It's Not Fair!

S was working on her poetry. I'm finding that I actually like the K12 writing lesson plan for third graders. They laid it out in such an organized and easy way to follow. Lesson by lesson, they build up the child's ability to master the skill.

She first did writing in general, then a report, and now poetry. So far it seems as if she's really getting the hang of it, and having fun too. When we started the lesson, she already came up with two of her own poems, which I think are pretty good. Then today, she came up with a rhyming one, to whic I exclaimed,

"MASYAALLAH! This is really good!"

I probably made it into such a big deal that S was actually smiling coyly, while N and H's curiosities grew. As usual, S prevented her siblings from reading her writing. She has done this countless times, and at times she wouldn't let me read her writings. Hubby did say S was like him: secretive. I silently felt dread when he said that, because having a secretive child is a challenge in itself.

"You ALWAYS want to keep it PRIVATE!" N suddenly screamed.

N is not prone to yelling or screaming when angry. When she does, you are brought to attention. And when she does scream or yell, tears usually follow.

For a moment, I sat there open-mouthed, not knowing what to do or how to handle the situation. One child has an overwhelming need to protect her personal writing. The other has an overwhelming need to share things with her sister. I said the obvious in the end.

"N, S has a right to keep things private. It's hers. We can't force her to share if she doesn't want to."

"But it's not fair!" N retorted, sparkling crystal tears hanging precariously off her lashes.

It didn't do the trick. N was still feeling left out, while S was feeling secretive. I was feeling lost.

Suddenly I remembered the age old rule of thumb.

"But it's good that you expressed how you feel. It's healthy."

"It's healthy?" S asked, obviously puzzled.

"Yes, you need to express your feelings. It's not healthy to have it bottled up. So now you know how N feels about you keeping your writing a secret all the time," I explained.

"Oh," said S.

Suddenly, N got off her chair, tears still making their way gracefully down her smooth, chubby cheeks, and hugged a surprised S, witnessed by a more surprised me.

Well, I guess I indirectly opened the hatch of a dam of emotions. N is such a sentimental and sensitive girl. S is sensitive in her own way, but more withdrawn, just like most firstborns are. H, well, H is a typical boy, whatever that means.

I learned a lesson today, and I'm still reeling from the sheer depth of the simple statement I made.

At any rate, S did say that people can only read her writings when they're on the computer. I don't know how that would make it different, but I suppose girls are girls. So while I sit here documenting this 'momentous' discovery of the depth of human emotions, my eldest daughter is sitting at the computer downstairs, typing in her poems for all to read. I even told her that N can illustrate for her. I don't know if she's going to take it up, but it would be nice to see sisters working together to produce maybe our own anthology of poems.