Counting on them

I ran downstairs, but slowed down when I heard H reciting surah Al Qiyaamah. As I peered through the diagonal chicken-wire-like metal screen of our built-in bookshelf, I saw H in his brown thawb standing in front while S and N stood in saff behind him. They were praying Maghrib. I tiptoed back upstairs.

Mashaallah, they had prayed maghrib on time, on their own, no prompting from me, and most surprisingly, while I was tending to Baby Z in the most (supposedly) hectic day this weekend.

Tonight of all nights, I am totally dependent on the kids. And alhamdulillah they didn't disappoint me.

As I struggled to hear Sheikh Yaser on the YM phone and see him on the webcam, the kids tended to Baby Z.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, the first weekend of Code of Scholars in Columbus. I strained to pay attention to Sheikh Yaser at home, distracted by a growling stomach. Baby Z's pediatrician had put me on a new diet - no dairy, peanuts and soy. It's becoming a hardship for me, because as I have come to realize, soy is EVERYWHERE!

We did grocery shopping on Friday, and I walked the aisles in Kroger somberly. I wish I hadn't. The packets of bread, and four tubs of Breyers ice cream in the freezer seemed to taunt me, screaming,

"Ha! you can't eat me! You can't eat me!"

I decided to make my own bread. I had bought orange marmalade for myself, since I won't be able to eat butter, but there were no bread to eat it on! So today, I proceeded without delay to have S assist me in making my bread. She ended up doing the whole thing with verbal instructions from me as I parked myself on the couch nursing Baby Z. I browsed through my Joy of Cooking for recipes that contained no milk. I also decided to avoid egg whites, so we substituted egg yolks for the whole eggs. As I ordered S to do that, I thought to myself,

"In the course of trying to figure out if Baby Z has food allergy, I might be sending myself on a 'high cholesterol' ride."

I'm not kidding when I said it's becoming a hardship.

Oh Allah! please not make it a food allergy and cure Baby Z of this affliction, for only You have the power to cure and take away any afflictions.

While waiting for the bread dough to rise, I went ahead and made cekodok. I couldn't stand it. I had to eat something else! I had gobbled up the cantaloupe, bananas, grapes, and I had been scouring my kitchen pantry for things I could eat, but as I read the ingredient labels, soy seemed to crop up on all of them.

When I realized the extent to which I would have to change the way I eat, with the elimination of soy, I was crest fallen. It's like telling an Asian that she can no longer eat rice.

It was only when I scrutinized the ingredients in the vegetable spray when making chicken that I realized that it was soybean oil. So I told the kids,

"You guys get to eat this bread. I can't eat it."

It had grown twice its size. I love making bread. It's so rewarding. My mother calls her breads "My babies."

So when they ate the bread tonight, I repeatedly told S,

"Tomorrow you make another one for me, okay?"

Alhamdulillah, mashaallah, that girl is really my right hand girl. Though she does complain that she does a lot around the house, and I do feel sorry for her, but with a family of multiple children, it's almost impossible to not overwork the older children. She now gives Baby Z his baths too along with changing his diaper, and feeding him rice porridge (which she really wants to do anyway).

Today, I decided to physically attend Code of Scholars, because listening from home is just not the same thing. So while hubby and I sat in class, the kids watched Baby Z. I totally counted on S's wisdom and maturity. Alhamdulillah it worked out well, except for S saying,

"I want to play too."

Am I robbing her of her childhood? I hope not, especially when N is one kind of 'bundle of joy' to handle. At least H has his serious contemplative moments. Well, N has her compassionate moments. Ahh...ten years, and I'm still figuring out my children's personalities and individualities. How clueless can you be?

But yeah, tomorrow inshaallah, S is making me another Challah.