"You wanna go out?"
"No," the girls chorused from their room.
They're too engrossed in crocheting dolls since a few days ago. I still am amazed at S's ability to read the crochet instructions, when I myself find them rather...hyroglyphicsish. When we entered the library last weekend, as usual, my gaze would fall upon the display shelf on the right, and quickly, I would scan it, looking for interesting non fiction books. Summers ago I used to indulge in reading fictions, but I can't even finish reading the non fiction books I have now, so the fiction will just have to sit in the back burner (if I ever get to them that is). I spotted the book Toys to Crochet, and pointed it out to the kids. The girls took it, and really took to it right away. Before long, S had her crochet needles out, and was crocheting away.
Yesterday, she showed me the doll she is making. Let's just say,
"This girl has some talent!"
Mashaallah!
Only H wanted to go out, so after heating a small bowl of nasi goreng for myself, and fishing for an abaya, hijab, and socks, we went outside, H on his bike, me walking pushing Baby Z in his stroller. H was about to take me to the creek, the talked-about creek where they saw beavers, frogs and tadpoles. On the way, as H biked in front of me, I said to him,
"Hmm, maybe we can go to Big Lots. But Oh, I didn't bring my money."
In all honesty, I was just looking for some exercise. I have been cooped up in the house, in front of the computer so much, that it's just ridiculous. I know I have to exercise and at least have some fresh air, but the books and writing are too compelling to leave behind. What with struggling finding time to write, I couldn't leave the house willingly. This morning, I made sure I did.
Walking all the way to Big Lots sounded appealing to me, because of the potential calories I would burn, and the possible muscle building that might occur. So, we decided to go, even without money. As we neared the traffic lights, H remarked,
"Where would I put my bike?"
This is what happens when you do something on impulse. I'm not a naturally impulsive person, I love planning. So what happened next, was a result of a lack of planning on my part.
"I can go home and get my bike lock."
I let him go, and waited with Baby Z under the cool shade of the a tree. Baby Z adores being out, and in his silent manner, he observed everything around him, pointing every now and then. It reminded me of the times when I used to take the three kids out in the mornings when they were respectively 3, 2, and almost 1 year old.
After a few minutes, I saw H approaching on his bike.
"S's coming!"
I groaned inside. My impulsive plan did not include lugging all four kids to the store. That's just work.
"How about N? Is she coming?"
"No."
"No, she's not leaving N at home by herself. Go back and tell her she's not coming," I said to H, feeling irritation creeping up my neck.
"If N comes can she go?" asked H. He probably feels bad for his sister.
"No, tell her, if she wants to go, we can go later with the van."
H rushed back, and came back to me with
"She still wants to go. And N's coming too."
I feel the irritation growing. What was supposed to be simple mother with two children has turned into mother with four children to watch and mind while crossing the road.
Well, we ended up just that: a mother with four children around her skirt.
On the way back home, I asked them to show me the creek. Boy, was I surprised to find out that the creek was actually more of a sewer.
"That's not a creek! It's a sewer!"
It was also fenced, and as I followed S through brambles and bushes, I found myself standing outside the compounds of Buckeye Village. It was a child's heaven, though I also found myself being rather scared. As S dodged branches, and crawled under bushes, I hesitated. I was holding the camcorder, but my hesitation was due to an irrational fear of snakes and unexpected animals pouncing on me. Seriously, being an adult is not fun. When I was S's age, I used to romp around my father's orchard, chasing the geese, chickens, dodging ninjas between the tapioca trees and chicken hut, running around the man made fish pond where biawaks (type of lizard) have been spotted eating the fish, and pretending I was in the jungle. But now, I'm scared to even crawl through some harmless bushes to see the 'rooms' the kids had found.
I was disappointed with myself. I could't seem to get over the fear. Maybe I've been reading too much. However, I did do one thing that I haven't done for quite some time; ride a bike. Personally I hate riding bikes, for reason I don't wish to disclose here, but boy was I tempted to this morning, in the heat of the moment. Actually I just wanted to see if I could get on it without looking too ridiculous. As soon as I got on it, it felt fearfully high, and I asked S how she managed.
She proceeded to push me, but I screamed, and begged her to stop. She then proceeded to show me how, and indignantly I responded,
"I know how to ride a bike!"
Well, let's just say, I got on it, pedaled, and pedaled all the way home, taking a route where the least number of people could see me. I did pass by the child care center where the children were paying outside on the way. As I pedaled, I began to think,
"Hmm...this is quite fun. It's good exercise too."
Since my rollerblades are now gone, maybe...maybe...
Monday, June 02, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Unmotivated Child
I was reading a back issue of Home Education Magazine, and came across a question-answer article titled Stifled by Excellence. The questioner was a homeschooling dad who is troubled by his unmotivated 13 year old daughter who has been homeschooled by her mother who is a perfectionist. Her mother has given up in pushing her daughter to 'do school', and handed over the task to the father. The father was asking how he could change his daughter to have crave learning.
The problem sounds a little bit like the problem I was having with my kids, who would groan whenever I tell them to 'do school'. I had read about how 'public-school-at-home' deemed as homeschooling is actually detrimental to the status of traditional homeschooling in America, but in the chaos of 'schooling' my kids, I had not enough time to ponder over the matter. I knew in the depths of my heart that the 'school' I was imposing on my children are in a way making them hate 'learning'. In this way, they are no different than kids who go to school. But I was too caught up in worries of not having official records to show for their schooling when we go back to Malaysia, if we do (which I hope not for simplicity's sake- with regards to their schooling). Plus, hubby said that we could not afford to homeschool them the traditional way, and to keep doing the 'umbrella program' because the computer and other materials are free. So I did stick with it, until recently, thanks to the arrival of Baby Z, who made me rethink everything, and research everything again, with fresh eyes, and a new open mind.
The advice given to this problem is that of common sense. Well, it seems common sense to me now, at least. Instead of focusing to change the child, the father is advised to change himself first, build a relationship with his daughter, let his daughter pursue and discover her interests, and allow her to make mistakes. And instead of focusing on perfection and doing school, she should be allowed to explore the world at her own pace so she might discover her true interests. A love of learning is developed when it is not forced. That is true. I can say that from observation of my children and my own experience.
This morning, the three kids and I went out to play tennis, while Baby Z napped at home, with hubby to watch him. After tennis, which was not that productive because the morning was somewhat hot since we went a little late, around 10 am, so we headed for the library. Since the kids were already engrossed in their little 'research' and Powerpoint presentations, they were excited when I told them they could check out books. I grabbed my reserved book from the reserve shelf, and looked for the kids in the children's section.
They were nowhere to be seen. Suffice it to say, I was a little concerned, and headed for the van, thinking that they might be there, but they were not. So I went back to the library, and looked for them again. In my head, I was already thinking of child abduction. Lo and behold, I found them in the non fiction aisle in the adult section. The library had recently revamped its aisles, so all the non fiction books were put in the adult section.
I held my tongue, which was about to say,
"Where'd you guys go?! I was looking for you!"
Worry is commonly replaced by anger once the cause for worry is gone, isn't it? Especially when it concerns your loved ones.
I truly think the unschooling concept about allowing children to explore their own interest has a lot of merit. I already see it in action in my kids now. Alhamdulillah.
I also read another article about homeschoolers worrying about formal credentials. It was interesting to note that this is what most people worry about when considering unschooling in the complete sense. (The definition of unschooling plays an important role in this discussion). In the article, it was said that formal credentials such as degrees, diplomas, certificates and such are so prestigious today that none will dare to question their worth. However, in essence, when looking for a job, informal credentials are what will distinguish you from all the other people with the same formal credentials. Plus, it makes more sense to hone your strengths in developing your informal credentials than to put your nose to the grindstone to gather the formal credentials, while not knowing what your true interests are. This was true for me. I went into my major, just like everybody else, not having my heart in it, but only doing so because it was the normal thing to do.
Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to attain those formal credentials if you already know your interests beforehand. I only attained 'formal credentials' in my areas of interests after I graduated from college. I won't say my time in college is a waste, because it was what has shaped me into who I am today, but you have to admit that there are some things in life that you could have approached in a better way in order to optimize and maximize the output, here and in the hereafter.
The problem sounds a little bit like the problem I was having with my kids, who would groan whenever I tell them to 'do school'. I had read about how 'public-school-at-home' deemed as homeschooling is actually detrimental to the status of traditional homeschooling in America, but in the chaos of 'schooling' my kids, I had not enough time to ponder over the matter. I knew in the depths of my heart that the 'school' I was imposing on my children are in a way making them hate 'learning'. In this way, they are no different than kids who go to school. But I was too caught up in worries of not having official records to show for their schooling when we go back to Malaysia, if we do (which I hope not for simplicity's sake- with regards to their schooling). Plus, hubby said that we could not afford to homeschool them the traditional way, and to keep doing the 'umbrella program' because the computer and other materials are free. So I did stick with it, until recently, thanks to the arrival of Baby Z, who made me rethink everything, and research everything again, with fresh eyes, and a new open mind.
The advice given to this problem is that of common sense. Well, it seems common sense to me now, at least. Instead of focusing to change the child, the father is advised to change himself first, build a relationship with his daughter, let his daughter pursue and discover her interests, and allow her to make mistakes. And instead of focusing on perfection and doing school, she should be allowed to explore the world at her own pace so she might discover her true interests. A love of learning is developed when it is not forced. That is true. I can say that from observation of my children and my own experience.
This morning, the three kids and I went out to play tennis, while Baby Z napped at home, with hubby to watch him. After tennis, which was not that productive because the morning was somewhat hot since we went a little late, around 10 am, so we headed for the library. Since the kids were already engrossed in their little 'research' and Powerpoint presentations, they were excited when I told them they could check out books. I grabbed my reserved book from the reserve shelf, and looked for the kids in the children's section.
They were nowhere to be seen. Suffice it to say, I was a little concerned, and headed for the van, thinking that they might be there, but they were not. So I went back to the library, and looked for them again. In my head, I was already thinking of child abduction. Lo and behold, I found them in the non fiction aisle in the adult section. The library had recently revamped its aisles, so all the non fiction books were put in the adult section.
I held my tongue, which was about to say,
"Where'd you guys go?! I was looking for you!"
Worry is commonly replaced by anger once the cause for worry is gone, isn't it? Especially when it concerns your loved ones.
I truly think the unschooling concept about allowing children to explore their own interest has a lot of merit. I already see it in action in my kids now. Alhamdulillah.
I also read another article about homeschoolers worrying about formal credentials. It was interesting to note that this is what most people worry about when considering unschooling in the complete sense. (The definition of unschooling plays an important role in this discussion). In the article, it was said that formal credentials such as degrees, diplomas, certificates and such are so prestigious today that none will dare to question their worth. However, in essence, when looking for a job, informal credentials are what will distinguish you from all the other people with the same formal credentials. Plus, it makes more sense to hone your strengths in developing your informal credentials than to put your nose to the grindstone to gather the formal credentials, while not knowing what your true interests are. This was true for me. I went into my major, just like everybody else, not having my heart in it, but only doing so because it was the normal thing to do.
Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to attain those formal credentials if you already know your interests beforehand. I only attained 'formal credentials' in my areas of interests after I graduated from college. I won't say my time in college is a waste, because it was what has shaped me into who I am today, but you have to admit that there are some things in life that you could have approached in a better way in order to optimize and maximize the output, here and in the hereafter.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Powerpoint Craze!
Well it seems like everyone is doing his/her Powerpoint presentation today. I woke up to find the kids on the computer, working on their 'current interest'; H - monkeys, N - cats, S -horses.
My urge to use the computer had to be suppressed because I didn't want to shoo them off while they're doing something rather 'beneficial' (at least to my schooled mindset). H and N had started on their Powerpoint files yesterday, and S, seeing both of them glued to the computer, followed suit, and shooed N off the computer upstairs, claiming that N had used the computer all day yesterday to work on PPT. Fancy that! Usually you shoo your sibling off the computer because you want to play a computer game!
I looked at N's PPT, and it turned out that she had merely googled the different breed of cats, copied and pasted the information about them in her PPT slides. So we talked about plagiarism, (again). The next time I looked at it, she had changed some things, but S said,
"No, she only changed a few words."
