We were at some friends' apartment last night for a feast and a halaqa. I hadn't actually prepared the kids with things to occupy them while we have the halaqa, so it's no wonder that they were bored and ransacked the house.
There we were sitting in a circle, reciting Quran, when a loud bang came from the room. I got up and went to see what damage my children had done to the host's apartment. When I entered the room, a sight I hadn't been prepared to face greeted me. The top of a coffee table was lying askew off the table's base and N was right in the middle of the mess.
Anger consumed me. My mouth started to berate them, while my hands worked to fix the damage done. Then it occurred to me that the kids needed something to occupy themselves with. So I asked for the host for some papers and pen.
I left them with their papers and pen. A few minutes later, S came out and whispered to me that N took another paper out and was crumpling the rest. I had told them explicitly before I left the room,
"Just one paper each."
So when S came with the news, I was again sparked with anger at N. It wasn't free paper. That was why i had told them just one paper each. Apparently N was rebelling against me for berating her earlier and leaving her with a meager amount of 'distraction'. S had probably also told her to just be content with one paper, and she had probably rebelled against her big sister too. At a loss, the big sister came to me.
I sat in the room with them, angry at N, really angry at her for disobeying me and for being difficult. Suffice it to say, I lost the wisdom of being a parent at that moment. The wisdom that I never possessed in the first place. I would be lying if I say that I'm content with my competence as a parent. Only Allah knows how desperate I am to be bestowed the wisdom and patience of being a parent to three very different children. I must have sat in the room with them a good 15 minutes or so, all the while repeating the same reprimand to N, who was reduced to weeping in anger. I asked her,
"Did you do anything wrong?"
She shook her head. I was burdened with worry. How could she not think she didn'd do anything wrong. I asked her again.
"What you did just now. Was that wrong?"
She nodded. Inwardly, I breathed a sigh of relief. I prodded her on.
"How do you feel about that?"
"Angry," she said determinedly, her hands working furiously inside her shirt. She was obviously angry for my anger towards her. I totally understood how she felt, because that was how I felt whenever my father leashed his anger at me, regardless if it was my fault in the first place. Something in my mind clicked. My voice softened. I asked her again,
"If somebody came to our house, and broke your bed, how would you feel?"
"Mad," she said.
"Why?" I asked. I finally got her to respond to me albeit it in a grudging manner.
"Because I can't sleep on the bed anymore," she said.
"So how do you think the auntie will feel now that you broke her table?"
"Sad," she said, Her voice had softened too.
"As Muslims, we don't want our Muslims sisters and brother to feel bad. We want to make them feel happy. So what can you do to make her feel better?"
She was mute. I asked her again.
"Sorry," she finally said.
By then, all my angry tirade had dissipated, and surprisingly her rebellion too. I took her in my arms and stroked her back, telling her to say sorry to the auntie, whose table she had broken. She wept and her body racked with her sobs.
I returned to the halaqa calm and thankful to Allah. At the time I had most needed the wisdom, He had given it to me. I might not yet grasp the wisdom in my hand, but the event left me still reeling from the effect of the art of parenting. Before we left for home, I whispered to N, reminding her of what she needed to do before we left. She had remembered and actually apologized, albeit it be a tiny whisper. My heart soared when the auntie said,
"Sorry for what? Oh, that's okay."
I didn't actually hear her apologize, for I didn't want to make her feel pressured to do it, so i had moved away and concentrated on putting on my coat, leaving her to carry out the task herself, out of her own choice.
In that room that night, Allah had given me a little peek into the pleasure and reward of being patient and having wisdom. I don't know if I will be able to replicate the actions I committed in that room, that induced things to turn around for the better, but I now know what a little wisdom and patience can do.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
The Conference
We had our now monthly conference last Friday. I had jotted it down on my calendar but when the fated date came i totally forgot about it. So the phone rang unpicked by human hands. Instead the machine picked it up and after shushing each other, K's voice hailed us upstairs, in our ready stance to pick up the phone lest it be someone important. As soon as we heard her, we all rushed to our feet and picked it up before she hung up.
