A Seerah Weekend

Last weekend was the first weekend of Seerah. On Friday, we headed to Kottman Hall around 6:45 pm. H had expressed interest in taking the class, but we didn't enroll him. I urged him to come in during Free Friday.

Throughout the weekend though, I urged him to sit outside and listen in and come in and sit by me to listen. He managed to, and so did the girls, at some point. The rest of the time, they were playing outside in the hallway and in the garden.

The class mashaallah was amazing. I'm so glad I decided to take it in the end. It provided an eman boost and a LOT to reflect on. It's Seerah, but Sheikh Abdulbary connected it to our current life here in the West and related it to our situations. That makes it full of gems to take home, alhamdulillah.

As is usual after any AlMaghrib classes I take, the kids clamor and ask me,

"Tell us stories!"

I was exhausted but I managed to tell them some, but I also urged them to sit in and listen when they can muster enough stillness so as not to distract the rest of the class.

I aksed H last night,

"Do you still wanna go to Saudi when you're bigger, to learn Islam?"

He nodded and said,

"But cellphones are not allowed."

I burst out laughing. He had told me before, when I was bustling in the kitchen,

"In Saudi Arabia, cellphones are not allowed."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Khalid Yassin said it in the talk."

He had attended the talk by Khalid Yassin at the masjid with hubby.

When he responded like that last night, I asked him, chuckling,

"Why are you so hung up on cellphones anyway? We don't even have any."

Later on I told hubby and he said,

"Cellphones are not allowed during weddings."

Being a child, I guess H misunderstood it and generalized it to cellphones not being allowed in Saudi Arabia period.

I had a good laugh out of it though.

It has been a while since we dragged the kids along to AlMaghrib classes. When hubby and I were involved directly with the qabeelah, we attended the meetings, hubby manned the registration tables, and so the kids were better able to experience being involved in a dawah project. Now, hubby and I have kind of tapered off in terms of being involved directly in Columbus dawah projects, well, except that hubby is still highly involved in masjid dawah projects. Seats of Scholars is lying dormant for now, so I haven't been doing anything much. In a way I miss it, because when we were involved in dawah projects, the kids are also inadvertently involved, or at least they see us being busy with the dawah projects. I even induce them to help out with tasks they could manage, age-wise, like making flyers, and helping out in general (usually to call brothers for sisters or passing messages).

Since Seats of Scholars have also been lying dormant for a while, S is not doing her email reminders much, and H is not updating the website much. We need to pick that up again real soon inshaallah.

Being in the AlMaghrib atmosphere last weekend was a boost to me spiritually alhamdulillah and brings back nice memories of bringing back Hayl to Columbus, working with Hayl as a family (literally), and I realized that it's quite simple to train our children to make dawah, if we also do them, by involving ourselves in dawah projects that can take many forms. And I feel so grateful to Allah for having been given the opportunities to take part in many dawah projects run by many different organizations here in the United States, and for having been able to also do them as a family. Walhamdulillah.

It's difficult being a parent

Hubby and I have been trying to coax H to resume going to the masjid for the hifdh with AM, but he's been consistently refusing. Today, we went from one store to the next, looking for shoes for S to wear for her horse-riding lesson that will commence on Tuesday, next week inshaallah.

We ended up at Kohl's.

Of course, being me, I fretted about his firm refusal to go.

"So you're going tonight to AM, right H?"

He shook his head.

"No."

"Why?"

Let's just say it took quite some prodding to get to the core of the issue.

"You don't like going to the masjid?"

"No, it's so long!"

"You mean from Maghrib to Isha?"

He nodded.

"AM used to have free time, but not anymore."

It dawned on hubby then, what the issue was.

Apparently, before this, when H used to enjoy and look forward to going to the masjid, AM used to give them regular breaks where they could play, but not anymore.

We mulled over it, and I was reminded of the lecture I heard about parenting where you have to have positive association with acts of ibadah for children, so they will always look forward to it. In H's case, the positive association is gone. As a result, he no longer wants to go to the masjid.

Hubby said he will talk to AM about it, and as we went home, he said,

"No wonder there are not that many kids now coming to the masjid."

I had asked H, when he revealed the true reason he didn't want to go anymore,

"If AM gives you breaks like before, would you go?"

He nodded.

"You would do the Quran memorization and play?"

He nodded.

So it's not about memorizing the Quran, it's about 'just apples and no donuts'. Muhammad AlShareef uses this analogy of apples and donuts in dawah techniques, where apples refer to the hard core dawah issues (healthy) and donuts refer to the 'fun' stuff incorporated into any dawah event/activity. When it comes to attracting youths, the balance of apples and donuts is pretty important, especially today's generation.

I was worried that it was about Quran memorization, and felt a huge relief wash over me when I found out it wasn't. I have to say it felt pretty good to find out what the issue is.

Most times, parents don't take enough time to prod into matters pertaining to their children (well at least, in my experience) to find out why their children are acting up/refusing to do something. In Stephen's Covey 7 Habits, he talks about seeking to understand and then be understood. A lot of conflicts happen between parents and children when parents assume things about their children, thus not seeking to sincerely understand them. Subhanallah, we could have just forced him to go despite his adamant refusal. We could have dragged him to the masjid kicking and screaming. For all my unwise parenting moments, I can safely say that for this particular instance, inshaallah, Allah has guided me with some semblance of parental wisdom, Alhamdulillah!

Tonight he did go.

When the time came for them to go, hubby asked him,

"H, do you wanna go with the van, or the bike?"

H was playing downstairs at the time, not even ready to go to the masjid. I was trying to read as much as I could of a library book, and so I didn't look at him, but I sensed some hesitation. Alhamdulillah, he finally answered,

"Bicycle!"

When they came back, I asked him,

"So did you have fun at the masjid?"

He shook his head, but at least he wasn't sullen or physically rebelling about having to go.

That was one issue we had to deal with, alhamdulillah.

Another one came up while H and hubby were at the masjid. The kids are in the summer reading program, and today, they went to redeem their prizes, and it involved a dice. I suddenly felt uneasy about it as I was making wudhu' for Maghrib and I told the girls.

"I don't feel good about the dice today. Did you remember about the dice?"

"Yeah, I remember, but how are we going to get the bugs?"

Then, came the comment or remark that shook up my parenting world,

"It's difficult being a Muslim. You can't have tattoos, and dice."

Let me just say that I was speechless after that remark S made. Only Allah knows how much my heart felt like it was wrung out. Immediately I thought,

"Ya Allah! This is it! I'm going through what most Muslim parents go through!"

Earlier today even, as we drove through town, I was thinking to myself,

"The years ahead are probably going to be rough. The kids are growing, entering new stages, different and unfamiliar stages in their lives. I'm in for a bumpy ride."

H's issue with the masjid had triggered that train of thought in me, and S's remark just put an exclamation mark at the back of that caboose.

I gave a short response, consisting of

"That's because we're living in a kuffar country."

"Then when are we going to move to a better place?" asked N.

"I don't know. Make dua."

"I know it's difficult. It's difficult for adults too."

"No, it's more difficult for kids."

"Well, yes, but adults have a hard time too, you know. Abi could have gotten a job easily all this time and we could have been rich. There are banks and insurance companies telling him to come, but he refused because they're deep in riba'. If he had worked for them, we probably would have been rich and won't have the problem of staying here, but then, our dua might not be accepted because our source of money is haram, and whatever we eat is haram, nauzubillah. So it's difficult for adults too."

My dismay was beginning to make me angry, so I held my tongue, and stopped talking. My thoughts unraveled, and I thought of the best way to respond. I thought,

"I need to talk to them."

I didn't know what I was going to say, but I knew I had to talk to them about it, soon. I made dua that Allah give me wisdom to handle it, and for Allah to give them wisdom to bear this.

While S took her shower, I called N to my room while I nursed Baby Z.

"N, what S said just now, about how difficult it is to be a Muslim. Do you..."

I was lost for words. I had no plan, I didn't know what or how I was going to go about discussing it. I was jumping in blind.

"Agree?" she finished my sentence.

I nodded.

"Yeah."

"How is it difficult to be a Muslim?"