We talked about plagiarism again.
"But I don't know what to write," lamented N.
"See here, the graph. Maybe you can write, oh, this cat is very gentle, from looking at the docility level from the graph," I said.
After that I think she got the idea.
As for H, he's on a roll with his monkey business!
"Ummi, do you know the difference between ape and monkeys?"
"No."
"Apes don't have tails!"
"Oh!" Now, I really didn't know that. That was news to me. Pretty interesting!
I found dictionary.com opened as tabs on the browser. Apparently, they were looking up words they don't understand from what they were reading on their subject matter.
"Ummi, what's mutilated?"
"Oh, it means when you cut off limbs, and pieces of your body. Hamzah Abdul Mutallib was mutilated because Hind ripped his liver out."
He looked at me, glasses sliding down his nose, giving him that old professor look, and nodded.
"Colobus is Greek for mutilated."
Ahh...I received another interesting piece of information.
Were I to write down all that they're doing now, educationalesed of course, it would probably look like this:
S:
Science: Hands on experience observing wildlife in a nearby creek. Learned to distinguish a groundhog from a beaver. Observed a beaver/groundhog hole. Looked up information about beavers/groundhogs in books and the internet. Used the dictionary to look up words she doesn't know.
Math: Measured out ingredients for making pizza. Used the timer. Counted her savings, and updated it on her online ledger, subtracting and adding new amounts.
Technology: used Microsoft Powerpoint. Looked up information on the internet. Used the online dictionary. Found images on the internet, related to her research, and manipulated them in her Powerpoint slides.
and so on...except I didn't really keep track of all the resources they used. I can see how this might work already.
But for now it seems that we're having Powerpoint Mania. Good thing I didn't let them play outside yesterday, and they're already sick and tired of the computer games.
My urge to use the computer had to be suppressed because I didn't want to shoo them off while they're doing something rather 'beneficial' (at least to my schooled mindset). H and N had started on their Powerpoint files yesterday, and S, seeing both of them glued to the computer, followed suit, and shooed N off the computer upstairs, claiming that N had used the computer all day yesterday to work on PPT. Fancy that! Usually you shoo your sibling off the computer because you want to play a computer game!
I looked at N's PPT, and it turned out that she had merely googled the different breed of cats, copied and pasted the information about them in her PPT slides. So we talked about plagiarism, (again). The next time I looked at it, she had changed some things, but S said,
"No, she only changed a few words."
We talked about plagiarism again.
"But I don't know what to write," lamented N.
"See here, the graph. Maybe you can write, oh, this cat is very gentle, from looking at the docility level from the graph," I said.
After that I think she got the idea.
As for H, he's on a roll with his monkey business!
"Ummi, do you know the difference between ape and monkeys?"
"No."
"Apes don't have tails!"
"Oh!" Now, I really didn't know that. That was news to me. Pretty interesting!
I found dictionary.com opened as tabs on the browser. Apparently, they were looking up words they don't understand from what they were reading on their subject matter.
"Ummi, what's mutilated?"
"Oh, it means when you cut off limbs, and pieces of your body. Hamzah Abdul Mutallib was mutilated because Hind ripped his liver out."
He looked at me, glasses sliding down his nose, giving him that old professor look, and nodded.
"Colobus is Greek for mutilated."
Ahh...I received another interesting piece of information.
Were I to write down all that they're doing now, educationalesed of course, it would probably look like this:
S:
Science: Hands on experience observing wildlife in a nearby creek. Learned to distinguish a groundhog from a beaver. Observed a beaver/groundhog hole. Looked up information about beavers/groundhogs in books and the internet. Used the dictionary to look up words she doesn't know.
Math: Measured out ingredients for making pizza. Used the timer. Counted her savings, and updated it on her online ledger, subtracting and adding new amounts.
Technology: used Microsoft Powerpoint. Looked up information on the internet. Used the online dictionary. Found images on the internet, related to her research, and manipulated them in her Powerpoint slides.
and so on...except I didn't really keep track of all the resources they used. I can see how this might work already.
But for now it seems that we're having Powerpoint Mania. Good thing I didn't let them play outside yesterday, and they're already sick and tired of the computer games.
Vaccine Resources
From the book: Vaccine Guide Risks and benefits for Children and Adults by Randall Neustaedter OMD
I thought I'd jot down the resources mentioned at the end of the book for future references.
Resources:
National Vaccine Information Center
National Center for Homeopathy
Council for Homeopathic Certification
Homeopathic Educational Services
Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System
Books:
What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Children's Vaccinations
A Shot in the Dark
Immunization: The Reality Behind the Myth
Vaccines: Are They Really Safe and Effective?
Websites:
Updates to the Vaccine Guide
Vaccine Information & Awareness (VIA)
Center for Disease Control
Practitioner Directories:
Directory of naturopathic physicians
American Association of Oriental Medicine members
Members of the California State Oriental Medical Association
Now I can return this book to the library.
I thought I'd jot down the resources mentioned at the end of the book for future references.
Resources:
National Vaccine Information Center
National Center for Homeopathy
Council for Homeopathic Certification
Homeopathic Educational Services
Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System
Books:
What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Children's Vaccinations
A Shot in the Dark
Immunization: The Reality Behind the Myth
Vaccines: Are They Really Safe and Effective?
Websites:
Updates to the Vaccine Guide
Vaccine Information & Awareness (VIA)
Center for Disease Control
Practitioner Directories:
Directory of naturopathic physicians
American Association of Oriental Medicine members
Members of the California State Oriental Medical Association
Now I can return this book to the library.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Left on Their Own
We have been having blissful days of unschooling. Our daily schedule is roughly like this now:
Fajr -> Quran -> breakfast -> feed Baby Z breakfast -> play outside -> lunch -> feed Baby Z lunch -> chores ->Zuhr -> naptime -> reading/computer games -> Asr -> play outside -> dinner -> feed Baby Z dinner -> maghrib -> Isha -> bedtime
Well, the kids' schedule that is. Playing outside seems to provide them with a lot of hands on science lessons in the animal kingdom. Like always, they come back and chatter excitedly about the animals they found in the creek; frogs, beavers, groundhogs, fish.
Recently, they came home and told me they had built their home out of twigs and branches, and that each of them have their own rooms. I have yet to see this place. It reminds me of Bridge to Terabithia.
When they're home, they're either reading or playing computer games. I have to admit, I got hooked up on Pacman too at times, such that they had to tell me to stop. Nevertheless, after a while, they tired of playing computer games, and would go outside either to explore or play with the neighbor. For a while, they stayed indoors, prompting me to ask them,
"You guys are not playing outside today? How come?"
"There's nothing to do outside. We just ride our bikes and that's it."
I thought to myself,
"It's high time I get my behind off the computer chair and take them somewhere. It's summerish anyway."
Today, we went out in the morning. We were supposed to leave the house at 8:30 a.m. (my chosen time), but we ended up leaving around 9:45, what with all the eating, bathing Baby Z, getting the stuff in the van, nursing him. Alhamdulillah we weren't rushing. We did some grocery shopping, went to the library, and another library, and went back home.
H and N were forbidden from going out after Asr today because I had to remind them (not too patiently at that) to do their chores, when it is well known that chores come naturally after lunch.
"Can I do my orangutan essay on Powerpoint?" H asked me as I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner.
"You want to do an essay?"
"For fun?"
"Yeah."
I paused for a few seconds before exclaiming,
"Yeah! Go ahead! That's very good!"
"Me too!" chimed N, who was silently finishing her dinner.
"On cats?" I asked.
"Yes."
Before dinner, she brought the encyclopaedia of cat breeds to me to show me the different cats. This is her 'current interest'.
She was even reading a non fiction book on the History of cats, earlier today, that I remember thinking,
"Hmm...she seems to be the one most thriving in unschooling. S and H are obedient and submissive in schooling, but in unschooling, they don't seem to have that much 'fire', but N seems to flourish."
I was reading Christian Unschooling today, and one thing struck me regarding math. Consumer math (making change, balancing checkbooks, etc) can be learned naturally in daily life, or with some assistance. The author of the book said that she focuses on consumer math, and for the other types of math, if her children wish to pursue them later on, it will be up to them.
It kind of makes sense. I don't use the calculus I learned in college. I could have used that time to enhance my writing skill (something I'm interested in, only, I didn't realize I was interested in writing because of the schooling mindset plus the societal expectations that ruled all of the schooled children's lives).
So, I guess we will continue this relaxed experimental unschooling, and see how it goes. So far, I think the kids have learned a lot, all on their own, mashaallah. A take home message I got today from my reading about unschooling:
You're mostly a facilitator rather than a teacher. A huge difference indeed!
Fajr -> Quran -> breakfast -> feed Baby Z breakfast -> play outside -> lunch -> feed Baby Z lunch -> chores ->Zuhr -> naptime -> reading/computer games -> Asr -> play outside -> dinner -> feed Baby Z dinner -> maghrib -> Isha -> bedtime
Well, the kids' schedule that is. Playing outside seems to provide them with a lot of hands on science lessons in the animal kingdom. Like always, they come back and chatter excitedly about the animals they found in the creek; frogs, beavers, groundhogs, fish.
Recently, they came home and told me they had built their home out of twigs and branches, and that each of them have their own rooms. I have yet to see this place. It reminds me of Bridge to Terabithia.
When they're home, they're either reading or playing computer games. I have to admit, I got hooked up on Pacman too at times, such that they had to tell me to stop. Nevertheless, after a while, they tired of playing computer games, and would go outside either to explore or play with the neighbor. For a while, they stayed indoors, prompting me to ask them,
"You guys are not playing outside today? How come?"
"There's nothing to do outside. We just ride our bikes and that's it."
I thought to myself,
"It's high time I get my behind off the computer chair and take them somewhere. It's summerish anyway."
Today, we went out in the morning. We were supposed to leave the house at 8:30 a.m. (my chosen time), but we ended up leaving around 9:45, what with all the eating, bathing Baby Z, getting the stuff in the van, nursing him. Alhamdulillah we weren't rushing. We did some grocery shopping, went to the library, and another library, and went back home.
H and N were forbidden from going out after Asr today because I had to remind them (not too patiently at that) to do their chores, when it is well known that chores come naturally after lunch.
"Can I do my orangutan essay on Powerpoint?" H asked me as I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner.
"You want to do an essay?"
"For fun?"
"Yeah."
I paused for a few seconds before exclaiming,
"Yeah! Go ahead! That's very good!"
"Me too!" chimed N, who was silently finishing her dinner.
"On cats?" I asked.
"Yes."
Before dinner, she brought the encyclopaedia of cat breeds to me to show me the different cats. This is her 'current interest'.
She was even reading a non fiction book on the History of cats, earlier today, that I remember thinking,
"Hmm...she seems to be the one most thriving in unschooling. S and H are obedient and submissive in schooling, but in unschooling, they don't seem to have that much 'fire', but N seems to flourish."
I was reading Christian Unschooling today, and one thing struck me regarding math. Consumer math (making change, balancing checkbooks, etc) can be learned naturally in daily life, or with some assistance. The author of the book said that she focuses on consumer math, and for the other types of math, if her children wish to pursue them later on, it will be up to them.
It kind of makes sense. I don't use the calculus I learned in college. I could have used that time to enhance my writing skill (something I'm interested in, only, I didn't realize I was interested in writing because of the schooling mindset plus the societal expectations that ruled all of the schooled children's lives).
So, I guess we will continue this relaxed experimental unschooling, and see how it goes. So far, I think the kids have learned a lot, all on their own, mashaallah. A take home message I got today from my reading about unschooling:
You're mostly a facilitator rather than a teacher. A huge difference indeed!
Monday, May 26, 2008
What was my part about?
I have been skimping on N's Quran lately. We're supposed to do the reading, checking tajweed, and tafsir Ibn Kathir for half a page after Asr or Maghrib, and do memorization with meaning and some Arabic keywords after Zuhr.
So, last Sunday, after Fajr, I felt unexpectedly fresh, and I told N to get the mushaf and read with me. The day before, I had asked her to get her mushaf while waiting for Rh to do her '20-minute wudhu' (Rh, if you're reading, this is dedicated for you ;)), but she dawdled, and we blew that slice in time. So since she didn't read on Friday and Saturday, I made sure we read that Sunday. And since S and H haven't been reading with their father, I read with them too.
