Too much

I made a mistake yesterday, which led to meltdown on my part, at the end of the day. After that promising 'outdoor Arabic', I was encouraged to do everything else that we had talked about. I should have been wise about it, and not try to do everything at once.

I was only supposed to handle N's Quran reading, with the tafseer, but since hubby hasn't been doing the reading with S and H, I did it with them, with tafseer. At the time, it wasn't overwhelming, but at the end of the day, the repeat of nursing Baby Z for one hour, only to have him fresh and alert at the end of the hour led to my outburst.

I felt like I was doing everything, and even that, I wasn't even handling the memorization bit of the Quran with the kids. Meltdown description? Well, let's just say I retreated to my air-conditioned room, under the covers, while Baby Z screamed his lungs off, S and H sulked over their quarrel (which combined with Baby Z's reluctance to sleep, eventually led to my frayed nerves being lighted up), and N took in everything in her own stride. Hubby came home from the masjid to Baby Z's wails, and thought the kids were playing with him.

"Don't play with Z anymore. Go to sleep!"

I guess, it was only until he noticed that I was missing did he realize that something was amiss.

"Is Ummi mad?" he asked the kids.

After brooding on this, I remembered this mistake I had once also done before; doing tafseer with all of them. I had told myself, to learn from that mistake, and only do tafseer with one of them, and have the others listen. I can still recall the difficulties of scheduling lessons with the kids when Baby Z was younger, because of his nursing schedule. I had tried nursing him while teaching the kids, but that had robbed him of his much needed sleep. So I moved to the room, nursing him there till he falls asleep, but he always takes an hour to nurse before falling asleep. I couldn't train him to fall asleep by himself because of his eczema and allergies. When he starts scratching, that's it, I'm back to square one.

I had told the kids,

"The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasallam said that the best deed is that done continuously even if little. So the best deed is not necessarily someone praying 20 rakaah at night, but only that one night, but maybe praying 2 rakaah each night, but every night."

I explained to them how the best deed is not one that is done the most, but one that is done with consistency, and further explained to them why I had cut down their Quran reading to half a page per person (except for S) instead of a full page (to save me from burnout and stopping it altogether).

"But you read many pages when you were small," said H, reminding me of what I had told them of my childhood Quran reading experiences.

My Ustaz wouldn't tell me how much I would be reading each time, but would just tell me to read until he felt it was enough.

"Yeah, I sure did."

I couldn't come up with any explanations or elaborations.

Now, thinking back, I could probably have said,

"But he wasn't doing everything. Right now, I am."

Outdoor Arabic

We had a meeting again yesterday, to discuss how and when we're going to do Arabic, Tajweed, Memorization, and Quran.

"Who wants to be the scribe?" I exclaim.

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Ok, I'll ask again. Who raises his/her hand first gets to be the scribe. Ok, ready?"

"Who wants to be the scribe?"

"Ok, N's the scribe."

At the end of the meeting, we decided :

1. Arabic will be done outdoors, dictation-style, vocabulary-focused, in the mornings when we take our morning walks
2. Memorization will be done throughout the week
3. Review of memorized surahs will be done sub'ee-style between Zuhr and Asr
4. Quran reading will be done whenever I am available
5. Tajweed will be done between Zuhr and Asr (I just need 15 minutes for it)

So today, we commenced our Arabic at the 'big' playground in Buckeye Village.

The only thing that puts a damper on our schedule planning is Baby Z's schedule. His schedule has really taken some wild turns. I was beginning to think that he is settling down into a regular schedule, but apparently, I was proved wrong. I would spend an hour nursing him to sleep, only to have him alert and fresh at the end of the hour. Subsequently, I gave up trying to put him to sleep at the appropriate times, and only waited until he is somewhat sleepy, lest I spend hours nursing him to sleep but to no avail.

This morning, we had another one of those sessions where I nursed him both sides, for one hour total, and at the end, he started scratching his neck, and woke up.

"Kids! Take him, you guys go first, I'll catch up!"

I hollered to the kids in frustration, and proceeded to the bathroom to take my shower.

So they went ahead, all four of them, to the playground, while I showered and ate breakfast. When I got there, Baby Z was sitting demurely in his stroller, happy as a lark, and the kids were swinging.

"Where'd you guys want to do it? At that table over there?"

They were all excited to do the Arabic dictation. So, under the late morning sun, we all sat at the picnic table, and did our outdoor Arabic. The kids took out their folders containing loose leaf handwriting papers, and I opened our Gateway to Arabic Book 1 for some vocabulary. Meanwhile, Baby Z sat in his stroller, minding his own business, that is, until he began to stand up and gestured to be picked up.

While saddling him on my hips, I dictated the Arabic words to the kids. Fascinated by his surroundings, Baby Z pointed to everything, uttering soft babbles. Straddling him across my tummy, I held his back and swung him around like a helicopter propeller, to which he squealed in utter delight. After a while, he grew heavier in my arms, the kids' demand for more words, and having to check their spelling tired me. This was easier in theory than in practice, at least because of Baby Z. That is basically the summary of my experience homeschooling with a nursing baby; it's a vicious continuous cycle of juggling challenge, in fact, the ultimate juggling challenge, at least in my life experience.

Nevertheless, we did get our outdoor Arabic, plus some Quranic vocabulary. I guess I'll settle with that for now.

Unmotivated Child

I was reading a back issue of Home Education Magazine, and came across a question-answer article titled Stifled by Excellence. The questioner was a homeschooling dad who is troubled by his unmotivated 13 year old daughter who has been homeschooled by her mother who is a perfectionist. Her mother has given up in pushing her daughter to 'do school', and handed over the task to the father. The father was asking how he could change his daughter to have crave learning.

The problem sounds a little bit like the problem I was having with my kids, who would groan whenever I tell them to 'do school'. I had read about how 'public-school-at-home' deemed as homeschooling is actually detrimental to the status of traditional homeschooling in America, but in the chaos of 'schooling' my kids, I had not enough time to ponder over the matter. I knew in the depths of my heart that the 'school' I was imposing on my children are in a way making them hate 'learning'. In this way, they are no different than kids who go to school. But I was too caught up in worries of not having official records to show for their schooling when we go back to Malaysia, if we do (which I hope not for simplicity's sake- with regards to their schooling). Plus, hubby said that we could not afford to homeschool them the traditional way, and to keep doing the 'umbrella program' because the computer and other materials are free. So I did stick with it, until recently, thanks to the arrival of Baby Z, who made me rethink everything, and research everything again, with fresh eyes, and a new open mind.

The advice given to this problem is that of common sense. Well, it seems common sense to me now, at least. Instead of focusing to change the child, the father is advised to change himself first, build a relationship with his daughter, let his daughter pursue and discover her interests, and allow her to make mistakes. And instead of focusing on perfection and doing school, she should be allowed to explore the world at her own pace so she might discover her true interests. A love of learning is developed when it is not forced. That is true. I can say that from observation of my children and my own experience.

This morning, the three kids and I went out to play tennis, while Baby Z napped at home, with hubby to watch him. After tennis, which was not that productive because the morning was somewhat hot since we went a little late, around 10 am, so we headed for the library. Since the kids were already engrossed in their little 'research' and Powerpoint presentations, they were excited when I told them they could check out books. I grabbed my reserved book from the reserve shelf, and looked for the kids in the children's section.

They were nowhere to be seen. Suffice it to say, I was a little concerned, and headed for the van, thinking that they might be there, but they were not. So I went back to the library, and looked for them again. In my head, I was already thinking of child abduction. Lo and behold, I found them in the non fiction aisle in the adult section. The library had recently revamped its aisles, so all the non fiction books were put in the adult section.

I held my tongue, which was about to say,

"Where'd you guys go?! I was looking for you!"

Worry is commonly replaced by anger once the cause for worry is gone, isn't it? Especially when it concerns your loved ones.

