I stumbled upon a website yesterday, while looking for resources on handling sibling fights. As I squint and peer closely at the screen (though hubby had taught me how to make the font bigger, I can't be bothered to do it, and stuck with doing it the 'hard' way, as opposed to the 'smart' way), the concepts of unschooling are both shocking and interesting to me. I had read of John Holt. I somewhat agree with him.
I do think the unschooling approach has merits, but my struggle is applying those concepts to raising Muslim children. I haven't finished reading everything on the website, and I intend to, but before I lose it, I thought I would ramble here for a while, thinking out loud in the form of writing. I usually mull over things for days, and hubby knows when this happens because I can be found sitting and staring into space in silence. This now, is my current object of rumination, until I come up with a personal perspective or take on it.
I searched for unschooling Muslims and this was one of the sites I found. The writer said that a mix of methods is what homeschoolers usually do, and I have learned about this earlier to be called eclectic homeschooling.
As for complete unschooling, N and H did learn to read roughly on their own without me actively 'teaching' them. The drive to read for them was internal. They also did learn to use the computer by themselves without needing me to actively 'teach' them. N didn't know how to ride a two-wheeler until after Baby Z was born. While S and H were falling off and getting back on their two wheelers, N hung back, not even wanting to try. I am beginning to think that maybe unschooling would be a good approach for her especially. Hubby is backing off from having her memorize the Quran like he's doing with the other two, and maybe that is the wise thing to do. Right now, I'm struggling with teaching her to read the Quran. Should I back off too, until she's ready to learn it with an internal drive?
I suppose if you think deeply about it, unschooling makes a lot more sense than the schooling system. You do learn what you need to know when the time is right, and when you need to learn it. Of course, by saying this, I'm completely contradicting myself with all the Glenn Doman bit. But as always, I am open to new ideas, of course with a limit. As Muslims we have our ground zero, where some things are non-negotiable, but things to do with muamalat, we are freet to explore and figure out the method that works best for us.
For now, I don't like to stick with just one method and follow it blindly. So I will, for now, take what makes sense to me from this philosophy and apply it to our homeschooling journey, inshaallah. May Allah continue to guide me and all of us mothers in raising our children . Ameen.
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17 comments:
Assalamu aleikum
I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. I mean, unschooling in relation to raising muslim children.
The idea of unschooling is very apealing to me, but I've come to the realisation that;
1. as muslims, we have certain things that are 'fard' (obligatory) on us to learn or seek to learn, and
2. in Islam we take the middle path, so we should facilitate the learning of anything beneficial, but less important, to be learned in ones own pace (unschooling). And cause the children to be exposed to the important things, but not force it upon them (spoon-fed, schooling).
Not as easy in practice as in theory...
waalaikumsalam oum anas,
jazakillah khair for sharing that bit of realization! I am in need of them :D
I was reading more on their philosophy too and my gradual realization is the same as yours..subhanallah..for us life is not the goal in itself but a means to and end ...and we live not to live but to worship allah and only allah...so while we let the children free to explore the dunya stuff, some of the deenie stuff they have to be taught or we have to instill in them from a young age, especially from a young age. I just had a quran recitation session with my oldest daughter after zuhr just now, and as she was reading I thought to myself, if i delay this, shaytaan will probably get to her first nauzubillah...in the unschooling philosophy there are no shayaateen I suppose LOL...so I guess I have a lot to ponder over this week on this matter.
oh and yes not as easy in practice as in theory that's for sure :) jazakillah khair again for dropping by and sharing!
May be it is different approach for every of us. But I found unschooling method is the way which will stick longer with children. Especially for us as a muslim. For all my children, they are behind in term of reading quran and memorization. They do learn most by themselves about islamic history, and also other islamic learning. As I busy running our life before.
But, we talk a lots and a lots about how powerful Allah is all the time. Although they seems behind in all the thing which others seem far ahead than them, but, I found that, when we talk about Allah, fear, hell and day of judgment, even my 5 years old AH will had tears coming from his eyes. I found out that they can talk to non muslim friend with their small formal knowledge of islam, but full of firm and believe that their way of life is the best way.
