Pizza! Pizza! Bellisimo!

This morning, after Fajr, N memorized a new du'a.

"I want a short one," she said, so I looked for a short one, and found them:

What to say when something pleases you,

Al7amdulillahi lathzee bi ni'matihi tatimmu assaali7aat

and what to say when something displeases you,

Al7amdulillah 'alaa kulli 7haal
As review, I presented scenarios to her, (made up ones) and she would respond appropriately.

"What if you get money?

"What if .."

"I have to feed Z," she intercepted (as something that would displease her)

At one point I said to her,

"What if suddenly you get pizza?"

And somehow later on during the day, H told me that hubby said he is going to eat pizza at the Midwest Games, and H added,

"Can we go?"

That's how much pizza we don't get to eat at home. So I told him that we can make our own, dough and everything.

We all took our naps after Zuhr, and I happened to fall asleep later than that because Baby Z was not that sleepy, and romped about the bed while I shielded myself with a pillow. So when the kids woke up, I was still sleeping. When my eyes fluttered open, I thought to myself,

"What is this smell, it's like something's in the oven. They can't be making pizza. They don't have the recipe. I'm too sleepy, I'll just tell them to make it some other time. We don't even know if we have pizza sauce,"

and I went back to sleep, the smell of 'something in the oven' still lingering in the house.

When I did wake up for good, N came in the room and told me that they had made pizza and even eaten it for dinner.

"All of it? Where'd you get the recipe? The cheese? Who grated it? Did you find Pizza sauce? You already ate it? You made it all on your own?"

Suffice it to say I was in complete disbelief. When I went downstairs, there was the pizza, half eaten, and looking perfect! Mashaallah!


Apparently, they had googled the recipe from the Internet, and forgoed mine. They grated the cheese themselves, found the pizza sauce in the can, made the dough, shaped it, lathered the sauce and topped it, baked it, ate it, all without burning the house down! Alhamdulillah!

N said, that H said,

"Ummi didn't even have to check if we're burning the house down!"

The impressive thing is, they even cleaned up after themselves, and did the dishes!

What a pity I can't take a bite, due to Baby Z's wheat and dairy allergy. But otherwise, I commended their work, very well done, mashaallah! It reminds me of my lovely sister-rellas cleaning my house from top to bottom while I was napping during my pregnancy with Baby Z. When I woke up, the sister-rellas were all gone, and all I got was a love note from them. Ahhh...such lovely sisters! I will never forget that.

So now...I have to be careful what I tell the kids they can make. I might be in for another surprise, provided they don't burn the house down.

Al7amdulillahi lathzee bini'matihi tatimmu as saali7aat.

Miscellaneous

Alhamdulillah life post OHVA is lighter and freer. Almost every morning now, if the sun is out and shining, I send the kids outside, and tell them to take Baby Z along. No, I don't get to really sit down and have coffee and read the morning newspaper, but I can now tidy up the house, take a shower and sit down at the computer in an empty household. However, I have started telling them to make sure the house is tidy before they dash outside to frolic in the morning sun. It's very frustrating to be doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast and walk into a messy living room or rooms, and no one to hail to do my bidding. As I struggle to complete writing my article assignments, I also struggle finding time to sit down long enough without being interrupted by a baby needing to nurse, a baby dropped in the living room as his sibs return back outside to continue their outdoor play, and a set of rowdy children banging the door behind them as they barrel in the front door.

Not so much freedom for me, but alhamdulillah baby Z's eczema seems to have abated significantly ever since his nap schedule became regular.

Since I wasn't that busy logging in hours, attendance, checking lesson progress, and dealing with a myriad of issues pertaining to the OLS of OHVA, I've been able to actually nurse Baby Z in peace, albeit it being an hour straight at a time. We're all much much happier now, and I've even started to take interest in baking again.

I coaxed them to bake something for themselves, and one day they made meringue cookies. Yesterday they made cookies to make ice cream sandwiches with. As for me, I baked myself my Namaste Carrot Cake again, but this time using Ener-G egg replacer, hoping for a normal cake. Alas, I seem to have taken the cake out too soon, and all I got was a gummy, spice-laden carrot cale. At least, I think that's the problem. Nevertheless, I'm only more determined to experiment until I get it right. So I'm inshaallah going to play around with cake recipes or if I'm lucky, after doing more reading on the chemistry revolving different kinds of flours, I might come up with my own recipe.