We ended up sitting in our prayer garments, and H is in his thawb, for about 2 hours that morning!
N went first, reading half a page of her portion in Surah Al-A'raaf. Then H read his one page portion in Surah An-Nisaa'. S then read her one page portion in Surah Hud. I then proceeded to read the verses they read and do the tafsir of each portion.
While waiting for S and H to be done, N laid in bed with her prayer garment, and fell asleep. When I was going over her portion, she was still sleeping.
"N's sleeping!" said S.
"That's ok. Leave her," I said.
Since the kids wake up for Fajr now, and stay up for Isha', we have a sleep problem. These kids do not want to go back to sleep after Fajr, and recently when I asked why, they said,
"Because we usually do Quran after fajr."
"Yeah, and then by the time we're done, we're hungry."
"And germy-breathed," quipped H, flashing his artificial dimple.
So when N slept, I was somewhat relieved, for even with their daily two hour or so nap, they still don't have enough sleep.
By the time we were done, Baby Z had a really full diaper, was fidgety because he had been romping around the room ever since we prayed Fajr, getting no breastmilk or food, and the time was 8:30 a.m. N happened to wake up while I was doing the Tafsir on S's portion, on when a group of angels came to Prophet Ibrahim alahis salam and then Prophet Lut alahis salam.
After S took Baby Z downstairs to feed him, I told N,
"You missed your part, N. You slept."
"No, I didn't," she replied.
"Yes you did."
She was so sleepy she didn't even realize she had fallen asleep. I'm sure it was a sound quality sleep, inshaallah. I put away the Tafsir books on the table, and she came to me and asked,
"What was my part about?"
To be honest, after all the elaboration on the story of Prophet Lut alahis salam, I had forgotten about what hers was about, and I didn't expect her to actually ask me what she missed, subhanallah!
I looked it up.
"Oh, it was about how when nations after nations are thrown into the hellfire, the newer nation will blame the earlier nations for misleading them."
And she went downstairs, satisfied, catching up with what she had missed. When she finished surah Al An'aam and started on Al A'raaf, I told her,
"Oh, N, this surah is interesting. It tells about some people who will be sitting on a wall and are able to see both hell and jannah."
Ever since then, she has been excited to listen to the tafsir, though she has always had a fascination for listening to the meaning before. In a few more verses, we will come to that part of the Surah.
Now, whenever I do the Tafsir with N, I ask the others to come and sit and listen too. Doing it in small chunks each time, I think, helps prevent burn out.
However, as soon as I looked at the time when we were done, I said out loud,
"We have been sitting here for 2 hours! Will never do this again."
Even though it's good, it's a tad unrealistic for us to do this everyday, because at some point, Baby Z might not cooperate waiting to be bathed, fed, and nursed so long, and long sessions may very well lead to burn out to the speaker and the listeners. Short sessions, I have found, work better with kids, as they retain the material longer and better.
"Stop before they ask you to stop," is my motto for any lessons with the kids.
So, last Sunday, after Fajr, I felt unexpectedly fresh, and I told N to get the mushaf and read with me. The day before, I had asked her to get her mushaf while waiting for Rh to do her '20-minute wudhu' (Rh, if you're reading, this is dedicated for you ;)), but she dawdled, and we blew that slice in time. So since she didn't read on Friday and Saturday, I made sure we read that Sunday. And since S and H haven't been reading with their father, I read with them too.
We ended up sitting in our prayer garments, and H is in his thawb, for about 2 hours that morning!
N went first, reading half a page of her portion in Surah Al-A'raaf. Then H read his one page portion in Surah An-Nisaa'. S then read her one page portion in Surah Hud. I then proceeded to read the verses they read and do the tafsir of each portion.
While waiting for S and H to be done, N laid in bed with her prayer garment, and fell asleep. When I was going over her portion, she was still sleeping.
"N's sleeping!" said S.
"That's ok. Leave her," I said.
Since the kids wake up for Fajr now, and stay up for Isha', we have a sleep problem. These kids do not want to go back to sleep after Fajr, and recently when I asked why, they said,
"Because we usually do Quran after fajr."
"Yeah, and then by the time we're done, we're hungry."
"And germy-breathed," quipped H, flashing his artificial dimple.
So when N slept, I was somewhat relieved, for even with their daily two hour or so nap, they still don't have enough sleep.
By the time we were done, Baby Z had a really full diaper, was fidgety because he had been romping around the room ever since we prayed Fajr, getting no breastmilk or food, and the time was 8:30 a.m. N happened to wake up while I was doing the Tafsir on S's portion, on when a group of angels came to Prophet Ibrahim alahis salam and then Prophet Lut alahis salam.
After S took Baby Z downstairs to feed him, I told N,
"You missed your part, N. You slept."
"No, I didn't," she replied.
"Yes you did."
She was so sleepy she didn't even realize she had fallen asleep. I'm sure it was a sound quality sleep, inshaallah. I put away the Tafsir books on the table, and she came to me and asked,
"What was my part about?"
To be honest, after all the elaboration on the story of Prophet Lut alahis salam, I had forgotten about what hers was about, and I didn't expect her to actually ask me what she missed, subhanallah!
I looked it up.
"Oh, it was about how when nations after nations are thrown into the hellfire, the newer nation will blame the earlier nations for misleading them."
And she went downstairs, satisfied, catching up with what she had missed. When she finished surah Al An'aam and started on Al A'raaf, I told her,
"Oh, N, this surah is interesting. It tells about some people who will be sitting on a wall and are able to see both hell and jannah."
Ever since then, she has been excited to listen to the tafsir, though she has always had a fascination for listening to the meaning before. In a few more verses, we will come to that part of the Surah.
Now, whenever I do the Tafsir with N, I ask the others to come and sit and listen too. Doing it in small chunks each time, I think, helps prevent burn out.
However, as soon as I looked at the time when we were done, I said out loud,
"We have been sitting here for 2 hours! Will never do this again."
Even though it's good, it's a tad unrealistic for us to do this everyday, because at some point, Baby Z might not cooperate waiting to be bathed, fed, and nursed so long, and long sessions may very well lead to burn out to the speaker and the listeners. Short sessions, I have found, work better with kids, as they retain the material longer and better.
"Stop before they ask you to stop," is my motto for any lessons with the kids.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Party!
Hubby left for Illinois Friday afternoon, and Ummi had herself some girlish fun. We invited Rh to come and sleep over, called Auntie Sh, and planned a picnic for Saturday.
With some broiled marinated chicken drumsticks, Fried rice, and Auntie Sh's Pad Thai, we headed off for Whetstone Park of Roses and sat at the picnic table by the casting pond. H brought hubby's rollerblades and they all took turns skating around the pond while the women ate and took turns watching the babies.
The weather was nice, not too hot, not too cold. We should do this more often.
I recall the picnic I had with the kids at Upper Arlington Library. That was quite some time ago, when S wasn't even wearing hijab yet. She skated too at the time while we sat at the table, eating our Biryani. I love picnics like that. The kids love it too.
Hubby though is the practical kind of guy, no picnics - "too much of a hassle" he says. As far as I remember, we have never had a picnic as a whole family. It has always been me and the kids. When my mother came, she had a picnic with the kids too, right here in Buckeye Village.
On Friday though, as I watched the kids skating outside the house, I asked them,
"Where're my rollerblades?"
Once I was pregnant with Baby Z, I stopped rollerblading, and for a while forgot about it. S's friend, M, used to come over and use my rollerblades. When I asked them where my rollerblades were, they said,
"M borrowed it."
"You mean she never returned it?!"
I was dismayed. M's family has recently moved back to Algeria, and she never returned my blades. Poof! Just like that. Subhanallah!
Suffice it to say, I was very dismayed, and mourned the loss of my rollerblades, now that I am able to use it again. Inna lillaaahi wainna ilaihi raaji'oon.
Today, we had the Somali sisters over for a gathering that was long overdue. All in all, it has been a really fun weekend, an all girls weekend.
The only thing that struck a sad chord in me was N's apparent attachment to hubby.
While we were praying, Rh came and got something from the table. After we were done, N said to me,
"Abi's here."
"No he's not."
"Yes, while we were praying, he took something from the table."
I had to convince her that that was Rh, and not her father. When I asked her if she missed her father, she nodded.
Today, when she woke up from her nap, she came down to the kitchen to me, and the first thing she asked was,
"Is Abi home yet?"
When she knew that hubby was not going to be home until later tonight, inshaallah.
As for the other two, they denied missing hubby, as expected. H just said,
"I want to see if he got a medal for the swimming."
With a stretched ligament, their father placed fourth in the swimming event. Upon hearing the news from Sh, I exclaimed,
"All the other swimmers must be so bad!"
With some broiled marinated chicken drumsticks, Fried rice, and Auntie Sh's Pad Thai, we headed off for Whetstone Park of Roses and sat at the picnic table by the casting pond. H brought hubby's rollerblades and they all took turns skating around the pond while the women ate and took turns watching the babies.
The weather was nice, not too hot, not too cold. We should do this more often.
I recall the picnic I had with the kids at Upper Arlington Library. That was quite some time ago, when S wasn't even wearing hijab yet. She skated too at the time while we sat at the table, eating our Biryani. I love picnics like that. The kids love it too.
Hubby though is the practical kind of guy, no picnics - "too much of a hassle" he says. As far as I remember, we have never had a picnic as a whole family. It has always been me and the kids. When my mother came, she had a picnic with the kids too, right here in Buckeye Village.
On Friday though, as I watched the kids skating outside the house, I asked them,
"Where're my rollerblades?"
Once I was pregnant with Baby Z, I stopped rollerblading, and for a while forgot about it. S's friend, M, used to come over and use my rollerblades. When I asked them where my rollerblades were, they said,
"M borrowed it."
"You mean she never returned it?!"
I was dismayed. M's family has recently moved back to Algeria, and she never returned my blades. Poof! Just like that. Subhanallah!
Suffice it to say, I was very dismayed, and mourned the loss of my rollerblades, now that I am able to use it again. Inna lillaaahi wainna ilaihi raaji'oon.
Today, we had the Somali sisters over for a gathering that was long overdue. All in all, it has been a really fun weekend, an all girls weekend.
The only thing that struck a sad chord in me was N's apparent attachment to hubby.
While we were praying, Rh came and got something from the table. After we were done, N said to me,
"Abi's here."
"No he's not."
"Yes, while we were praying, he took something from the table."
I had to convince her that that was Rh, and not her father. When I asked her if she missed her father, she nodded.
Today, when she woke up from her nap, she came down to the kitchen to me, and the first thing she asked was,
"Is Abi home yet?"
When she knew that hubby was not going to be home until later tonight, inshaallah.
As for the other two, they denied missing hubby, as expected. H just said,
"I want to see if he got a medal for the swimming."
With a stretched ligament, their father placed fourth in the swimming event. Upon hearing the news from Sh, I exclaimed,
"All the other swimmers must be so bad!"
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Pizza! Pizza! Bellisimo!
This morning, after Fajr, N memorized a new du'a.
"I want a short one," she said, so I looked for a short one, and found them:
What to say when something pleases you,
Al7amdulillahi lathzee bi ni'matihi tatimmu assaali7aat
and what to say when something displeases you,
Al7amdulillah 'alaa kulli 7haal
As review, I presented scenarios to her, (made up ones) and she would respond appropriately.
"What if you get money?
"What if .."
"I have to feed Z," she intercepted (as something that would displease her)
At one point I said to her,
"What if suddenly you get pizza?"
And somehow later on during the day, H told me that hubby said he is going to eat pizza at the Midwest Games, and H added,
"Can we go?"
That's how much pizza we don't get to eat at home. So I told him that we can make our own, dough and everything.
We all took our naps after Zuhr, and I happened to fall asleep later than that because Baby Z was not that sleepy, and romped about the bed while I shielded myself with a pillow. So when the kids woke up, I was still sleeping. When my eyes fluttered open, I thought to myself,
"What is this smell, it's like something's in the oven. They can't be making pizza. They don't have the recipe. I'm too sleepy, I'll just tell them to make it some other time. We don't even know if we have pizza sauce,"
and I went back to sleep, the smell of 'something in the oven' still lingering in the house.