That's what I found. For me, islamic teaching especially this day, really got to be as nature as it needs to be. I found it, now, as my daughter age 12, will wake up by her self for fajr time and will keep doing zikir until she went to sleep.
Although they learn lot of recitation in late age than other children ( I think), but I found that, how they stick and talk about their believe to other people shocking me..They will easily talk and do dakwah to other non muslim friend. Although I gradually teach them the formal knowledge such as salat recitation, dua and etc, but the firm believe that they had were such important lesson for me..
I did talk in my post, my hubby only finish his reading of quran (khatam) at the age of 17. But, he never left any salat since the age of 6. He always say to me, never mind they can't remember some recitation in salat or memorize lot s of surah yet, but they keep their prayer on track.
Every body experience different, but I found that especially this day, unschooling approach of islamic way of teaching were important as we want our children to keep on track rather than do everything when they small and fall apart when they big.
Anyway, this is only from my knowledge and experience..
Wa iyyaki.
There is an Arabic saying:
"To learn at a young age is like carving in stone, to learn at an old age is like carving on water" .... sort of (my own translation)
Umm S, you're right in many of your points. I think we might understand the word unschooling a bit differently.
Complete autonomous learning is not possible with Islam, that is when the child takes the lead and decides what and when to learn, without any intervening whatsoever from the parents.
Of course, Eeman (belief), is the first thing we should strive to instill in our children. The Sahaabah learnt to believe first, then they learnt the Qur'an by heart, slowly, implementing each part in their lives before moving onto the next piece of memorisation.
Assalaamu alaikom,
I went to the Toronto Unschooling Conference last year and I plan on going again. I don't see how unschooling contradicts Islamic values especially and most importantly in the early years. After the age of seven, children can start learning more formally, but before that I think unschooling is best. That said unschooling promotes learning for the sake of learning and I think we can teach many things to our kids without having to use rewards, punishments, bribes, manipulation etc.
Islamic learning has to come from parents regardless if the child is at home, public, or private school. Children need to see their parents reading, studying, praying, and reciting. Then the child will naturally take an interest. Having a child active in their Muslim community and doing Islamic things together as a family really help and our essential to growing up.
"Bring back Jumah" as I call it. I mean to say make it a REAL honest habit to take you and the kids to jumah. Get excited about it. Do all the jumah recommended acts, dress up a bit. I think it creates a love for Islam in the kids hearts.
I think for unschooling to be the most effective you really have to set the environment for your kids. To me that means providing rich opporutinies, hiding the tv in some dusty corner, doing things that are fun yet thought provoking, etc.
Check out http://www.lifelearningmagazine.com It's prety good.
finie,
jazakillah khair ...more morsel for thuoght for me :)
oum anas..
jazakillah khair also for clarifying and elaborating...every bit of elaboration helps now :D
socrunchy,
mashaallah, suddenly this post is bringing new people with beneficial comments too! alhamdulillah! :D thank you for dropping by.
jazakillah khair for your input. hmm as for being active in the Muslim community...it makes me think that maybe I was active in the wrong way (for the time being)...as I was heavily volunteering to the point of having too much on my plate that they probably saw it as taking time away from them :) and also if the muslim events exclude them, (how some events don't want kids around, adults are not tolerant of kids etc)...I think that leaves a bad taste for them too...but i think I see it more clearly now..things are beginning to make a lot more sense inshaallah..
Jazakum allah khair!
any more comments, inputs, suggestions are VERY welcome!
Assalamu aleikum
See, Socrunchy, that is more like Montessori or Freinet. Not 'radical' unschooling/autonomous learning, because then the TV would not be hidden, rather the kid would have 24/7 access to it and if something 'inappropriate' came up the parents 'might' discuss it with the kid and then the kid decides as it wishes.
That's where it contradicts Islam, because we have a duty to lead them and show them what is good and forbid what is bad (no matter what the age).
But I've been told there's a difference of interpretation of the word unschooling in the US, so you're right at the same time :)
In that sense, I'm an 'unschooling'-advocate too.
waalaikumasalam
oum anas, mashaallah...that's what I understood from reading about the definition of unschooling too. And I also read that people do define unschooling differently, or rather, the term has been defined erronously by a lot of people.
