The Conference

We had our now monthly conference last Friday. I had jotted it down on my calendar but when the fated date came i totally forgot about it. So the phone rang unpicked by human hands. Instead the machine picked it up and after shushing each other, K's voice hailed us upstairs, in our ready stance to pick up the phone lest it be someone important. As soon as we heard her, we all rushed to our feet and picked it up before she hung up.

Such is my avoidance of the phone. It has all come to this. What have I done? All because I feel a phone conversation is very much like a face-to-face conversation. I simply refuse to be interrupted while on a phone conversation and that always produces 'abandoned children'. So I now steer away from it since I also can't say "I have to go," without feeling guilty about it. There was a time when i patiently listened to a telemarketer making her sale to me in a non stopping torrent of incomprehensible words, probably foolishly thinking that she had 'caught' me, only to hear me say no at the end. In a way i guess I was torturing her, but I was also too weak to say "no," from the very beginning. I'm lucky I didn't go to high school in the United States. otherwise I'd be in a whole lot of trouble with my inability to say "No."

The conference this time required K to speak with all of the kids and ask them about the history that they've learned so far.

H was the first one to talk on the phone. I sat back, watching him converse on the phone with hie assigned OHVA teacher.

"Yes,"

"No,"

"So people won't steal their stuff,"

"The Nile River,"

"Silt,"

were his audible responses.

Next to go was N. This one ran away to room so she could speak in private, I guess. Huh, typical girl phone behavior? Scary.

ANyway, I doggedly followed her and could see that she was speaking too softly. I kept prodding her to speak louder. She has this habit of holding the phone away from her ears. Don't know why, but suffice it to say, she doesn't have enough phone skills.

Next was S. Also girl phone behavior. Went to my room and placed herself comfortably on the bed, legs stretched out, back leaning against my propped pillows. Hmmm..comfortable indeed. Scary!

At the end of each conversation, K would tell how great the kids were and how well they remember what they were taught, especially H. Perfect time too for her to say that for I was feeling very down in the dumps lately, with the kids schooling. There were countless times where i have felt like giving up, like throwing in the stinky towel and taking to my heels as fast as i could. But I know I'd never be able to live with myself if I did, so i stuck through it, gritting my teeth and witholding complaints as much as i can. It's not easy.

All I can say is, if my kids do prove to retain the knowledge they have acquired thus far and turn out to be as normal as other kids, I would give all credits to Allah. The countless times I had turned to Him, seeking help, ease and patience. Everytime I was betaken with the feeling of helplessness I would sink in my own despair and ultimately turn to Him. I don't know how else i could do it wihtout His help. Nothing I do even if it was my best could help me if Allah does not will it.