She prattled about some negative stuff, and it was as if a lightbulb lit up in my head,

Instead of asking her what's making it difficult, why not ask her what's fun about being a Muslim?

(Being proactive instead of reactive)

So I did. I turned the question to,

"Okay, what can you do and have you done that's fun, as a Muslim?"

It got the wheels turning, and before long, she was churning out our travels to Texas, Pennsylvania, Eid, cats, Baby Z, etc.

By the time she was done, I added to her list, and we concluded that

Hey, there are a lot of things that Muslims can do.

When we were done, I shooed her out, and hailed S.

"S, N and I were talking about the difficult being a Muslim, and we came up with...with what N?"

"A lot of cool stuff," replied N as she left the room.

So I did another 'session' with S. She listed Pennsylvania, cats, frogs, Baby Z, kissing him, hugging him, playing outside, reading, Muslim parties, eating, getting a flat tire, museums, petting animals, etc.

I did note that both mentioned our travels to Pennsylvania. Subhanallah, they seem to really cherish those trips to children's museums on our trip that happened only because of hubby's conference.

We also concluded that Muslims can do a lot of things, but with her, I added something extra.

"Even for adults, it's difficult. Some adults would say why is it that the kuffar have a good life, they live in mansions, and look at their country, so clean and modern, while Muslim countries are dirty and the people are rude, and poor. I had a friend who said that.."

"What did you tell her?" S interjected.

"I don't remember..." (I really don't remember!)

"But..basically, Allah has said in the Quran, if one asks for something good here on earth, he will get it, and if he doesn't ask for any good in the hereafter, he won't get anything. And which is more lasting? Here or the hereafter?"

I continued with moer analogies...

"You know, if you're thirsty, and you drink water because you're thirsty, and then let's say you're not thirsty, and you drink anyway. Which one feels better?"

"The first one," she said.

"So it's like that, if we live an enjoyable life here on earth, when we go to jannah, it might not....feel..."

"Worth it?"

"Yeah, kind of. But you know what I mean, right?"

"Because of that suffering, Allah will compensate us."

And I told her about the pricking of the thorn, of how our sins are erased for any pain we feel.

"I'm so scared of the punishment in the grave, that I think, oh, let me have a lot of pain now so I won't have any sins to be punished for in the grave."

"And here on earth, let's say you drink Cincau, for example, you drink it again, and it tastes the same, right? But in jannah, let's say you eat a fruit, the first time you eat it, it's SOOO good, and the second time you eat it, ahhh...the third time you eat it, it's even better! The fourth time you eat it, awesome! The fifth time you eat it, WHOA!"

S was giggling from all the expressions I manufactured with each bite of that fruit, and I joined her.

We really covered a lot during that talk, alhamdulillah.

I am reminded of what Sheikh Yaser Birjas said in the class Code of Scholars: Usul Al Fiqh last August. That we Muslims just have to be more creative and not feel restricted in not being able to do this and that. Instead we should focus on the halal things we are allowed to do. This is where we parents come in and provide these halal alternatives - part of our job description.

After we prayed Isha, N said,

"Ummi, let's hurt ourselves."

"Huh?"

"So we'll get rewarded and won't have any sins."

Aaahhh...this girl has been eavesdropping.

Seerah: The Shepherd's Path

I was busy writing out an email to hubby and the kids, laying out possible plans for this weekend, thinking that this weekend will be just like any other weekend. After I hit the send button, I realized,

I'm taking Seerah!! inshaallah.

Sheikh Abdulbary is teaching this one, and he's renowned for his stories, mashaallah. At first I didn't want to take it, because last class's experience with plugged ducts was really not fun, and with hubby's knee, I wasn't sure if he could even lift Baby Z's car seat in the process of lugging him to me and taking him back home again throughout both weekends. But inshaallah, I will be taking the class.

As I was looking through AlMaghrib's seminar webpage, I noticed a new class: Beautiful Patience: Tafseer Surah Yusuf. Mashaallah! I haven't been keeping up with AlMaghrib's progress, that this is really news to me! Sabrun Jameel, I need that sorely. I wonder if we'll still be here for me to be able to continue taking AlMaghrib classes...or in the UK, since it's already there now, alhamdulillah.

H is resuming going to AM for his Quran memorization inshaallah, starting tonight. Hubby said to him this morning,

"AM and me are buddies. Who else's kids dad play soccer with the sheikh?"

When AM talked to hubby about H's hesitance to come to the masjid for hifdh, AM said that it might be because H was having trouble with Surah Talaq, such that he had to work on the same ayah for weeks.

One time, before this, AM asked H why he didn't come to the hifdh program anymore, and H replied,

"I'm doing it with my father."

Suffice it to say, hubby was embarrassed when AM told him about it.

So inshaallah, H is resuming it with AM tonight.

In the meantime, I'd better quickly review that Seerah timeline on the wall in the living room. Interestingly, I'm not that excited about this upcoming class, such that I actually forgot about it.

May Allah make it easier this time around with nursing Baby Z and avoiding plugged ducts inshaallah. Ameen.

Miscellaneous

Alhamdulillah life post OHVA is lighter and freer. Almost every morning now, if the sun is out and shining, I send the kids outside, and tell them to take Baby Z along. No, I don't get to really sit down and have coffee and read the morning newspaper, but I can now tidy up the house, take a shower and sit down at the computer in an empty household. However, I have started telling them to make sure the house is tidy before they dash outside to frolic in the morning sun. It's very frustrating to be doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast and walk into a messy living room or rooms, and no one to hail to do my bidding. As I struggle to complete writing my article assignments, I also struggle finding time to sit down long enough without being interrupted by a baby needing to nurse, a baby dropped in the living room as his sibs return back outside to continue their outdoor play, and a set of rowdy children banging the door behind them as they barrel in the front door.

Not so much freedom for me, but alhamdulillah baby Z's eczema seems to have abated significantly ever since his nap schedule became regular.

Since I wasn't that busy logging in hours, attendance, checking lesson progress, and dealing with a myriad of issues pertaining to the OLS of OHVA, I've been able to actually nurse Baby Z in peace, albeit it being an hour straight at a time. We're all much much happier now, and I've even started to take interest in baking again.

I coaxed them to bake something for themselves, and one day they made meringue cookies. Yesterday they made cookies to make ice cream sandwiches with. As for me, I baked myself my Namaste Carrot Cake again, but this time using Ener-G egg replacer, hoping for a normal cake. Alas, I seem to have taken the cake out too soon, and all I got was a gummy, spice-laden carrot cale. At least, I think that's the problem. Nevertheless, I'm only more determined to experiment until I get it right. So I'm inshaallah going to play around with cake recipes or if I'm lucky, after doing more reading on the chemistry revolving different kinds of flours, I might come up with my own recipe.

H had his last soccer game of the season this morning. He scored a goal, and the weather was really pleasant too, allahu akbar. I had boiled some corn for them this morning and we brought the whole pot with us. As usual, hubby stood on the sidelines and churned out shouts after shouts of encouragement, commands, comments, and amused disappointment throughout the whole game. S was busy chomping on a corn, and calmly, she asked her father,

"Wanna a corn?"

"No, not now. I'm shouting," he replied, not taking his eyes off the players on the field.

"That's why he needs the corn," S said to me, and I burst into laughter.

We finally bought gates to put at the kids' doorway, the kitchen hallway, and the front door hallway today. The house hasn't been child-proofed for Baby Z, as I anticipated moving out, but it's not happening anytime soon it seems. Handy S and H set up the gates, much to their parents' pleasure, especially hubby's. He wasn't that enthusiastic about putting them up, but alhamdulillah we have some handykids around. Proud of their handiness they are too!

As for me, I am still buried under the task of reading my high stack of books, and have yet to finish my writing assignments, which has been driving me crazy to say the least. I just realized that I have only spent Ramadan in Malaysia in my 'childhood', since I came here at the age of 20 and have spent Ramadan here ever since. I have never experienced Ramadan as a wife and mother in my home country. How sad is that? Nevertheless, it sure has some perks too, alhamdulillah.