I truly think the unschooling concept about allowing children to explore their own interest has a lot of merit. I already see it in action in my kids now. Alhamdulillah.

I also read another article about homeschoolers worrying about formal credentials. It was interesting to note that this is what most people worry about when considering unschooling in the complete sense. (The definition of unschooling plays an important role in this discussion). In the article, it was said that formal credentials such as degrees, diplomas, certificates and such are so prestigious today that none will dare to question their worth. However, in essence, when looking for a job, informal credentials are what will distinguish you from all the other people with the same formal credentials. Plus, it makes more sense to hone your strengths in developing your informal credentials than to put your nose to the grindstone to gather the formal credentials, while not knowing what your true interests are. This was true for me. I went into my major, just like everybody else, not having my heart in it, but only doing so because it was the normal thing to do.

Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to attain those formal credentials if you already know your interests beforehand. I only attained 'formal credentials' in my areas of interests after I graduated from college. I won't say my time in college is a waste, because it was what has shaped me into who I am today, but you have to admit that there are some things in life that you could have approached in a better way in order to optimize and maximize the output, here and in the hereafter.

Powerpoint Craze!

Well it seems like everyone is doing his/her Powerpoint presentation today. I woke up to find the kids on the computer, working on their 'current interest'; H - monkeys, N - cats, S -horses.

My urge to use the computer had to be suppressed because I didn't want to shoo them off while they're doing something rather 'beneficial' (at least to my schooled mindset). H and N had started on their Powerpoint files yesterday, and S, seeing both of them glued to the computer, followed suit, and shooed N off the computer upstairs, claiming that N had used the computer all day yesterday to work on PPT. Fancy that! Usually you shoo your sibling off the computer because you want to play a computer game!

I looked at N's PPT, and it turned out that she had merely googled the different breed of cats, copied and pasted the information about them in her PPT slides. So we talked about plagiarism, (again). The next time I looked at it, she had changed some things, but S said,

"No, she only changed a few words."

We talked about plagiarism again.

"But I don't know what to write," lamented N.

"See here, the graph. Maybe you can write, oh, this cat is very gentle, from looking at the docility level from the graph," I said.

After that I think she got the idea.

As for H, he's on a roll with his monkey business!

"Ummi, do you know the difference between ape and monkeys?"

"No."

"Apes don't have tails!"

"Oh!" Now, I really didn't know that. That was news to me. Pretty interesting!

I found dictionary.com opened as tabs on the browser. Apparently, they were looking up words they don't understand from what they were reading on their subject matter.

"Ummi, what's mutilated?"

"Oh, it means when you cut off limbs, and pieces of your body. Hamzah Abdul Mutallib was mutilated because Hind ripped his liver out."

He looked at me, glasses sliding down his nose, giving him that old professor look, and nodded.

"Colobus is Greek for mutilated."

Ahh...I received another interesting piece of information.

Were I to write down all that they're doing now, educationalesed of course, it would probably look like this:

S:

Science: Hands on experience observing wildlife in a nearby creek. Learned to distinguish a groundhog from a beaver. Observed a beaver/groundhog hole. Looked up information about beavers/groundhogs in books and the internet. Used the dictionary to look up words she doesn't know.

Math: Measured out ingredients for making pizza. Used the timer. Counted her savings, and updated it on her online ledger, subtracting and adding new amounts.

Technology: used Microsoft Powerpoint. Looked up information on the internet. Used the online dictionary. Found images on the internet, related to her research, and manipulated them in her Powerpoint slides.

and so on...except I didn't really keep track of all the resources they used. I can see how this might work already.

But for now it seems that we're having Powerpoint Mania. Good thing I didn't let them play outside yesterday, and they're already sick and tired of the computer games.

Left on Their Own

We have been having blissful days of unschooling. Our daily schedule is roughly like this now:

Fajr -> Quran -> breakfast -> feed Baby Z breakfast -> play outside -> lunch -> feed Baby Z lunch -> chores ->Zuhr -> naptime -> reading/computer games -> Asr -> play outside -> dinner -> feed Baby Z dinner -> maghrib -> Isha -> bedtime

Well, the kids' schedule that is. Playing outside seems to provide them with a lot of hands on science lessons in the animal kingdom. Like always, they come back and chatter excitedly about the animals they found in the creek; frogs, beavers, groundhogs, fish.

Recently, they came home and told me they had built their home out of twigs and branches, and that each of them have their own rooms. I have yet to see this place. It reminds me of Bridge to Terabithia.

When they're home, they're either reading or playing computer games. I have to admit, I got hooked up on Pacman too at times, such that they had to tell me to stop. Nevertheless, after a while, they tired of playing computer games, and would go outside either to explore or play with the neighbor. For a while, they stayed indoors, prompting me to ask them,

"You guys are not playing outside today? How come?"

"There's nothing to do outside. We just ride our bikes and that's it."

I thought to myself,

"It's high time I get my behind off the computer chair and take them somewhere. It's summerish anyway."

Today, we went out in the morning. We were supposed to leave the house at 8:30 a.m. (my chosen time), but we ended up leaving around 9:45, what with all the eating, bathing Baby Z, getting the stuff in the van, nursing him. Alhamdulillah we weren't rushing. We did some grocery shopping, went to the library, and another library, and went back home.

H and N were forbidden from going out after Asr today because I had to remind them (not too patiently at that) to do their chores, when it is well known that chores come naturally after lunch.

"Can I do my orangutan essay on Powerpoint?" H asked me as I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner.

"You want to do an essay?"

"For fun?"

"Yeah."

I paused for a few seconds before exclaiming,

"Yeah! Go ahead! That's very good!"

"Me too!" chimed N, who was silently finishing her dinner.

"On cats?" I asked.

"Yes."

Before dinner, she brought the encyclopaedia of cat breeds to me to show me the different cats. This is her 'current interest'.

She was even reading a non fiction book on the History of cats, earlier today, that I remember thinking,

"Hmm...she seems to be the one most thriving in unschooling. S and H are obedient and submissive in schooling, but in unschooling, they don't seem to have that much 'fire', but N seems to flourish."

I was reading Christian Unschooling today, and one thing struck me regarding math. Consumer math (making change, balancing checkbooks, etc) can be learned naturally in daily life, or with some assistance. The author of the book said that she focuses on consumer math, and for the other types of math, if her children wish to pursue them later on, it will be up to them.

It kind of makes sense. I don't use the calculus I learned in college. I could have used that time to enhance my writing skill (something I'm interested in, only, I didn't realize I was interested in writing because of the schooling mindset plus the societal expectations that ruled all of the schooled children's lives).

So, I guess we will continue this relaxed experimental unschooling, and see how it goes. So far, I think the kids have learned a lot, all on their own, mashaallah. A take home message I got today from my reading about unschooling:

You're mostly a facilitator rather than a teacher. A huge difference indeed!

Bubbles in the Air!

Here I am, busy putting clocks on my blog. Baby Z is napping, I'm supposed to be studying, the kids are all downstairs up to something.

I trust them enough not to wonder what they're doing and continually ask,

"What are you guys up to now?"

Since we went to the library yesterday, they got more books, and for the time being are occupied enough not to play games on the computer.

"If we have books to read, we won't be playing games," S reasoned.

These past few days they have been spending a lot of time on the computer, playing games, much to hubby's and my consternation. Alhamdulillah though, they only go to the permitted websites.

Yesterday, we babysat a neighbor's son, because their newborn is in NICU (May Allah heal the baby. Ameen). He brought his own CD Arthur game, and we let him play it on the computer downstairs while we prayed Maghrib and Isha upstairs. At one point he asked H to go to Cartoon Network website, and I only knew because H said to him,

"We're not allowed."

I was there, and curious about the exchange that just happened, which I didn't really hear, I asked H,

"What's not allowed?"

"Cartoon Network."

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. The child knows, and abides by it, mashaallah.