When I did wake up for good, N came in the room and told me that they had made pizza and even eaten it for dinner.
"All of it? Where'd you get the recipe? The cheese? Who grated it? Did you find Pizza sauce? You already ate it? You made it all on your own?"
Suffice it to say I was in complete disbelief. When I went downstairs, there was the pizza, half eaten, and looking perfect! Mashaallah!
Apparently, they had googled the recipe from the Internet, and forgoed mine. They grated the cheese themselves, found the pizza sauce in the can, made the dough, shaped it, lathered the sauce and topped it, baked it, ate it, all without burning the house down! Alhamdulillah!
N said, that H said,
"Ummi didn't even have to check if we're burning the house down!"
The impressive thing is, they even cleaned up after themselves, and did the dishes!
What a pity I can't take a bite, due to Baby Z's wheat and dairy allergy. But otherwise, I commended their work, very well done, mashaallah! It reminds me of my lovely sister-rellas cleaning my house from top to bottom while I was napping during my pregnancy with Baby Z. When I woke up, the sister-rellas were all gone, and all I got was a love note from them. Ahhh...such lovely sisters! I will never forget that.
So now...I have to be careful what I tell the kids they can make. I might be in for another surprise, provided they don't burn the house down.
Al7amdulillahi lathzee bini'matihi tatimmu as saali7aat.
"I want a short one," she said, so I looked for a short one, and found them:
What to say when something pleases you,
Al7amdulillahi lathzee bi ni'matihi tatimmu assaali7aat
and what to say when something displeases you,
Al7amdulillah 'alaa kulli 7haal
As review, I presented scenarios to her, (made up ones) and she would respond appropriately.
"What if you get money?
"What if .."
"I have to feed Z," she intercepted (as something that would displease her)
At one point I said to her,
"What if suddenly you get pizza?"
And somehow later on during the day, H told me that hubby said he is going to eat pizza at the Midwest Games, and H added,
"Can we go?"
That's how much pizza we don't get to eat at home. So I told him that we can make our own, dough and everything.
We all took our naps after Zuhr, and I happened to fall asleep later than that because Baby Z was not that sleepy, and romped about the bed while I shielded myself with a pillow. So when the kids woke up, I was still sleeping. When my eyes fluttered open, I thought to myself,
"What is this smell, it's like something's in the oven. They can't be making pizza. They don't have the recipe. I'm too sleepy, I'll just tell them to make it some other time. We don't even know if we have pizza sauce,"
and I went back to sleep, the smell of 'something in the oven' still lingering in the house.
When I did wake up for good, N came in the room and told me that they had made pizza and even eaten it for dinner.
"All of it? Where'd you get the recipe? The cheese? Who grated it? Did you find Pizza sauce? You already ate it? You made it all on your own?"
Suffice it to say I was in complete disbelief. When I went downstairs, there was the pizza, half eaten, and looking perfect! Mashaallah!
Apparently, they had googled the recipe from the Internet, and forgoed mine. They grated the cheese themselves, found the pizza sauce in the can, made the dough, shaped it, lathered the sauce and topped it, baked it, ate it, all without burning the house down! Alhamdulillah!
N said, that H said,
"Ummi didn't even have to check if we're burning the house down!"
The impressive thing is, they even cleaned up after themselves, and did the dishes!
What a pity I can't take a bite, due to Baby Z's wheat and dairy allergy. But otherwise, I commended their work, very well done, mashaallah! It reminds me of my lovely sister-rellas cleaning my house from top to bottom while I was napping during my pregnancy with Baby Z. When I woke up, the sister-rellas were all gone, and all I got was a love note from them. Ahhh...such lovely sisters! I will never forget that.
So now...I have to be careful what I tell the kids they can make. I might be in for another surprise, provided they don't burn the house down.
Al7amdulillahi lathzee bini'matihi tatimmu as saali7aat.
Correction to the previous post
Jazakillah khair Anis for making me read it again. I noticed a needed correction on my part. Here it is:
The fatwa says prizes for competition is not allowed in anything except archery, swimming, camel and horse races, because they are for the purposes of jihad.
Here is the ruling that I did not link to, it's pertaining to the permissibility of playing soccer. Allahu Aalim.
_________________________________________
Alhamdulillah though, I do not think hubby and H (inshaaallah) are doing all the haram things, but my reservations about the Midwest Games have more to do with the occasion itself. And just to make it clear, we are in no position to say something is haram or halal blatantly, for this is actually hanging a huge responsibility on our necks, astaghfirulah if I did or conveyed that in any way. I was just reading from Tafsir Ibn kathir to the kids after Maghrib from Surah Al A'raaf, from ayah 31-34.
This chunk talks about Allah refuting what the Arabs said concerning making tawaf around the Kaabah naked. They claimed that Allah commanded them to do so, whereas Allah commanded us to wear the adornments He had created for us, Libas(covering the necessary areas) and Rish(extra for adornment).
I think, with regards to the soccer mentioned above, it refers to those who are fanatic about it. There is also one ruling where the scholar said to assess how much time we are devoting to it, compared to everything else. Allaahu Aalim.
The fatwa says prizes for competition is not allowed in anything except archery, swimming, camel and horse races, because they are for the purposes of jihad.
Here is the ruling that I did not link to, it's pertaining to the permissibility of playing soccer. Allahu Aalim.
_________________________________________
Playing soccer is permissible subject to certain conditions.
1 – That it should not be for money, whether it is paid by the two teams, one of them or by a third party, because it is not permissible to give prizes except for competitions which help prepare one for jihad, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There should be no (money) prizes for competitions except archery competitions and races with camels and horses.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1700), al-Nasaa’i (3585), Abu Dawood (2575) and Ibn Maajah (2878); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Some scholars added to these three anything that helps in jihad and propagating Islam, such as competitions in knowledge of Qur’aan, hadeeth and fiqh, in which is permissible to offer prizes.
Therefore it is not permissible to give or take the prizes that are given to those who win soccer matches and tournaments between two or more teams, and they come under the heading of forbidden betting.
2 – The game should not be accompanied by anything haraam, such as uncovering the ‘awrah. The man’s ‘awrah is the area from the navel to the knee, and it is well known that most of those who play this game uncover their thighs, but this is haraam and is not permitted.
3 – The game should not lead to anything that is haraam, such as missing prayers, or missing Jumu’ah prayer or prayers in congregation. Unfortunately we say that many of those who play this game in clubs miss the prayers because of the matches. It is well known that delaying the prayer beyond its time with no excuse is a major sin, and it is narrated from a number of scholars that the one who does that deliberately is a kaafir, so we must be very careful.
This has to do with the game itself. But if there are tournaments on which money is spent and people are distracted by them, and waste time because of them, and they provoke factionalism and both Muslims and kaafirs, righteous and evildoers are glorified to the extent that a player becomes a role model for one’s sons and daughters, then this definitely should not be allowed, because among the ummah there are enough calamities, ignorance and backwardness to distract them from games on which millions of the people’s wealth are spent.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The basic principle concerning such games and sports is that they are permissible if they serve an innocent purpose, as was referred to by Ibn al-Qayyim in his book al-Faroosiyyah and as was mentioned by Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen Ibn Taymiyah and others. If that is done as training for jihad and attack and retreat, or for physical fitness, or to ward off chronic diseases and strengthen the spirit, then it comes under the heading of permissible things, if the one who does it has a sound intention. In all cases it is essential that there be no harm caused to bodies or minds, and that it does not lead to the grudges and hatred that usually occur between players, and that it does not distract them from things that are more important, and that it does not prevent them from remembrance of Allaah (dhikr) or prayer.
But whoever thinks about these sports as they are played nowadays will find that they are involve evil things which dictate that they should be disallowed, in addition to the fact that it is in the nature of the game to create factionalism and stir up resentment and hatred between the victors and the losers, this team and that team, as is quite apparent. They are also accompanied by physical danger for the players as the result of collisions and fisticuffs. Games hardly ever end without one of them breaking a bone or being injured or losing consciousness. This is why ambulances are always present.
The games also continue during the times of prayer, which results in people not praying or offering the prayer late.
The players also uncover their ‘awrah, which is forbidden. The man’s ‘awrah is the area from the navel to the knee. But you will find that their clothes end at mid-thigh, and some of them are shorter than that. It is well known that the thigh is part of the ‘awrah because of the hadeeth: “Cover your thigh for the thigh is part of the ‘awrah.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2797) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Ali: “Do not uncover your thigh and do not look at the thigh of anyone, living or dead.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (4015). And Allaah knows best.
End quote from Fataawa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem, vol. 8, question no. 1948.
And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Playing football nowadays is accompanied by reprehensible things which mean that playing it should be disallowed. These things may be summed up as follows:
1 – It is proven to us that play continues during the times of prayer, which results in the players and spectators missing prayers or prayers in congregation, or they delay performing prayers until the time for them is over. Undoubtedly any action that interferes with performance of prayers on time or leads to missing prayers in congregation with no valid shar’i excuse is haraam.
2 – The nature of this game leads to factionalism, stirring up fitnah and hatred. These results are the opposite of what Islam promotes of tolerance, friendship and brotherhood, and cleaning hearts and souls of hatred, resentment and grudges.
3 – The game involves physical danger for the players as a result of collisions and injuries. Usually the players do not end the game without some of them falling on the pitch unconscious or with broken arms or legs. Nothing is more indicative of that than the fact that there must always be an ambulance present throughout the game.
4 – The purpose behind allowing sports is to make people become physically active and to train them for fighting and to ward off chronic disease. But playing football nowadays has no such aim. As well as the things mentioned above, it is now also taking people’s money for false purposes, let alone the danger of physical injury and the generation of hatred in the hearts of players and spectators, and the stirring up of fitnah. It has even gone so far that some spectators attack some players, which could go as far as murder, as happened in a match a few months ago. This alone is sufficient reason to disallow it. And Allaah is the source of strength. End quote.
He also said:
If it is done in an organized manner [as in the clubs] it seems that it should be banned altogether, because people becomes deeply involved in it and that prevents people from remembering Allaah, and it more akin to gambling. They call it “sport” but it is just a game, and matters of jihad are not like this, and even if the players have some agility and nimbleness, they are not able to strive hard in any other field.
It also involves other things. Some of them offer prizes for it, and this is gambling. Islam does not allow prizes for anything except competitions which support the religion and strengthen one for that. If it strengthens Islam then it is permissible to engage in competitions. In the hadeeth it says: “There should be no (money) prizes for competitions except archery competitions and races with camels and horses.” And this applies by analogy with these three to anything that supports Islam. End quote. Question no. 1950.
He also said: As for one or two people playing with a ball in an unorganized fashion, there is nothing wrong with that, because it does not involve anything haraam. And Allaah knows best. End quote. Question no. 1949.
_________________________________Alhamdulillah though, I do not think hubby and H (inshaaallah) are doing all the haram things, but my reservations about the Midwest Games have more to do with the occasion itself. And just to make it clear, we are in no position to say something is haram or halal blatantly, for this is actually hanging a huge responsibility on our necks, astaghfirulah if I did or conveyed that in any way. I was just reading from Tafsir Ibn kathir to the kids after Maghrib from Surah Al A'raaf, from ayah 31-34.
 |
| 31: |
| Muhsin Khan: O Children of Adam! Take your adornment (by wearing your clean clothes), while praying and going round (the Tawaf of ) the Ka'bah, and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah) likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance). |
 |
| 32: |
| Muhsin Khan: Say (O Muhammad SAW): "Who has forbidden the adoration with clothes given by Allah, which He has produced for his slaves, and At-Taiyibat [all kinds of Halal (lawful) things] of food?" Say: "They are, in the life of this world, for those who believe, (and) exclusively for them (believers) on the Day of Resurrection (the disbelievers will not share them)." Thus We explain the Ayat (Islamic laws) in detail for people who have knowledge. |
 |
| 33: |
| Muhsin Khan: Say (O Muhammad SAW): "(But) the things that my Lord has indeed forbidden are AlFawahish (great evil sins, every kind of unlawful sexual intercourse, etc.) whether committed openly or secretly, sins (of all kinds), unrighteous oppression, joining partners (in worship) with Allah for which He has given no authority, and saying things about Allah of which you have no knowledge." |
I think, with regards to the soccer mentioned above, it refers to those who are fanatic about it. There is also one ruling where the scholar said to assess how much time we are devoting to it, compared to everything else. Allaahu Aalim.