And alhamdulillah, my lengthy nursing times in the room have been spent listening to Anwar Awlaki's Umar Ibn A-Khattab, and suffice it to say, it has infused me in this ethereal world of the sahaba. Even Baby Z looks forward to the lecture whenever it's time to nurse for his naps and bedtimes. Life with Baby Z is much much more enjoyable now, especially because I'm finally able to relax into a schedule that is more like the one I'm used to when S, N, and H were younger.

Without the pressure and hassle of OHVA, life seems much more relaxing. Plus, the weather is still spring-like, though the flowers on the trees have mostly dispersed, leaving the trees green, making it look more like summer.

Inshaallah it seems like I'm taking the next Almaghrib class: Seerah, the Shepherd's Path in mid June, even though I said I probably won't. Circumstances inshaallah have changed such that it would be quite possible for us to do it with less hassle than before, bi iznillah. I look forward to this class.
So now, before I feel like I have wasted my time yet again on the computer, while two writing assignments are yet to be finished, I'd better sign off, and wait till much later before I finish up those 4 drafts sitting in my blogger account. Plus, I have a one year old who is starting to wail because he is probably bored because all his sibs have left him with his mother who is on the computer typing away, and hubby, as he does every Saturday evening, has gone off to play soccer. A mother never gets to completely rest, does she? In Jannah inshaallah, in jannah.

On Quran Memorization .... Apparently Continued

Stemming from the comments on the previous post pertaining to this topic, I decided to write another post, documenting my observations on Quran memorizing.


What Led to a Change of Heart

My interest was sparked in the summer of 2006 after taking the class Ulum Al Quran in Dearborn, Michigan. Ever since we lost AlMaghrib back in 2005, I have started to join some local young sisters in traveling to other cities to take Almaghrib classes. H was about 6 at the time, and I had no baby, so it was pretty easy for me to travel. The first class we attended as the 'Qabeelah on Wheels' was in Ann Arbor, Michigan. It was there that I overheard some sisters talking about women traveling without mahrams, and I was moved to look up the fatwa. My heart felt uneasy, and it was then that I decided I wasn't going to travel anywhere outside the city limits without my mahram anymore. So for subsequent classes, I dragged hubby with me.

The next class we took was Fiqh Of Love, in Indianapolis, Indiana, which alhamdulillah improved our marriage somewhat. We dragged the kids too, and suffice it to say, it was a big hassle, for they had the flu, and so we left them the second weekend with a Malaysian family. Ulum al Quran was the next class, and for this one, we left the kids with some young Malaysian students, A and Sy, who stayed at our homes. It was this class that transformed my perception on memorizing the Quran. I never placed much significance on it before, but what Muhammad Faqih said during the class changed how I viewed it, alhamdulillah. His advice for Muslim families, is one that I will treasure and try to remember always inshaallah.


Tips from a Hafidh

This was what he partly said during class. He also gave us tips on how to effectively memorize it. What I can recall, are:

1. Sit with earphones in your ears, blocking out every sound
2. Listen to a Qari's recitation, and face a corner or something which will not distract you
3. Repeat the verse you're trying to memorize several times until you get it

For our children, I guess we can modify it to fit our situations.


What about Knowing the Meaning?

I had asked him about the importance of knowing the meaning of the surah when memorizing, and what he said can basically be summed up as:

Even though knowing the meaning is important, when memorizing, that is not the focus. Focus on memorizing the ayah as is, and knowing the meaning will come later on.

Muhammad Al Shareef also said that usually, when studying the deen, one should not start with Arabic, but start with the Quran, even if one does not know Arabic. This is because, once one starts with the Quran, and memorizes it, one will later on be compelled to know the meaning, and from there, one will then be compelled to learn Arabic, and in turn, the whole deen bizinillah.

He also mentioned that the mistake people do when starting with Arabic, is that one goes in depth, and the Quran does not necessarily folllow suit, which is not the case with the other order (Quran first and then Arabic). From personal experience, I can't really shed much light on this one, because I did learn Arabic in secondary school, and my reading of the Quran is very much affected by what I learned of Arabic, which helps a lot in understanding what I read.


Our Different Islamic Cultures Pertaining to the Quran

Here in Columbus, we have quite a big population of Somali, and after spending a lot of time with them, I have noticed that part of their Islamic culture is an emphasis on memorizing the Quran. They have this 'madrasah' which they call 'Dugsi' where kids are trained to memorize the Quran strictly. We did send our kids to this dugsi a few years back, but we later took them out.

Unfortunately, we realized that they were assigning portions of surahs to be memorized to each kid, and we the parents, are the one who are under pressure to administer and oversee this process, which usually involved spending time with each kid who were assigned different portions, and quite big portions they were! In the end, we were tearing our hair out because it was just unrealistic to do so with a certain deadline. Plus, unfortunately, the kids who are sent to dugsi, are those who go to public school, and they bring in pop culture into the masjid, by talking of Hanna Montana and such during breaks or even during classes. We also found out that the masjid that is closer to us were starting to have hafidh classes too, so it was then that we took out the kids from dugsi, and we enrolled them in the program at the closer masjid.

The hafidh at the closer masjid was from Libya, and again, I observed that a lot of hufaadh at our masjid are from this country, mashaallah! However, one difference that I noticed, was that tajweed was included as a focus in addition to memorization by this hafidh. So, it's a step up, inshaallah.

The Desi (IndoPak) are also quite heavy on Quran memorization, and I see this from the Desi community at another masjid about 30 minutes away from where we live. A couple of times, I had attended their events, and mashaallah, kids aged 10 or so were reciting long surahs from memory.

When we were in Chicago for the class History of the Khulafa, Muhammad Al Shareef talked about how the Malaysians and Indonesians are very good at teaching their children the Quran with proper Tajweed. I realized then that our strength is focusing on tajweed. However, being a Malaysian myself, I also realized that our weakness is not focusing much on memorization (in general). At least, memorization is not a significant part of our cultural practice of Islam, as opposed to the Somalis, but sending our kids to someone who will teach them to read the Quran with proper tarteel is very much a significant part of our cultural practice of Islam. Once the child finishes reading the whole Quran, a celebration is in order, and the Quran is then closed forever (loosely speaking), never to be touched again, left to gather dust on the shelves. Some surahs are assigned to be memorized in school, but that's about it. I believe, from some conversations with fellow Malaysians, that it is only recently that Tahfiz schools are revived in Malaysia, where they were functioning 'underground' before.

One thing that stood out to me from all these observations, was that the Malaysians and Indonesians place emphases on knowing how to read the Quran. This is what the other cultures lack. Their young children may memorize the Quran, but they don't necessarily know how to read it, yes, even the Arabs. On the other hand, we may know how to read the Quran perfectly, but we don't necessarily have a love for it such that it will push us to memorize it. This is one of the reasons I feel very blessed to have set foot here, in the United States, where I am able to mingle with Muslims from other cultures. The differences, if handled in the right manner, can open up our minds as we learn about them, not in order to dig a deeper trench of separation, but in order to build a bridge of understanding each other.

My Somali sisters, mashaallah, have shared with me the secrets to their memorization of the Quran, or portions of it. Some have said that when they were young, their mothers would recite the portion of the Surah they were to memorize to them, and they would memorize it this way. And when they're bigger, and able to read the Quran themselves, they would do it themselves. Knowing the meaning probably didn't come until much later, with increased exposure, knowledge, and wisdom.


Reading the Quran: An Art?

Growing up, I used to just read the mushaf without bothering to look up the meaning. It was only unil I was of college age that I began to ponder on the practice. And now, I see that more and more of us Malaysians are realizing that we should also know what these verses are saying, rather than reciting them with perfect tajweed and tarteel, alhamdulillah.

I have had a conversation with one Malaysian who expressed her sentiment about the Quran in this way,

"Reciting the Quran is an art."

I guess I can't disagree with that, for it is true in a way, as the Prophet SAW told us to recite the Quran in as melodious a voice as possible, but that is not where it should stop.

Alhamdulillah, I feel that I have truly been blessed with good company in all the places we have lived in the United States, and I pray that Allah continue to place us in good company, that will help guide us to Him. So, I also feel that I have the advantage of combining the strengths of all these cultural practices pertaining to the Quran and applying them in our family; tajweed and memorization.