H had his last soccer game of the season this morning. He scored a goal, and the weather was really pleasant too, allahu akbar. I had boiled some corn for them this morning and we brought the whole pot with us. As usual, hubby stood on the sidelines and churned out shouts after shouts of encouragement, commands, comments, and amused disappointment throughout the whole game. S was busy chomping on a corn, and calmly, she asked her father,

"Wanna a corn?"

"No, not now. I'm shouting," he replied, not taking his eyes off the players on the field.

"That's why he needs the corn," S said to me, and I burst into laughter.

We finally bought gates to put at the kids' doorway, the kitchen hallway, and the front door hallway today. The house hasn't been child-proofed for Baby Z, as I anticipated moving out, but it's not happening anytime soon it seems. Handy S and H set up the gates, much to their parents' pleasure, especially hubby's. He wasn't that enthusiastic about putting them up, but alhamdulillah we have some handykids around. Proud of their handiness they are too!

As for me, I am still buried under the task of reading my high stack of books, and have yet to finish my writing assignments, which has been driving me crazy to say the least. I just realized that I have only spent Ramadan in Malaysia in my 'childhood', since I came here at the age of 20 and have spent Ramadan here ever since. I have never experienced Ramadan as a wife and mother in my home country. How sad is that? Nevertheless, it sure has some perks too, alhamdulillah.

And alhamdulillah, my lengthy nursing times in the room have been spent listening to Anwar Awlaki's Umar Ibn A-Khattab, and suffice it to say, it has infused me in this ethereal world of the sahaba. Even Baby Z looks forward to the lecture whenever it's time to nurse for his naps and bedtimes. Life with Baby Z is much much more enjoyable now, especially because I'm finally able to relax into a schedule that is more like the one I'm used to when S, N, and H were younger.

Without the pressure and hassle of OHVA, life seems much more relaxing. Plus, the weather is still spring-like, though the flowers on the trees have mostly dispersed, leaving the trees green, making it look more like summer.

Inshaallah it seems like I'm taking the next Almaghrib class: Seerah, the Shepherd's Path in mid June, even though I said I probably won't. Circumstances inshaallah have changed such that it would be quite possible for us to do it with less hassle than before, bi iznillah. I look forward to this class.
So now, before I feel like I have wasted my time yet again on the computer, while two writing assignments are yet to be finished, I'd better sign off, and wait till much later before I finish up those 4 drafts sitting in my blogger account. Plus, I have a one year old who is starting to wail because he is probably bored because all his sibs have left him with his mother who is on the computer typing away, and hubby, as he does every Saturday evening, has gone off to play soccer. A mother never gets to completely rest, does she? In Jannah inshaallah, in jannah.

My First Gluten Free Cake

I dread going grocery shopping now, because, due to Baby Z's allergies, I have to stay away from anything that has wheat, soy, egg whites, peanuts, dairy, citrus, peas, beans, seafood, and chocolate. The citrus, beans, peas, seafood, and chocolate are just precautions on my side, as advised by a friend whose daughter also has multiple allergies. At least until his immune system matures, it is wise for me to stay away from these food, so he can outgrow the allergies sooner biiznillah.

I realized that I'm fine at home, but it's when we go grocery shopping that it hits me. I can't eat ice cream. I can't have chocolate. I can't have cookies. I can't have cakes. Snacks are limited for me. The chips are my only snacks, and fruits of course. I had lost weight after I started on this elimination diet, and in a way, it's a healthy way of living, because I no longer eat junk food. However, I do crave ice cream and chocolate once in a while, especially when three tubs of Breyers Ice Cream are sitting in the freezer!

So yesterday, we went to Wild Oats as usual, after the kids went swimming. H had a soccer game at 9:30 a.m., and then we went home to get them in their swimming attires, and headed for RPAC. On the way back, we stopped by Wild Oats, and as usual, I was on the lookout for any gluten-free products, and lo and behold, I stumbled upon this baking mix that is gluten, dairy, soy, nuts, casein, and potato free. Better yet, it even was produced in a facility that contains NO wheat,soy, milk, nuts and potato products. I am always irked by disclaimers stating,

"This product was produced in a facility that processes wheat, nuts, soy and eggs,"

on products that are gluten free, or soy free. I had once bought an ice cream that contained nothing Baby Z was allergic to except soy, and he broke out in hives and had a flare up of eczema all over his body. Today, S helped me make the Carrot Cake from this Namaste baking mix, and so far, Baby Z is tolerating it. As for moi,I get to finally eat cake! Alhamdulillah!

