One of the tips in The No-Cry Discipline Solution is not to yell commands from two rooms away for example, which I always do. The proper way is to get down at their eye level, touch their shoulders, make eye contact, and calmly give your command. That's what Muhammad Alshareef said in his 21 TeachingTechniques too. That is the sunnah, (hadith of man who committed zina) subhanallah!
So now I try to make conscious attempts not to do this, but it's a tad more difficult than I thought it would be, especially if I'm nursing and can't get up. So what I do is, call them to come to me. I guess so far it works this way.
Another tip is make sure you follow through after each command. I remember, growing up, my father used to holler commands at me and I would not heed them until he got angry. I think a lot of parents go through this with their children. It's a dangerous cycle to establish and in the book, it says to break this cycle and set a new pattern.
When you tell a child to pick up his toy, make sure he does. If he doesn't, go to him, take his hand and tell him again. If he doesn't make him do it, but in a calm manner (easier said than done, eh mommies?) And I have three!
I have known this too, but in times of hecticness, I always fail to follow through. Solution; think before you open your mouth!
Only issue your command if you're sure you can follow through, otherwise withold it.
Reality: sometimes it's not easy when you have a crying baby you are trying to put to sleep, and you have three children who need to take a shower, and you try to do this. In times of hurry, sometimes commands are issued like torpedos and the cycle happens.
Ah...it's an ongoing test, isn't it?
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