Too Old To Memorize?

As for issues with age, here is the story of an 82 year old grandmother who managed to memorize the whole Quran with the help of her grown daughter, mashaallah. I had met UmmReem's sister at The Texas Dawah Conference in Houston, Texas in December 2007, and UmmReem, also happened to have written a guide to help your child memorize Quran at a young age, for her daughter Reem, had memorized the Quran y the age of 5 or 7 if I'm not mistaken, mashaallah.



Problem with a Different Learning Style

When talking to UmmReem's sister Sd, she told me of her experience of homeschooling her children. It seems that one of her children is very much like my N, in terms of learning style. Where her sisters and brothers excelled in memorization, she seems to struggle. That sounded very familiar to me, so she talked of how she modified her teaching style with that daughter.

With Surah As Shams, she would draw pictures of the sun, moon, day, night, earth, sky etc as she taugher her daughter each verse, and it seemed to help.

With the kids, I had done a similar thing back in maybe 2003 where we had made an accordion book. On each page, they had to draw the representation of each ayah in Surah As Shams. We also did it with Surahs An Naas and Al Ikhlaas, where I had them write out one word from the ayah where they could not draw pictures.

With N, hubby sought another way to maintain her interest, by actually sitting with her and telling her the story of the surah she was working on. She seems to be one that has to interact with what with she is learning, whereas S and H are the typical 'school' learners that are content to be spoonfed information. Now however, they are all immersed in the story behind each surah everytime we ride the van, where hubby would turn on Muhammad AlShareef's Touched by An Angel.

Back to Sd's daughter, Sd told me that when she expressed her frustrations to her husband, he had told her,

"Don't worry about it, when she gets it, she'll get it,"

and this is one advice I also take when it comes to dealing with N.


Don't Push Them

That brings about another point to ponder on. Both Sd and I were listening to the lecture given by Dr.Mamdouh at the Texas Dawah Conference, and he had mentioned this scenario of not pushing the kids to memorize if they're not ready for it. I think, we parents sometimes get carried away in this 'race to memorize the whole Quran by age ____". I have seen people who memorized the whole Quran at a young age, and then forgot it, because memorizing it was part of the culture.



Ihsaan

It truly behooves us, as Muslims, to have a level of awareness in whatever we are doing, so we don't get carried away in our acts of worship such that they become just part of our daily routine, be it memorizing the Quran, praying, or wearing the hijab. Subhanallah, I really think this is the hardest part of practicing Islam; doing it at a level of Ihsaan. It is not an easy level to reach, and every day, as we go about our daily routine, it is so easy to do things without thinking about them, and especially in including our children in these routines, it is so easy to transfer that mindset to them. This is my daily struggle, as a Muslim, as a parent.


Last night, I was on a teleconference call with DiscoverUlife Life Coach, on a call titled How To Live a Life of Zero Regrets. She said that there are 3 kinds of failure. The first failure struck me the most:

It's when, on the Day of Judgment, you come to Allah, having done all the right things, NOT in the right way.



So Inshaa Allah...

May Allah protect us from that, and may Allah guide us to the straight path. Ameen.

May Allah purify our hearts, our intentions, and accept our deeds. Ameen.

Ummi Hitting the Books!

As Baby Z did an almost 180 degree turn with regards to his condition, I decided to take the exam yesterday instead of taking the deferral. The sooner I'm done with it, the better. So I started hitting the books Saturday evening (yes, a little bit too late, but I have started studying way before, just not extensively). I ended up staying up till over 1 am, propped on the couch with my laptop, studying the notes, while hubby accompanied me, albeit in deep slumber. Baby Z woke up, and we gave him his second dose of antibiotics.

I thought I was going to bed right away since he seemed so out of it, but he started coughing this dry cough that just wouldn't stop, poor baby. It took a while for him to fall asleep, mostly just tired from all the coughing. The next day, after Fajr, I hit the books again, this time upstairs, in the kids' room. It took a lot of effort for me to focus studying, and between bouts of emailing my friends and studying the notes, I somehow managed to actively study. By the time, I got into the rhythm of studying, I was making a timeline of the birth and death of the tabi' tabi'een and tabi' tabi' tabi'een. Suffice it to say, I was so engrossed that I never got up from my chair for hours.

The morning went on as usual around me; hubby preparing to cook, the kids having breakfast, feeding Baby Z. I even nursed Baby Z without getting out of the chair, eyes still afixed to the screen. As lunchtime came, H came in and brought me a plate of freshly cooked fried spaghetti that hubby had made for lunch. I put Baby Z in bed as soon as he fell asleep, and continued to study.

Alas! I had focused on the history of the compilers of hadith, but the exam focused on the technical part of the Sciences of Hadith. Instead of being all multiple choice, it was all short answer questions. Let's just say, I was disappointed and shocked, but I am also glad, because:

1. the exam in and of itself, is not the end, it's just a means
2. I ended up studying the compilers of hadith such that I am now excited about making lesson plans for the kids
3. not being able to answer the questions in the exam bothered me to the point that I now am telling myself that I need to study that part of the class, again.

Sure, the grade will bring down my CGPA, but I have moved away from the result-oriented system/perspective. With Islamic knowledge, good grades don't mean anything if the knowledge is not practiced or spread.

However, what struck me most last weekend, was the fact that 'Ummi hitting the books' affected the members of this household greatly. I recall the years of going to college full time with Baby S, then Baby S and Baby N while hubby also went to college full time. Studying was done rather haphazardly; whenever I could fit it in my busy schedule. Since I was also breastfeeding, when hours passed and milk overflowed, I would be tempted to rush home to feed the baby, abandoning any potential time spent at the computer lab to finish my programming assignments. It was definitely a different lifestyle.

Alhamdulillah I never had Plugged Milk Ducts back then, or mastitis. Considering the amount of stress I must have been in, it is truly a wonder that I never did, and that only proves that Allah makes some things easy for you when you are already facing hardships in other areas, subhanallah! Now, I am not even rushing to classes or even setting foot outside the house to go anywhere in a rush, but I am plagued with Plugged Milk Ducts over and over again like there is no tomorrow! It was only after I graduated and stayed home was I tested with a baby who had febrile seizures several times, bronchiolitis, and what not. And over the years, it was only after our kids have grown a bit(with no diapers to change) that we were tested with the death of a child. The tests we go through do make us stronger and wiser, alhamdulillah.

This past weekend, I had a glimpse into the slice of life I might have were I to pursue a degree; another one, or a higher one. Even though I have a desire to do so, I also have a desire and obligation to pursue more Islamic knowledge, hence all the AlMaghrib classes I took the trouble to attend. I have spent more than 4 years in college, and by the time I was done, I had 2 kids. It was high time I focused on pursuing Islamic knowledge considering how little I had in the beginning despite being in an Islamic boarding school for 5 years, which is not much of a surprise anyway. So here I am, hitting the books again, but this time, I'm doing so with a different mindset, alhamdulillah.

Isn't it amazing how we are all lifelong learners? Our status as 'students' will never cease to exist as long as we continue to seek knowledge, and what better knowledge to seek, than that that will bring us closer to our Creator? So to all 'seekers of knowledge' out there, may Allah grant you knowledge and wisdom, and purify your hearts so you will spread the knowledge to benefit the whole ummah. Ameen! As for me, I'll work on my own little 'ummah' right here inshaallah, and what better way to start than thinking up that lesson plan.

The Islamic Household

I stumbled upon a plethora of resources for Muslim families, subjects ranging from Marriage to Raising Children, mashaallah.

I was also pleasantly surprised to find that the complete notes for Fiqh of Love taught by Sheikh Yaser Birjas is available.

May Allah guide all Muslim families on the right path, seeking His pleasure and the Ultimate reward in living our family lives. Ameen.