To Go or Not To Go?
That is the question.
Hubby still wants to go to the Midwest Games. I don't want to, for many reasons, but my reasons are strengthened especially after reading the ruling about playing soccer and games in general.
The kids want to go, but I told them yesterday,
"These are my reasons:
1. The fatwa says competition is not allowed in anything except archery, swimming, camel and horse races, because they are for the purposes of jihad.
2. Will the trip be blessed then if we go, considering the nature of the Midwest Games.
3. Abi cannot even go to the masjid anymore with his crutches but he wants to go the 7 hour drive there
4. If the trip is not blessed, I don't want you kids involved
5. If we go, since Abi can't do anything, I have to do everything."
We agreed that if hubby still wants to go he can go by himself, without us. I prayed istikharah yesterday, and the kids know this.
Even though they badly want to go, when I explained my reasons, they agreed.
Hubby then mentioned his reason, and my suspicion was confirmed; he wants to go because he wants to participate, and the kids know this too. The only reason I agreed to go in the first place was because it would give us a chance to listen to the audio lectures in that long trip, and we would get somewhat of a 'vacation' on the side. However, it does not seem beneficial to me anymore, especially after reading that ruling, which actually leaves my heart at an unease since H has been in the soccer league for a few years now.
Alhamdulillah ala kulli haal indeed. If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have been pressed to seek it out in the first place. Thanks finie.
So, to go or not to go? If it is good for me, Allah will bless it and facilitate it, if not, Allah will remove it from me. Oh Allah please give us guidance. Oh Allah please give me patience and wisdom to handle this. Ameen.
Hubby still wants to go to the Midwest Games. I don't want to, for many reasons, but my reasons are strengthened especially after reading the ruling about playing soccer and games in general.
The kids want to go, but I told them yesterday,
"These are my reasons:
1. The fatwa says competition is not allowed in anything except archery, swimming, camel and horse races, because they are for the purposes of jihad.
2. Will the trip be blessed then if we go, considering the nature of the Midwest Games.
3. Abi cannot even go to the masjid anymore with his crutches but he wants to go the 7 hour drive there
4. If the trip is not blessed, I don't want you kids involved
5. If we go, since Abi can't do anything, I have to do everything."
We agreed that if hubby still wants to go he can go by himself, without us. I prayed istikharah yesterday, and the kids know this.
Even though they badly want to go, when I explained my reasons, they agreed.
Hubby then mentioned his reason, and my suspicion was confirmed; he wants to go because he wants to participate, and the kids know this too. The only reason I agreed to go in the first place was because it would give us a chance to listen to the audio lectures in that long trip, and we would get somewhat of a 'vacation' on the side. However, it does not seem beneficial to me anymore, especially after reading that ruling, which actually leaves my heart at an unease since H has been in the soccer league for a few years now.
Alhamdulillah ala kulli haal indeed. If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have been pressed to seek it out in the first place. Thanks finie.
So, to go or not to go? If it is good for me, Allah will bless it and facilitate it, if not, Allah will remove it from me. Oh Allah please give us guidance. Oh Allah please give me patience and wisdom to handle this. Ameen.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Will we get to keep the crutches?
Saturday, May 17, around 6 p.m., I was lounging in the living room, reading, when I noticed a burly man with shaggy blond hair parking his car right in front of our apartment. I peeked in through the lacy curtains, and heard him say,
"F," and my ears perked up. He was mentioning hubby's name.
Few seconds later, hubby appeared from the passenger seat, one leg bent, and limping.
I thought to myself, "Oh no! What happened?! It must be bad because hubby is not one to need help such as that with simple sprains. This must be bad!"
Well, I urged him to go to the ER, against his soccer buddies' advice.
"Just go on Monday. You'll be waiting for hours if you go today," they said.
My motherly instinct was appalled at the advice, and hubby, being a man, of course agreed with his buddies. I insisted on at least calling a doctor or the ER to ask if he needs to go or what to do and how to take care of his leg.
"Yes, sir, yes!" was the reply of the ER nurse, when he called and asked if he should go.
It turned out he has a stretched ligament. We were actually thinking it must be a torn ligament. We were expecting the worst, with surgery, so alhamdulillah, it was a stretched ligament, though they skipped the X-ray because a trauma just came in, so hubby's case became low priority.
Hubby came back with a knee brace, and silver metal crutches, which I didn't see until much later, because it was maghrib when he came home and we were busy getting ready to pray.
So, our tennis Sundays are no more. We stayed home the whole day yesterday.
The kids were pretty awed I suppose by all that happened. When hubby was at he ER, Sh called me to update me on hubby's condition, since T had driven hubby to the ER. It was then that I found outhe had a stretched ligament. I told the kids. Naturally, we went a-googling.
ACL, PCL, LCL, MCL, we got it down to a pat, at least H did, and when hubby came home with home care instructions that also included an explanation of the injuries, the terms referring to the four ligaments above were already familiar to H, as I heard him state with utmost confidence,
"Oh yeah, I saw that!"
Before hubby came home, we talked about hubby's future with soccer.
"Abi can't ride the bike? Then I can't go to the masjid with the bike anymore."
"Are you sad if Abi can't play soccer anymore?" I asked H.
"Yes, because then he can't practice with me anymore."
I also expressed my disdain at hubby's involvement in soccer, that after a certain point becomes a burden to me. H said to me,
"You say that because you never played soccer. It's fun."
He's right. Maybe I've never been able to put myself in hubby's shoes. They're too big.
H, as is typical of any boy his age, bombards hubby with his questions.
"Will we get to keep it after you're done with it?" referring to the crutches.
"Will we get to play with knee brace too?"
H probably thinks all this is 'cool'.
The only thing I feel sorry for the kids for is that we most probably have to forgo our planned trip to Southern Illinois University for the Malaysian Midwest games since hubby is in no shape to drive a 7-hour journey with his crutches, and I'm not going to drive, no thank you! We had already bought blank papers for them to use on the trip, and they had already created their own handmade 'notebooks' using those papers.
I told them last night,
"Maybe if we go, something bad will happen to us, and so that is why this happened. Allah is saving us from a worse thing."
To which hubby added,
"Your mom doesn't want me to play soccer next week. Allah loves her so much that..."
and I burst out laughing. I did tell him not to play soccer next week if he could help it because I had two articles to submit by this weekend, and I was also studying for an exam that alhamdulillah I took last weekend. Hubby had been sneaking out to play soccer day after day, which I personally think is going overboard, and let's just say, it felt like Iowa all over again to me.
Well, it seems like, now, he's not going anywhere, for a while, and in the meantime, I'm going to have to bear a lot more manual labor which hubby used to take care of. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Maybe I'll lose more weight this way.
"F," and my ears perked up. He was mentioning hubby's name.
Few seconds later, hubby appeared from the passenger seat, one leg bent, and limping.
I thought to myself, "Oh no! What happened?! It must be bad because hubby is not one to need help such as that with simple sprains. This must be bad!"
Well, I urged him to go to the ER, against his soccer buddies' advice.
"Just go on Monday. You'll be waiting for hours if you go today," they said.
My motherly instinct was appalled at the advice, and hubby, being a man, of course agreed with his buddies. I insisted on at least calling a doctor or the ER to ask if he needs to go or what to do and how to take care of his leg.
"Yes, sir, yes!" was the reply of the ER nurse, when he called and asked if he should go.
It turned out he has a stretched ligament. We were actually thinking it must be a torn ligament. We were expecting the worst, with surgery, so alhamdulillah, it was a stretched ligament, though they skipped the X-ray because a trauma just came in, so hubby's case became low priority.
Hubby came back with a knee brace, and silver metal crutches, which I didn't see until much later, because it was maghrib when he came home and we were busy getting ready to pray.
So, our tennis Sundays are no more. We stayed home the whole day yesterday.
The kids were pretty awed I suppose by all that happened. When hubby was at he ER, Sh called me to update me on hubby's condition, since T had driven hubby to the ER. It was then that I found outhe had a stretched ligament. I told the kids. Naturally, we went a-googling.
ACL, PCL, LCL, MCL, we got it down to a pat, at least H did, and when hubby came home with home care instructions that also included an explanation of the injuries, the terms referring to the four ligaments above were already familiar to H, as I heard him state with utmost confidence,
"Oh yeah, I saw that!"
Before hubby came home, we talked about hubby's future with soccer.
"Abi can't ride the bike? Then I can't go to the masjid with the bike anymore."
"Are you sad if Abi can't play soccer anymore?" I asked H.
"Yes, because then he can't practice with me anymore."
I also expressed my disdain at hubby's involvement in soccer, that after a certain point becomes a burden to me. H said to me,
"You say that because you never played soccer. It's fun."
He's right. Maybe I've never been able to put myself in hubby's shoes. They're too big.
H, as is typical of any boy his age, bombards hubby with his questions.
"Will we get to keep it after you're done with it?" referring to the crutches.
"Will we get to play with knee brace too?"
H probably thinks all this is 'cool'.
The only thing I feel sorry for the kids for is that we most probably have to forgo our planned trip to Southern Illinois University for the Malaysian Midwest games since hubby is in no shape to drive a 7-hour journey with his crutches, and I'm not going to drive, no thank you! We had already bought blank papers for them to use on the trip, and they had already created their own handmade 'notebooks' using those papers.
I told them last night,
"Maybe if we go, something bad will happen to us, and so that is why this happened. Allah is saving us from a worse thing."
To which hubby added,
"Your mom doesn't want me to play soccer next week. Allah loves her so much that..."
and I burst out laughing. I did tell him not to play soccer next week if he could help it because I had two articles to submit by this weekend, and I was also studying for an exam that alhamdulillah I took last weekend. Hubby had been sneaking out to play soccer day after day, which I personally think is going overboard, and let's just say, it felt like Iowa all over again to me.
Well, it seems like, now, he's not going anywhere, for a while, and in the meantime, I'm going to have to bear a lot more manual labor which hubby used to take care of. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Maybe I'll lose more weight this way.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Bubbles in the Air!
Here I am, busy putting clocks on my blog. Baby Z is napping, I'm supposed to be studying, the kids are all downstairs up to something.
I trust them enough not to wonder what they're doing and continually ask,
"What are you guys up to now?"
Since we went to the library yesterday, they got more books, and for the time being are occupied enough not to play games on the computer.
"If we have books to read, we won't be playing games," S reasoned.
These past few days they have been spending a lot of time on the computer, playing games, much to hubby's and my consternation. Alhamdulillah though, they only go to the permitted websites.
Yesterday, we babysat a neighbor's son, because their newborn is in NICU (May Allah heal the baby. Ameen). He brought his own CD Arthur game, and we let him play it on the computer downstairs while we prayed Maghrib and Isha upstairs. At one point he asked H to go to Cartoon Network website, and I only knew because H said to him,
"We're not allowed."
I was there, and curious about the exchange that just happened, which I didn't really hear, I asked H,
"What's not allowed?"
"Cartoon Network."
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. The child knows, and abides by it, mashaallah.
Today, just now, H came upstairs, and I excitedly showed him my new clocks on the blog. After peering at the screen for a few measly seconds, uttering a mild "Oh," he exclaimed,
"Ummi, we made bubbles. You wanna see it?"
"With what?" I asked.
"With Ajax."
They're playing with my dishwashing liquid. Hey!
"Yeah, sure," I replied.
He bounded downstairs and came back in a flash with a yellow plastic bowl filled with the buble solution, and a twist tie formed into a bubble blower ring. Dipping the bubble blower into the solution, he then proceeded to blow huge firm bubbles in the room.
"They're so firm too! They don't break, they even bounce on the floor!" he expressed with enthusiasm.
"Mashaallah!"
Apparently, N had started making bubbles, and they had tried it first with the handsoap, but it dodn't really work.
"Hmm..why do you think it didn't work that well?" I asked H.
"Hmm..maybe it was too creamy..Oh yeah! it's too creamy," he concluded.
