books with kuffar values on the shelves.
I'm tired. Yet this is the struggle I have been fated with. I have to take it by the reins as do other parents. Allah, bestow on us pious and righteous children to benefit us in the hereafter. Ameen.
"What type of cartoon/movies do you allow your children to view?"
Just before I logged in I was telling the kids I don't want them watching too much Disney movies anymore. I have been somewhat lax lately when they were checking out video tapes from the library.
Themes such as romantic love is a common one in Disney movies and even seemingly innocent cartoons such as Minarik's Little Bear. The kids were watching the Fox and The Hound when a scene depicting a developing romance between a fox and foxette came up. I immediately told the kids about the inappropriateness of the topic for them.
"So what can we watch?" asked H, who's always on my tail now.
"Magic School Bus," I said.
"That's bo-wwing," he retorted.
Funny that such a smart mind still speaks in baby tongue.
That set me off on the evils of movie makers in general. How important it is to protect our hearts, watching ourselves and making sure we don't get too comfortable in the world of the kuffar, and always remembering that Shaytaan is always at the grindstone 24/7 became the contents of my repertoire of verbal workout.
A lot of issues about parenting has been bugging me lately. The older they grow, the more worries fall from the sky onto my lap. I grew up reading Enid Blyton. I don't want the kids growing up reading too much kuffar materials, but since their reading level is sky high, I can no longer put these restrictions on them due to the lack of Islamic materials in the market. That is another issue altogether, which merits its own post, and the main reason why I plunged headlong into this writing endeavor.
Just today, after we listened to Anwar Awlaki's Life of Muhammad in Makkah, I told them to write a story of what they learned, while at the same time churning out my own. It was a total first draft, but I read it to them anyway.
Writing takes time. More Muslims need to master the art of writing in the English language as it's the universal language as of now. We need to churn out these books as fast as our kids devour those kuffar books with kuffar values on the shelves.
I'm tired. Yet this is the struggle I have been fated with. I have to take it by the reins as do other parents. Allah, bestow on us pious and righteous children to benefit us in the hereafter. Ameen.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
A Flurry of Activities
The sudden scare of having to go back to Malaysia sent me scrambling to make full use of our time here in the States.
"You'd better go and do all those stuff. Back here they have all those activities but they're very expensive," said my mother.
So off I went enrolling the kids in this and that so they can enrich their life experience. Last Saturday we attended the free workshop at Home Depot. Hands-on activity : building a picket fence planter was the project. The kids were given sets of pre cut and sanded wood pieces, nails, screws and hammers. We helped them put the pieces together and voila, we went off with three planters and flower pots which they later painted at home. Now I have those flowers sitting on our air conditioner outside. I think that was a good activity.
Then we went to the local Islamic School's open house. I managed to glean their activities, reading materials during the tour. I also found out about the Voucher Program, which is quite interesting. I don't know if I want to look into it. I might.
This week I have to call Lowe's and ask about their free workshop this Saturday. Then June 23 through August is the free tennis program for kids aged 6-8 at the Whetstone Library. I'm also sure the libraries will be teeming with reading programs. S won the sweepstakes last year, and we got to go to Cedar Points for free.
With that, and the projects I'm undertaking in Columbus Dawah, I'm more than busy. There's also Camp Cosi which we're applying for financial aid now. Summer is the busiest season in the year. I wonder how I'll be able to cope handling that, the projects, my writing and whatever else I'm taking up. Subhanallah! I must be out of my mind!
"You'd better go and do all those stuff. Back here they have all those activities but they're very expensive," said my mother.
So off I went enrolling the kids in this and that so they can enrich their life experience. Last Saturday we attended the free workshop at Home Depot. Hands-on activity : building a picket fence planter was the project. The kids were given sets of pre cut and sanded wood pieces, nails, screws and hammers. We helped them put the pieces together and voila, we went off with three planters and flower pots which they later painted at home. Now I have those flowers sitting on our air conditioner outside. I think that was a good activity.
Then we went to the local Islamic School's open house. I managed to glean their activities, reading materials during the tour. I also found out about the Voucher Program, which is quite interesting. I don't know if I want to look into it. I might.
