Truly Embracing Motherhood

I was brought to a particular realization recently from a comment made by a sister in the course of discussing the local community here.

She said that part of the reason an ummah declines in quality is because mothers leave the task of raising their children to someone else, and the reason for an ummah's increase in quality is also due to mothers who raise a high quality future generation.

She gave examples of the old scholars. It reminded me of Imam Malik's mother. We learned a bit about the four Imams in Code Evolved, taught by Syeikh Yaser Birjas back in March 2005. Every morning, Imam Malik's mother would dress him up and walk him herself to the masjid to sit with the other men in their halaqa, after Fajr. He was just a child then.

As a mother, I was immediately struck by the significance of the story, and applied it to myself. Am I that kind of mother? I think I am far from it. Do I have the tenacity to BE that kind of mother? Well I have to reform myself first and foremost, and that's a lot of work in itself. Do I want my children to grow up as average Muslims? Definitely not. What do I want for them? It would really be nice if they grow up to be Mukmins who can benefit the society and be among those whom Allah wants good for. When Allah wants good for a person, He will endow him with knowledge and hikmah.

Then I thought about mothers embracing motherhood. Are we really embracing motherhood today? Do we realize the role mothers play in determining the future of the ummah? Or are we blinded by feminism ? Are we distracted by their movements that in reality direct us away from our true roles ? Are we leaving the future of the ummah in mid air? Are we belittling the roles of wives and mothers in the traditional sense for the modern roles of women touted religiously by the west?

The west itself now is returning to the traditional roles. They have realized that mothers need to be home for producing high quality future generation. They have come to this realization while the east is still clambering in their wake.

When we think of the roles mothers actually play in the ummah as a whole, it truly gives birth to a Qintar of gems. There is a reason why Allah has stated the roles of a wife as being responsible for the husband's household and raising the children. There is a reason why Allah has stated what He did; because He is our creator, and He knows us better than we know ourselves. We DO NOT have the intelligence to even contest that, but we do anyway, astaghfirullah.

Women have been fighting for their 'rights' in the west when the rights of women are already established in Islam. In choosing a spouse the suitability is sought for the woman. In the law of inheritance, the women is given a small amount compared to the men because the men are supposed to spend some of that amoun to take care of the women under their care. So what the women inherited is like extra allowance, because her maintenance is supposed to be handled by the male. The woman is described like a rib. She cannot be forced to change but has to be gently handled. Men are advised by Allah to be gentle with women. Men are OBLIGATED to exert kindness to their wives. To have 'being kind' as a stipulation in a marriage contract is even considered repetitive because by default, the husband SHOULD be kind to the wife. It is his obligation. And by being kind, it includes displaying affection, playing with the wife, showing mercy etc. A perfect example would be Muhammad SAW and how he treated his wives.

Yet, do we truly realize all this? Are we women thankful for all this? Do we embrace our roles completely and with full submission and thankfulness? Do we embrace our importance to the ummah seriously? I don't think we do. I think underestimate our roles esepecially in light of Islam. I think we have been swayed by the western values so much so that we have actually degraded ourselves to a lower rung of the ladder. Our sight have been obliterated by these values, and in turn we look down upon the traditional roles of women in light of Islam.

The mother plays a really strong role in shaping her children, much much more than the father. That is why Allah told the men to look for deen when looking for a spouse, because their future progeny will be in the hands of this woman. That is why Allah told women to be responsible for the husband's household and raising the children, because to sway from this would produce different situations and possibly unprecendented problems. In other words, that is the ideal arrangement. Maybe the benefit cannot be seen immediately, but the benefit and reward would probably be more intangible than tangible.

Marriage can lead to haram when a man is forced to beg simply to support his family, but there is also the fact that rizq has been determined by Allah. This is not to say that we should sit back and wait for wealth to come tumbling down from the sky, for the birds didn't stay in their nests. The birds go out every day to look for food and Allah provides for them. They go out in the morning with nothing and come back in the evening with provisions. We should always tie our camels but not be too obsessed in securing everything for the future. In general though, you gain something but lose something else. The question we should now ask ourselves is: What are we willing to lose first?