Summer of '04

I just realized that this blog began in 2005, and as I was looking through our photos in our folders on the computer, I was swept into nostalgic moments. In 2004, the kids were age 7, 6, and 4, and I was pregnant with J.

J was due in December of '04. The kids were excited at the prospect of getting a baby brother or sister, that after my first ultrasound, they prattled on about the 'baby' in the picture. It had been 4 years since I had been pregnant, and the pregnancy was a little hard on me compared to the first three. That summer, I was about 5 months pregnant.

We had gone to Michigan to buy Islamic books at NoorArt's old warehouse, and on the way back, we stopped by a shopping outlet and bought some baby clothes for J. I did a lot that summer. We did a lot. Even though my baking spree was less than when we were in Iowa, I still did some baking. In fact, compared to now, my baking then was much much more than my baking now. I found the occasion to make a carousel cake for the family, but instead of horses, I made bicycles, one for each of them; hubby, S, N, and H. It took maybe about a week or so to make everything from the carousel top, bicycles, cakes, and the planning.

As usual, the kids attended summer school at the masjid, and looking at the pictures, I recall this year as quite a tough one for S. She had to memorize surahs and ahadith back to back, and her teacher made her write it down in the process of memorization. She really worked hard that summer though, and I was very impressed with her arabic handwriting. Even to this day, her arabic handwriting is much much much better than her English handwriting (yes, emphasis on the comparison). Her English handwriting suffice it to say, receives a lot of 'comments' from me. And H seems to follow suit. N, on the other hand, actually flourishes in both Arabic and English handwriting, but then again, this girl also draws rather extensively on her worksheets. I can't help being amused by the drawings of hands with index finger pointing to the answer she provided on her worksheets. I told her,

"I don't really mind you doing that with me, but if you are to send your work to a teacher, don't do that."

She nodded, with a pleased smile, for, in trying to get her used to providing me with a 'clean' worksheet, I reprimanded all her doodlings. After a while, I realized that it's not that big a deal, as long as she knows not to do it when it matters.

It was also the summer where I discovered a very simple cake from an Egyptian friend who had invited us over to her house. When she served us the cake, I asked her what it's called, but she didn't provide me with a name, but told me how it's made.

I later on tried to make it myself, and together, with the kids, we named it Biscake. Looking back, I think I have been letting them name food creations since they were very young. Recently, we've had dishes named Spicetti (fried spaghetti with a lot of spice), Spaguna (fried spaghetti with tuna), and my favorite one, Cheesy-Yum (baked spaghetti with cheese on top). The cake above was named Biscake because it was made from tea biscuits, but had the texture of cake when done. Since it required no baking, I taught them to make it themselves. The only thing that hinders us from having too much of it is the amount of fat it harbors, and the price of the table cream used to make it. Now that S knows how to bake without supervision, ironically, we have had even less baking in the house. I think she doesn't feel compelled to do it because I'm not there such that she has to take on the role of 'mother'. I guess I can't really blame her for that, for I understand the 'burden' of cleaning up after a baking and cake decorating session. Even my mother, who once had a home bakery that took wedding cake orders quit production due to the toll it was taking on her.

I had made a backpack for S, and that summer, I made one for N too, since she started going to summer school with S. When it came to H's turn, I was too spent to make a backpack for him. However, over the years, we have managed to collect free bags of many kinds from Summer Reading Programs, events, and most recently, the Texas Dawah Conference.

The summer came to an end with J's demise in August. In fact, that was what prompted me to rekindle my love for writing, as it was truly therapeutic for me. Supposed to be born in December, J returned to His Creator sometime in my 5th - 6th month of pregnancy. The second ultrasound showed no heartbeat, and as both hubby and I wept, the kids shrank back in their seats, probably shocked and confused over what had taken place. Only S, I think truly understood. On the day of J's burial, I told them of the whereabouts of their dead brother, with Prophet Ibrahim. It was a summer with a lesson; a lesson in embracing death as a fact of life, and I feel grateful for that experience, as it has probably left a significant impact on the kids' perception of the afterlife.