Today, just now, H came upstairs, and I excitedly showed him my new clocks on the blog. After peering at the screen for a few measly seconds, uttering a mild "Oh," he exclaimed,

"Ummi, we made bubbles. You wanna see it?"

"With what?" I asked.

"With Ajax."

They're playing with my dishwashing liquid. Hey!

"Yeah, sure," I replied.

He bounded downstairs and came back in a flash with a yellow plastic bowl filled with the buble solution, and a twist tie formed into a bubble blower ring. Dipping the bubble blower into the solution, he then proceeded to blow huge firm bubbles in the room.

"They're so firm too! They don't break, they even bounce on the floor!" he expressed with enthusiasm.

"Mashaallah!"

Apparently, N had started making bubbles, and they had tried it first with the handsoap, but it dodn't really work.

"Hmm..why do you think it didn't work that well?" I asked H.

"Hmm..maybe it was too creamy..Oh yeah! it's too creamy," he concluded.

"Hmm, hey maybe you can test other soaps, and write down your results and compare which soap makes the best bubbles!" I was overcome with excitement as well.

"Yeah, that' like Zoom," he said.

"And you have your hypotheses, your materials, experiments, and then you can write down your results! Get a notebook," I suggested.

Within a few minutes, we I'm typing, H is busy with blue, red plastic bowls, a measuring spoon to measure the amount of soap, and the soaps he's testing.

Ahh...another unschooling moment. Hubby, take note.

Life Skills Overlooked

One of the books in my stack of library books is Help for the Harried Homeschooler. Although catered for Christians, apparent from the quoted verses of the Bible, I find the values to be similar.

I was particularly struck by one section talking about how to handle homeschooling in the midst of moving. The author appeases anticipated worries of homeschoolers over their children missing out on academical learning during the process of moving by highlighting the advantage of learning life skills.

I have to say, even though I have changed my mindset with regards to approaching learning, I am still a schooler at heart. It has been too ingrained in most of us, that it's kind of difficult to view non academic learning as learning. So I would be one of the homeschoolers addressed in that section.

It made me ponder, though. Life skills; labelling packed boxes, observing the process of changing addresses, organizing boxes, and everything else associated with moving, definitely are important skills too. This has truly been an enlightening journey for me, to discover and rediscover, and step outside the box, and see schooling and learning from a different perspective.

Mothers sometimes spare their daughters from any work in the kitchen or house because their daughters have to spend the time studying so they will get good grades, and achieve what the mothers never got to achieve when they were growing up. I won't get into this issue, but just wanted to put it out there, again.

Why do we often overlook life skills? Life skills are important, and I always found myself stressing over the kids not learning anything academic, thereby overlooking all the learning they are going through in our daily lives. Is academic the only thing that matters now? You still have to know how to manage a house, the car, yourself, your surroundings.

Homeschooling provides more than an education. It provides the tools to live life, inshaallah. When the children are not learning anything that seems academic, they are not 'not doing anything beneficial'. Their play are medium for learning, and it is this freedom to live life naturally that homeschooling provides. Domestic skills are very low nowadays, and from my observation, most women now are often at a loss at home, and this is when they exclaim at their stay-at-home mothers counterparts,

"I don't know how you can stay home! I'd go crazy!"

We have been trained and raised to value academics over life skills, such that most women nowadays are lacking the skills needed to fulfill their natural roles in the society. May we not make the same mistake, for our girls and our boys, inshaallah.

Miscellaneous

Alhamdulillah life post OHVA is lighter and freer. Almost every morning now, if the sun is out and shining, I send the kids outside, and tell them to take Baby Z along. No, I don't get to really sit down and have coffee and read the morning newspaper, but I can now tidy up the house, take a shower and sit down at the computer in an empty household. However, I have started telling them to make sure the house is tidy before they dash outside to frolic in the morning sun. It's very frustrating to be doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast and walk into a messy living room or rooms, and no one to hail to do my bidding. As I struggle to complete writing my article assignments, I also struggle finding time to sit down long enough without being interrupted by a baby needing to nurse, a baby dropped in the living room as his sibs return back outside to continue their outdoor play, and a set of rowdy children banging the door behind them as they barrel in the front door.

Not so much freedom for me, but alhamdulillah baby Z's eczema seems to have abated significantly ever since his nap schedule became regular.

Since I wasn't that busy logging in hours, attendance, checking lesson progress, and dealing with a myriad of issues pertaining to the OLS of OHVA, I've been able to actually nurse Baby Z in peace, albeit it being an hour straight at a time. We're all much much happier now, and I've even started to take interest in baking again.

I coaxed them to bake something for themselves, and one day they made meringue cookies. Yesterday they made cookies to make ice cream sandwiches with. As for me, I baked myself my Namaste Carrot Cake again, but this time using Ener-G egg replacer, hoping for a normal cake. Alas, I seem to have taken the cake out too soon, and all I got was a gummy, spice-laden carrot cale. At least, I think that's the problem. Nevertheless, I'm only more determined to experiment until I get it right. So I'm inshaallah going to play around with cake recipes or if I'm lucky, after doing more reading on the chemistry revolving different kinds of flours, I might come up with my own recipe.

H had his last soccer game of the season this morning. He scored a goal, and the weather was really pleasant too, allahu akbar. I had boiled some corn for them this morning and we brought the whole pot with us. As usual, hubby stood on the sidelines and churned out shouts after shouts of encouragement, commands, comments, and amused disappointment throughout the whole game. S was busy chomping on a corn, and calmly, she asked her father,

"Wanna a corn?"

"No, not now. I'm shouting," he replied, not taking his eyes off the players on the field.

"That's why he needs the corn," S said to me, and I burst into laughter.

We finally bought gates to put at the kids' doorway, the kitchen hallway, and the front door hallway today. The house hasn't been child-proofed for Baby Z, as I anticipated moving out, but it's not happening anytime soon it seems. Handy S and H set up the gates, much to their parents' pleasure, especially hubby's. He wasn't that enthusiastic about putting them up, but alhamdulillah we have some handykids around. Proud of their handiness they are too!

As for me, I am still buried under the task of reading my high stack of books, and have yet to finish my writing assignments, which has been driving me crazy to say the least. I just realized that I have only spent Ramadan in Malaysia in my 'childhood', since I came here at the age of 20 and have spent Ramadan here ever since. I have never experienced Ramadan as a wife and mother in my home country. How sad is that? Nevertheless, it sure has some perks too, alhamdulillah.

And alhamdulillah, my lengthy nursing times in the room have been spent listening to Anwar Awlaki's Umar Ibn A-Khattab, and suffice it to say, it has infused me in this ethereal world of the sahaba. Even Baby Z looks forward to the lecture whenever it's time to nurse for his naps and bedtimes. Life with Baby Z is much much more enjoyable now, especially because I'm finally able to relax into a schedule that is more like the one I'm used to when S, N, and H were younger.

Without the pressure and hassle of OHVA, life seems much more relaxing. Plus, the weather is still spring-like, though the flowers on the trees have mostly dispersed, leaving the trees green, making it look more like summer.

Inshaallah it seems like I'm taking the next Almaghrib class: Seerah, the Shepherd's Path in mid June, even though I said I probably won't. Circumstances inshaallah have changed such that it would be quite possible for us to do it with less hassle than before, bi iznillah. I look forward to this class.
So now, before I feel like I have wasted my time yet again on the computer, while two writing assignments are yet to be finished, I'd better sign off, and wait till much later before I finish up those 4 drafts sitting in my blogger account. Plus, I have a one year old who is starting to wail because he is probably bored because all his sibs have left him with his mother who is on the computer typing away, and hubby, as he does every Saturday evening, has gone off to play soccer. A mother never gets to completely rest, does she? In Jannah inshaallah, in jannah.

A Taste of Jannah - not even close...