Such is my avoidance of the phone. It has all come to this. What have I done? All because I feel a phone conversation is very much like a face-to-face conversation. I simply refuse to be interrupted while on a phone conversation and that always produces 'abandoned children'. So I now steer away from it since I also can't say "I have to go," without feeling guilty about it. There was a time when i patiently listened to a telemarketer making her sale to me in a non stopping torrent of incomprehensible words, probably foolishly thinking that she had 'caught' me, only to hear me say no at the end. In a way i guess I was torturing her, but I was also too weak to say "no," from the very beginning. I'm lucky I didn't go to high school in the United States. otherwise I'd be in a whole lot of trouble with my inability to say "No."
The conference this time required K to speak with all of the kids and ask them about the history that they've learned so far.
H was the first one to talk on the phone. I sat back, watching him converse on the phone with hie assigned OHVA teacher.
"Yes,"
"No,"
"So people won't steal their stuff,"
"The Nile River,"
"Silt,"
were his audible responses.
Next to go was N. This one ran away to room so she could speak in private, I guess. Huh, typical girl phone behavior? Scary.
ANyway, I doggedly followed her and could see that she was speaking too softly. I kept prodding her to speak louder. She has this habit of holding the phone away from her ears. Don't know why, but suffice it to say, she doesn't have enough phone skills.
Next was S. Also girl phone behavior. Went to my room and placed herself comfortably on the bed, legs stretched out, back leaning against my propped pillows. Hmmm..comfortable indeed. Scary!
At the end of each conversation, K would tell how great the kids were and how well they remember what they were taught, especially H. Perfect time too for her to say that for I was feeling very down in the dumps lately, with the kids schooling. There were countless times where i have felt like giving up, like throwing in the stinky towel and taking to my heels as fast as i could. But I know I'd never be able to live with myself if I did, so i stuck through it, gritting my teeth and witholding complaints as much as i can. It's not easy.
All I can say is, if my kids do prove to retain the knowledge they have acquired thus far and turn out to be as normal as other kids, I would give all credits to Allah. The countless times I had turned to Him, seeking help, ease and patience. Everytime I was betaken with the feeling of helplessness I would sink in my own despair and ultimately turn to Him. I don't know how else i could do it wihtout His help. Nothing I do even if it was my best could help me if Allah does not will it.
Such is my avoidance of the phone. It has all come to this. What have I done? All because I feel a phone conversation is very much like a face-to-face conversation. I simply refuse to be interrupted while on a phone conversation and that always produces 'abandoned children'. So I now steer away from it since I also can't say "I have to go," without feeling guilty about it. There was a time when i patiently listened to a telemarketer making her sale to me in a non stopping torrent of incomprehensible words, probably foolishly thinking that she had 'caught' me, only to hear me say no at the end. In a way i guess I was torturing her, but I was also too weak to say "no," from the very beginning. I'm lucky I didn't go to high school in the United States. otherwise I'd be in a whole lot of trouble with my inability to say "No."
The conference this time required K to speak with all of the kids and ask them about the history that they've learned so far.
H was the first one to talk on the phone. I sat back, watching him converse on the phone with hie assigned OHVA teacher.
"Yes,"
"No,"
"So people won't steal their stuff,"
"The Nile River,"
"Silt,"
were his audible responses.
Next to go was N. This one ran away to room so she could speak in private, I guess. Huh, typical girl phone behavior? Scary.
ANyway, I doggedly followed her and could see that she was speaking too softly. I kept prodding her to speak louder. She has this habit of holding the phone away from her ears. Don't know why, but suffice it to say, she doesn't have enough phone skills.
Next was S. Also girl phone behavior. Went to my room and placed herself comfortably on the bed, legs stretched out, back leaning against my propped pillows. Hmmm..comfortable indeed. Scary!
At the end of each conversation, K would tell how great the kids were and how well they remember what they were taught, especially H. Perfect time too for her to say that for I was feeling very down in the dumps lately, with the kids schooling. There were countless times where i have felt like giving up, like throwing in the stinky towel and taking to my heels as fast as i could. But I know I'd never be able to live with myself if I did, so i stuck through it, gritting my teeth and witholding complaints as much as i can. It's not easy.
All I can say is, if my kids do prove to retain the knowledge they have acquired thus far and turn out to be as normal as other kids, I would give all credits to Allah. The countless times I had turned to Him, seeking help, ease and patience. Everytime I was betaken with the feeling of helplessness I would sink in my own despair and ultimately turn to Him. I don't know how else i could do it wihtout His help. Nothing I do even if it was my best could help me if Allah does not will it.