"Hmm, hey maybe you can test other soaps, and write down your results and compare which soap makes the best bubbles!" I was overcome with excitement as well.
"Yeah, that' like Zoom," he said.
"And you have your hypotheses, your materials, experiments, and then you can write down your results! Get a notebook," I suggested.
Within a few minutes, we I'm typing, H is busy with blue, red plastic bowls, a measuring spoon to measure the amount of soap, and the soaps he's testing.
Ahh...another unschooling moment. Hubby, take note.
I trust them enough not to wonder what they're doing and continually ask,
"What are you guys up to now?"
Since we went to the library yesterday, they got more books, and for the time being are occupied enough not to play games on the computer.
"If we have books to read, we won't be playing games," S reasoned.
These past few days they have been spending a lot of time on the computer, playing games, much to hubby's and my consternation. Alhamdulillah though, they only go to the permitted websites.
Yesterday, we babysat a neighbor's son, because their newborn is in NICU (May Allah heal the baby. Ameen). He brought his own CD Arthur game, and we let him play it on the computer downstairs while we prayed Maghrib and Isha upstairs. At one point he asked H to go to Cartoon Network website, and I only knew because H said to him,
"We're not allowed."
I was there, and curious about the exchange that just happened, which I didn't really hear, I asked H,
"What's not allowed?"
"Cartoon Network."
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. The child knows, and abides by it, mashaallah.
Today, just now, H came upstairs, and I excitedly showed him my new clocks on the blog. After peering at the screen for a few measly seconds, uttering a mild "Oh," he exclaimed,
"Ummi, we made bubbles. You wanna see it?"
"With what?" I asked.
"With Ajax."
They're playing with my dishwashing liquid. Hey!
"Yeah, sure," I replied.
He bounded downstairs and came back in a flash with a yellow plastic bowl filled with the buble solution, and a twist tie formed into a bubble blower ring. Dipping the bubble blower into the solution, he then proceeded to blow huge firm bubbles in the room.
"They're so firm too! They don't break, they even bounce on the floor!" he expressed with enthusiasm.
"Mashaallah!"
Apparently, N had started making bubbles, and they had tried it first with the handsoap, but it dodn't really work.
"Hmm..why do you think it didn't work that well?" I asked H.
"Hmm..maybe it was too creamy..Oh yeah! it's too creamy," he concluded.
"Hmm, hey maybe you can test other soaps, and write down your results and compare which soap makes the best bubbles!" I was overcome with excitement as well.
"Yeah, that' like Zoom," he said.
"And you have your hypotheses, your materials, experiments, and then you can write down your results! Get a notebook," I suggested.
Within a few minutes, we I'm typing, H is busy with blue, red plastic bowls, a measuring spoon to measure the amount of soap, and the soaps he's testing.
Ahh...another unschooling moment. Hubby, take note.
Iman
"Why doesn't N read the Quran?"
S asked this morning, right after she was done reading the Quran with hubby. I was slumped against the bookshelf, still in my prayer garment, and N was prostrate with sleepiness on the floor.
I snapped.
"S, don't be like that. It's not a good trait to have. If you read the Quran you get reward from Allah. It's not a punishment. If N doesn't read it, she's the one who's losing. If you want her to read it because you want her to get the reward too, it's very good, but the way you keep asking is as if you read it, then everyone else has to read it too."
Believing in the ghaib. That's probably what's lacking. At this age, maybe they don't appreciate the fact that everytime they do a good deed, they get oodles of points, or maybe they should, and if they should, then it's me who is lacking in my responsibility of teaching them. (Now we know the solution, don't we? Sigh)
Baby Z has been on a biting rampage ever since he attained four pearly whites, and I have been the one suffering as a result. I don't remember being bitten so much with H, or the girls. On top of biting when he's done nursing, which is usually not done on purpose, he also buries his face in my lap and starts biting whatever flesh he can get between his top and bottom incisors. However, that doesn't bother me as much as him biting his source of milk.
My doctor's words kept playing in my head,
"I stopped nursing mine at 13 months because I was tired of being bitten. You don't have to feel like you have to breastfeed him longer you know."
Hubby was not too happy with that piece of unsolicited advice.
As I lay on my side, nursing him one day, I thought to myself,
"I have less than a year to go inshaallah. Oh Allah, please make him one of the righteous who will benefit the ummah."
Belief in the ghaib. That's what keeps us going.
S asked this morning, right after she was done reading the Quran with hubby. I was slumped against the bookshelf, still in my prayer garment, and N was prostrate with sleepiness on the floor.
I snapped.
"S, don't be like that. It's not a good trait to have. If you read the Quran you get reward from Allah. It's not a punishment. If N doesn't read it, she's the one who's losing. If you want her to read it because you want her to get the reward too, it's very good, but the way you keep asking is as if you read it, then everyone else has to read it too."
Believing in the ghaib. That's probably what's lacking. At this age, maybe they don't appreciate the fact that everytime they do a good deed, they get oodles of points, or maybe they should, and if they should, then it's me who is lacking in my responsibility of teaching them. (Now we know the solution, don't we? Sigh)
Baby Z has been on a biting rampage ever since he attained four pearly whites, and I have been the one suffering as a result. I don't remember being bitten so much with H, or the girls. On top of biting when he's done nursing, which is usually not done on purpose, he also buries his face in my lap and starts biting whatever flesh he can get between his top and bottom incisors. However, that doesn't bother me as much as him biting his source of milk.
My doctor's words kept playing in my head,
"I stopped nursing mine at 13 months because I was tired of being bitten. You don't have to feel like you have to breastfeed him longer you know."
Hubby was not too happy with that piece of unsolicited advice.
As I lay on my side, nursing him one day, I thought to myself,
"I have less than a year to go inshaallah. Oh Allah, please make him one of the righteous who will benefit the ummah."
Belief in the ghaib. That's what keeps us going.
The Struggle
"Why doesn't N read the Quran?"
I've been skimping on sleep lately, as I have to finish writing up two articles with a deadline, and am studying for the Chain of Command exam I am retaking, so I was horrendously groggy this morning after Fajr.
I had the kids take a Learning Style assessment from the book 'Discover Your Child's Learning Style', and for the question,
At what time of the day are you most tired , all the kids answered After Fajr.
This is no surprise to me, as I 've seen their grogginess, and I can attribute it to lack of sleep. Since the days are longer, and they all pray Fajr and Isha', they only have about 7 hours of sleep each night. We have them take napes nowadays because of that, but their naps only add about 2 hours to their total horus of sleep, which I believe is still not enough for children their age.
I asked N when she wants to read her Quran and do her surah memorization.
"After Fajr," she replied, with regards to the Quran.
"Are you sure?" I asked, recalling that she had answered 'After fajr' as her most unenergetic time of the day.
She nodded.
So for her, how is my complete responsibility now with regards to Quran, we settled on post Fajr and post Zuhr for her quran and memorization respectively. Hubby handles the other two, alhamdulillah.
Yesterday, she was so groggy, and wasn't cooperating much when reading her quran. Since I myself have been lacking sleep too, my patience wasn't exactly fully recharged, and I snapped. Thinking it wise to change the time and forgo all the snapping and misery in the early mornings, I told her,
"We have to change the time. You're not strong enough to fight the grogginess. If we keep this up, I'm just going to be angry and you're going to be miserable."
So, we are now moving it to after Asr. If we for some reason (which are many, such as... anything to do with Baby Z) can't do it after Asr, we will do it after Maghrib.
It has really been quite a struggle for both N and me. I need more practice in patience. I had 11 years, and I'm not quite sure if my patience level have increased in all those years. Patience with hubby, maybe. Patience with kids, I'm not so sure.
I've been skimping on sleep lately, as I have to finish writing up two articles with a deadline, and am studying for the Chain of Command exam I am retaking, so I was horrendously groggy this morning after Fajr.
I had the kids take a Learning Style assessment from the book 'Discover Your Child's Learning Style', and for the question,
At what time of the day are you most tired , all the kids answered After Fajr.
This is no surprise to me, as I 've seen their grogginess, and I can attribute it to lack of sleep. Since the days are longer, and they all pray Fajr and Isha', they only have about 7 hours of sleep each night. We have them take napes nowadays because of that, but their naps only add about 2 hours to their total horus of sleep, which I believe is still not enough for children their age.
I asked N when she wants to read her Quran and do her surah memorization.
"After Fajr," she replied, with regards to the Quran.
"Are you sure?" I asked, recalling that she had answered 'After fajr' as her most unenergetic time of the day.
She nodded.
So for her, how is my complete responsibility now with regards to Quran, we settled on post Fajr and post Zuhr for her quran and memorization respectively. Hubby handles the other two, alhamdulillah.
Yesterday, she was so groggy, and wasn't cooperating much when reading her quran. Since I myself have been lacking sleep too, my patience wasn't exactly fully recharged, and I snapped. Thinking it wise to change the time and forgo all the snapping and misery in the early mornings, I told her,
"We have to change the time. You're not strong enough to fight the grogginess. If we keep this up, I'm just going to be angry and you're going to be miserable."
So, we are now moving it to after Asr. If we for some reason (which are many, such as... anything to do with Baby Z) can't do it after Asr, we will do it after Maghrib.
It has really been quite a struggle for both N and me. I need more practice in patience. I had 11 years, and I'm not quite sure if my patience level have increased in all those years. Patience with hubby, maybe. Patience with kids, I'm not so sure.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday Night LIVE!
Baby Z has been depriving hubby and me of sleep these past few days. Since he still sleeps with us, his night wakings are not unusual, and thinking of logistics and the possibility of moving, I'm not that eager to change this habit of his. The other three pretty much stopped waking up at night after one year, and I separated them from us when they were past one year old. With Baby Z, however, we don't even have enough space in the house to even attempt to separate him.
Last night, as I nursed him lying down, I felt wetness on his back, and to my groggy dismay, I found that his diaper was full and beyond. I woke hubby up, and he changed Baby Z's diaper, which was almost like a mini bath, since he soiled himself pretty much. Baby Z was already sleeping before hubby carried him to the bathroom, but after the wash, Baby Z was as fresh as the morning dews.
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 2 a.m. I nursed him, after which he sat up and began to babble, flapping his arm up and down in excitement. Suffice it to say, it was a long night for hubby and me.
Baby Z crawled to and fro from one end of the bed to the other, giving us heart attacks lest he fell. I couldn't help but fall asleep, to be awoken by his super hyper screams of playfulness and being stepped on. He was 'knocking' on the wall behind us when I looked up and realized that the night light had cast a shadow, and he was playing with that shadow.
Truth be told, the thought of jinn possession crossed my mind. Baby Z is a pretty quiet and mild mannered baby. To hear him so animated and loud at such an hour was perplexing. After about an hour or so of romping and frolicking on the bed, hubby and me being part of his night playground paraphernalia, Baby Z threw himself on the pillow I had on my chest (for protection, because he was using my chest as a base to do push ups) and cried a little. Suddenly, all was still. I lifted my head to look at him, strewn across my tummy, facing my feet. He was falling asleep. I coaxed him to come and lie down next to me. Resuming his cries, he did finally make his way to my head and threw himself on the pillow next to me. He must have really exhausted all energy, romping about the bed, because from there on, he fell asleep all the way till morning.
As for hubby and me, we resumed sleeping after Fajr this morning. Thanks a lot Baby Z!
Last night, as I nursed him lying down, I felt wetness on his back, and to my groggy dismay, I found that his diaper was full and beyond. I woke hubby up, and he changed Baby Z's diaper, which was almost like a mini bath, since he soiled himself pretty much. Baby Z was already sleeping before hubby carried him to the bathroom, but after the wash, Baby Z was as fresh as the morning dews.
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 2 a.m. I nursed him, after which he sat up and began to babble, flapping his arm up and down in excitement. Suffice it to say, it was a long night for hubby and me.
Baby Z crawled to and fro from one end of the bed to the other, giving us heart attacks lest he fell. I couldn't help but fall asleep, to be awoken by his super hyper screams of playfulness and being stepped on. He was 'knocking' on the wall behind us when I looked up and realized that the night light had cast a shadow, and he was playing with that shadow.