H now has soccer practice every Wednesday at 6 p.m. Last Wednesday, the rest of us tagged along. We brought out 'tree hunting' kit comprising of ziploc bags for 'specimens', crayons to make bark rubbings with, ruler, sketch books, index cards, and not to forget, our Eyewitness Tree Field Guide from the library! We also brought along the camera and camcorder, without which, I wouldn't be able to put up these fabulous photos, alhamdulillah!

While hubby and H went to the field, S and N left for the playground, leaving me with Baby Z in the van. I nursed him till he was satisfied, and then we went to join the rest of the family. Baby Z got his subsequent swing experience, and had this solemn expression throughout.


We then decided to go to the duck pond and do some tree hunting, the girls and I, and we wheeled Baby Z along. We happened to have a board book for him and so absorbed was he in his book, that it took quite some time for me to have him look at me, and the surroundings! Too busy counting, I suppose. Wahid, Isnain, Thalaatha....

The girls climbed some trees, while I looked through the field guide.


East Siberian Crap Apple blossoms

Malus Purpurea blossoms

N did some bark rubbings and we collected some flowers to examine, and voila! We pinpointed two trees: the East Siberian Crab Apples tree and the Malus Purpurea! Amazing! Subhanallah!

Malus Purpurea

By the end of it all , it started to drizzle and as hubby honked at us to come in the van, we scrambled in. It was a nice spring evening, alhamdulillah. May we be reunited in Jannah to enjoy splendors that no eyes have seen, no ears have heard, and no tongue has tasted. Ameen. No rushing to go home either...

Self-initiated Activities

I had bought these books containing science experiments and activities for homeschoolers, but have never been really able to do much of them due to our filled schedule with OHVA lessons. With OHVA lessons coming to a close, alhamdulillah, those books are getting a breath of fresh air.

H has been conducting his own experiments, as evident from the frequent surprises I get when I open my freezer. Unfortunately I have had to chuck his experiments of frozen mud, snow balls, and what not to make more space for the chicken and meat.

He was the first to be done with his OHVA lessons, so he was the first to be' 'let out' of 'school' so to speak. He came to me one day with an empty soda bottle, and asked what to mix together to make the bottle cap pop open.

"Baking soda and vinegar," I said.

"Oh...I have some books on science experiments you can read," I added, as I remembered those books sitting dormantly in the metal cabinets.

"Yeah!" H exclaimed in glee.

I never thought I would actually make use of those books. Throughout the years, I have eyed them, flipped through them, only to put them back in the cabinets, and proceed to finish up their school lesson plans. Finally, after all these years, I'm able to hand them to the kids, and give those pages some breathing room.

Before long, all three were up to something, and before I knew it, they had tried out several experiments from the books.

"Look Ummi, we made play clay!"

A hotdog, a long sandwich, a burger and a normal loafbread sandwich!

I had noticed my saucepan sitting on the kitchen table, covered with a quilted cloth. When I peeked inside, I only saw green water. I left it alone though. What they showed me was a green blob of clay they had made all by themselves by following the instructions from the book. Voila! Self-initiated activities! No work on my part! Is this great or is this great?

H made a Y boomerang, and N tried out a blind spot experiment, which she claimed was a 'lie' after all. The kids are really artists with clay, especially N and S. They had created a living jungle, complete with trees, food, a garden, all from clay. Even I don't have that dexterity or skill to mold such things from clay. Alhamdulillah their creativity has not been inhibited, like mine.

H and N are in a ceramics class, and recently, N gave me a 'Daisy Bowl' which she had made especially for me. H gave me a vase, in which he put some blossoms from one of those trees I am also oohh and aahing over.


H's vase for Ummi from the ceramics class

Now, S has also finished her OHVA lessons, except for a few more of History, and she has one more test in the series of Ohio Achievement Tests, whereas N has two tests next week, and is at present finishing up her math, literature and composition inshaallah.

Opossum Playing Possum?

"Ummi! Ummi! We found an opossum!"

"Yeah! Yeah! It was bleeding, and ..."

"It's so big! Like this! Ummi..."

"Its ears, the tips are cut off, and ..."

"The tip of its tail is cut off! It's bleeding too!"

First of all, I don't even know what an opossum is supposed to look like, and wondered how in the world these kids knew for sure it was an opossum. Second, I thought opossums only live in Australia. Third, is our neighborhood turning into a zoo?

The kids have a natural love for animals, especially S. I don't know how and where she developed this love from, because I'm not an animal person, but I'm glad she developed it somehow. When the weather's nice they would ask if they could play outside, and if the time is right, I would usually nod and give them permission. They know that in summer, the time between 12-3 pm is a no-no, as the sun's at its zenith and the most damaging to the skin. So since the weather has been really nice alhamdulillah lately, they have been spending a lot of time outside.

When they come home, there's always a new animal they had discovered.

"Ummi! We found a dead rabbit near the white house!"

"Ummi! There was a big cat!"

I'm beginning to worry about them finding carrions like these. Something sinister is going on in our neighborhood, at least in the animal kingdom, it seems to me. I keep telling them,

"Don't go to close to the dead animals."

Recently, they came home all excited, saying they found a beaver.

"A beaver?" I responded.

"Don't beavers like near lakes? We don't have lakes near here," I continued.

Each time I would ask them how they know it's that particular animal, especially when it's beavers and marsupials like the opossum. Keep in mind, I don't even know how these animals look like, necessarily.

They would however, churn out the details of the characteristics of each animals, practically laying out their evidences for their hypotheses.

"Well, it has those two front teeth! And we found a hole too!"

It was days later that I remembered that we do have a river nearby, thanks also to the kids' keen observation of their surroundings.

"That hole must lead to the river!" they concluded.

If I was not restrained at home by a baby, and able to reclaim some of my childhood enthusiasm, I would have gone gallivanting with them on these curious and exciting animal adventures. Ahh...how wonderful it is to be a kid!

I keep telling them,

"You can write animal mystery stories from all these finds!"

The day before yesterday though, they came home and there was much ado about this opossum they found lying next to a bush.

"How do you know it's an opossum?" I asked.

"Well, it has paws like a dog, small round ears, its tail is coarse, and it snout is long but piggish looking."

Okay, that didn't really convince me, but then again, I didn't know what an opossum looks like, so I took their word for it.

The next day (yesterday), in the morning, they asked me if they could bring it home. Hubby and H had cycled past it on the way to the masjid the night before, and apparently it was still there. I said yes. A few minutes later, I was standing at the bottom of the stairs, front door open, and the kids were holding a box containing the opossum outside.

"I'm scared," I admitted, as they excitedly beckoned me to come closer to see it.

They laughed. However, gingerly, I took a few steps forward and peeked, expecting to see something black and rattish. I tried hard to keep the oncoming shudders at bay. What I saw was cream colored coarse fur. It was big, like a cat. I could see it heaving, so it was still alive.

"Poor thing, " I said, as we all concluded that it was cold.

I handed them an old sweater and they covered it with it, and placed the box at the door of the boiler room in our apartment block. Throughout the day, I could hear the front door being opened and closed more than 5 times as they dashed out to check on their opossum. And when they're inside, they googled opossum, and learned about what it eats, what it can do and what it is not good at. I helped them google the wildlife rehabilitation center. We even called and I left a message. Meanwhile, we emailed hubby, telling him that we need to take it to the rehab center, but since he was busy, he told us to take it to the BV office instead and he emailed them about it.

Later on during the day, they bounded in and exclaimed,

"It's moving! Scratching itself!"

"Hmm, so is it even injured?" I asked, worried that we have now transported an opossum that is probably playing possum.


"Well, its tail is still bleeding, and its ears too!" S reasoned.

It wasn't until today that the wildlife rehab center returned our call, and just now, she told us to bring it in as it sounded like it was attacked by a dog.

Well, since hubby is busy, I suppose I will have to drive the kids to the wildlife rehab center later today, after my doctor's appointment inshaallah. I'm not too excited at the prospect of bringing a wild animal in the van with four kids, considering the possibility that it might try to get out of the box and send a flurry of fleas on allergy-prone Baby Z.

