Chunnel

After the 'success' of Dam Day, we scoured through the media section, well, I did, of the library to find the other DVDs in that series. I pounced upon 'Tunnels'.

Today the DVD is due. So we watched it this morning. The beginning was about reports of ghost siting in a tunnel, which truth be told, gave me a few chills. Towards the end of the program, we stumbled upon some fast facts about the Hoosac Tunnel pertaining to ghost sitings even up to this day.

"It must be the jinns. There're no such things as ghosts."

"Yeah, and it's in the mountains too, so it must be the jinns."

When we saw the Holland Tunnel, we exclaimed with excitement, because last year, in December, we had the opportunity to actually traverse the length of that tunnel from New York City going into New Jersey. The traffic wasn't so fabulous, but we can rightfully say we went through the Holland Tunnel.

H didn't pay much attention during the documentary, or was it during my flat explanation. Sometimes it's so frustrating to teach and having to repeat the same thing over and over again. I'm not best known for patience in the first place, so this homeschooling thing is a very big struggle for me. I have to say that the professors have it way way easier than the elementary school teachers. They can just lecture, give out quizzes or exams, and the rest is up to the students. Elementary school teachers, on the other hand, are paid less than the professors, but have more work to contend with, in my opinion. High school teachers deserve that attention too because as we all know, teenagers are not the easiest people to handle.

However, of course, to be fair, everything has their pros and cons and everyone has his/her own struggle which cannot be judged superficially.

Just yesterday I was battling this difficulty in teaching N. Wewere doing a two step math problem that we had started doing since the day before. I stopped halfway because she didn't get it. I tried again yesterday and I lost patience again. I'm afraid of attempting it again today.

This is N. Her personality is so, shall we say, dynamic, that at one time, she can charm you out of your wits, and another, she can irritate you to your core. We noticed that she has trouble focusing or keeping her attention on one thing. Even while reciting Quran, she tends to move about from a sitting position to a lying position. I've read that maybe we should use the stress ball on her, because when we absorb something, we have this need to move our body. Kids cannot control it, so we should redirect the need to something that will not disrupt the teaching.

The question was: Jane gave 31 leaves to the caterpillars on Tuesday. The caterpillars ate 9 more than they did on Monday. How many leaves are left?

While we were solving how many leaves the caterpillars ate, she had to go through the concept of adding to get that number. By the time we were done and ready to proceed with the next part of the problem, she has forgotten about the inital bigger problem. Today, I still am apprehensive about another attempt to make her get it, because I know I would just lose it at her dull, flat, blank expression.

I think what makes it so hard for me is the fact that there are not many homeschoolers here in Columbus. A sister did try to make a group but there were only three families. They live relatively close to each other, but not me. I found it troublesome to get together, and on top of that, our children are very different in age. So that didn't pan out very well.

That's the main reason I want to move out of Columbus. I honestly can't do this anymore, all by myself. I've been hanging on for these past 3-4 years, and I'm about ready to give up. Homeschooling is best done as a group effort, not a lone one. Today is not a bad day, but I'm just laying out the reality. There is probably more that I can do, but in some way or another they all require money, and there's three of the kids. We can't afford it yet. Hubby is not totally into this whole thing either. I had had to repeatedly make him realize that I can't do it alone, and in order to solve that problem, we're going to have to spend some money and expend some extra effort. Since he's the one churning out the dough, I don't totally feel comfortable spending money even if it's for the kids. So we'll see how things work out insyaallah. Truly, Allah is Merciful and won't put a burden that is beyond what we can bear. And maybe this is the 'struggle of my life'. Maybe this is the roil and toil that will make me of stronger substance, insyaallah. In the end, since it's all for Allah, and Allah is Fair, I will get what I deserve, if not here, in the hereafter.

As for the children, they are tests from Allah. Homeschooling won't necessarily make them good people, it's just an effort. I cn't guarantee I will turn out 100% good Muslims at the end of all this, but at least I can answer to Allah when He asks me about my responsibility. Whatever I do, if it's not the will of Allah, will not happen. Dua is always the hidden determiner of one's fate. That's my other hidden tool. Insyaallah.