The Cleanest Room in the House!

Decluttering has become my physical ranting and venting in an attempt to be proactive about the mess that has been constantly and consistently plaguing the house, especially in the kids' room.

For someone who would pick up the broom and start sweeping the classroom during prep time whenever she was stressed out or stuck doing her homework, it really is a struggle for me to deal with a constantly messy room.

My recollection of our apartment in Iowa is that of an immaculately maintained townhouse-like apartment, bustling with 3 very young children ranging from the age of 0 to 3, attempts at baking and cake decorating, attempts at sewing and quilting, and informal homeschooling. I really relish and savor those memories, despite the accompanying harrowing memories of a young mother of three very young children dealing with the stress of motherhood. The clean house is what I remember fondly. I would brush the carpet every day, clean the stove after cooking each time without fail, clean the bathroom, stairs and rooms weekly, and every night before we went to bed, I would secretly peek at my warm-hued living room, carpeted and curtained in peachy light pink and centered with a pink bean bag. Despite the three young children, I was able to maintain he upkeep of the apartment to my heart's content.

So imagine my horror when I realize that I no longer am realistically able to keep a clean apartment with three growing children ranging from ages 7 to 11. One would think, logically, that the bigger they are, the easier it would be to utilize them as workers around the house. Little did I realize that I would have to resort to nagging, yelling, threatening, and decluterring in continuous cycles of despair!

I had them doing chores around the house, but their room somehow managed to maintain its unkempt appearance, despite multiple attempts of decluttering on major scales. You won't believe how many big trash bags I have filled with stuff from their room in a matter of months. Yet, I still see 'stuff' in nooks and corners, peeking, sticking out, and just plain irritating me day by day.

So recently, I set out to do my decluterring, and in the process, I managed to throw away some of their (probably) beloved possessions. Truth be told, I feel bad doing it, I feel sentimental, for I am a pack rat at heart, but I had to put on my 'sensible' and reasonable hat for the sake of the house, and my blood pressure.

As I stashed two big trash bags with their belongings, they looked on in silence. I snapped at them every now and then,

"You really don't want me to clean your room, trust me. You really don't."

"This is what happens when I clean your room."

A few days after, I told them to vacuum their now (relatively) 'clean' and decluttered room. H swayed lazily up the stairs, and I barked at him,

"That's the kind of behavior that drives me to clean your room. You want me to clean your room again?!"

before I knew it, they were all bustling in their room, doors closed, thumps and bangs on the floor. The vacuum droned while I nursed Baby Z on the couch downstairs.

"Ummi, don't come in!" they warned me when I tried to enter their room.

Well, well, well, when I was finally allowed to enter, a pleasant sight greeted me. The room was devoid of mess, and its size appears increased, particularly because they had folded and put away their school table, leaving a vast space along the wall and windows. I couldn't help but smile.

Days after, they continued to maintain the tidyness of their room, and when I asked them why, they said,

"Because we like it clean."

Of course, before that they did try to bargain with me.

"If we keep it clean for a month, will you give us a hamster?"

"What about if we keep clean for two months?"

Immediately I thought back to what I read in Screamfree Parenting; that you should let kids make mistakes now rather than later, that you would want them to do something because they want to do it. I want them to keep their room clean because they want their room to be clean, because that is the only true motivation for them to continue doing it without me having to constantly remind them.

So I said no.

"If you keep it clean just because you want a hamster, trust me, it won't be clean for long."

They had claimed that

"We will keep our room clean now."

Alhamdulilah, so far, they have managed to keep their room clean.

"It's the cleanest room in the house, Ummi!" they exclaimed.

"I like our room now, it's so clean!"

And I say it too.

"I like your room now," I would say, and I mean it.

Since the winter chill has been penetrating our living room and kitchen relentlessly nowadays, it is a pleasure to actually park myself in their room, it being so tidy and all.

We'll see how long this lasts. Inshaallah, this will last long, because now they know the pain of loss that comes with Ummi cleaning their room.