Nevertheless, we found a wealth of interesting information on opossums on the internet as a result of our googling yesterday. Another one of those 'learning experiences' in our homeschooling journey.

Meanwhile, I will try to calm my incoming anxiety of driving to an unfamiliar place with a wild animal in the back. With the kids' propensity towards actively looking for any animals they can find around here, what animal will it be next, I wonder.

Hmm...unschooling?

I stumbled upon a website yesterday, while looking for resources on handling sibling fights. As I squint and peer closely at the screen (though hubby had taught me how to make the font bigger, I can't be bothered to do it, and stuck with doing it the 'hard' way, as opposed to the 'smart' way), the concepts of unschooling are both shocking and interesting to me. I had read of John Holt. I somewhat agree with him.

I do think the unschooling approach has merits, but my struggle is applying those concepts to raising Muslim children. I haven't finished reading everything on the website, and I intend to, but before I lose it, I thought I would ramble here for a while, thinking out loud in the form of writing. I usually mull over things for days, and hubby knows when this happens because I can be found sitting and staring into space in silence. This now, is my current object of rumination, until I come up with a personal perspective or take on it.

I searched for unschooling Muslims and this was one of the sites I found. The writer said that a mix of methods is what homeschoolers usually do, and I have learned about this earlier to be called eclectic homeschooling.

As for complete unschooling, N and H did learn to read roughly on their own without me actively 'teaching' them. The drive to read for them was internal. They also did learn to use the computer by themselves without needing me to actively 'teach' them. N didn't know how to ride a two-wheeler until after Baby Z was born. While S and H were falling off and getting back on their two wheelers, N hung back, not even wanting to try. I am beginning to think that maybe unschooling would be a good approach for her especially. Hubby is backing off from having her memorize the Quran like he's doing with the other two, and maybe that is the wise thing to do. Right now, I'm struggling with teaching her to read the Quran. Should I back off too, until she's ready to learn it with an internal drive?

I suppose if you think deeply about it, unschooling makes a lot more sense than the schooling system. You do learn what you need to know when the time is right, and when you need to learn it. Of course, by saying this, I'm completely contradicting myself with all the Glenn Doman bit. But as always, I am open to new ideas, of course with a limit. As Muslims we have our ground zero, where some things are non-negotiable, but things to do with muamalat, we are freet to explore and figure out the method that works best for us.

For now, I don't like to stick with just one method and follow it blindly. So I will, for now, take what makes sense to me from this philosophy and apply it to our homeschooling journey, inshaallah. May Allah continue to guide me and all of us mothers in raising our children . Ameen.

Ummi Can Juggle 3 Balls!

"Your kids told me you can juggle!"

I almost snorted in the absurdity of the statement, brought about by my kids advertisement of their 'mommy juggler'. And I could sense the 'can you really do it?" request for confirmation creeping up on me.

"Nahh...I can't. They just think I can," I replied, hoping I didn't have to demonstrate my 'abilities'.

What made my kids blab about my juggling? I had, in one of those 'mommy is silly' moments attempted to juggle three balls. Of course, I can't really do it without having balls bouncing all over the place, but the sheer attempt brought back memories of my solitary childhood days where I told myself I would break the world record by skating non stop circles, do skating stunts and other ridiculous things. So yes, I did attempt to juggle three balls, and for maybe a few seconds I am able (yup, present tense) catch all three balls before I turn into butterfingers. But that doesn't mean I can juggle.

Metaphorically, I also can't juggle three kids without having balls bouncing all over the place. As it is in juggling three balls, maybe for a few measly seconds or minutes I am probably able to keep things from getting out of control, but for the most part, I am not in control. All I can say is, Allah has a hand in getting things done around here.

When I was homeschooling just S, in my gullibility, I did every activity the K12 curriculum provided. I gave my all and I can say now, looking back, that I did do that with an 'ihsaan' mindset. It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty close. Meanwhile, H and N learned how to read by themselves, because I was too busy 'homeschooling' S. Before I knew it, they were reading books, making mistakes, learning from their mistakes, all on their own. Suffice it to say, I felt really guilty for that, but I didn't know about this 'this is what you want to happen eventually' mentality back then. Thinking back, I guess, we did achieve one of the objectives of homeschooling; they were becoming self motivated learners. All by the Grace of Allah, walhamdulillah!

When N started kindergarten, I was then faced with two students to homeschool. My feathers were slightly ruffled, but switching between two students was still manageable. I even took pride in my ability to juggle the two while keeping my sanity intact. I would work with S, leave her with some individual work to do, then work with N, leave her with some individual work to do, and switch back to S. Sometimes, one of them would wait on me, especially if they had a question, and these were the times I would feel panic. But it wasn't until H came into the homeschooling scene that my hairs were standing on end.

So I asked this stupid question to one homeschooling mom.

"What do you do when you're teaching one child, and another child is waiting to ask you something?"

"Tell her to do something else while waiting for you," she replied.

At the time, the solution seemed so brilliant and ingenious, but now, my question just seemed dumb.

So H came into the picture, and there I was homeschooling three children, with a curriculum that is better fitted for single or double students. I didn't realize it then, but the way the whole curriculum works, or is supposed to work, you would have to do major modifications to accommodate a family with multiple children. Alhamdulillah though H was already reading on his own, so I skipped the Phonics lessons. I somewhat skipped it with N too, but since there were only two of them then, I still did most of the lessons, even though she was already reading too. Again, Allah came to my aid, and I began to notice that it got easier with the subsequent child, because:

1. you somewhat have the experience, so you're just going over the same material again with a different child
2. the child seems to have absorbed some of what is being taught by mere exposure to the lessons, indirectly, while the older child was being taught in the previous year

N and H would listen in as I did lessons with S when it was just S in school, so I suppose it was no surprise that they would catch on pretty quickly on some of the lessons when it was their turn.

However, as the years passed by, I noticed that H was moving at an even higher pace than N. This year, I had requested that H be moved up to do 3rd grade Language Arts so it would be easier for me to manage school overall. He was already doing 3rd grade maths, so when he was moved up to 3rd grade language arts, the only thing he was doing at his grade level, was Science. I thought it would be easier to manage, but subhanallah, the curve balls you get in life, are truly relentless and countless.

H surpassed N, and again, I was faced with the problem of juggling three kids who were working at different levels everyday. The switching between kids became more of a stress-inducing activity for me. I had no pride left then, only exhaustion. My technique, was to try and assign two children to do something they could do by themselves, and work with the remaining child. In theory, it was doable, but in practice, it didn't quite work out so well, especially when a child had a question or was stuck, and the child I was working with took longer than usual to be done needing me. That was when the monster in me would surface.

As things progressed, (yes, alhamdulilla things did progress, again, all due to Allah's help) the kids became more independent, needing me less and less, and ended up doing their lessons by themselves. Again, guilt crept in, but I was pregnant at the time. I had begun to use a small portable white board to write up their daily To Do Lists, and they would go by this each day, not needing me to tell them what do next. As Allah makes some things easy and some things hard, they also began to develop more ability to learn things on their own, except maybe not so much for N. Of course, I still needed testing, don't I? So, that is my test; N.

And now, H is done with his math, and everything else, and only has composition left to finish. N has that, and math, and Literature. S, well, S is already working on her own except on very few things that still require my instructions.

At the end of this school year, I will have used the K12 curriculum for 6 years. I wouldn't say it was all bad, because our experiences are what makes us what we are, and I have to say that all the experiences, despite being stress-inducing for me, and maybe torturous to the kids, have taught them some things about themselves, and helped them develop some new abilities I had not planned to cover. After doing some reading, I am now ready to leave the ship and embark on my own boat. I have learned a lot of valuable things from the K12 curriculum, and from the OHVA teachers especially, and I hope to use that as my base experience to continue on in our voyage inshaallah.