I'm also confuse with the word schooling or unschooling. Because if we think about unschooling, think about when we were small. How we learn to dress, to pray, to fast, to eat. About good and bad. I think in olden days, most of parents actually unschooling and also homeschool their children in their own way.
From what I see and experience my self, to learn islam in unschooling method had lots of benefit. Because Islam is the way of life. For example, it's good to teach our children about prayer at the age of 2 or 3. But, believe me, even if we never told our 2/3 years old to pray, they will actually follow us.
And I think asking our children to pray at the age of 7 is just the right time. And of course if the age of ten if they don't pray, we can scold them. For me in between the age of 7 and ten, they can start to learn memorization of ayat for praying, surah and learn about how to perform salaat according to fikh. There, children will have maximum 3 years to learn. They also matured enough not just to memorize but also understand the important of pray, how to improve their pray and etc.
I was learning lots of islamic knowledge at the early age. I was the first student wearing hijab in my primary school at the age of nine in 80's. When I was 6 years old, I did a lots of sunat prayer as well. But, I slip back in term of amal during teenager. Because early learning is like 'just follow'. But started when it should, it give me better understanding because islam is not just follow but to deeply understand.
From what I can see, lots of born muslim is slip back although they learn islamic rules and basic islamic knowledge since they small. But, we can see revert had much more respect and value about islam. Because they not learn to 'follow' but they learn to understand. It is very important that our children actually understand about islam but not do thing because they just had to learn to satisfied parent.
Anyway, there are a lots of interpretation about things. So, we do had to do our own research. But, looking at other people life experience and reality, is one of the research I'm always use rather than go through theory on the paper.
Anyway, like it's say in hadith and quran, when your child start to speak, than teach them kalimah LAILLA HAILLALLAH. I think that's the best learning for children for a start. And follow by the ow powerful Allah is. Because this days, there are so many things we see as powerful than Allah although we say we believe in ALLAH. I reckon this is the important learning we need for our children in early age.
That's only my opinion from my experience..and what I observe.
Assalamu Alaikum. This is something i think about from time to time, it needs a lot of deep thinking that's for sure. I also tend to think along the same lines as you - a mix of everything is the best - the middle road. Some things need to be taught and other subjects can be determined by the child. But we should make sure we explain the benefit of learning each subject so they will be motivated to learn. For example, for memorizing Qur'an - you can explain that after the Day of Judgement when we enter Jannah (inshaAllah) we will be asked to recite the Qur'an we know. As we recite we will start rising through the levels of Jannah. And the more we have memorized, the closer we will be to the highest level in Jannah, the closer we will be to Allah, the Prophets, and the Sahabah!! For the child just starting to memorize the first surahs - Fatiha and Ikhlas, i make it a big deal that once they memorize these two they will be able to be an Imam and lead the prayer for us.
When we received our homeschooling books from Calvert and Ad-duha at the beginning of the year, my 6 yr old daughter was very excited about all the subjects and is happy to do her lessons. My 4 yr old was excited about his books and learning his subjects mainly from jealousy of his older sister.
Ameen to your du'a.
finie,
i agree with you. that's what I have been doing too (as islam is a way of life we teach it usu as impromptu lessons), but for the Quran I am a bit confused but after reading everyone's comments and other friends I asked, I think I have a better idea now inshaallah. Thank so much for all yoru feedbacks :) hugs
mona ummibrahim,
i did tell them that..i guess I'll have to tell it again in a more enthusiastic way..but a friend told me something that I will also apply in our lives inshaallah :) jazakillah khair for the inputs!
alhamdulillah though, overall I haven't ruined my kids much in the islamic aspects :P but in the secular maybe bec of the school-at-home system we've been doing, but islamic stuff we've always been doing impromptu so they've always appreciated it, so ummi is right. but the quran part i guess we have to tweak it a little..more audio, immersion style..basically living it as much as we can...alhamdulillah..parenting makes us better muslims inshaallah :)
salam nadia...