Etiquettes as Teachers

On Free Friday, I met a mother who was looking for audio CDs pertaining to parenting. As I helped her look for one, I realized that her search resonated with my own. I'm always on the lookout for parenting tips and guides nowadays, especially since the kids are entering new stages of childhood each year. There are a lot of parenting books out there, but those that are catered for Muslims are very few, and those that are available, I personally find lacking in vivid real life examples. However, the good news is that most parenting books written by non Muslims actually utilize the sunnah, at least 80% of the time. Most Muslims don't realize that the sunnah embodies so much of what is now in the hands of non Muslims, and as a consequence, we look up to the west and think of Islam as being backward. This is most probably because we have lost touch with the legacy left by Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wasallam, nastaghfirullah.

In class, Shaykh Abdulbary covered a topic that I easily can recall without glancing at my notes, as it pertains a lot to parenting especially homeschooling; etiquettes as teachers. Of course, we are all 'teachers' whether we realize it or not. So here are what he mentioned:

1. Al Hirs
Al hirs is a strong sincere desire for goodness for your students. For parents who are homeschooling, it's easy to have this Hirs because every parent wants good for his/her children.
For teachers in school however, this Hirs has to be thught of consciously, as it might not as easily to them especially when they're on the verge of burning out. I was reading Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families this morning, and I came across a point he made about 'a good parent is way better than an excellent caregiver'. He was talking about sending your child to a daycare versus staying home and caring for that child yourself. No matter how competent and trustworthy someone is, a child is much better off cared for by a good parent, because it is in a parent's nature to sincerely want good for her child.

On this point the Shaykh mentioned the hadith of Abu Dharr who was advised by Rasulullah sallalahu alayhi wasallam to not take a position of leadership. Abu Dharr was the strongest in terms of Ibadah, but he is not one who would make a good leaders, and in advising him as such, Rasulullah sallalahu alayhi wasallam was exercising the Hirs for Abu Dharr. From here also, we can extract the lesson that someone who is pious is not necessarily good material for leadership roles, and vice versa.

He also mentioned the ayah,

Surah At-Tawbah:

Muhsin Khan: Verily, there has come unto you a Messenger (Muhammad SAW) from amongst yourselves (i.e. whom you know well). It grieves him that you should receive any injury or difficulty. He (Muhammad SAW) is anxious over you (to be rightly guided, to repent to Allah, and beg Him to pardon and forgive your sins, in order that you may enter Paradise and be saved from the punishment of the Hell-fire), for the believers (he SAW is) full of pity, kind, and merciful. [9:128]

2. Being gentle and kind when speaking to the students

This might be a little challenging when parents are having bad days, in whcih the advise would be: grab a kit kat!

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would always treat each sahaba kindly such that each of them would think that they're the most beloved to him as in the case of Amr Ibn al-Aas who asked rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam who among the men does he love best.

3. Tawaddhu' (being humble)

Once the Prophet salllaahu alayhi wasallam was giving a khutbah when a man came to tell him that a man had come to learn about Islam. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam stopped his khutbah and told the sahab to get two chairs for that man who wanted to learn islam and the man who brought the message. The prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam then taught the man until the man was satisfied and only after did he return to his khutbah.

Applying this to the concept of the 7 habits, I would say it fits in quadrant 2 (things that are important but not urgent). If this were to happen in today's world, imagine how the people would go in an uproar had the imam stopped the khutbah to tend to a new Muslim.

4. When you're asked a question, give the answer and something more

The hikmah behind this is because the questioner is already in the mode of receiving inputs, as elaborated in this post.

5. Never answer a question you don't know the answer to, especially if it pertains to the deen

6. The best method of teaching is to ask questions

The Shaykh told us of how hs father used this method to teach him the rules of the road such that when taking the writing test, he passed without even studying the booklet. He also told us of how he uses this technique with his son everytime he's in the car. This was how he taught his son the rules of janazah prayer. On subsequent days he asked his son,

"If you were to die in this car due to an accident, would you need a janazah prayer to be done?" (or something like that)

Since he had already indirectly taught his son the rules days before, his son was able to answer the question and apply what he learned. The nice thing is, the learning is done imprompty, and the child doesn't even realize he's learning!

It has come to the point that everytime they get in the car, his son would ask,

"So what's the question today, Dad?"

Mashaallah!

That's something we can do with our children inshaallah.

This is also something I learned in writing, and I have used it effectively too with the kids, alhamdulillah.

7. Repetition of information leaves a deeper imprint in the mind

Sometimes repeating a phrase several times piques curiosity and then the process of learning is expedited and made more appealing. This is akin to opening with a BANG!


8. If a person does not know something and it's out of ignorance, don't scold

The example he gave for this one is of the bedouin urinating in the masjid. How many times do we scold our children for spilling stuff?

A lot of work in progress for moi on this one. Sigh...

9. Always give examples (analogies)

This is very important because it enables the students to relate to a new concept more easily.

I have alhamdulillah manage to employ this technique quite effectively with the kids. Sometimes it would result in rather comical analogies too I must say.

10. Speak slowly

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would speak slowly such that people could count his words if they wanted to. The scholars would repeat to aid memorization, and so should we, as is apparent in memorising anything. The prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would say something and repeat it thrice. The first time is so people could hear it, the second time is to clarify it and the third time is for people to memorize it. A vivid example the Shaykh gave was of the Prophet's sallallahu alayhi wasallam's khutbah at Arafah to the hujjaj. There were no microphones. How could everyone hear him? Through repetition from people to people. There was no rush, and the people were patient, subhanallah!

For this one, I guess I have to put more work into it, as I'm used to garbling up my sentences when speaking due to the speed. When I was growing up, I always feared people would stop listening to me and turn away as I was still speaking to them, so I would speak really quickly, and as years went by, I have developed a rather 'speedy' way of talking.

Sitting Idly

While the rest of the Haylers are enjoying Shaykh Abdulbary's class right now, I am stuck at home tending to some plugged milk ducts. I had the gnawing thought yesterday about this happening, since the nursing times were very spaced out yesterday. I could still make it, but it doesn't seem to be 'unplugging' despite my attempts at draining it. May Allah open the blockage and let open the lines of communication that is very much needed. Plus I think my accumulated frustration, annoyance, and stress also played a part in making me extra susceptible to be afflicted with this yet again, for the 4th time in a period of less than two months.

The 'Cleanest Room in the House' I notice, seems to be looking a bit run down. I don't think they're ready for that hamster yet. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

As for gems for this second weekend, I have to say what struck me most was the concept of Barakah. I knew this before, but there is nothing like delivery of a reminder by someone who is effective as Sheykh Abdulbary. Or maybe it's just the whole aura of the surrounding and environment of people gathering together for two full weekends, forgoing their relaxation, to seek knowledge in the deen.

The blessed hours of the early morning contain barakah, even for the non Muslims. Early Muslims used to take advantage of this, and in doing so, they were able to attain so much in so little time. As we near the Day of Judgment, time seems to decrease, and more so because people do not take advantage of these golden hours. When Sheykh Abdulbary talked about this in class, I couldn't help thinking of my laments over how I don't have enough time to do what I needed and wanted to do. No wonder!

From now on, I really have to strive on working on my Circle of Influence than focusing on my Circle of Concern, I guess, even if it means I would miss out on quality time with hubby. For years I have been trying to practice going to bed early, but I have always stayed back again and again because that is the only time I would get to spend time with hubby. I guess he'll have to be the one making the choice now. I resolve not to budge on this one (Oh Allah, please strengthen my resolve, and open his heart and eyes).

And now, back I go to my attempts of draining this blockage and stoppage, and oh, how many meanings those words carry right now. May Allah make me among those who are patient. Ameen.

The Sadaqah Jar & Worthwhile Projects

Recipe for Financial Success: Save, Sadaqah and Spend.

The Triple S

1. Divide it in half
2. Dump one half of it into the Savings Jar
3. Divide the other one half into thirds
4. Place one third in the SpendingJar/Wallet/Purse
5. Place the remaining two thirds in the Sadaqah Jar.
6. Update ledger

A friend expressed utter surprise when I told her that the kids do have money saved up. It's a cultural and generational difference, I suppose, because where she grew up, the only money she ever saved were those for buying special treats at the store. When I was growing up, I did have some money saved up for emergencies (If my father were suddenly struck with utter poverty, I could come to the rescue and save the family with my savings of 50 Malaysian Ringgit). My husband was also a saver, a very frugal saver at that, as is apparent now.