The Cheek of H
I have a feeling like I'm going to be writing a lot about the cheek of this boy. First. there's his artificial dimple. On the right cheek, it appears like a twinkling star everytime he bares his tiny pearly whites in a cheeky grin or a coy smile. People would remark on his dimple, thinking that it truly is a natural dimple. Beguiled, they believe that he was born with that dimple. Little do they know that the dimple was actually borne out of sibling rivalry, or better phrased as 'the entertainment in the trip from Iowa to Georgia'.
Ever since they were small, N and H have always been at each other's throat, but not in the form of verbal argument. No. The verbal argument is 'peacefully' left to H and S. S, being the big sister and the eldest, always insists that she is in the right. No matter how many times I tell her not to argue with the 'ignorant' (which is obviously, H), she always manages to drive herself mad over silly arguments with H. H on the other hand, seems to enjoy his heated 'conversations' with his big sister. At times he seems almost to insist being wrong just so S would get all riled up. At other times, he himself would rise up to the challenge and bark back at his older sister, insisting that he's the one in the right. Then he would go off stomping, crying and loudly insisting that he was right and others were wrong. It is at these times that my patience is really tried to the core.
Anyway, back to the milder sister, N. She is mild in temperament, and commanding her to speak is like commanding the cave to open for the thieves. Simply saying 'open sesame' would not be sufficient. I was unknoningly reduced to speak for her, which was later on brought into light by someone, fortunately. Despite her mildness, she is cunning in her own way. It was during these toddler times of hers that she showed her true nature. H would contentedly be playing on the floor with an assortment of toys around him, with his sisters lingering around, appearing to play with him. Suddenly out of nowhere, H would be crying pitifully, much like a baby kitten, with no apparent reason. At first I couldn't find the culprit, so i stopped looking for one. However, the crying began to occur more often and so i was forced to solve the mystery.
I was then that I noticed my children, in their true blue nature, at work. N, at the age of 2, had developed an uncanny ability to administer painful attacks rather stealthily. Her face betrayed nothing. if I wasn't watching that intently, I would have easily missed it. With her normal expression, wide eyed, calm manner, she would walk by her little brother in the most normal way possible. You wouldn't even think she was up to no good. Suddenly, like one of the boys in Oliver Twist, she would swipe her sneaky hand to his face or wherever she could get in on, and administer one of her very stinging attacks. Lo and behold, the poor babe wails! And the sweet litte wide-eyed angel walks away as if nothing had happened, in her sing song manner, singing her revenge away.
From then on, I made sure to watch her closely, but during the drive from Iowa to Georgia, which was unbearabably long, I failed to do that. We had put them side by side in their car seats. BIG mistake. The scratching tournament began. By the end of the trip, H's cheek was riddled with scabs upon scabs. It's a wonder only one of them turned into a dimple. Otherwise, he would have had a crater on his face.
Up to this day, his dimple, artificial as it is, stays as a manifest proof of N's artful attacks on her little brother.
There's THAT cheek of H. Then there's also his cheek with words.
"H made me angry!"
"No, I didn't!"
"H, don't make her angry,"
"But you said that no one can make anyone do anything. Yeah, you said that,"
Then, there's also:
They were riding in S's car and it happened that S has a toy bunny in it. H said,
"That's 'bunny' Israel!"
There're many more that I wished i had recorded for memory sake. In fact I'm racking my head trying to remember a particular one he had come out with, to no avail. And here he is, laughing away at his poor mother in choruses of evil laughter, who in all honesty, is just trying to record some of the most memorable moments of her children's childhood, for before she knows it, it will all soon pass. Ah.....the cheek of H.
Ever since they were small, N and H have always been at each other's throat, but not in the form of verbal argument. No. The verbal argument is 'peacefully' left to H and S. S, being the big sister and the eldest, always insists that she is in the right. No matter how many times I tell her not to argue with the 'ignorant' (which is obviously, H), she always manages to drive herself mad over silly arguments with H. H on the other hand, seems to enjoy his heated 'conversations' with his big sister. At times he seems almost to insist being wrong just so S would get all riled up. At other times, he himself would rise up to the challenge and bark back at his older sister, insisting that he's the one in the right. Then he would go off stomping, crying and loudly insisting that he was right and others were wrong. It is at these times that my patience is really tried to the core.