Appeasing Ummi

"Uh oh! It's open," S announced, as she closed the oven door after peeking in at the baking Fatayer.

"Ugh...I knew that would happen," I said.

I hate making Karipap, because for some reason, my fingers are stiff when it comes to anything that requires encasing filling and pinching the seams closed. I've had karipaps that open up while being deep fried, and boiling water turning brown from the leaking palm sugar filling inside poorly seamed onde-onde. However, that didn't prevent me from trying to make this Fatayer, even when I knew there would be filling and seaming involved.

While I was spooning the spinach filling in the circle of dough, H rolled out the other ball of dough for us to cut more circles out of.

Making the Fatayer had become a family affair. All cooking nowadays have become a family affair as there was always someone needed to tend to the crying Baby Z if it happens to be at the time I am in the kitchen. Sometimes, I would just direct S verbally while I sat on the couch nursing Baby Z. And don't you know it, Baby Z is a relaxed nurser; he sure does take his own sweet time.

"Ooh you can see the inside. It's gonna open up in the oven, I just know it!" I muttered, exasperated.

"Oh, I've seen some at the masjid that are open a little bit," said H.

"Really?"

H nodded, assuring me that I was doing just fine. That made me feel slightly better.

If the ones sold at the masjid have that flaw too then mine are not so bad, I thought.

"Oh..I hope they don't burn in the oven," I said, announcing another worry.

"Oh I've seen black ones at the masjid," H said.

"Really?" I asked again, disbelieving, but feeling better by the minute.

"Yeah, some are really black!" he chuckled.

As the oven door banged shut after S's announcement of the opene-up Fatayer in the oven, H again made a remark,

"I've never seen anything like that at the masjid."

Counting on them

I ran downstairs, but slowed down when I heard H reciting surah Al Qiyaamah. As I peered through the diagonal chicken-wire-like metal screen of our built-in bookshelf, I saw H in his brown thawb standing in front while S and N stood in saff behind him. They were praying Maghrib. I tiptoed back upstairs.

Mashaallah, they had prayed maghrib on time, on their own, no prompting from me, and most surprisingly, while I was tending to Baby Z in the most (supposedly) hectic day this weekend.

Tonight of all nights, I am totally dependent on the kids. And alhamdulillah they didn't disappoint me.

As I struggled to hear Sheikh Yaser on the YM phone and see him on the webcam, the kids tended to Baby Z.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, the first weekend of Code of Scholars in Columbus. I strained to pay attention to Sheikh Yaser at home, distracted by a growling stomach. Baby Z's pediatrician had put me on a new diet - no dairy, peanuts and soy. It's becoming a hardship for me, because as I have come to realize, soy is EVERYWHERE!

We did grocery shopping on Friday, and I walked the aisles in Kroger somberly. I wish I hadn't. The packets of bread, and four tubs of Breyers ice cream in the freezer seemed to taunt me, screaming,

"Ha! you can't eat me! You can't eat me!"

I decided to make my own bread. I had bought orange marmalade for myself, since I won't be able to eat butter, but there were no bread to eat it on! So today, I proceeded without delay to have S assist me in making my bread. She ended up doing the whole thing with verbal instructions from me as I parked myself on the couch nursing Baby Z. I browsed through my Joy of Cooking for recipes that contained no milk. I also decided to avoid egg whites, so we substituted egg yolks for the whole eggs. As I ordered S to do that, I thought to myself,

"In the course of trying to figure out if Baby Z has food allergy, I might be sending myself on a 'high cholesterol' ride."

I'm not kidding when I said it's becoming a hardship.

Oh Allah! please not make it a food allergy and cure Baby Z of this affliction, for only You have the power to cure and take away any afflictions.

While waiting for the bread dough to rise, I went ahead and made cekodok. I couldn't stand it. I had to eat something else! I had gobbled up the cantaloupe, bananas, grapes, and I had been scouring my kitchen pantry for things I could eat, but as I read the ingredient labels, soy seemed to crop up on all of them.

When I realized the extent to which I would have to change the way I eat, with the elimination of soy, I was crest fallen. It's like telling an Asian that she can no longer eat rice.