I have long thought of training the kids to wisely handle their finances. Seeing how hubby is the economics guy, I asked him to handle the matter. Unfortunately, he said that it all comes to him by instinct, and that he doesn't know how to 'teach' it to the kids. In other words, he has no organization whatsoever in his method of saving money.

So it was up to me to yet again do some reading and searching and researching as to a doable method of training your children to manage their finances. K and Rq had mentioned what Muhammad Alshareef taught in Rizq Management about not putting all your eggs in one basket. I had heard about that before, and one day I came across the 3 'basket' method (at least that's what I call it).

So I adapted it for the kids, and assigned each of them three jars. We had some glass spaghetti sauce jars that I had decorated, and in which they had lept their money before. So it wasn't that hard to do what I planned for them to do. Basically, each of them will have:

1. Savings Jar
2. Sadaqah Jar
3. Spending Jar

Each time they are to receive money and make a deposit, they are to follow the Triple S recipe. After a while, dividing up 1 dollar bills into halves and thirds just got tiresome, and we agreed that for small amounts of money, they can divide it as they wish and allocate it as they wish, but that for amounts of $10 or more, they would have to follow the Triple S recipe.

So, for a while, we have had the Sadaqah Jar, which has increasingly been getting full, tabarakallah. Other than donating the money at Jumuah prayer, we thought of sponsoring an orphan as a family, having the kids contribute their Sadaqah money to it. Though we had filled out the forms, it hasn't really taken off yet.

And one day, out of the blue, while I was bloghopping, I stumbled upon the most amazing blog owned by sister Farhana, called Sketched Soul. I have always wanted to do projects like these with the kids, but in light of my full plate, I never got to even hashing out the idea. Alhamdulillah for like-minded sisters that actually takes the time to hash out these ideas and make them a realistic occurence, Allahu Akbar!

All the projects are mashaallah, really great ideas, but two caught my fancy; The Muslimah Doll Project, and the Sew Giving Blanket Drive. More so because these are projects I can directly involve the kids in. Bubbling over with enthusiasm, to which the kids are now very much accustomed to whenever I am struck with an idea for homeschooling, baking, gifts, or arts and crafts projects, I told them of my find. Responding with the same amount of enthusiasm, they eagerly nodded their way to agreeing in contributing in the projects. The only damper is, H is pretty much left out, as he doesn't know how to crochet, and even though he wanted to make the doll in the beginning, he later opted out.

As of now, we have yet to pay a visit to Jo Ann to buy yarn and muslin for the doll's body, and Farhana had said that that project is put on hold for now, but that we can still make the dolls and it will be used for another project inshallah.

S had already started her baby blanket, but we're running out of yarn, so maybe after this weekend, we can make that trip to Jo Ann, inshaallah.

The Vessel Which Carries the 'Ilm

As I was typing my hastily scribbled notes from Chain of Command yesterday, I came across a story I wished to share with the kids. Even from the very beginning, they had expected me to share stories with them from the class, and when we went home for lunch breaks last weekend, they were already asking me to relay to them what I learned in class.

It's amazing what mode you're thrown in when people expect you to relay what you learned to them. All the while I was listening to Shayk Abdulbary, I scribbled as fast as I could, in as much detail as I could, keeping in mind that I am to pass on the knowledge to my children. As opposed to taking notes for myself, the details in which I took my notes were such that I had to use extra paper. In the past, I had taken notes that were probably more 'practical' and realistic, but I noticed that after a while, what I thought I would remember without the aid of keywords or notes, I couldn't remember, so this time, I thought I'd try to get as much down as possible.

As I was telling them some of the things I learned, their thirst for more prompted them to say,

"More!"

Spontaneously, I responded,

"That's what I remember right now," while racking my brains trying to recall what else I had thought I absorbed in the past few hours.

H, as usual, pointed out to me,

"You forgot the rest already?"

I let out an embarassed giggle, and in the midst of trying to make up and excuse for myself, I ended up saying,

"err...well..yeah...I have to look it up."

Talk about poor memory.

So when I came across that story in my notes, I told them (and they were immersed in their school work at the time),

"Oh kids, I found a story I wanna tell you!"

"Yeah, yeah!" H perked up, and abandoned his work.

Seeing that they still haven't finished their work, I said,

"Ok, but finish your work first, and then I'll tell you."

"Ohhhh!" H slumped, and muttered to himself.

When I finally told them about 'The Exorcist', I realized that it was one of those effective teaching moments, much much better than that comprising of elaborate lesson plans brimming with objectives and grade level requirements.

Dhomal al-Azdi was a famous exorcist during the times of the Jahiliyyah. The Quraisy had accused the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam of being possessed, but interestingly they never called upon their resident exorcist to drive the 'occupying jinn' out. Thus, Dhomal himself decided that he will do it for free. So hwe went to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, and told him,

"Speak."

The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam then said,

"Innalhamdulillah wanasta'inu wanastaghfiru..." basically saying the whole khutbah al hajjah.

Dhomal al-azdi, at the end of it, uttered,

"Ash-haadu allaa ilaha illaallah, wa ash-hadu anna muhammad rasoolullah!"

"No jinn can speak like this," was what he said.

This story stemmed from one of the benefits of studying the Science of Hadeeth: to apprciate the eloquence of the speech of the prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasallam, what is caled Jawwami al qalam.

I don't think they will forget that story for quite some time.

"Do you have anymore?" they asked after I was done telling that story.

"Yes, but not today," I said.

For jewels and gems, given piece meal become more precious than if given as a lump sum.

What's on the Menu?

Menu on a poor memory:

The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasallam said there are two meals in a day; lobster and crab.

Though I really wouldn't mind that at all, plus all the other stuff the Somali fishermen throw back out to sea after the big catch.

After hours of 50 minutes lectures interspersed by 10 minute breaks, the Sheykh announced that we were going to do an activity.

It was basically like playing the game 'Pass the Message' to members of a group of 6, and have the last person write the message down. With an Islamic twist however, we were supposed to narrate a hadeeth and see how garbled it is by the time it reaches the last person in our group.

I was the second person to in the group, the second to receive the hadeeth from the first person who memorized it as much as she could in a few minutes, and this is what I remember:

Ibn Umar narrated that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam reported: Two animals are made unlawful to you and two blood are made unlawful to you. The two animals are the locust and _______. The two blood are the spleen and the liver.

Rh had forgotten the second animal. I don't quite exactly know what the last person jot down, because as soon as she did, she passed it down to the Sheykh.

What transpired next was hilarious. As there were many groups in the class, there were many 'rendered' hadeeth from each group.

One particular one really cracked me up:

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said there are two meals in a day; the lobster and the crab.

There was another one that was equally funny:

Two animals that are lawful to you is the mucus and .....

You can imagine how bad narrators we all were, and as for strength of memory, ahh...let's just say most of us would fail a memory test.

The actual hadith was,


Abd Allah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him eternal peace) said: "Two types of dead meat and two types of blood have been made lawful for our consumption: The two dead meats are: fish and locust, and the two types of blood are: liver and spleen." (Sunan Abu Dawud, Musnad Ahmad and Sunan Ibn Majah)


Prior to this activity, the Sheykh had also told us of his uncle who was stuck in Somalia during World War II. He had lived there for a few months, and he had remarked that Somalia had the best food in the world. The Somali fishermen would take all the fish and throw the rest back in the sea. The best food he was referring to were the other catch that were thrown back to sea. let it be known that the Sheykh was born in Vietnam and is an Asian by ethnicity, so just like us Malaysians, seafood is a very savored food item. And from my interactions with my Somali friends here, I also know that they don't eat squids or shrimps, so the anecdote totally stuck in my mind. (This explains the commentary in small font above.)

I'm thinking that maybe I should do this activity with the kids, to demonstrate how powerful the memory of the sahabahs were, though the Sheykh also narrated instances of this in the story of Abu Hurayrah and Imam Bukhari.

