The Middle Child...Syndrome?

Ever since she was born, she was different. Thinking back, my behavior during my pregnancy with her was also different. I was relaxed (so you can tell I'm not normally relaxed :)), happy(so I guess you can tell I'm a normally miserable person :)),lazily laid back and I really ate a lot (which is not in itself a deviation from the normal me ). So when she came out, she did so with at first scaring me half to death with a gush of blood that sent us rushing to the hospital.

Then, during 'confinement' I was bedridden with the flu, which made it even more difficult to go to classes. I was in my senior year and had loads of projects. Breastfeeding her was not easy peasy at all. There were times when both mother and baby cried because neither one was able to form a symbiotic bond. She would squirm tirelessly and wail while I tried to feed her. Since hubby and me took classes alternately so that we won't have to send our children to the babysitter(for lack of finances, not lack of trust), I took afternoon classes and he took morning ones. We were fortunate to be in our final semesters to be able to do that.

By the time he came home, both N and me were wailing. Me, because I wasn't able to feed my child, and her, because she was I guess, hungry! Alhamdulillah the problem was resolved not long after. I never knew what bothered her. It was robably either her lack of swallowing reflex combined with my gushing milk or a personality trait in her that contributed to her reaction (because my other kids weren't like that).

I would describe her as a typical seven year old girl of lilting personality, infused with creativity, art, singing, feminity and everything sweet and girly. That would make her roughly about the same as any seven year old girl. However, in our family, she's the different one. Dreamy, and unmindful of others' opinions, she would live in her own artistic world, drawing away to oblivion. Athletically, she's like me. Not very athletic. Big sister and lil bro would always leave her behind if they suddenly decide to race.

Recently, a neighbor said to me, "She looks fragile and I can't help but hug her." That's my N. She's always been the charmer, the one everyone immediately falls in love with. it's ironic because when she was little, one of her grandmother favored her fairer older sister to her, which caused a shift in hubby's and my attention fro big sis to her. Ever since then, hubby always treated N a little bit differently. I recently noticed that people do tend to treat N differently because of her personality.

Where big sis S is more independent and tough, N is dependent and 'fragile'. Suffice it to say, I honestly admit I'm exasperated by it. I think I made S independent ever since I found out I was pregnant with N. N, when we got H, was I think, not that happy. With N, I always try to balance things out by expecting her to be as independent as S, but it always just ends up driving me crazy.

N's always the latest one to come out of the house whenever we got ready to go somewhere, still fiddling with her shoes, and looking for her socks. N's always the last one to come down for dinner, too engrossed in her drawing to hear us calling. N's always the last one to take a bath, too obsessed with her image in the mirror, comically at times, dressed so scantily. N's always the one who spills things because she doesn't look where she's going due to being stuck in her world of daydreaming and sing song sway of the hips. N's always the one stumbles because (i don't know why, even asked the doctor, but he said not to worry).

However, she's also the one who's the most generous, giving her most treasured possession in response to receiving a gift. She's also the most compassionate, lending a shoulder to cry on.

Does it really exist? The middle Child Syndrome..or is it just a fabricated concept created to explain the coincidental personality traits apparent in middle children. Whatever it is, I'm having a REALLY hard time handling this middle child. I guess in a way she makes me slow down and smell the flowers and just for that, there's the wisdome lurking behind everything. On the other hand, I don't want to be slowd down to smell the flowers because there's so many things to do!