This week I have to call Lowe's and ask about their free workshop this Saturday. Then June 23 through August is the free tennis program for kids aged 6-8 at the Whetstone Library. I'm also sure the libraries will be teeming with reading programs. S won the sweepstakes last year, and we got to go to Cedar Points for free.
With that, and the projects I'm undertaking in Columbus Dawah, I'm more than busy. There's also Camp Cosi which we're applying for financial aid now. Summer is the busiest season in the year. I wonder how I'll be able to cope handling that, the projects, my writing and whatever else I'm taking up. Subhanallah! I must be out of my mind!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Catching up
Finally S finished Surah Al-Baqarah. All this time, every time after she finished reciting, we would go over the meaning, except for some cases where I 'gave myself a break'. It occurred to me to make a lesson out of it once we reached the end of the surah.
So I reviewed the stories, commands in Surah Al-Baqarah. I think I should also make a quiz out of it. We're in Al-Imran now and we had a ball with 'mutashaabihaat' and 'muhkamaat'.
I'm really swamped with things to write and read. I no longer have time to write on this blog, at least not as often as I used to. I can't believe I'm heaping things up on myself.
As for the kids, we have had to repeatedly tell them "Kids! That's enough. No more reading!" All three of them. As usual, we've been checking out books from the library like there's no tomorrow and each time the kids would breeze through the books and ask to go to the library again. What actually amazes me is the fact that N, who used to not like reading that much, is now a reader. One of those who's oblivious to her surroundings and noises while she's reading . I'm really impressed.
S even goes up to her room to read while H and N stay downstairs watching TV. I'll need to read YA books soon, just so I know what kin of stuff she's reading. Yesterday I was reading my 'reading heap' and came across YA fiction. It was then that I realized that I probably never read YA fiction when I was a teenager. Instead, I jumped from elementary to adult fiction.
Judith McNaught, Julie Garland, Sandra Brown. I knew them by the time I was 14. Everybody was readu them back then. I remember my frequent trips to Central Market, just to buy used books. Even when we went to Lake Club's library, I never borrowed YA material. I went ahead to the adult section. Just makes me realize that we probably didn't have that much stuff on YA in English. Or maybe we did but I just didn't know, and my parents didn't know either.
Well, my eldest daughter is turning 9 this year insyaallah and my youngest is going to turn 7 insyaallah. I'm turning 30 insyaallah. Life does go by so fast. It is imperative that we enjoy it while we can for we do not know what will come tomorrow. In all my busyness, I should take heed of my own advice.
So I reviewed the stories, commands in Surah Al-Baqarah. I think I should also make a quiz out of it. We're in Al-Imran now and we had a ball with 'mutashaabihaat' and 'muhkamaat'.
I'm really swamped with things to write and read. I no longer have time to write on this blog, at least not as often as I used to. I can't believe I'm heaping things up on myself.
As for the kids, we have had to repeatedly tell them "Kids! That's enough. No more reading!" All three of them. As usual, we've been checking out books from the library like there's no tomorrow and each time the kids would breeze through the books and ask to go to the library again. What actually amazes me is the fact that N, who used to not like reading that much, is now a reader. One of those who's oblivious to her surroundings and noises while she's reading . I'm really impressed.
S even goes up to her room to read while H and N stay downstairs watching TV. I'll need to read YA books soon, just so I know what kin of stuff she's reading. Yesterday I was reading my 'reading heap' and came across YA fiction. It was then that I realized that I probably never read YA fiction when I was a teenager. Instead, I jumped from elementary to adult fiction.
Judith McNaught, Julie Garland, Sandra Brown. I knew them by the time I was 14. Everybody was readu them back then. I remember my frequent trips to Central Market, just to buy used books. Even when we went to Lake Club's library, I never borrowed YA material. I went ahead to the adult section. Just makes me realize that we probably didn't have that much stuff on YA in English. Or maybe we did but I just didn't know, and my parents didn't know either.
Well, my eldest daughter is turning 9 this year insyaallah and my youngest is going to turn 7 insyaallah. I'm turning 30 insyaallah. Life does go by so fast. It is imperative that we enjoy it while we can for we do not know what will come tomorrow. In all my busyness, I should take heed of my own advice.
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