i'm due in early may..huhu..tak lama lg dah..skrg pon dah terasa 'berat' sgt..i'm a small-sized person..tinggi ponn tak sampai 150cm tau!but last time hafiy weighed 3700g and this time pon would probably be the same so maybe you can imagine how big my tummy is!hehe
owh btw..i just want to say i do agree with the idea of teaching Islam as impromptu lessons because Islam is a way of life...you will learn it along your journey of life and it will never ends, so it better be 'want-to-do' things rather than 'must-do' things.(although at certain point and age the 'must-do' things will come around)
but about the quran memorization i do believe there is no harm to teach your child from early age..maybe just for the sake of getting familiar with it or to make it easy for him to recite better(with correct tajweed etc) afterward as memorization in early age do stick deep down inside your brain and will come out instantaneously, without you noticing it(pardon me for being a science freak and pardon my broken english..hehe..after 7yrs of no english only japanese life..dah berkarat!!!but i'm trying my best here!)
owh..btw may i ask...do you do hs preschool level?if you do kat mana u dpt curriculum tuh ek?if from the internet maybe you can give me any links etc cos i dah kering idea skrg nih..and i felt like i have no guide at all..no plan not organized etc..
Hey Nadia, I haven't finished my first blanket. Girl, I'm behind. Insha'Allah once I progress (been doing way too much reading to have time to crochet honestly) I will share my excitement.
I wanted to ask you if you had read any of John Taylor Gatto's books? I recently came across him and wow! He has allowed me to think even deeper about why the public school system is so horrible, and I thought to come here and ask you since you are one of the most successful homeschooling families I know. Give me some input.
About unschooling... that's what we are doing with Layth right now. At first I felt all the pressure to teach him this and that, you know to be ahead. We were even working with him on 100 easy lessons to teach your child to read which uses the Distar method. You may be familiar with it. We saw progress, a lot of it actually, alhamdulillah. I was introduced to the waldorf method and since then I decided to back off. My son wasn't into the reading 100% yet, and so I thought that maybe if I give him space and time he will come to it on his own. I really believe the more traditional way is to leave them till 7 years old. That's what my own parents did with me because I didn't attend preschool or kindergarten even. So that is some of my thoughts. I also think I will take a more liberal approach when I do homeschool my kids, insha'Allah. As to the method, not sure of that yet.
mommy hafiy,
then we are probably about the same height! heheh finally I found someone else who is about my size :) i can relate to how big you feel then kalau saiz hafiy dulu camtu hihihi
preschool..no didn't follow a curiculum per se...preschool is really a fun time....i just did lessons at random basically...enjoy the time when they're small !! I miss those years! actually just reading any books, you can maybe get ideas of how to create lesson plans from those stories..but just reading for fun is enough in itself I believe. as for math...there are books for children those age too..so literature is definitely a good way, and seeing that yo're nognna be stuck with a baby soon, books might be the best way..(I was going to suggest nature walks) :D
umm layth,
haa...gatto,no..i will search for his books..I've been reading too..stopped crocheting too lol....oh umm layth you give me too much credit ! I'm still fishing around since I homeschool but with the 'school at home method' so this transition is going to be a new change for us but inshaallah a better change inshaallah!!
I'm kind of shocked you haven't heard of him. But I guess the only way I heard of him was because someone recommended a book that Shaykh Hamza Yusuf cowrote with him, which is supposed to be really good (on children and education). I searched it in my local library and I'm currently reading one and my husband the other. He's just such a great speaker. If you search on npr.org they have one small talk with him which was very beneficial. He also has his own site: www.johntaylorgatto.com and there are things on youtube and video google.
He was a public school teacher for more than 30 years, won Teacher of the year awards, and has been someone who talks about the evils of the system, promoting homeschooling etc...
I don't think I give you too much credit. I think that what you are doing with your kids is beautiful and natural. I also think any parent who is determined can do it, but you are one example that I admire. Your oldest daughter is an inspiration to me (not just because she can crochet or take care of babies :p). She's very mature and I know she looks up to you, masha'Allah.
May Allah bless you and your family and continue increasing you in good. Ameen
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