As for juggling three kids, I think I have never really honed the skill, but I believe that Allah makes some things easy for us when other things are difficult. Life is dynamic, things are always changing, depending on how we react, and throughout my 3o something years of life, I have noticed that pattern. We are tested based on our weaknesses and strengths. If we are tested with something, that means we have the strength to overcome it, for Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capabilities, but that doesn't mean we are already strong in that aspect. And when things are not within your control, sometimes Allah eases some things. That way, we can't really say that it's all due to our doings, because we are not in control of everything. It's amazing how humbling life's tests make us, because each and everyday, we are reminded that He is the one in control, but yet, at the same time, He has given us free will to garner some control ourselves.

So, while my act of kid-juggling has been somewhat aided by Allah, maybe I should work on juggling those three balls, eh?

The Doodling Solo

As I have expressed countless times before, I don't have a good grip or handle on N's style of learning. Let's just say she displays a lot of the symptoms associated with Middle Child Syndrome. I am to blame for that, as handling four kids, (one of them a nursing baby, two of them a quarreling duo and of the same learning style, and then one of them N), is pretty taxing on the nerves, mental, and emotional capability.

I admit to not giving her as much attention as she should be getting. Thus, I truly savor the times when hubby leaves the house with both S and H, leaving me with N and Baby Z.

It is at these times that I am able to finally spend one on one time with N. She speaks very softly, and sometimes you can barely hear her, so being able to talk to her without feeling you have to rush to tend to someone else is really enlightening and refreshing. I can already see from her writings that she has a lot to offer in terms of personality, but because I'm hitting on the accelerator most of the time, I'm not able to get to know her really well. When I do, mashaallah, it feels great.

It's really a good family/parenting habit to make sure you spend one on one time with each child, and actually set aside that time. I have always resolved to do that, but I have failed each time. My most immediate response to why that is so would be: there's no time. But I know deep in my heart, that I have to make and find that time. That is still a work in progress, as of right now.

Subhanallah, I always wonder how mums with more than 5 children manage this. I recently met a mom with 9 children, the oldest being 15 and the youngest 3 months old. I have seen big families, and what I have always noticed is that when there are so many children, the children begin to take care of each other. Which makes a lot of sense, because the mother cannot afford to tend to each and every one of them all the time. So a young sibling might be tucked under the wings of an older one, and this is actually very heart melting to see, mashaallah.

I only have four live children, and I have trouble managing them. May Allah make it easy for me and guide me to manage my time more wisely. Ameen.
I was throwing out their finished OHVA workbooks, but before we finally dumped these books in the recycling bins, I figured I had to snap some pictures, for these are precious in and of themselves. N has always taken so long to finish her work, and she is always the last to 'finish school' on most days. Apparently there is a reason for that; she doodles her time away. Her mind works at a different wave length, in her own world, on her own time. I always rush her, just because everything else moves at a certain pace, and she is always behind, but no matter how much I rush her, she's always a step behind. Looking at these drawings (as creative as they are, and as amusing) I guess you can easily tell why.

Sure, now I can look at them and laugh, chuckle, chortle, giggle and be filled with motherly mirth, and okay, maybe a little motherly pride, but hand me these on a busy homeschool day, and I will rear my ugly monster head and bark at the guilty party. That is one reason I want to quit OHVA very very soon. Let's just say all the lessons they have us do leave us very little time to do anything else (and I'm not the only homeschool mother who have used the curriculum with the school to say that).

As we rid our small apartment of these clutter, my mind is able to relax at the space they leave behind. I feel like rubbing my hands with glee at the prospect of finally chucking all of them once we are done with this school year. Then, we can finally get on with 'homeschooling'. I have been writing up my own lesson plans, and I really hope I am able to do this, inshaallah. May Allah's guidance always be with us. Ameen.

Each child is special in his/her own way. What a challenge parents face, as a direct result of that fact, but what a pleasure parents are bestowed with, to be able to change gears to accommodate those differences. May I be one of those parents who are able to change gears without losing their cool and swerving to avoid hitting a tree. Oh Allah, guide me with patience and wisdom to manage my children in the best way. Ameen.

Grammar-challenged Mother

"So did you learn about Grandma today?" my father would ask me every time he picked me up from my English tuition classes.

He would say Grandma on purpose, and I would nod. Not having had the opportunity to learn English growing up, my father placed a huge importance in having me learn the language from a very early age. It worked. To such an extent that hubby continuously makes fun of my Bahasa Melayu.

I don't enjoy the subject though, and when I tried to learn Arabic from an American friend who has a degree in Arabic, married to an Arab, and speaks the language, I struggled with the grammatical jargon.

"You can't teach Arabic in English," was what she would say, and I have to agree.

In desperation of looking for a job, a friend even suggested I take TESL so it would increase the chance of us landing a job in the middle east. I considered it, along with the other pile of 'ambitions' I have waiting to be achieved.

S has been doing her Grammar Usage and Mechanics by herself lately. I always feel guilty when they have to do school by themselves, as if I'm not doing anything to help them, but one recent incident pointed out the obvious: I was the one needing help.

She was on adjectival and adverbial phrases. Truth be told, I don't remember ever learning this back in 11 years of elementary and secondary schooling! So I had trouble understanding how to differentiate between the two. As I stared down at the page I was supposed to be marking, I hailed S, asking her to explain to me the difference. She explained, in her own very curt way. No big help. That was day 1.

The next day, I went ahead and marked her work, confidently gracing some of her answers with Xs. I called her, and when she looked at my Xs, she suggested,

"Let's look at the teacher guide."

Obviously the child didn't trust my grading!

She sat on the floor holding the teacher guide, and I sat on the swivel chair holding her book. She read out the answers and I marked them. Correct, correct, correct, correct, correct. The ones I had marked wrong were correct! She was right to not trust me.

The next day, she had to do a unit assessment on the subjects, and usual, she handed me her work wen she was done. I was still in the fog of understanding the difference between adjectival phrases and adverbial ones, even though I can recognize each one by itself. However, as I marked her work, it became somewhat clearer to me, and I marked with some degree of confidence. When I reached the end, there was a friendly 'note' waiting for me.


And to think I had considered doing TESL ...oy vey!

Nevertheless, this is what any homeschooler wants; a child who is able to learn by herself, and finally teach her parents, alhamdulillah!

Interesting!

I received this in an email today:

More Brain Stuff . . From Cambridge University.

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.


cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if
you can raed tihs psas it on !!

Psas Ti ON !

I immediately though of Glenn Doman's method of teaching very young children to read. His technique centers around teaching a whole word as a unit rather than the phonetic style of deciphering each letter by sound to read a whole word.

I had used the Glenn Doman method with S, and according to Doman, it is best if the child does not know the individual alphabets beforehand. This is because, the typical knowledge of the alphabets inhibits (to a certain degree, because S did know the individual alphabets when I started her on the Glenn Doman method) the speed at which the child can acquire reading the word as a unit. She will tend to try and decipher it if she recognizes each letter in the word.

In teaching a child to read using this method, one has to show a card with the word only for one second per word, not less, not more. So it is very suitable for very young children. In fact, his book is titled How To Teach Your Baby To Read. He talked about pathways that are developed in infants, and that when you show the infants these cards with red words that are of a certain size, you are helping the development of these pathways. We all know how a newborn cannot see clearly in the first few weeks and can only see the outline of his mother's face.

Doman also says that the child will automatically know how to read other words that has not been shown to him if they are of the same word/sound patter of the words that they have been shown. For example, I had a card with the word 'book', and after a while, S knew how to read the word 'book'. But, when I showed her the word 'cook', she automatically knows how to read it without having been taught the word before. This is because the child acquires the pattern and spelling rules of words from repeated exposure to the words themselves. I see similarities between this and the Malaysian IQRA's style of teaching children to read Quranic Arabic. In the IQRA' method, the tajweed rules are embedded in the words. So the child learns to read the Quran with proper tajweed without learning the rules of tajweed.

