Etiquettes as Teachers

On Free Friday, I met a mother who was looking for audio CDs pertaining to parenting. As I helped her look for one, I realized that her search resonated with my own. I'm always on the lookout for parenting tips and guides nowadays, especially since the kids are entering new stages of childhood each year. There are a lot of parenting books out there, but those that are catered for Muslims are very few, and those that are available, I personally find lacking in vivid real life examples. However, the good news is that most parenting books written by non Muslims actually utilize the sunnah, at least 80% of the time. Most Muslims don't realize that the sunnah embodies so much of what is now in the hands of non Muslims, and as a consequence, we look up to the west and think of Islam as being backward. This is most probably because we have lost touch with the legacy left by Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wasallam, nastaghfirullah.

In class, Shaykh Abdulbary covered a topic that I easily can recall without glancing at my notes, as it pertains a lot to parenting especially homeschooling; etiquettes as teachers. Of course, we are all 'teachers' whether we realize it or not. So here are what he mentioned:

1. Al Hirs
Al hirs is a strong sincere desire for goodness for your students. For parents who are homeschooling, it's easy to have this Hirs because every parent wants good for his/her children.
For teachers in school however, this Hirs has to be thught of consciously, as it might not as easily to them especially when they're on the verge of burning out. I was reading Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families this morning, and I came across a point he made about 'a good parent is way better than an excellent caregiver'. He was talking about sending your child to a daycare versus staying home and caring for that child yourself. No matter how competent and trustworthy someone is, a child is much better off cared for by a good parent, because it is in a parent's nature to sincerely want good for her child.

On this point the Shaykh mentioned the hadith of Abu Dharr who was advised by Rasulullah sallalahu alayhi wasallam to not take a position of leadership. Abu Dharr was the strongest in terms of Ibadah, but he is not one who would make a good leaders, and in advising him as such, Rasulullah sallalahu alayhi wasallam was exercising the Hirs for Abu Dharr. From here also, we can extract the lesson that someone who is pious is not necessarily good material for leadership roles, and vice versa.

He also mentioned the ayah,

Surah At-Tawbah:

Muhsin Khan: Verily, there has come unto you a Messenger (Muhammad SAW) from amongst yourselves (i.e. whom you know well). It grieves him that you should receive any injury or difficulty. He (Muhammad SAW) is anxious over you (to be rightly guided, to repent to Allah, and beg Him to pardon and forgive your sins, in order that you may enter Paradise and be saved from the punishment of the Hell-fire), for the believers (he SAW is) full of pity, kind, and merciful. [9:128]

2. Being gentle and kind when speaking to the students

This might be a little challenging when parents are having bad days, in whcih the advise would be: grab a kit kat!

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would always treat each sahaba kindly such that each of them would think that they're the most beloved to him as in the case of Amr Ibn al-Aas who asked rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam who among the men does he love best.

3. Tawaddhu' (being humble)

Once the Prophet salllaahu alayhi wasallam was giving a khutbah when a man came to tell him that a man had come to learn about Islam. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam stopped his khutbah and told the sahab to get two chairs for that man who wanted to learn islam and the man who brought the message. The prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam then taught the man until the man was satisfied and only after did he return to his khutbah.

Applying this to the concept of the 7 habits, I would say it fits in quadrant 2 (things that are important but not urgent). If this were to happen in today's world, imagine how the people would go in an uproar had the imam stopped the khutbah to tend to a new Muslim.

4. When you're asked a question, give the answer and something more

The hikmah behind this is because the questioner is already in the mode of receiving inputs, as elaborated in this post.

5. Never answer a question you don't know the answer to, especially if it pertains to the deen

6. The best method of teaching is to ask questions

The Shaykh told us of how hs father used this method to teach him the rules of the road such that when taking the writing test, he passed without even studying the booklet. He also told us of how he uses this technique with his son everytime he's in the car. This was how he taught his son the rules of janazah prayer. On subsequent days he asked his son,

"If you were to die in this car due to an accident, would you need a janazah prayer to be done?" (or something like that)

Since he had already indirectly taught his son the rules days before, his son was able to answer the question and apply what he learned. The nice thing is, the learning is done imprompty, and the child doesn't even realize he's learning!

It has come to the point that everytime they get in the car, his son would ask,

"So what's the question today, Dad?"

Mashaallah!

That's something we can do with our children inshaallah.

This is also something I learned in writing, and I have used it effectively too with the kids, alhamdulillah.

7. Repetition of information leaves a deeper imprint in the mind

Sometimes repeating a phrase several times piques curiosity and then the process of learning is expedited and made more appealing. This is akin to opening with a BANG!


8. If a person does not know something and it's out of ignorance, don't scold

The example he gave for this one is of the bedouin urinating in the masjid. How many times do we scold our children for spilling stuff?

A lot of work in progress for moi on this one. Sigh...

9. Always give examples (analogies)

This is very important because it enables the students to relate to a new concept more easily.

I have alhamdulillah manage to employ this technique quite effectively with the kids. Sometimes it would result in rather comical analogies too I must say.

10. Speak slowly

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would speak slowly such that people could count his words if they wanted to. The scholars would repeat to aid memorization, and so should we, as is apparent in memorising anything. The prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would say something and repeat it thrice. The first time is so people could hear it, the second time is to clarify it and the third time is for people to memorize it. A vivid example the Shaykh gave was of the Prophet's sallallahu alayhi wasallam's khutbah at Arafah to the hujjaj. There were no microphones. How could everyone hear him? Through repetition from people to people. There was no rush, and the people were patient, subhanallah!

For this one, I guess I have to put more work into it, as I'm used to garbling up my sentences when speaking due to the speed. When I was growing up, I always feared people would stop listening to me and turn away as I was still speaking to them, so I would speak really quickly, and as years went by, I have developed a rather 'speedy' way of talking.