The Chosen Prayer

238. Guard strictly (five obligatory) As­Salawât (the prayers) especially the middle Salât (i.e. the best prayer ­ 'Asr).[] And stand before Allâh with obedience [and do not speak to others during the Salât (prayers)]. AL Baqarah (2:238)

"Buraidahu (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He who misses the `Asr Salat (deliberately), his deeds will be rendered null and void.'' [Al-Bukhari]. So that means, if you miss Asr, all your good deeds will be gone."

S looked at me, and asked,

"Did I ever do that?"

"Hmm, I don't know, let me think. No. Oh! Yeah I think you did that once."

"Oh no! All my good deeds are gone?"

"Well, you're still a child, I don't think so."

On another occasion, we were supposed to go to the library, and had to drop hubby off at his office which was on the way and pick him up on the way home from the library.

"So what time are you gonna pick me up?" hubby asked.

"Four," I said.

"No! Before four, Ummi," S protested.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Because we might be late for Asr. We have to make wudhu' and everything and we might be late if we pick Abi up at four."

She looked desperate. I was silently surprised but considering her shock at realizing that her good deeds might have all gone to waste for missing Asr, I supressed a chuckle and assured her that we wouldn't be late for Asr.

The method by which I introduced them to salat was to choose one of two choices. I had given S a choice between Asr and maghrib. The first one she chose was Asr. Despite better judgment, I somewhat tried to convice her to choose maghrib because I thought that Asr would most likely interrupt her playtime. To prevent her from despising the interruptions, I had thought it best to choose maghrib, where she would most probably be in the house anyway. She insisted on Asr, and hubby told me to let her. I complied.

It was after reading the ayat above, and the hadith that comes with it that I was jolted into the realization that she had truly chosen one of the best prayers.

As she became more attuned to the movements and recitation in her Asr, I let her choose one more prayer, and this time she chose maghrib. When she turned eight, I let her choose one more. To my surprise and bewilderment, she chose Fajr. Again, I dumbly protested, saying that it will be too early and once she chose it, there's no way of getting out of it. In a way, I felt like someone who's trying to find excuses to wear the hijab. I have heard these kinds of excuses before; "I don't want to wear it because I might take it off and that's worse than not wearing it in the first place." Inwardly, I felt ashamed of myself, and of course relented to her choice. Inside, I wondered if she would stick to that commitment and not give me the trouble of getting her to wake up every morning.

So far, she has stayed true to her commitment, Alhamdulillah. In fact, that really surprised me because I remember being caned for not waking up for Fajr in my teen years. I was not a Fajr person. So I was in a bit of confusion to see my eight year old wake up every morning with no complaints.

Again, without my knowing it, she had chosen the other best prayer. Subhanallah!

When N turned seven, I offered her a prayer to choose. She chose Asr, following in her big sister's footsteps. Her second one is maghrib. I haven't let her make a third choice yet, because her performance of the two that she's committed to is not yet satisfactory. However, I have a feeling that her third choice would be Fajr. Everytime we wake S up for Fajr, N's eyes would be wide open. It's only a matter of time before she actually gets out of bed, performs wudhu', and bow and prostrate with us, Insyaallah.

S have been praying for almost two years now. I have come to the realization that once your child prays, you are bound in an unbreakable contract. This depends on how attuned you are to the observance of prayer. Of course you cannot expect your children to perform prayers perfectly if you are languid and sluggish when it comes to prayer.

Many a times I find myself reminding them to pray when they go to other people's house in the time span where those prayers will come in. Many a times I find myself frantic that they might forget. Many a times I find myself worrying over the prayers more than over whether they eat or not. Many a times I catch myself reminding them over and over again. Many a times I find myself interrogating them afterwards. Many a times I realize that they do perform their prayers. And many a times I find myself sounding strange to people who might overhear a mother repeatedly reminding her children to pray more than anything. However, that in itself struck me hard.

"If she deosn't wear hijab, she's committing a sin. But if she doesn't pray, she might not be a Muslim," said hubby one time when I expressed my worries over hijab.

I worry a lot as a mother, as I'm sure all mothers do. I guess it's part of the job description.

It's not easy making sure that your child/ren observe their prayers. That's only one aspect of parenting. It's a huge responsibility. May Allah help us all in producing future generations that will benefit the ummah as a whole insyaallah.