Extension

It does irk me, a lot, when the assumption that one does nothing when she stays at home is thrown at me or anybody else for that matter. Thinking back, even when the kids weren't of school-going age, I wasn't doing nothing. Of course housekeeping is considered so trivial that it is looked down upon in this era as something a woman should not be doing if she has good brains. I won't argue with that but there is more to housekeeping. The organization required is usually waved off as being insignificant, but really, if an educated person thinks about it, it actually employs significant use of the brain in order to keep house in an efficient manner.

I was told,

"You have brains. You need to go out there and teach people."

I answered,

"The more reason I should stay home and teach my kids."

Pondering deeper, I have to say I don't outrightly disagree with the suggestion, but what bothers me is the attitude towards educating our own children. In my humble opinion, all mothers should be educated so that they can educate their own children. Sure, they can outsource their assets to the community, but not at the expense of their own children. It is, when it all boils down to it, a matter of opinion, but I feel like I'm fighting for a reviving group of mothers who are 'looked down' upon just because they chose to stay home, especially if they have degrees. Issue of money and cost of living aside, I think the matter should be given deeper thought and consideration and not just waved off as something unwise and stupid.

However, one works for one family might not work for another. What works for one person might not work for another. Variety is always existent in this world of ours. In fact it's essential. So not everyone should be doing the same thing, but we shouldn't assume things about others and put it into words and action. I may not be one of those people who always say what they think whenever the moment arises, but only because upon observation, I don't always deem it appropriate for me to give a 'one-answer-fits-all' kind of response. People might be insulted in some cases and it takes more than one conversation to make some people understand. I suppose it's a struggle I have to wend myself through.

I was brought to attention yesterday by a sister's comment. I said to her,

"My husband always says how good your sons are, masyaallah."

She cut me in midsentence and insisted that it was nothing and then said,

"I don't want to say my children are good, because today they might be good, but in the future, who knows."

It struck me, deep. She's right. Children are trials sent to us by Allah. What we do with them is the test. The way I was thinking was that I need to know that my toil has some results, but one can never be sure and should not feel too assured about it. In fact, that reminds me of the time when I adamantly insisted that we say Bismillah before we eat. I was probably 10 years old. 5 or more years later, I must say I wasn't a model child a parent would be proud of. Whenever my children display any good behavior, I revel in the goodness bestowed by Allah, but I keep trying to remind myself that it can always turn out the other way, even if just for a moment, because in actual fact, they are a test from Allah.

In yesterday's halaqa, the ending conclusion on our seerah session was, when things get difficult, to the point of appearing to be too much to bear, it's a sign that victory is near.