Anyway, back to the milder sister, N. She is mild in temperament, and commanding her to speak is like commanding the cave to open for the thieves. Simply saying 'open sesame' would not be sufficient. I was unknoningly reduced to speak for her, which was later on brought into light by someone, fortunately. Despite her mildness, she is cunning in her own way. It was during these toddler times of hers that she showed her true nature. H would contentedly be playing on the floor with an assortment of toys around him, with his sisters lingering around, appearing to play with him. Suddenly out of nowhere, H would be crying pitifully, much like a baby kitten, with no apparent reason. At first I couldn't find the culprit, so i stopped looking for one. However, the crying began to occur more often and so i was forced to solve the mystery.
I was then that I noticed my children, in their true blue nature, at work. N, at the age of 2, had developed an uncanny ability to administer painful attacks rather stealthily. Her face betrayed nothing. if I wasn't watching that intently, I would have easily missed it. With her normal expression, wide eyed, calm manner, she would walk by her little brother in the most normal way possible. You wouldn't even think she was up to no good. Suddenly, like one of the boys in Oliver Twist, she would swipe her sneaky hand to his face or wherever she could get in on, and administer one of her very stinging attacks. Lo and behold, the poor babe wails! And the sweet litte wide-eyed angel walks away as if nothing had happened, in her sing song manner, singing her revenge away.
From then on, I made sure to watch her closely, but during the drive from Iowa to Georgia, which was unbearabably long, I failed to do that. We had put them side by side in their car seats. BIG mistake. The scratching tournament began. By the end of the trip, H's cheek was riddled with scabs upon scabs. It's a wonder only one of them turned into a dimple. Otherwise, he would have had a crater on his face.
Up to this day, his dimple, artificial as it is, stays as a manifest proof of N's artful attacks on her little brother.
There's THAT cheek of H. Then there's also his cheek with words.
"H made me angry!"
"No, I didn't!"
"H, don't make her angry,"
"But you said that no one can make anyone do anything. Yeah, you said that,"
Then, there's also:
They were riding in S's car and it happened that S has a toy bunny in it. H said,
"That's 'bunny' Israel!"
There're many more that I wished i had recorded for memory sake. In fact I'm racking my head trying to remember a particular one he had come out with, to no avail. And here he is, laughing away at his poor mother in choruses of evil laughter, who in all honesty, is just trying to record some of the most memorable moments of her children's childhood, for before she knows it, it will all soon pass. Ah.....the cheek of H.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Sinus Infection - Monday Nov 7
He doesn't have pneumonia Alhamdulillah, but he has sinus infection instead. So H is on amoxicillin now. We didn't officially start school today because the visit to the doctor messed up our schedule. We also had to pick up H's prescription at Kroger. No matter. The kids are into writing letters now. They just mailed an envelope each to their grandparents and their penpals.
I have a dental appointment today. The girls lugged along their care bear. The check up took so long that F and the kids left me and went home by bus.
Another one of those things happened to me.
"J, you don't look your age. I was looking at your records and your kids, and I thought, 'hmm she doesn't look 29'. You have a young face."
Well, well, well, how was I supposed to respond to that? The american way would be to smile appreciatively and say thank you. The Malay way would be to vehemently deny it while hiding a building sense of joy inside. I did it the American way.
It made me think. How is 29 supposed to look like, I wonder?
When I got home, Love-a-lot was head down in the laundry basket. The girls had apparently played with her so much so that she probably accumulated all the germs and dirt existent in the dental building.
I have a dental appointment today. The girls lugged along their care bear. The check up took so long that F and the kids left me and went home by bus.
Another one of those things happened to me.
"J, you don't look your age. I was looking at your records and your kids, and I thought, 'hmm she doesn't look 29'. You have a young face."
Well, well, well, how was I supposed to respond to that? The american way would be to smile appreciatively and say thank you. The Malay way would be to vehemently deny it while hiding a building sense of joy inside. I did it the American way.
It made me think. How is 29 supposed to look like, I wonder?