In the class Chain of Command, Abdulbary talked of how the early scholars are very well versed in Mustalah al Hadith (The Sciences of Hadith) without necessarily knowing the logical breakdown, terms that we have today. This is because they lived the Hadith, and the later scholars didn't, so they had to develop the Sciences of Hadith that we know of today. An analogy that Abdulbary gave us was that of a native English speaker.

"I be going to the store," sounds grammatically wrong to a native English speaker, but he will not necessarily know the grammatical rules/jargon that would help in explaining why it's wrong.

On the other hand, a person who learns English as a second language, or a non native, will be quite well versed in the jargons of English grammar, but s/he will not necessarily speak English better than a native speaker. And this is because the Native speaker lives English, whereas the non native has to learn it.

This makes a lot of sense to me, and after pondering upon it, and observing other kids learning to read using the phonetic style, and after using the phonetic style with them under OHVA, I realize this:

It can be very frustrating for a child of 5/6 years of age to learn how to read using Phonics. The process can be very slow, and in the process, they can be discouraged from reading altogether, because it takes too long to read a sentence, let alone a whole book! Sure, the developers of the Phonics method provide ways around this, but I can see how a child can be discouraged if s/he does not have a love of reading beforehand. If the parent is used to reading aloud to the child before, or if reading is very much a part of the family's culture, then there is probably less probability of this happening, inshaallah.

According to Doman, the older the child is, the less effective the Doman method, and this is largely due to the ability of the brain in absorbing information. The younger the brain is, the easier it is to absorb, and the higher the speed is for absorption.

When I enrolled S in OHVA, she was already reading by herself, but the Kindergarten curriculum, of course, included a Phonics kit, and required that I go through the Phonics lessons with her. Being inexperienced and gullible, I followed the curriculum to the T, which didn't make any sense, because she was already reading and knows the phonetic rules automatically. After a while, I just skimmed through it.

One thing that bothered me was,

"Is she gonna suck at spelling?"

It turned out that she initially did suck at spelling, but then again, that just may be my perfectionism seeping through, for she did later become the Spelling Bee Champion at OHVA's Pee Wee Spelling Bee, and was among the four last contestants of the 4th to 8th graders Spelling Bee.

One thing that I did notice also, is that, her reading speed is pretty fast, and my mother also did say that my sister (whom she did the Doman method with but later forgot how to read) also has a pretty good reading speed. We were talking about how the method benefited her even though she later forgot it. However, there is one thing I see lacking in S; comprehension of the text. It was the one thing I worried since she was reading things so speedily. I can relate to it too, because when I read adventurous fiction, i tend to gloss over the descriptive part of the text and focus on the action, and rush to get to the ending. When I'm reading non fiction, my speed is a little slower (or is this the case with everyone else too? Hmm).

Nevertheless, in one way or another, once a child is able to read, his world gets much much more interesting. Truth be told, I actually dread teaching a child to read. With S, it was an experiment that I undertook just to see if it truly works. It did do me a lot of good though later on, because once she was in Kindergarten, we no longer had to focus so much on learning how to read (though I did out of gullibility still focused on it), but we were able to explore other subjects at a whole different level. However, N and H weren't exclusively taught to read using the Doman method, and they're still avid readers, alhamdulillah.

Yet, isn't it interesting how we had labored in the process of learning how to read by deciphering each letter, only to abandon it for a more efficient way later on?

On Quran Memorization

Every morning, after Fajr, everyone, including Baby Z would be seated in the kids' room, doing something related to the Quran. It came about rather gradually, I think, because it wasn't really planned. It just happened. After the post salah zikr, hubby would pick one of them to review a memorized surah with him, or do a new one. To optimize time, he would instruct the other two to pair off and have one of them check the other's memorization on a memorized surah. Alhamdulillah they are big enough to be able to read the mushaf and check each other's memorization, well...with the exception of N, who still pretty much depends on everyone. Usually, it would be her who is picked to review with hubby, or if she is one of the paired, she would be the one who is checked. Sometimes, hubby would also instruct the pair to read from the Quran instead of check memorization.

As for Baby Z, who has been up for Fajr since he was only a few months old, he would break into a big wide smile whenever he sees the big green mushaf being opened and put on the rehal. With glee, he would crawl to it, and put his hands over the pages. Before, he would actually try to flip the pages, but after several explicit exclamations from us, he would now approach, watch us, and gently touch it. His interest though, has moved from the big green mushaf, to the small pocket mushaf that we use for checking memorization. May he be of the likes of Zayd Ibn Thabit, his namesake, Ameen.

My memorization process, sad to say, has been going on very slowly. Now, at one ayah per day, I have yet to finish a surah that I started memorizing in the summer of 2006, astaghfirullah! Ever since I started memorizing it, we have been playing Saad Al Ghamidi's recitation of that paricular surah over and over again, such that the kids accidentally memorized parts of it. Funny how Quran memorization seems to happen rather accidentally with them. Their bedtime ritual, when they were younger, was me reading the three Quls and ayatul kursi to them. S was around 3 and N was about 2 years old. Everytime I tucked them into bed, I would recite the surahs to them, not expecting them to memorize it. Before long though, they were chimig in with me, and in joy, I recited the verses halfway, letting them finish off the ends. Before I knew it, they were memorising the surahs, with no big effort on my part, subhanallah. However, after we moved, I didn't keep up the review, and they forgot.

When we decided to resume their memorization, it required more than one person, as we got to the longer surahs. Even checking their reading alone was too much for me, as each kid required a different kind of patience from me. I had started out assigning one child to read one page of the mushaf, but we would end up spending about up to an hour per person just to read that one page. I gave up, stopped for a while, fretted, mulled, and bounced back with a new solution; half a page per child.

When I was teaching them to read using the IQRA series, it was the same way; we would spend so much time on one page per child, that I would be stripped of all patience (not that I had much to begin with anyway) by the end of the session with just one child. I remember telling a close friend,

"Don't do a long session with her. A short one is more effective, and it will keep you from burning out."

She had told me of her daughter's refusal to read, and after what I had gone through, I told her the above. It truly did work better; short sessions. Subhanallah, the best deeds are those that are done consistently. I was too ambitious trying to have each child read one page, in the hopes that they would get more practice, but I only ended up with three cranky children, and a very cranky mother. A revamping was definitely in order. And revamping we did, alhamdulillah with much better results.

When I got pregnant, sessions grew more difficult, as I needed to leave or rest. After Baby Z arrived, it gre even more difficult, hence hubby's intervention, or should I say, take over! Alhamdulillah, at least now, we're utilizing after Fajr rather productively, and all without planning too. I'm a planner by nature. I cannot function well without proper planning, but there are just times when what you plan don't pan out, you lose your head. I have many of those moments, and so I have learned to let things go at times, and not be too uptight. I consider this a test of my 'perfectionism'. I have learned to overlook what seems to me to be imperfections, and just keep my mouth shut. Alhamdulillah, it wasn't easy, but I think I have managed to be a little flexible, maybe even too flexible at times.

Suffice it to say, H has moved on very well with regards to memorization. He did say,

"I'm going to memorize the whole Quran when I'm ten!"

after hearing Safi Khan's lecture on Imam Ahmad Hanbal.

I have noticed that he seems to have a knack for memorizing, to which hubby would simply roll his eyes and snort, since he is the one who has to work with H so painstakingly. Nevertheless, whether it's a natural tendency, or something that has developed through hard core training (courtesy to Abu H), H does seem to pick up on Quran memorization rather easily, at least compared to the rest of us!