Truth be told, the thought of jinn possession crossed my mind. Baby Z is a pretty quiet and mild mannered baby. To hear him so animated and loud at such an hour was perplexing. After about an hour or so of romping and frolicking on the bed, hubby and me being part of his night playground paraphernalia, Baby Z threw himself on the pillow I had on my chest (for protection, because he was using my chest as a base to do push ups) and cried a little. Suddenly, all was still. I lifted my head to look at him, strewn across my tummy, facing my feet. He was falling asleep. I coaxed him to come and lie down next to me. Resuming his cries, he did finally make his way to my head and threw himself on the pillow next to me. He must have really exhausted all energy, romping about the bed, because from there on, he fell asleep all the way till morning.
As for hubby and me, we resumed sleeping after Fajr this morning. Thanks a lot Baby Z!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Life Skills Overlooked
One of the books in my stack of library books is Help for the Harried Homeschooler. Although catered for Christians, apparent from the quoted verses of the Bible, I find the values to be similar.
I was particularly struck by one section talking about how to handle homeschooling in the midst of moving. The author appeases anticipated worries of homeschoolers over their children missing out on academical learning during the process of moving by highlighting the advantage of learning life skills.
I have to say, even though I have changed my mindset with regards to approaching learning, I am still a schooler at heart. It has been too ingrained in most of us, that it's kind of difficult to view non academic learning as learning. So I would be one of the homeschoolers addressed in that section.
It made me ponder, though. Life skills; labelling packed boxes, observing the process of changing addresses, organizing boxes, and everything else associated with moving, definitely are important skills too. This has truly been an enlightening journey for me, to discover and rediscover, and step outside the box, and see schooling and learning from a different perspective.
Mothers sometimes spare their daughters from any work in the kitchen or house because their daughters have to spend the time studying so they will get good grades, and achieve what the mothers never got to achieve when they were growing up. I won't get into this issue, but just wanted to put it out there, again.
Why do we often overlook life skills? Life skills are important, and I always found myself stressing over the kids not learning anything academic, thereby overlooking all the learning they are going through in our daily lives. Is academic the only thing that matters now? You still have to know how to manage a house, the car, yourself, your surroundings.
Homeschooling provides more than an education. It provides the tools to live life, inshaallah. When the children are not learning anything that seems academic, they are not 'not doing anything beneficial'. Their play are medium for learning, and it is this freedom to live life naturally that homeschooling provides. Domestic skills are very low nowadays, and from my observation, most women now are often at a loss at home, and this is when they exclaim at their stay-at-home mothers counterparts,
"I don't know how you can stay home! I'd go crazy!"
We have been trained and raised to value academics over life skills, such that most women nowadays are lacking the skills needed to fulfill their natural roles in the society. May we not make the same mistake, for our girls and our boys, inshaallah.
I was particularly struck by one section talking about how to handle homeschooling in the midst of moving. The author appeases anticipated worries of homeschoolers over their children missing out on academical learning during the process of moving by highlighting the advantage of learning life skills.
I have to say, even though I have changed my mindset with regards to approaching learning, I am still a schooler at heart. It has been too ingrained in most of us, that it's kind of difficult to view non academic learning as learning. So I would be one of the homeschoolers addressed in that section.
It made me ponder, though. Life skills; labelling packed boxes, observing the process of changing addresses, organizing boxes, and everything else associated with moving, definitely are important skills too. This has truly been an enlightening journey for me, to discover and rediscover, and step outside the box, and see schooling and learning from a different perspective.
Mothers sometimes spare their daughters from any work in the kitchen or house because their daughters have to spend the time studying so they will get good grades, and achieve what the mothers never got to achieve when they were growing up. I won't get into this issue, but just wanted to put it out there, again.
Why do we often overlook life skills? Life skills are important, and I always found myself stressing over the kids not learning anything academic, thereby overlooking all the learning they are going through in our daily lives. Is academic the only thing that matters now? You still have to know how to manage a house, the car, yourself, your surroundings.
Homeschooling provides more than an education. It provides the tools to live life, inshaallah. When the children are not learning anything that seems academic, they are not 'not doing anything beneficial'. Their play are medium for learning, and it is this freedom to live life naturally that homeschooling provides. Domestic skills are very low nowadays, and from my observation, most women now are often at a loss at home, and this is when they exclaim at their stay-at-home mothers counterparts,
"I don't know how you can stay home! I'd go crazy!"
We have been trained and raised to value academics over life skills, such that most women nowadays are lacking the skills needed to fulfill their natural roles in the society. May we not make the same mistake, for our girls and our boys, inshaallah.
We'll Die Muslims
May 11, 2008, yesterday, Mother's Day. It was a rainy Sunday, and I was quite disappointed not being able to have our usual Tennis Sunday. Hubby went back to sleep, and I bustled in the kitchen.
As hubby was doing the dishes after lunch, the tornado siren went off. I turned to look at the kids, and S's expression was that of bewilderment.
"But it's not Wednesday..." she said, referring to the weekly drill usually on Wednesday noons.
"Turn on the TV! Turn on the TV!"
We turned it on. Thinking back, it's pretty funny how we seem to have gotten out of touch with the television. I found myself fumbling with the remote, not remembering which button was for what.
We saw an area of dark red surrounded by yellow and then green. It was to the north of us though.
The kids huddled around the TV, and H exclaimed,
"Let's take cover!"
"No, we have to pray Zuhr first," I said, seeing that the storm was moving northeast, and we were safely to the southeast of it, alhamdulillah, though of course, a funnel cloud can easily form elsewhere with no warning.
"Make du'a," I said, as they chattered rather excitedly about the prospect of a tornado coming our way.
"We should take our wallets...you know, in case everything else is destroyed," H offered a slice of wisdom. As he said that, he looked around the living room.
"Where should we go?"
"In the office, under the stairs, since we don't have a basement," I said.
"You can go and nap under the stairs," suggested hubby, as after Zuhr is their naptime. We have taken to having them take naps because they wake up for Fajr and stay up till Isha, which are respectively becoming earlier and later as we approach summer.
N readily took her pillow, with an assortment of her cuddly toy cats, and headed for the storage room under the stairs we call the 'office', or what used to be my office.
Alhamdulillah though, even though they kept the siren on for a good while, the storm had moved northeast and away from us, and we napped the afternoon away, biiznillah. I remember saying the du'a for rain earlier in the morning as I nursed baby Z for his morning nap. Subhanallah, the kids had forgotten the du'a for when there is thunderstorm. That should be something we should work on next inshaallah.
Later on in the day, H said to me,
"S had a good dream about tornado. Maybe that means we're gonna die Muslims!"
I couldn't help smiling yet rendered speechless by this analysis of H's. He seemed to at ease with the issue of death, and his pleasure to die as a Muslim was rather refreshing. I'm not sure if he truly understood, but, well, maybe he does, in his own way. Maybe he does, mashaallah.
At night, S said, as she lay in bed, while I tidied up the computer table,
"Today was Mother's Day. Maybe the tornado was because Allah was angry at them."
"For what?" I asked, rummaging in the semi darkness for scattered pens and markers strewn across the table.
"For celebrating Mother's Day," she continued.
Again, I was speechless.
"Erm...I don't know about that," I replied.
This morning, I read this on the news. Allahu Akbar, Alhamdulillah for protecting us from such destruction. I remember the days in Iowa when we would be visited by potential funnel clouds, especially in the summer. I have witnessed hail, which completely left my small flower garden in a beautiful yet destructed state, and alhamdulillah not more.
As hubby was doing the dishes after lunch, the tornado siren went off. I turned to look at the kids, and S's expression was that of bewilderment.
"But it's not Wednesday..." she said, referring to the weekly drill usually on Wednesday noons.
"Turn on the TV! Turn on the TV!"
We turned it on. Thinking back, it's pretty funny how we seem to have gotten out of touch with the television. I found myself fumbling with the remote, not remembering which button was for what.
We saw an area of dark red surrounded by yellow and then green. It was to the north of us though.
The kids huddled around the TV, and H exclaimed,
"Let's take cover!"
"No, we have to pray Zuhr first," I said, seeing that the storm was moving northeast, and we were safely to the southeast of it, alhamdulillah, though of course, a funnel cloud can easily form elsewhere with no warning.
"Make du'a," I said, as they chattered rather excitedly about the prospect of a tornado coming our way.
"We should take our wallets...you know, in case everything else is destroyed," H offered a slice of wisdom. As he said that, he looked around the living room.
"Where should we go?"
"In the office, under the stairs, since we don't have a basement," I said.
"You can go and nap under the stairs," suggested hubby, as after Zuhr is their naptime. We have taken to having them take naps because they wake up for Fajr and stay up till Isha, which are respectively becoming earlier and later as we approach summer.
N readily took her pillow, with an assortment of her cuddly toy cats, and headed for the storage room under the stairs we call the 'office', or what used to be my office.
Alhamdulillah though, even though they kept the siren on for a good while, the storm had moved northeast and away from us, and we napped the afternoon away, biiznillah. I remember saying the du'a for rain earlier in the morning as I nursed baby Z for his morning nap. Subhanallah, the kids had forgotten the du'a for when there is thunderstorm. That should be something we should work on next inshaallah.
Later on in the day, H said to me,
"S had a good dream about tornado. Maybe that means we're gonna die Muslims!"
I couldn't help smiling yet rendered speechless by this analysis of H's. He seemed to at ease with the issue of death, and his pleasure to die as a Muslim was rather refreshing. I'm not sure if he truly understood, but, well, maybe he does, in his own way. Maybe he does, mashaallah.
At night, S said, as she lay in bed, while I tidied up the computer table,
"Today was Mother's Day. Maybe the tornado was because Allah was angry at them."
"For what?" I asked, rummaging in the semi darkness for scattered pens and markers strewn across the table.
"For celebrating Mother's Day," she continued.
Again, I was speechless.
"Erm...I don't know about that," I replied.
This morning, I read this on the news. Allahu Akbar, Alhamdulillah for protecting us from such destruction. I remember the days in Iowa when we would be visited by potential funnel clouds, especially in the summer. I have witnessed hail, which completely left my small flower garden in a beautiful yet destructed state, and alhamdulillah not more.
Bookmark Frenzy!
Thanks to Farhana, we have our next 'community project': bookmark-making, to sell in the Book, Bake & BBQ Fair, with proceeds going to the Islam in Colombia project.
We had bought the card stock months ago, in utter enthusiasm of plunging into the art of bookmark-making! Finally, now that we're done with OHVA, and freer to pursue other learning and activities, we dabbled in the art of making bookmarks.
H's Masjid bookmark, with a message inside
S and N's rocket bookmark
My Lampshade and Balloon, a perfect leftover from making the Tennis Racquet
My lemonade and ice cream bookmarks
S's umbrella, tree, and my baby bottle
"Huh? What's that? That's a bookmark?"
"Yeah, what do you think it is?" I asked, wondering if it even looked like something identifiable.
Well, it only took my that purse to open the gates of other possible ideas, and as the kids came inside one by one, enticed by my bookmarks, I told them to brainstorm for more ideas. The ideas came out gushing, like an opened dam. My next bookmark was a lampshade, and because my hands haven;t been doodling for years, I had to employ N's hand. She drew a lampshade for me, and the difference between hers and mine was so significant, that S said,
"N's lamp is better than yours."
Indeed it is, mashaallah!
Our bookmark-making frenzy lasted for a few fun days, but by the time we were out of energy and patience, we had quite a lot. The ideas were still gushing, but my eye for detail, or rather my tolerance for detailed work was exhausted by the tennis racket. The kids on the other hand, getting a late start, lingered on making woven designs, which are actually rather pretty.
S and N's woven bookmarks
S's intricate woven design
When I came into their room, they were all huddled at the table, head down, fingers busy working with the dwindling card stock we had bought at Jo Ann.
Suffice it to say, it has been a fun endeavor for all of us. Those card stock were really worth buying. Today, I decided that we should start to prepare them for mailing. While the kids were designing and making their bookmarks, I heard comments such as,
"Will people buy this?"
"I don't think anyone will want to buy this!"
My Sports Bookmark Frenzy (that tennis racquet really required a lot of patience)
I had wanted to make a baju kurung bookmark, after making the blue abaya bookmark, but, like I said, my tolerance for detailed work is spent, and I'm ready to mail in the big envelope of bookmarks now.