When I got home, Love-a-lot was head down in the laundry basket. The girls had apparently played with her so much so that she probably accumulated all the germs and dirt existent in the dental building.
Eid Mubarak! Day 3
The kids donned on their Eid attire again. We were the only family there. The rest of them were students, single and very much on the ho hum if you know what I mean. I know. I was 'been there and done that'.
A group of students from Cleveland came in and there was one girl among them. She sat with D and me and looking at N, asked us,
"Family dia ni tinggal kat sini ke?"
For a while I had assumed she knew I was N's mother. After a while though, it appeared that she didn't and we replied heartily, "Yes."
She said I didn't look like I have three children. Now that is something really nice to hear!
Sunday was a good day but I was struck with a very great disappointment and depression at having witnessed something I didn't expect. Suffice it to say, it's really depressing to find out that people change. Even though we don't have any business judging people by their attire and appearances, it is apparent that Iman can't be hidden. When iman is present, its effect and presence is felt. When a change occurs as obvious as it did before my eyes then, I could see it as a downward movement, because prior to that, it was better, at least on the surface. We can't judge what's in people's heart and should have no business doing so. Even the hypocrites during the times of the sahaba were considered Muslims unless they announced it. That's between them and Allah, and not for us to judge.
Anyway, I hope it's a temporary stumble for her sake.
Back home, I had a talk with the kids. H had asked me on the way to the van,
"Why don't some people wear tudung(hijab)?"
We replied with "I don't know."
We didn't talk at all about it for fear of backbiting, but I wanted to make sure the kids understand what was going on.
So I hashed out a lesson on how important it is to keep our hearts pure and keep ourselves close to Allah so we don't veer away. Even minute insignificant things can steer us further away from Allah. Before we know it we can be million zillion of miles away from where we want to be.
Overall, the day had a somber mood to it, at least for us adults. We silently sat watching TV, not saying anything to each other, though I sensed that we were probably both thinking the same thing. I still can't get over how it happened.
Since it was pretty windy that afternoon, we let the kids fly their kites. I really marvel at their kite flying skills, because I have none! Even H knows how to steer his kite. However, his coughing sounded pneumonia-like. I resolved to bring him to the doctor Monday.
Over was our Eid weekend. All in all, it was a great Eid Alhamdulillah! May we see another one as we ascend up the ladder of iman insyaallah. Ameen...
A group of students from Cleveland came in and there was one girl among them. She sat with D and me and looking at N, asked us,
"Family dia ni tinggal kat sini ke?"
For a while I had assumed she knew I was N's mother. After a while though, it appeared that she didn't and we replied heartily, "Yes."
She said I didn't look like I have three children. Now that is something really nice to hear!
Sunday was a good day but I was struck with a very great disappointment and depression at having witnessed something I didn't expect. Suffice it to say, it's really depressing to find out that people change. Even though we don't have any business judging people by their attire and appearances, it is apparent that Iman can't be hidden. When iman is present, its effect and presence is felt. When a change occurs as obvious as it did before my eyes then, I could see it as a downward movement, because prior to that, it was better, at least on the surface. We can't judge what's in people's heart and should have no business doing so. Even the hypocrites during the times of the sahaba were considered Muslims unless they announced it. That's between them and Allah, and not for us to judge.
Anyway, I hope it's a temporary stumble for her sake.
Back home, I had a talk with the kids. H had asked me on the way to the van,
"Why don't some people wear tudung(hijab)?"
We replied with "I don't know."
We didn't talk at all about it for fear of backbiting, but I wanted to make sure the kids understand what was going on.
So I hashed out a lesson on how important it is to keep our hearts pure and keep ourselves close to Allah so we don't veer away. Even minute insignificant things can steer us further away from Allah. Before we know it we can be million zillion of miles away from where we want to be.
Overall, the day had a somber mood to it, at least for us adults. We silently sat watching TV, not saying anything to each other, though I sensed that we were probably both thinking the same thing. I still can't get over how it happened.
Since it was pretty windy that afternoon, we let the kids fly their kites. I really marvel at their kite flying skills, because I have none! Even H knows how to steer his kite. However, his coughing sounded pneumonia-like. I resolved to bring him to the doctor Monday.
Over was our Eid weekend. All in all, it was a great Eid Alhamdulillah! May we see another one as we ascend up the ladder of iman insyaallah. Ameen...