One morning, as they all rushed downstairs to have breakfast, I lingered behind, repeating the ayah I was working on over and over again. I was having trouble memorizing it, and kept getting stuck at one particular point. H happened to still be standing there, listening to me struggling to get my ayah of the day. S had finished memorizing the surah last Ramadan. Hubby made her memorize it since she had already accidentally memorized it through audio absorption. So sometimes, I would work on the surah, and have her check me, or just plain depend on her to tell me what was next. That morning, she wasn't there, but H was. Out of frustration, I casually trailed off and asked H to continue the rest of the ayah for me. He responded. I checked my small mushaf, and he was correct. Elated, I worked on it again, relying on him to correct me. He did, a couple of times, until I moved on to another part of the ayah, to which he said to me,

"I'll call S."

He grew tired of helping his poor old mother I suppose.

On another occasion, S was checking my memorization, and again, I was painstakingly struggling to get the ayah. H was sitting next to us, fiddling with something, and at one point, he gave me a look that appeared to me to say,

"What's so difficult?"

Later on, I asked him why he looked at me like that, and he said,

"It was easy."

Subhanallah! Alhamdulillah...may Allah make it easy for him, and eradicate any pride in him. Ameen.

I have two more ayah to finish the surah. It has been a very pathetic crawl, but inshaallah I'll finally finish it and retain it. With much needed assists from the kids. Ameen.

Nature Walk

As I logged in to the OLS last night, I found there were no lessons for all the kids.

"Did they kick us out already?" I thought, half jokingly.

So, I wasn't able to make the kids' to do list on their little portable white board, which left us somewhat 'hanging' this morning, since our mission is now to finish OHVA lessons up to 90%.

"So can we go out?" they asked eagerly, faces beaming.

As the OLS was still blank, I let them go with their 'tree hunt' kit, which we had created years ago, as a result of our tree hunting expedition one beautiful spring day. It was then that we found out we had crab apple trees scattered all over our neighborhood, and we also learned that those trees are tree climbers' paradise! Even I was tempted to hitch up my abaya and climb the enticing curvy boughs with reckless abandon.

This morning, I didn't go with them because Baby Z had to nap, and it was 30 F outside anyway. I had told them it was too cold, but since when do children listen to their parents about the temperature outside when it look bright and sunny? Since the trees were still bare, they couldn't collect samples of leaves, buds, twigs, or barks, so I made up some impromptu instructions:

1. Go outside and find a place where you can sit and listen to the sounds around you. Write a poem
2. Be an animal detective, and write a story

3. Write a news report from your animal observation (since our neighborhood seems to be teeming with wild cats)


The White House, as the kids call it, that they report to harbor cats seen to be roaming our neighborhood.

When spring finally arrives inshaallah, I hope to join them in their Nature Walk, along with Baby Z. Our bulbs are already peeking out.

nature walk poem by N

I never thought I'd go outside
To play and have some fun.
How more fun it would be
If I could play out in the sun.
The snow is to blame,
It's freezing me!
If you know my name,
Let's play my game!

Nature walk poem by H

I went outside today and saw lotsa stuff,
and a cat that fell of a high place,
we walked off in a huff,
we started to pace,
then we went to the safari,
but nothing we saw except moss,
it was like walking to Jalali,
S was the boss,
so we had to go follow her to some mailbox,
I saw a bird,
it was orange like a fox,
we ran home like crazy,
and I stamped some leaf samples,
I did it as if I was lazy,
and that is the story about that cold day.

My Back Porch and My Nature Walk By S

On my back porch,
I hear cars, a fire truck, people,
crows, airplanes, Song birds,
I see houses, bikes, grass, bushes,
leaves, trees, rocks, human things,
I look for clues,
to find cats,
But when I look down all I see
are my untied shoes.
But suddenly,
face-to-face I see
a cat!
Staring at each other,
I reach out to grab,
but it runs away.
Look at that!
says someone,
when the cat runs past them.
I go home after I get some thorny samples,
of a bush near my back porch.

Opposition to Homeschooling

When I took S out of school and began to homeschool her, I certainly received some 'feedback' from people around us. An Islamic school teacher said to me,

"I don't want my kids to learn everything just from me. I want them to learn from other people too."

I had attended an event set up by some local Muslims, and on the way home, I rode with a sister who was also my neighbor. Somehow, the subject of homeschooling came up, not by me, and before long, I was being 'lectured'.

"You know, my daughter, she goes to school and she makes dawah to the other kids, because they see that she is Muslim."

She went on to say some other stuff, that I just nodded to. I was not born with eloquence, nor was I born with power of persuasion. I nodded all the way home, wishing that I had left with my husband earlier.

Being a Malay, assertiveness is not that apparent, and so, when people berate me for homeschooling I usually suffer in silence.

The most ridiculous encounter I've had was with an Asian lady at the Asian grocery store. She saw my children, smiled at me, and asked me which school they go to.

When I said that I homeschool them, she immediately turned 'auntie':

"Oh..homeschool is not good. You keep them at home. They should go to school and be with people. My son...."

and I let her talk while nodding respectfully, my feet itching to walk away.

After a while, whenever people ask me whre my kids go to school, I hesitate before answering. I would assess them, their sincerity, and inclinations. To some I would readily say I homeschool, and depending on their next response, I would either make the remaining conversation long or short on the topic. To me, it's just not worth going on and on about a topic to someone who is just out to find faults with it. It's a waste of energy and emotions.

Throughout the years, I've met people who were considerate in treading the topic, and I ride it with them, appreciating their careful questions. To these people, I would pick from the many reason people might homeschool when presenting the topic to them. Some would be happy to hear that homeschooled kids are better off academically than school-going kids. Some would be appeased to hear that the public school is not a safe place.

Then there are people who are really sincere and want to know more about homeschooling, without passing any judgments. To these people, I am more relaxed and open, and I probably share more with them.

Of all the comments and responses I've come across, one mother's response baffled and surprised me,

"Homeschooling, isn't that hard?"

I was so struck by the question, that I didn't know what to answer. It's like asking,

"Being pregnant, isn't that hard?"
or
"Marriage, isn't that hard?"
or
"Going to college, isn't that hard?"
or
"Working, isn't that hard?"
or
"Living life, isn't that hard?"

I can understand where she's coming from though, ad it makes me want to be a part of a group that promotes homeschooling, but to be truly honest, I really don't think much of myself and my experience as a homeschooler, because I know myself, and I know where I lack the most.

I'm not the most extroverted of people, so going out is a struggle for me, and when I do, it's not to necessarily socialize. I have found that my children are generally the same way, to different degrees. I blame it on myself, but then I tell myself that the society now places extrovertism on a pedestal, especially the American culture. I see the benefit it brings, but I also believe that quiet people can contribute a lot to the society, given the chance. In fact, the quiet people might have more to say than the extroverts, believe it or not.

We have been 'criticized' directly or indirectly over the years on our kids' perceived shyness. It is to say the least, stressful. I do blame myself though, because I do like to stay home a lot. I find that my kids warm up to people rather slowly, but once they do, they get attached to people rather strongly. In a way, I find that that can be a beneficial trait when they make friends, inshaallah, as they won't just go with any friend that comes knocking on the door, or at least I hope not.

Even hubby complains and worries about this, and in a way I feel like the blame is being put on me when he addresses it. There is nothing worse than realizing that you are butchering your kid's personality and traits by the way you are raising them. However, I stubbornly believe that sending them to public school is not the solution. I am always searching for a solution, and that is the trial and error part of parenting.

Alhamdulillah though, our families do not oppose us homeschooling our kids. Maybe they are hiding their disapproval, but overall they are very supportive, may Allah bless them.

On the other hand, there are also positive comments that we have received over the years. Some of them make us chuckle,

"You're a genius becuase you are homeschooled!" remarked a 15 year old girl to S, as she realized that S is able to read the Quran.

Some of them pleasantly surprise us,

"Mashaallah your children are very smart and well behaved."

Despite the rush of happiness those comments give me, I do get scared of praises, as you never know how your children are going to turn out later on, and even after you die. To all the positive comments, Alhamdulillah, and to all the negatives, may they drive us to further change ourselves for the better. Ameen.