Ummi Can Juggle 3 Balls!

"Your kids told me you can juggle!"

I almost snorted in the absurdity of the statement, brought about by my kids advertisement of their 'mommy juggler'. And I could sense the 'can you really do it?" request for confirmation creeping up on me.

"Nahh...I can't. They just think I can," I replied, hoping I didn't have to demonstrate my 'abilities'.

What made my kids blab about my juggling? I had, in one of those 'mommy is silly' moments attempted to juggle three balls. Of course, I can't really do it without having balls bouncing all over the place, but the sheer attempt brought back memories of my solitary childhood days where I told myself I would break the world record by skating non stop circles, do skating stunts and other ridiculous things. So yes, I did attempt to juggle three balls, and for maybe a few seconds I am able (yup, present tense) catch all three balls before I turn into butterfingers. But that doesn't mean I can juggle.

Metaphorically, I also can't juggle three kids without having balls bouncing all over the place. As it is in juggling three balls, maybe for a few measly seconds or minutes I am probably able to keep things from getting out of control, but for the most part, I am not in control. All I can say is, Allah has a hand in getting things done around here.

When I was homeschooling just S, in my gullibility, I did every activity the K12 curriculum provided. I gave my all and I can say now, looking back, that I did do that with an 'ihsaan' mindset. It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty close. Meanwhile, H and N learned how to read by themselves, because I was too busy 'homeschooling' S. Before I knew it, they were reading books, making mistakes, learning from their mistakes, all on their own. Suffice it to say, I felt really guilty for that, but I didn't know about this 'this is what you want to happen eventually' mentality back then. Thinking back, I guess, we did achieve one of the objectives of homeschooling; they were becoming self motivated learners. All by the Grace of Allah, walhamdulillah!

When N started kindergarten, I was then faced with two students to homeschool. My feathers were slightly ruffled, but switching between two students was still manageable. I even took pride in my ability to juggle the two while keeping my sanity intact. I would work with S, leave her with some individual work to do, then work with N, leave her with some individual work to do, and switch back to S. Sometimes, one of them would wait on me, especially if they had a question, and these were the times I would feel panic. But it wasn't until H came into the homeschooling scene that my hairs were standing on end.

So I asked this stupid question to one homeschooling mom.

"What do you do when you're teaching one child, and another child is waiting to ask you something?"

"Tell her to do something else while waiting for you," she replied.

At the time, the solution seemed so brilliant and ingenious, but now, my question just seemed dumb.

So H came into the picture, and there I was homeschooling three children, with a curriculum that is better fitted for single or double students. I didn't realize it then, but the way the whole curriculum works, or is supposed to work, you would have to do major modifications to accommodate a family with multiple children. Alhamdulillah though H was already reading on his own, so I skipped the Phonics lessons. I somewhat skipped it with N too, but since there were only two of them then, I still did most of the lessons, even though she was already reading too. Again, Allah came to my aid, and I began to notice that it got easier with the subsequent child, because:

1. you somewhat have the experience, so you're just going over the same material again with a different child
2. the child seems to have absorbed some of what is being taught by mere exposure to the lessons, indirectly, while the older child was being taught in the previous year

N and H would listen in as I did lessons with S when it was just S in school, so I suppose it was no surprise that they would catch on pretty quickly on some of the lessons when it was their turn.

However, as the years passed by, I noticed that H was moving at an even higher pace than N. This year, I had requested that H be moved up to do 3rd grade Language Arts so it would be easier for me to manage school overall. He was already doing 3rd grade maths, so when he was moved up to 3rd grade language arts, the only thing he was doing at his grade level, was Science. I thought it would be easier to manage, but subhanallah, the curve balls you get in life, are truly relentless and countless.

H surpassed N, and again, I was faced with the problem of juggling three kids who were working at different levels everyday. The switching between kids became more of a stress-inducing activity for me. I had no pride left then, only exhaustion. My technique, was to try and assign two children to do something they could do by themselves, and work with the remaining child. In theory, it was doable, but in practice, it didn't quite work out so well, especially when a child had a question or was stuck, and the child I was working with took longer than usual to be done needing me. That was when the monster in me would surface.

As things progressed, (yes, alhamdulilla things did progress, again, all due to Allah's help) the kids became more independent, needing me less and less, and ended up doing their lessons by themselves. Again, guilt crept in, but I was pregnant at the time. I had begun to use a small portable white board to write up their daily To Do Lists, and they would go by this each day, not needing me to tell them what do next. As Allah makes some things easy and some things hard, they also began to develop more ability to learn things on their own, except maybe not so much for N. Of course, I still needed testing, don't I? So, that is my test; N.

And now, H is done with his math, and everything else, and only has composition left to finish. N has that, and math, and Literature. S, well, S is already working on her own except on very few things that still require my instructions.

At the end of this school year, I will have used the K12 curriculum for 6 years. I wouldn't say it was all bad, because our experiences are what makes us what we are, and I have to say that all the experiences, despite being stress-inducing for me, and maybe torturous to the kids, have taught them some things about themselves, and helped them develop some new abilities I had not planned to cover. After doing some reading, I am now ready to leave the ship and embark on my own boat. I have learned a lot of valuable things from the K12 curriculum, and from the OHVA teachers especially, and I hope to use that as my base experience to continue on in our voyage inshaallah.

As for juggling three kids, I think I have never really honed the skill, but I believe that Allah makes some things easy for us when other things are difficult. Life is dynamic, things are always changing, depending on how we react, and throughout my 3o something years of life, I have noticed that pattern. We are tested based on our weaknesses and strengths. If we are tested with something, that means we have the strength to overcome it, for Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capabilities, but that doesn't mean we are already strong in that aspect. And when things are not within your control, sometimes Allah eases some things. That way, we can't really say that it's all due to our doings, because we are not in control of everything. It's amazing how humbling life's tests make us, because each and everyday, we are reminded that He is the one in control, but yet, at the same time, He has given us free will to garner some control ourselves.

So, while my act of kid-juggling has been somewhat aided by Allah, maybe I should work on juggling those three balls, eh?