A 'Labor'ious Weekend

I had dreaded this weekend from the moment hubby finalized that I would be the one taking the class. I knew I was right in all my worries and fretting, and I knew he didn't realize the full complications of it.

As Friday approached, I grew restless, worrying about Baby Z's bedtime. He usually sleeps around 7/8 pm, and class starts around 7 pm. I wanted him to sleep at home, and not in his stroller. We pulled it off when he was younger, but with all the difficulties I've been having with his naps and sleeps, I could smell the trouble. But I went on with it. To top it off, even though hubby said he would tell them he wouldn't man the registration table, he did end up having to settle some financial issues for people all weekend.

Baby Z doesn't sleep well at night, which is pretty normal for a human being coming out from my womb. None of my kids ever slept through the night when they were under 1 year old. However, he doesn't nal good either, except for this one period of time which was then disrupted by our trip to Houston for the Texas Dawah Convention. Alas, his naptimes are never the same after that. He would be scratching and then just making his eczema worse, and eventually preventing himself from falling asleep. I have come to savor him falling asleep to the point that I would put everything else on hold just as long as he has a good nap. Suffice it to say, making him sleep and having him sleep for quite some time is no easy feat, though it used to be months ago. We have reached a point where he wouldn't nap because he couldn't or because he was overstimulated, and as a result, he would be cranky at night too, which led me to the world of crankiness myself.

So Friday came. Hubby sat with the kids outside the auditorium, and every break time I would check on Baby Z, to see if he needed nursing. When he did, I would bring him into the auditorium and nurse him in a secluded area. He didn't sleep at his usual bedtime that Friday.

Saturday, he skimped on his morning nap, and didn't nap much in the afternoon. Saturday night, he woke up numerous times, and by Sunday morning, I woke up with a sprained neck, and couln't turn my head to the right without wincing in pain.

I nursed him around 8 am and by 8:50 he had fallen asleep. So I put him down and called Sg to ask if she would be able to pick me up. She couldn't because she had to go early. So close to 9 am, I woke hubby up and told him that we would take H and leave sleeping Baby Z with the girls so he could drop me off.

It wasn't one of the wisest decisions I have mad in my life, but that was the extent to which his sleep problems have plagued me. The repercussions of this was one that was too close for comfort. Only Allah's aid made it too close for comfort and short of a total disaster. Suffice it to say, the Sunday was the most exhausting day of the weekend for me.

Alhamdulillah the neck sprain abated by the end of the day, but throughout the day, there were so many mishaps that I was really worn down, and one thought that kept running through my mind was,

"I shouldn't have taken the class, maybe I should just ditch it and switch my name to hubby's, I should have known better."

However, I didn't run out of class despite the urge to do so, as the content of the class was, mashaallah, invogorating, beneficial, enlightening, and very substantial in providing one with an Eman Rush, alhamdulillah.

Plus, what kept me going was when the kids asked,

"So any stories?"

I told them about the reward for giving salams to the Prophet Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam, stories of Abu Hurayrah, Imam Bukhari, and that was only from one weekend.

Since AlMaghrib is not yet catered to children under 14, I guess I'll have to be the vessel that carries the ilm relayed by the instructors, and be the deliverer of that ilm to my progeny. What a responsibility.

Bring generosity to a new level:

answer a question with the answer and bonus information. The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasallam would sometimes answer a question and dish out more information to the questioner. This is one of the etiquettes of teaching from the sunnah, which was covered yesterday in class, mashaallah. It was also mentioned by Muhammad Alshareef in his audio lecture, 21 Teaching Techniques which we had for our Seats of Scholars class sometime ago. The reason behind this technique is taking into account the mode of reception the questioner is already in. Imagine our children asking us a question about anything. The fact that the child is asking the question already puts him in a position ready to receive information. We only need to input and he is ready to process it, as opposed to us forcing the child to digest information when he feels least disposed to even allow the fed information to enter his brain. Think back to times when we sit in languor in school, wishing that we could be outside and play instead, while the teacher drones on at the blackboard, explaining how the British occupied your country.

Imam Malik's Muwatta: Book 2, Number 2.3.12:

Yahya related to me from Malik from Safwan ibn Sulaym from Said ibn Salama of the Bani Azraq from al-Mughira ibn Abi Burda of the tribe of Bani Abd ad-Dar that he had heard Abu Hurayra speak about a man who came to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, "Messenger of Allah! We travel by sea and we do not carry much fresh water with us so if we do wudu with it we go thirsty. Can we do wudu with seawater?" The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, replied, "lts water is pure, and its dead creatures are halal."

In this hadith, the prophet sallallaahu walayhi wasallam answered the question and added,

"its dead creatures are halal."

The man never inquired about the halalness of dead creatures of the sea, but the prophet salllallahu alayhi wasallam generously offered than information anyway. Why?

The wisdom behind this is this particular technique in teaching. The mind of the questioner is already in 'input' mode, so it's especially receptive to receiving information. To optimize the input process when the mind is in this state is the epitome of using hikmah in teaching, subhanallah.


In the course of their childhood, our children will ask us a lot of questions, sometimes too much. Instead of giving curt replies, we should take advantage of these learning opportunities, and be generous.

So the next time your child asks you,

"Ummi, why is the sky blue?

You might want to answer,

"Because blue light is scattered more than the other colored light, and the angels drive the clouds to where Allah wants to bring rain."

However, if they ask,

"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

Use your hikmah and gauge their understanding, age, and the real question behind that much-feared question.

Gems from Chain of Command

Bring generosity to a new level:
answer a question with the answer and bonus information.

Menu on a poor memory:

The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasallam said there are two meals in a day; lobster and crab.



Though I really wouldn't mind that at all, plus all the other stuff the Somali fishermen throw back out to sea after the big catch.

Manners is a reflection of polished character.

How dusty are we?

Repetition breeds memorization, inshaallah!

What you cherish and love, you will never forget.

The difference between a person accepting dawah or not might lie in the embodiment of manners in the daa'ee.

The difference between a person accepting dawah or not might lie in the utilization of hikmah by the da'ee.

The technicality of something need not necessarily be known in technical terms and jargon to the one who truly masters the subject.

In no other science is the narrators in a chain more scrutinized and well known than in the Science of Hadeeth.

The Science of Hadeeth is so unique that it is incomprehensible to the non Muslims. The closest they could relate to was probably folktales and legends passed down from generation to generations by possibly unknown narrators in the chain.


Rice and banana may not be the best food combo for some people, or squid may seem appaling as a food item, just like dhabb was not appealing to the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasallam.

Somalia has the best food in the world, but unfortunately, they're thrown back to the sea after the catch.

Again and again, the differences among us is celebrated, highlighting:

Ar-Rum (30:22) And among His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colors. Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge.)

A Hujuraat (49:13) O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another.

And...again, this demonstrates the many lessons that can be extracted from a hadeeth. Subhanallah!

More gems to come inshaallah...with the elaboration, biiznillah.

Countdown to Chain of Command

3 more days till Chain of Command is here in Columbus. I had decided not to take it, due to the complications related to Baby Z. But after a curt and brief conversation with hubby, as we were about to get out of the van, everything changed.

"You're not taking the class?" I asked him.

He shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Too much for two people," he replied.

"Well, I'm not taking it," I stated, partly indignant that he still thought I was taking it despite my repeated declarations of not taking it because of Baby Z.

"Why not? Oh...just take it," he shot back at me.

"But Z..." I began.

"Alah...we'll make do somehow."

I hate it when he does that, but he always does, and in the end, I always succumb. As I stepped out of the van, I thought to myself,

Hmm..so I'm taking the class, eh?

But it seemed too easy and uncomplicated, and I know that there always will be complications, because I had encountered it before during Rays of Faith and Code of Scholars. A man is a man. Everything is simplified for him.

I posed him some challenge questions, in order to insert come probable complications that would take place.

"Then you can't man the registration tables."

"Ok, I'll tell them I can't," he acquisced.

"How are you going to heat up Baby Z's food?"

There are no microwaves in the campus buildings, at least not where the class will be held. No fridge either for that matter, and since Baby Z now eats rice porridge that I make for him, a fridge and a microwave are important essentials needed in the equation of him babysitting Baby Z while I take the class for two full weekends.