Next Project inshaallah : Muslimah Doll Project
We had bought the card stock months ago, in utter enthusiasm of plunging into the art of bookmark-making! Finally, now that we're done with OHVA, and freer to pursue other learning and activities, we dabbled in the art of making bookmarks.
H's Masjid bookmark, with a message inside
S and N's rocket bookmark
My lemonade and ice cream bookmarks
S's umbrella, tree, and my baby bottle
My blue abaya and H's READ bookmark
I had a certain picture in my head regarding the kinds of bookmarks we were going to make, but I thought I would dabble with it first, before having the kids make it. So, one afternoon, after Asr, as they all dashed outside, taking Baby Z with them, I took the card stock we had bought, a pencil, an eraser, an arts and crafts knife, and a pair of scissors, and settled on the floor of the kids' room. I had googled my way on the internet, looking for ideas to make novel bookmarks, but found none that are to my liking or satisfaction, so I decided to just let the creativity take me away.
With a silver, black, or grey hijab, this would make a really elegant attire
I was feeling rather whimsical, so the first thing I made was the silver purse. It has been awhile since I had drawn anything, so I was pretty happy with my first bookmark. As I sat there trying to come up with more whimsical ideas for bookmarks, someone barged in through the front door. Of course that was someone bringing Baby Z. My 'freedom' was coming to a close."Huh? What's that? That's a bookmark?"
"Yeah, what do you think it is?" I asked, wondering if it even looked like something identifiable.
Well, it only took my that purse to open the gates of other possible ideas, and as the kids came inside one by one, enticed by my bookmarks, I told them to brainstorm for more ideas. The ideas came out gushing, like an opened dam. My next bookmark was a lampshade, and because my hands haven;t been doodling for years, I had to employ N's hand. She drew a lampshade for me, and the difference between hers and mine was so significant, that S said,
"N's lamp is better than yours."
Indeed it is, mashaallah!
Our bookmark-making frenzy lasted for a few fun days, but by the time we were out of energy and patience, we had quite a lot. The ideas were still gushing, but my eye for detail, or rather my tolerance for detailed work was exhausted by the tennis racket. The kids on the other hand, getting a late start, lingered on making woven designs, which are actually rather pretty.
S and N's woven bookmarks
S's intricate woven design
Suffice it to say, it has been a fun endeavor for all of us. Those card stock were really worth buying. Today, I decided that we should start to prepare them for mailing. While the kids were designing and making their bookmarks, I heard comments such as,
"Will people buy this?"
"I don't think anyone will want to buy this!"
"That doesn't look like a bookmark!" they exclaimed, pointing to my cup of mocha bookmark, which I had so much fun making.
Cuppa mocha bookmark
My Sports Bookmark Frenzy (that tennis racquet really required a lot of patience)
I had wanted to make a baju kurung bookmark, after making the blue abaya bookmark, but, like I said, my tolerance for detailed work is spent, and I'm ready to mail in the big envelope of bookmarks now.
Next Project inshaallah : Muslimah Doll Project
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Miscellaneous
Alhamdulillah life post OHVA is lighter and freer. Almost every morning now, if the sun is out and shining, I send the kids outside, and tell them to take Baby Z along. No, I don't get to really sit down and have coffee and read the morning newspaper, but I can now tidy up the house, take a shower and sit down at the computer in an empty household. However, I have started telling them to make sure the house is tidy before they dash outside to frolic in the morning sun. It's very frustrating to be doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast and walk into a messy living room or rooms, and no one to hail to do my bidding. As I struggle to complete writing my article assignments, I also struggle finding time to sit down long enough without being interrupted by a baby needing to nurse, a baby dropped in the living room as his sibs return back outside to continue their outdoor play, and a set of rowdy children banging the door behind them as they barrel in the front door.
Not so much freedom for me, but alhamdulillah baby Z's eczema seems to have abated significantly ever since his nap schedule became regular.
Since I wasn't that busy logging in hours, attendance, checking lesson progress, and dealing with a myriad of issues pertaining to the OLS of OHVA, I've been able to actually nurse Baby Z in peace, albeit it being an hour straight at a time. We're all much much happier now, and I've even started to take interest in baking again.
I coaxed them to bake something for themselves, and one day they made meringue cookies. Yesterday they made cookies to make ice cream sandwiches with. As for me, I baked myself my Namaste Carrot Cake again, but this time using Ener-G egg replacer, hoping for a normal cake. Alas, I seem to have taken the cake out too soon, and all I got was a gummy, spice-laden carrot cale. At least, I think that's the problem. Nevertheless, I'm only more determined to experiment until I get it right. So I'm inshaallah going to play around with cake recipes or if I'm lucky, after doing more reading on the chemistry revolving different kinds of flours, I might come up with my own recipe.
H had his last soccer game of the season this morning. He scored a goal, and the weather was really pleasant too, allahu akbar. I had boiled some corn for them this morning and we brought the whole pot with us. As usual, hubby stood on the sidelines and churned out shouts after shouts of encouragement, commands, comments, and amused disappointment throughout the whole game. S was busy chomping on a corn, and calmly, she asked her father,
"Wanna a corn?"
"No, not now. I'm shouting," he replied, not taking his eyes off the players on the field.
"That's why he needs the corn," S said to me, and I burst into laughter.
We finally bought gates to put at the kids' doorway, the kitchen hallway, and the front door hallway today. The house hasn't been child-proofed for Baby Z, as I anticipated moving out, but it's not happening anytime soon it seems. Handy S and H set up the gates, much to their parents' pleasure, especially hubby's. He wasn't that enthusiastic about putting them up, but alhamdulillah we have some handykids around. Proud of their handiness they are too!
As for me, I am still buried under the task of reading my high stack of books, and have yet to finish my writing assignments, which has been driving me crazy to say the least. I just realized that I have only spent Ramadan in Malaysia in my 'childhood', since I came here at the age of 20 and have spent Ramadan here ever since. I have never experienced Ramadan as a wife and mother in my home country. How sad is that? Nevertheless, it sure has some perks too, alhamdulillah.
And alhamdulillah, my lengthy nursing times in the room have been spent listening to Anwar Awlaki's Umar Ibn A-Khattab, and suffice it to say, it has infused me in this ethereal world of the sahaba. Even Baby Z looks forward to the lecture whenever it's time to nurse for his naps and bedtimes. Life with Baby Z is much much more enjoyable now, especially because I'm finally able to relax into a schedule that is more like the one I'm used to when S, N, and H were younger.
Without the pressure and hassle of OHVA, life seems much more relaxing. Plus, the weather is still spring-like, though the flowers on the trees have mostly dispersed, leaving the trees green, making it look more like summer.
Inshaallah it seems like I'm taking the next Almaghrib class: Seerah, the Shepherd's Path in mid June, even though I said I probably won't. Circumstances inshaallah have changed such that it would be quite possible for us to do it with less hassle than before, bi iznillah. I look forward to this class.
So now, before I feel like I have wasted my time yet again on the computer, while two writing assignments are yet to be finished, I'd better sign off, and wait till much later before I finish up those 4 drafts sitting in my blogger account. Plus, I have a one year old who is starting to wail because he is probably bored because all his sibs have left him with his mother who is on the computer typing away, and hubby, as he does every Saturday evening, has gone off to play soccer. A mother never gets to completely rest, does she? In Jannah inshaallah, in jannah.
Not so much freedom for me, but alhamdulillah baby Z's eczema seems to have abated significantly ever since his nap schedule became regular.
Since I wasn't that busy logging in hours, attendance, checking lesson progress, and dealing with a myriad of issues pertaining to the OLS of OHVA, I've been able to actually nurse Baby Z in peace, albeit it being an hour straight at a time. We're all much much happier now, and I've even started to take interest in baking again.
I coaxed them to bake something for themselves, and one day they made meringue cookies. Yesterday they made cookies to make ice cream sandwiches with. As for me, I baked myself my Namaste Carrot Cake again, but this time using Ener-G egg replacer, hoping for a normal cake. Alas, I seem to have taken the cake out too soon, and all I got was a gummy, spice-laden carrot cale. At least, I think that's the problem. Nevertheless, I'm only more determined to experiment until I get it right. So I'm inshaallah going to play around with cake recipes or if I'm lucky, after doing more reading on the chemistry revolving different kinds of flours, I might come up with my own recipe.H had his last soccer game of the season this morning. He scored a goal, and the weather was really pleasant too, allahu akbar. I had boiled some corn for them this morning and we brought the whole pot with us. As usual, hubby stood on the sidelines and churned out shouts after shouts of encouragement, commands, comments, and amused disappointment throughout the whole game. S was busy chomping on a corn, and calmly, she asked her father,
"Wanna a corn?"
"No, not now. I'm shouting," he replied, not taking his eyes off the players on the field.
"That's why he needs the corn," S said to me, and I burst into laughter.
We finally bought gates to put at the kids' doorway, the kitchen hallway, and the front door hallway today. The house hasn't been child-proofed for Baby Z, as I anticipated moving out, but it's not happening anytime soon it seems. Handy S and H set up the gates, much to their parents' pleasure, especially hubby's. He wasn't that enthusiastic about putting them up, but alhamdulillah we have some handykids around. Proud of their handiness they are too!
As for me, I am still buried under the task of reading my high stack of books, and have yet to finish my writing assignments, which has been driving me crazy to say the least. I just realized that I have only spent Ramadan in Malaysia in my 'childhood', since I came here at the age of 20 and have spent Ramadan here ever since. I have never experienced Ramadan as a wife and mother in my home country. How sad is that? Nevertheless, it sure has some perks too, alhamdulillah.
And alhamdulillah, my lengthy nursing times in the room have been spent listening to Anwar Awlaki's Umar Ibn A-Khattab, and suffice it to say, it has infused me in this ethereal world of the sahaba. Even Baby Z looks forward to the lecture whenever it's time to nurse for his naps and bedtimes. Life with Baby Z is much much more enjoyable now, especially because I'm finally able to relax into a schedule that is more like the one I'm used to when S, N, and H were younger.
Without the pressure and hassle of OHVA, life seems much more relaxing. Plus, the weather is still spring-like, though the flowers on the trees have mostly dispersed, leaving the trees green, making it look more like summer.
Inshaallah it seems like I'm taking the next Almaghrib class: Seerah, the Shepherd's Path in mid June, even though I said I probably won't. Circumstances inshaallah have changed such that it would be quite possible for us to do it with less hassle than before, bi iznillah. I look forward to this class.
So now, before I feel like I have wasted my time yet again on the computer, while two writing assignments are yet to be finished, I'd better sign off, and wait till much later before I finish up those 4 drafts sitting in my blogger account. Plus, I have a one year old who is starting to wail because he is probably bored because all his sibs have left him with his mother who is on the computer typing away, and hubby, as he does every Saturday evening, has gone off to play soccer. A mother never gets to completely rest, does she? In Jannah inshaallah, in jannah.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
You Nailed It!
We resumed our Home Depot Free Kids Workshop this past Saturday. Somehow, amidst the pregnancy last year, as it approached the end, as I grew bigger and waddled more, as we prepared for the delivery and my mother's arrival, our monthly attendance to the free workshops offered by Home Depot and Lowe's subsided to a NIL and it remained NIL from then on.
Recently, as I held a 'meeting' with the kids to discuss how we're going to go about with homeschooling from now on, the matter came up.
"I want to do the Home Depot thing again," S said.
I had forgotten about it, and so, yesterday, we went. Yesterday and today, the girls painted their flower pencil holder on the back porch. H, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered to paint his, so he used the stickers provided at the workshop. When I came in their room today though, I did see his pencil holder painted green.
This coming Saturday, inshaallah, we'll head to Lowe's right after H's last soccer game of the season!
Recently, as I held a 'meeting' with the kids to discuss how we're going to go about with homeschooling from now on, the matter came up.
"I want to do the Home Depot thing again," S said.
I had forgotten about it, and so, yesterday, we went. Yesterday and today, the girls painted their flower pencil holder on the back porch. H, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered to paint his, so he used the stickers provided at the workshop. When I came in their room today though, I did see his pencil holder painted green.
This coming Saturday, inshaallah, we'll head to Lowe's right after H's last soccer game of the season!
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