It was only when I scrutinized the ingredients in the vegetable spray when making chicken that I realized that it was soybean oil. So I told the kids,

"You guys get to eat this bread. I can't eat it."

It had grown twice its size. I love making bread. It's so rewarding. My mother calls her breads "My babies."

So when they ate the bread tonight, I repeatedly told S,

"Tomorrow you make another one for me, okay?"

Alhamdulillah, mashaallah, that girl is really my right hand girl. Though she does complain that she does a lot around the house, and I do feel sorry for her, but with a family of multiple children, it's almost impossible to not overwork the older children. She now gives Baby Z his baths too along with changing his diaper, and feeding him rice porridge (which she really wants to do anyway).

Today, I decided to physically attend Code of Scholars, because listening from home is just not the same thing. So while hubby and I sat in class, the kids watched Baby Z. I totally counted on S's wisdom and maturity. Alhamdulillah it worked out well, except for S saying,

"I want to play too."

Am I robbing her of her childhood? I hope not, especially when N is one kind of 'bundle of joy' to handle. At least H has his serious contemplative moments. Well, N has her compassionate moments. Ahh...ten years, and I'm still figuring out my children's personalities and individualities. How clueless can you be?

But yeah, tomorrow inshaallah, S is making me another Challah.

Cookie Biscotti

The cookie baking craze afflicted us a few weeks ago. My baking mood has struck again, yet I find it quite difficult to bake while also tending to a nursing baby. So, I delegated all tasks to S, who alhamdulillah turned out to be quite adept at.

At first I wanted to bake with the kids, but it ended up as 'S baking by herself'. To top it off, it wasn't a simple cookie, but a biscotti, which is a tad more complex than a simple cookie. Nevertheless, when I told them we would be trying out cookie recipes from Land O Lakes, they chose the Vanilla and Chocolate Biscotti.

As I nursed Baby Z, S set about to measure out the ingredients. I thought I was going to join her but Baby Z wouldn't let me. She had trouble making the dough into a log. I had to help her with that at first, and her division of the chocolate and vanilla batter was not even, but it turned out very pretty anyway alhamdulilllah.

When she was done, N came, and brought her Cookie, and together they choreographed the photoshoot. The cat is appropriately named Cookie. Trust these kids to position Cookie in these poses!

A Piece of Cake!

S attended a cake decorating class every Tuesday for 6 weeks. For the last week, the teacher said she was supposed to bring a frosted cake to class and that they were going to decorate it with a Valentine theme.
S had told me, "We can make the cake on Sunday."

"Good idea," said hubby.

However, that weekend, she forgot to remind me and as for me, of course I don't remember. So came Tuesday, we had to do it last minute as I was busy trying to finish off the lessons for the day. When we did start baking, it was too late. She baked the cake herself mostly. The frosting didn't turn out good either. I made two batches and both ended up in the trash. It was a frustrating and tiring day for me and poor S, I finally told her,

"You're not going to the class since your cake is not even done yet."

She complied with no complaints. However, it was probably due to my snappy nature that day.

As I got over the frustration, I thought,

The wisdom behind it is, they were going to decorate the cake with a Valentine theme anyway.

When S told me they were going to do that, we knew what she was supposed to do: decorate it anyway she liked, but not with a Valentine theme. One thing I notice about S is, despite her being so quiet around other people, when it comes to the deen, she does speak up. Alhamdulillah. In her writing class, the teacher said that everyone will do something with a Christmas theme. S went up to the teacher and told her she doesn't celebrate Christmas. This coming from a girl who wouldn't speak otherwise.

So she didn't go to the class and it was the last class too. Nevertheless, I told her that the next day she and her siblings can decorate the cake on their own. That they did, and what a great job they did too, masyaallah! I was actually surprised how well S wrote with frosting (because from experience I know it takes quite a while to master) and even N and H wrote their own names on the cake. For first timers, they did pretty good, even better than some adults in fact. Alhamdulilah.

So, have a slice o' cake, will you?

AlMaghrib Love

My baking streak has struck again, and this time for a pretty big cause or should I say event. S, as expected, jumped at the opportunity to aid me, so she could get her hands on the baking and decorating. Her helped proved to be very valuable, for in my condition, making customized 200 AlMaghrib cupcakes could have proven to be hazardous.