"Dry it, and then just add water," he said.

I did a double take in my mind while at the same time thinking,

Is he serious?

"You can't dry it, what do you mean?"

"You'll have to stay home some of the time so Baby Z can sleep properly, instead of in his stroller," I said.

See how I have to come up with the solutions?

We'll have to go there in the afternoon, because he will need your milk, and you can't go without nursing him for long," he said.

Well, I have to give him some credit, he did think about my being engorged, while I mainly thought of Baby Z's comfort and flaring eczema. 10 points for hubby!

So, it was decided then that I am taking the class, and that hubby will babysit the kids. I'm sure flexibility will be needed during those two weekends, and that no amount of planning will suffice or be realistic since Baby Z is the one who decides when he wants to nurse, so for now, we leave all the tiny, minute details out.

Time and time again, this point is raised:

The mother is the one most in need of these types of classes because she will be the one who is to raise and educate the children.

So may Allah aid me in seeking knowledge in order to benefit my family and myself in the long run. Ameen.

Big Sister Babysitter

Second weekend of Code of Scholars. Again, I struggle with the feat of attending the class via webcam. Yesterday we decided very last minute that I will attend it physically. I made a compromise with S.

They can run during the breaks while I take care of Baby Z. N and H are to help her. It was only 3 hours anyway, so we went for it.

I fed Baby Z before class started. Then I handed him to S. I went in the class.

At break time, I dashed out to check on them.

"A man gave Z pop tarts," they reported to me.

My heart made a double leap.

"Man, what man? Muslim man?"

"Did Z eat it?"

"What happened?"

Turned out that a 'teenage boy' offered them Pop Tarts, and one by one they refused, and then the boy proceeded to feed it to Baby Z. Twice S had pushed it away from Baby Z's mouth. The second time, Baby Z cried, apparently because he was about to lick it I guess.

All this while I am trying so hard to watch what Baby Z eats to see if he is allergic to anything. I was incredulous and furious. The issue of Pop Tarts being questionable in terms of its halalness also popped up.

I stood there in silence, contemplating ditching the class and sitting out there with them. However, I had come, and I should optimize it to attend the class physically. I commended S for being brave enough to push the Pop Tart away from Baby Z.

A while later, she showed me the boy who had offered Baby Z the Pop Tart. I debated whether to reprimand him or not. I chose not to, hoping that he won't do it again. He was holding a binder, so hopefully he would go to class after the break. I did follow him to the babysitting room, though, and when I asked who was in charge, they showed me a teenage girl. I went out of the room.

I told S to come to me in class if they have trouble with anymore people shoving food in Baby Z's mouth. Before I went in, I also told her not to let anyone pick Baby Z up. I still don't know what triggers his hives and eczema flare ups. It might be incense or perfume, and I know the sisters have those on.

"Only K, the Shs, R, Rq, and Fd. No one else," I told them. I had restricted it to only a few people who are allowed to pick up Baby Z.

"Just tell them your mom doesn't allow it," I added.

S has some trouble being assertive. She nodded.

When I came out of class she told me that a woman wanted to pick Baby Z up.

"I told her that my mom doesn't allow anyone to pick him up," she said.

Hubby said that we should buy her something, for babysitting Baby Z. We stopped at 7 Eleven.

"Mashaallah S, you protected your lil brother today," I commended her at home. She smiled her shy smile.

I really hate it when people try to feed your baby without even asking you. When I told hubby, he was shocked. Well, alhamdulillah Baby Z didn't get any Pop Tart in him. I've stopped even with the rice porridge, to see if his hives would come back. So far, his eczema is still the same, (worse) but he's free of hives.

Post Rays of Faith

"Is AlMaghrib over?"

"Yes, why, do you like it?"

"Yeah."

"What do you like about it?"

"Playing there."

"Talking to the people."

"Is the sheikh nice?"

"Yes, but he only smiled at me once. Sheikh Yaser Birjas smiled at me lots of time and he shook my hand," said H.

I admit it, I have AlMaghrib withdrawal syndrome right after the second weekend. For some reason, despite the harried two full weekends, you miss the atmosphere of learning for the sake of Allah. I miss it too.

I shared whatever stories/facts I could remember off the bat with the kids. And this is how AlMaghrib benefits us as a family, though I'm sure my story telling skills are way below par.

But, even though they didn't take the class, they miss the atmosphere too. Subhanallah...

Rays of Faith Weekend 1

Who would think that a baby could wreak such havoc in his mother's brain? I messed up big time in calendar reading last week.

1. I kept insisting that the aqeeqah we were invited to attend was on June 30 when it was on July 7.

"So are we going today?" I asked hubby.

"It's next week!" he replied for the umpteenth time.

"But you can go today if you want," he added.

2. I arranged for a couple friend to bring the kids to the library last Saturday for a program at the library since I was attending an AlMaghrib class while hubby watched Baby Z onsite. I had cooked lunch, invited them over, arranged the logistics and everything, and then...

"So did they attend the program?"

"It's next week," said T.

The librarian even asked T, while laughing,

"Do you want to camp out?"

July 14, became July 7 to me. I don't know how I could have botched the whole thing up!

And all this over fretting and worrying over how I would manage taking Rays of Faith with a nursing baby in tow. I don't pump, so hubby offered to babysit Baby Z onsite while I sit in class and dash out every break time to nurse Baby Z. So distraught was I over this arrangement, worrying that he might not get enough nursing sessions because the class was a full weekend, that I failed to read the calendar properly.

Alhamdulillah though, Friday was pretty ok, Saturday was very very tiring, and Sunday was good. Friday and Saturday, I was not able to concentrate in class that much as I kept thinking of Baby Z, and for several times, I kept giving him the wrong side that I was engorged on the other side. Sunday, I was getting the hang of it alhamdulillah. Baby Z also seemed to hang on to me everytime I nursed him, making me go in late in class each time after break. All in all, it's both hilarious and disturbing how a little baby can wreak such havoc in my mind.

And why am I taking the class and not hubby, when it's obvious that it would be easier and logical if he does instead of me?

Because, according to him,

"It would be more beneficial if she takes it because she will be the one raising the children."

"No, you should take it because you need to be educated because you are the one raising your children," said a friend, when I told her that it would be a lot easier if hubby takes the class rather than me.

May all husbands think this way. Ameen.

Z's First Hayl Meeting

Last Sunday Baby Z attended his first Hayl Meeting. Hubby had asked me repeatedly the night before if I wanted to go. I never answered because I didn't know how it was going to be Saturday night. However, Sunday morning, both Baby Z and I were awake at 8:30 am, so I thought, "Why not?"

We were 10 minutes late. Had to drop off SNH at Sh's house, pick up a brother, and deal with the stroller. B had already started the meeting when we got there, of course. As I sat down, Baby Z awoke. He wanted to nurse. I got out of the auditorium and sat in a nearby classroom.

As i turned on the lights, I couldn't help thinking about the Virginia Tech shooting. While he was nursing, I was thinking what it would be like were it to happen, nauzubillah. I guess that was the first time I have been in a campus classroom for quite some time. On saturday, we had some Indonesians over and over the course of our conv ersation, a sister mentioned of a research that found, that nursing mothers who are happy and smiling have healthier babies, because the quality of the milk is affected. Well, I hope to banish such sinister thoughts next time I nurse Baby Z, inshaallah.

As I struggled to burp him, he spit up big time. I went back inside the auditorium and lay him in his car seat. A few mionutes later, I heard a familiar sound from him. Apparently, he wanted a tour of the Hitchcock Hall, mainly the restroom. So I got up and took him to the restroom, which was on the first floor. That meant I had to go up one floor. He was smiling and cooing as I changed and talked to him. Yeah, sure, he was happy to get the tour.

We went back and I was able to remain in the auditorium for the rest of the meeting. As for Baby Z, as soon as we were getting into groups, he was passed around from one adoring fan to the other, suich that he wasn't able to take his nap. Later on at home, he napped for 3 straight hours! I had to wake him up because I was full.

Baby Z's first Hayl meeting. All the works.