You're just making an excuse

I've been lamenting over the lack of motivation to exercise, and everything I look in the mirror, the silent laments start their run, and I tell myself.

"Tomorrow I'm going to exercise."

However, the sheer will power that drove me to force myself to workout half an hour everyday in my heydays of 'a young momma with three small youngins under the age of 4' is gone, or maybe buried under the layers of unsightly fat I now own. Since hubby busted his knee, I do not have a tennis partner for the Tennis Sundays. I thought I could play with the kids, but, let's face it, we end up picking up balls more than playing. Even though that burns calories, it also burns my patience. Hubby has been telling me to put up an advert in the masjid saying something like,

"Need a female tennis partner to play with on Sundays after Fajr."

I don't think I will do such a thing, though in desperation, I was tempted to.

I thought of rollerblading since S just got new used rollerblades as gift from hubby, and I thought of biking, but these remain as thoughts so far. I thought of jumproping in the house, but alas, our jumprope is either discarded or missing somewhere, and though I can easily make a Chinese jumprope from the bag of rubber bands we have, I lack the motivation to do so.

This morning, after nursing Baby Z for his morning nap, I went downstairs with the intent to exercise to the video cassettes that we have, and as I walked through the living room, I announced this to the kids.

"I want to exercise but I'm so lazy. You have to help me move."

"Ok, we will. We'll exercise with you!"

I haven't worked out in the house for a long time, and the last time I did, the shoes that I wore specifically inside the house has grown slippery, so I slightly recalled wearing it outside.

"Do you guys remember if I wore this outside?"

"No, you didn't."

"Eh, I think I did. See the bottom's dirty."

"You're just making an excuse, Ummi," H said, as I went upstairs to wash the soles in the bathtub.

"Hmm, now it's wet. H can you please put this outside so it'll dry?"

He did, and I continued,

"Hmm...now I can't exercise, 'cause my shoes are wet."

"I think I'll just do Pilates. You wanna do it with me?"

"Yeah!"

So I did, with H next to me, grunting and giggling, making me lose control and giggle too. While I pushed on, he stopped, complaining that it was too difficult.

I was happy I pushed myself to exercise, because I do feel better, not as sluggish, but I only hope this will not be a 'one-time' thing. Tomorrow, I don't have an 'excuse' since my shoes are dry, though I do have minor surgery tomorrow (which I'm not too happy about).

But to my announcement, N asked me,

"Why do you wanna be thin again?"

Hmm...am I that fat?