Patience

Surah Al-Baqarah(2:153, 155-157)

153. O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salât (the prayer). Truly! Allâh is with As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.).

155. And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.).

156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return."

157. They are those on whom are the Salawât (i.e. blessings, etc.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones.

S and I came across these ayats today in our daily Quran recitation, which struck a chord in me due to recent happenings in my life. The subject matter, obviously, is patience.

The first thing that sprang to my mind when the word is mentioned is patience with regard to getting angry and handling tragedies. How we would be enraptured in awe for someone who perseveres in the face of calamities, giving that person our utmost respect with regard to their steadfastness in staying sane and in control of their predicament. However, that is merely the first base of a treacherous climb up the mountain of eeman, for patience is very closely, in fact, directly related to eeman.

According to Tafsir Ibn Kathir, there are three types of patience mentioned in the Quran.

1. Patience when a calamity strikes
17. "O my son! Aqim­is­Salât (perform As­Salât), enjoin (people) for Al­Ma'rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al­Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allâh, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befall you. Verily! These are some of the important commandments ordered by Allâh with no exemption. Luqman (31:17)

2. Patience in abstaining from doing forbidden things
24. "Salâmun 'Alaikum (peace be upon you) for that you persevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the final home!" Ar-Ra'd(13:24)

3. Patience in maintaining constant worship of Allah
132. And enjoin As-Salât (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e. the Salât (prayers)]. We ask not of you a provision (i.e. to give Us something: money, etc.); We provide for you. And the good end (i.e. Paradise) is for the Muttaqûn (pious - see V.2:2). Taha (20:132)

Being the first pitstop, where the altitude have not yet affected one's breathing, the first type of patience is the easiest to manufacture. When we lose a loved one or our wealth, life goes on and time gradually eases the pain. Sooner or later, we'll most probably get over it. Of course, a small dose of eeman would help a lot. The absence of it would most likely get a person to blame Allah for inflicting such pain on his/her person. Nauzubillah.

Patience in abstaining from doing forbidden things, the second type, is a little bit more difficult to extract from ourselves. The altitude here is a little bit too much such that we're reduced to visible symptoms in our climb. Vomitting, headaches, and giving up would be normal symptoms. We can see that in our society today: the culture of dating and courting. Not being able to have a boyfriend or girlfriend would probably drive most youths out of their minds. It would be a life not worth living anymore.

Imagine trying to not listen to music when we're so used to it. I still remember the time when I trained myself to stop listening to music. I used to love listening to Boyz II Men, Color Me Badd and Mariah Carey, among other R&B. They even had sentimental values to me, which made it that much harder to let go. When I was pregnant with N, I remember singing along to the radio while cooking. It was at that particular time too, that I forced myself to forgo listening to music. In the process, I would keep catching myself singing or at least humming a familiar song. Oh, we all know how a tune can get stuck in our head for so long that even when we don't realize it, we would be humming the stupid song for days on end. That's how difficult it was. Eventually though, I managed to overcome it, and now, I don't voluntarily listen to music anymore, though I have to admit, the urge strikes me every now and again.

Alhamdulillah, due to a short circuit in my memory, the names of rock bands and singers are no longer in my head, which at times forced me to badger my husband when a familiar song blared on the TV while we are channel flipping. He would get a kick out of not satisfying my enquiry by refusing me the information. Reduced to begging, I would implore for him to at least give me a clue, to which he would say,

"Why bother? It wouldn't do you any good."

Yes. Why do I even bother? Patience #2 running low I suppose.

Patience in maintaining constant worship of Allah. Let's just take the example of prayer for this one. We pray five times a day, but do we pray five times a day with the same vigor each time? Do we even have enough vigor to qualify us for a full A on a single prayer? That's not taking into account the issue of concentration in prayer yet, and we're already plummeting to the depths of low scores for not having sufficient vigor in rushing to perform our salat. This is just the fard prayer, not even the extra prayers, which are essential in backing up these fard prayers that we are surely not getting full marks for. If that doesn't make my case, I don't think it's even worth going into other examples to depict this third type of patience we're talking about. Not many people can reach the top anyway.

So, where am I going with this, you may wonder. Inna lillaahi wa inna ilaihi raa'jioon, is what we're supposed to say when calamity strikes us. We're supposed to seek help in patience and prayer. In the end, it's the ones who are patient who will be compensated generously by the Lord of the 'Alameen.

Surah Yusuf was revealed after 'The Year of Sorrow' where Khadijah and Abu Talib passed away, in order to boost up Rasulullah SAW's morale. Naturally he was feeling blue after all the Muslims had to go through after being boycotted for three years by the Quraisy. When his son Ibrahim died, Abu Jahl shunned him by saying that he's the one that is cut off, meaning his sons keep dying, leaving him with no heir. Allah then revealed Surah Al-Kauthar. There were many occasions where Allah supported his prophet in times of sorrow and frustration, reminding him that there were those before him who had gone through major struggles and ended up as the winners, like Prophet Yusuf, Prophet Ayub etc.

In reflecting this issue upon myself, I would say that I have it easy, alhamdulillah. Nevertheless, as did occur in a conversation I had with a dear friend,

"As we go through life, we'll see more stuff than we can ever imagine."

We concluded that life is not life until we see things that disturb us, or have them happen to us eventually. Diseases, death, conflicts that lead to major changes in relationships: these are all things that we fear in life. We would like for life to either remain the same until the day we die, or be better, but the fact of life is, you will never go through it without coming upon a bump along the way. Smooth sailing is just not reality. Your surfboard will eventually reach shallow water or run out of waves, tumbling you headlong into the waters. Your energy will eventually be depleted, causing you to cruise into a little street along your bike route. Your car will finally run out of gas, forcing you to stop at a gas station.

On the other hand, were it not for the shallow water of lack of waves, you might have surfed all the way to Antartica and end up like Robert F. Scott. Were it not for your depleted muscle power, you might have missed that nice little bakery in that little street, with cream puffs that are just to die for. Were it not for the gas running out, you might not have found out that you have an unknown brake problem, or, have your backseat soiled by your preschooler who couldn't 'hold it' any longer.

In other words, these bumps and thorns we face in our lives are actually blessings in disguise. We make it into what we want to make it. That's how we mature. That's how we gain wisdom. And that's how we live life. Life is not worth living without all these bumps and obstacles because then, Jannah would not mean as much. A money well earned is worth more than money falling from the sky.

So where are we in our climb up the mountain of eeman? Are we stuck at the base camp, not having the drive to go past it, or are we ascending beyond it, despite the increasing altitude threatening to rob us of our very existence?