The Nitty Gritty of Homeschooling

When I first started out, S was of preschool age, N was 3/4 and H was a babbling toddler. My research revolved around how to keep a toddler busy while you homeschool your older kids. Some ideas include:

Having a crate or a box filled with educational toys or coloring pages for them to occupy themselves with while feeling as if they are being homeschooled too. I was also technically 'homeschooling' N and H at the time because I consider any kind of teaching homeschooling.

When S was 3 I did the Glenn Doman reading method with her along with Iqra. At that time, N was 2 and H was under a year old. We still have the rectangular white board I put up in the living room. When S had problems reading an arabic letter, I would write that letter on the board and leave it for days while repointing it to her and pronouncing it until she got it. That was how i solved that problem with her learning to read Quran. At first I was stumped because I didn't know what to do, but after reading Glenn Doman's concept behind his teaching method, I applied the same to Arabic.

By 3 1/3 S was reading by herself. One down, two to go. We were best friends with the book mobile which came every Friday. Every Friday I would push the double stroller and a walking S with this huge black and white striped ugly bag we used to lug our library books. Suffice it to say, the bag was always bulging with books. I used to borrow Eyewitness animal video cassettes for the kids to watch rather than the cartoons or movies. They grew up with books; them with the kiddie books, me with the cookbooks, gardening, crafting and what nots.

I started the Glenn Doman with N, but in summer 2001 we had to move to Georgia. The move proved to be very stressful for me. I missed the people in Iowa a lot. I sent S to preschool and spent the day doing the Glenn Doman method with N and H while she was in school, but after I took her out, my whole schedule changed again. The Iqra was a continuous consistent thing we did alhamdulillah, though I had started to be lax in the surah memorization with them, so they forgot most of what they had already acquired in their toddlerhood.

Every night I set to work preparing teaching materials for the next day and my creative side enjoyed itself, for a while. I always ended up sleeping quite late due to this. Nevertheless I stuck to it, also despite some opposition to what I was doing from a Muslim neighbor, who later on said she has come to understand why I homeschool the children and that she agreed. I'm not a naturally assertive person and I tend to keep my thoughts to myself but I think I've evolved in that regard. She wasn't the only one against it. There were others who voiced out their opinion on it too. It wasn't a difficult decision for me to make because I had seen what public school had done to S (or at least the potential), so their misgivings didn't move me to put her back in school.

Since we then had to move again to the midwest, my Glenn Doman method with N was yet again interrupted. This move was also stressful, not because I miss the people in Georgia so much, but because I probably had high hopes for the community here. Again, I found a sister who led me to OHVA for homeschooling.

I had already applied for the traditional homeschooling and filled out the forms, received the approval from the state, but I decided to enroll her in OHVA because of the amount of research I had to do to prepare to teach her plus we were not able to support it financially. I also wasn't educated here so it would take heaps more research for me to do and I couldn't afford to do that, not with two other growing children who need teaching and attention.

H and N finally learned to read by themselves as they gave up on me teaching them with the Glenn DOman method. I think they were spurred by S's constant reading that they wanted to be able to read too. A mixture of Between the Lions and Phonics helped them to finally master the art of reading, which honestly left me feeling surprised, pleased, hurt, dismayed, relieved, and amused. Allah truly makes it easier for you.

My daily schedule totally changed. No longer was I able to bake as much as I wanted to. Even my cooking activities had decreased, especially as each child started school. I was used to making weekly menu plans even before S started school, so organizing my day wasn't much of a barrier for me to overcome tcompared to the challenge of being patient when teaching them.

Last year was my 'worst' year so far because all three were in school and S had to sit for two tests in a year and I had the full responsibility of preparing her for that. The biggest challenge in homeschooling is : no one else will pick up where you left off if you don't take the full responsibility of making sure your child learns. This translates to me not being able to do anything else (anything major like pursuing graduate studies or being highly active in the community). I battled with this for a while, but wisdom (I hope) finally won over. I did pursue writing, and I still am, but at a more leisurely pace than I had intended. I cannot stretch myself thin (though literally I would LOVE to).

This year things are supposed to be worse than last year because S is in 4th grade and things are supposed to get more complicated but somehow, with this pregnancy, things seems easier, or maybe I'm just in a 'I- don't- care' state of mind. The kids understand that they have to learn and even though I have had to battle with the occassional "Go do your work!", they do read books on their own, and especially surprisingly N, who likes to read non fiction. Then they would tell me what they learned, sometimes out of their own accord and sometimes with some prompting from me.

This year, N was enrolled in Math Title I because she didn't score too good in her diagnostic Math test. She has always had problems with solving math problems. She is very different in terms of maturity and I have yet to understand her completely. A few days ago, I received an email stating that my child qualified for the Advanced Learner's Program. The teacher didn't specify which one. I asked her. It was S. Reason being : she scored really high in her 3rd grade tests last year, especially in reading. As for H, he's only in 1st grade this year, but his reading skill is almost up to par with S's and more than N's. His Math looks promising too though he keeps saying,

"I don't like Math!"

I no longer make weekly menus. I have gotten lazier as my kids become more independent. As I'm also more involved in my writing, I spend less and less time in the kitchen because finding time to write is in itself a HUGE struggle. I am so spent, but I love every minute of it (well, loosely speaking).

I used to adhere to Flylady but after learning the rudiments of the concept, I started to improvise it, hence my house is back to being messy. (translate = my improvisation didn't pay off) Everything fell apart after J's death because when i was pregnant, no one else carried out my daily cleaning routine as religiously as I had, so I had to deal with starting from scratch in cleaning it.

I need to get back to my 'organized' mode but at this point in the pregnancy I have to say,

"I don't really care."

One thing I noticed though: when you feel like things are overwhelming, and you ask help from Allah, Allah does come to your aid. I have had so many moments of despair, thinking I was raising under average kids, but I have seen improvements year after year Alhamdulillah. The fact that I graduated with the degree that I gained, having had two babies in those undergraduate years, while also extremely hating what I was pursuing shows the Help and Mercy of Allah in the works. It wasn't me. It was Allah. So to all of you who think you can't make it, take solace in the fact that Allah is the only one who can help you and believe it or not, when you think you can't take it, when Allah helps you, subhanallah, it is as if it is a miracle.

Allahu Akbar!