Alhamdulillah, I realize that I can now rely on my 9 year-old, as I sat wearily on the chair in the kitchen, spouting off recipe instructions to her as she added the wet ingredients alternately with the dry ingredients. As for N and H, they were more of a bother, as N tended to stick her finger in almost everything despite clear prohibitions, and H kept inciting annoyed comments from S. I shooed those two out of the kitchen, leaving only S to help me.

I started baking the cuppies on Friday. We continued on Saturday, after going all the way to the cake supply store to find boxes big enough to transport 200 cupcakes in. for those 3 days, I worried about the cupcakes dancing and jiggling in the boxes, and ending up as purple frosting splotched over a messy array or toppled cupcakes. S and N had fun going to the cake supply store with me as we sought boxes and looked through the cake toppers and cookie cutters. That place would be my next favorite place after the library.

It was then that I thought of making the AlMaghrib logo on a flag. Saturday night, I frantically handwrote 101 AlMaghrib logo on those blue and pink flags which I then taped to toothpicks. Courtesy to Abi and S earlier during the day, those flags were measured and cut to the same size; 200 of them. As hubby shook his head at my craziness and willingness to torture myself by making the AlMaghrib logo by hand, I kept at the task, half thinking I shouldn't waste S's effort in cutting the flag pieces earlier in the day.

She also lined the big boxes for me. N helped and did quite a great job lining the bottom of the box with aluminum foil. S then helped me stick the cupcakes in the box in a very neat arrangement. She even skipped the outing to the recreational center Saturday morning, just so she could help me. N and H went and had a blast rock climbing. I see a baker and cake decorator in S. They were also my harshest critique in getting the purple just right for the frosting. Initially I didn't listen to them, but I soon saw that their sense of color was better than mine, so I obeyed their command to "add more purple, Ummi!"


My daughter and I worked as a team, and produced 200 AlMaghrib-themed cupcakes for the AlMaghrib Sisters' Promo on Nov 12. Alhamdulillah, the cupcakes behaved themselves and stayed still all the way from our home to the event location. Jazakum Allah khair, hubby, S, N & even H.

All By Herself

My firstborn baked cookies ALL by herself yesterday! I had lapsed into re researching homeschooling and relized that it' not all about academics, but also about attaining skills based on each child's interests.

I had also asked each of them how they learn best.

N: listening

S: visual and hands on

H: visual and hands on


For summer, H asked for an active endeavor. Since all the other sports have fees, I told him tennis, because it's free. He's so enthusiastic about it that he reminded me about it when I had already forgotten about it. When I asked who wanted to play tennis, only he and N raised their hands. I wondered why S didn't want to when she has a natural athletic ability. I then asked her,

"Do you want to take the cake decorating class again?"

She nodded emphatically.

Bingo! This girl is into domestic stuff. The only difference between me and her is athletic ability. So yesterday I told her she can bake cookies. She understood enough that it meant, her doing it alone, all by herself.

I told them to choose a recipe, let me look at the ingredients for approval. After they did, S set to work and measured out all the ingredients by herself. Of course, she already knew how to level off the dry ingredients when measuring them after watching me countless times. So I din't have to do much coaching, much to my surprise.

I cooked dinner while S and N make their cookies, N with a lot of singing and chirping, while S seriously concentrating on her tasks. I only had to aid her in clipping on the paddle whip on the Kitchen Aid and assuring her that her sugar-butter-egg mixture looked fine.

"But it looks wrong," she said.

"No, it's fine," I said, and left her to it to attend to my beef, kofta and 'masjid masjid rice'. H had complained that he prefers masjid masjid rice as compared to masjid rice, which was actually just a concoction I made up when whipping up the Basmati rice. So I made the proper 'masjid rice' which has now become 'masjid masjid rice'.

S put the cookie sheets in the oven herself, took it out herself and I had to help her take the cookies of the sheet, but that's about it. They cleaned up themselves and I simply washed the dirty dishes.

To top it off, the cookies are "the best I've ever tasted!" Seriously, they chose a perfect recipe. I myself don't like to bake cookies just because I have to sit in front of the oven as compared to baking cakes. I had never tasted a cookie like that. For someone who loves chocolate, the cookies are just heavenly.

I went to bed last night thinking, "My little girl baked her own cookied all by herself!"