Eid Mubarak! Day 2
Saturday: well officially day 3 of Eid, but our day 2 was spent at home, while F went to campus to do his work. We didn't do school though. That night we visited some of the Malay guys' houses.
We were invited at 9 am Saturday to one of the Indonesian guys' apartment, who is a Chef.
It was really GREAT food. Fried talapia with Indonesian-mexican salsa and sayur. I really love frequenting these Indonesian houses.
There was an American lady there amongst us Malaysians and Indonesians. We had a Quran recitation and she sat through it, next to me. I took the opportunity to explain bits and pieces of the verses we were reciting. Interestingly they chose to read Surah Al-Imran, which is chock full of stuff on Christianity. Coincidence? I would never know.
The girls received Love-a-lot. They were ecstatic and lugs it everywhere they go from then on. After the great food we went to Al Maghrib's study session. Lugged all the kids. However, last minute H bailled out as A dropped us off on campus. He had dozed off and when we woke him up, of course he was all moody and refused to come with us. So we let him go with A. Turned out, he spent the afternoon playing computer game in the guys's house while we sat through the study session with the girls.
It was another great day of great food, Alhamdulillah. The next day, Sunday, we are to sample the Malaysian's cooking. Another cooking-free day for me. Nasi kerabu and nasi dagang were my anticipated menu for the day. Can't wait!
We were invited at 9 am Saturday to one of the Indonesian guys' apartment, who is a Chef.
It was really GREAT food. Fried talapia with Indonesian-mexican salsa and sayur. I really love frequenting these Indonesian houses.
There was an American lady there amongst us Malaysians and Indonesians. We had a Quran recitation and she sat through it, next to me. I took the opportunity to explain bits and pieces of the verses we were reciting. Interestingly they chose to read Surah Al-Imran, which is chock full of stuff on Christianity. Coincidence? I would never know.
The girls received Love-a-lot. They were ecstatic and lugs it everywhere they go from then on. After the great food we went to Al Maghrib's study session. Lugged all the kids. However, last minute H bailled out as A dropped us off on campus. He had dozed off and when we woke him up, of course he was all moody and refused to come with us. So we let him go with A. Turned out, he spent the afternoon playing computer game in the guys's house while we sat through the study session with the girls.
It was another great day of great food, Alhamdulillah. The next day, Sunday, we are to sample the Malaysian's cooking. Another cooking-free day for me. Nasi kerabu and nasi dagang were my anticipated menu for the day. Can't wait!
Eid Mubarak! Day 1
S fasted full the whole month! Mabrook!! N missed 2 days because she was sick. And H fasted 7 full days, 2 three-quarter days and 1 half day. Eid fell on Thursday, after much waiting until at night on Wednesday. The kids had already gone to bed that Wednesday and they fell asleep not knowing that the next day was Eid.
Clad in their Eid clothes, we all headed to the Bill McDonald Sports Complex for the Eid prayer that was supposed to commence at 8:30 am. But of course, Muslims and their perception of time, we only started praying at around 9 am or later. I didn't even pay attention because we were rushing like crazy, thinking we were late for sure, and when we got there, they haven't even lauded the Takbir yet! S came with me to the women's side while N and H went with their Ab to the men's side. In our rush S forgot to bring her hijab, we when we arrived at the complex she had to wear N's hijab while N had to go without. So much for all the training during Ramadan!
The Eid prayer went on smoothly, we heard the khateeb very well. Overall it was a very nice Eid prayer. We rushed back home for our open house. Received Indonesians and one Malaysian. The other Malaysians who were supposed to turn up before noon didn't turn up until much later in the day, rendering us bleary-eyed and weary. I vowed never to hold an open house without making sure people can actually attend, ever again. To make it worse, it was on a weekday and most people had to go back to class and work. I also just realized that most of the Muslims here live in clans and have their own families to spend Eid with, though I'm sure there are some who don't but they had to go back to work. Spending Eid in a university town where most of the Muslims were foreigners was much different than here. I still have to get used to it.
We had promised the kids we would go to Chuck E Cheeses, but the people came to our open house group by group, one after the other, stretching our open house hours longer than we intended to have it. F had specified it to be from morning till noon, but it became extended till 4 pm. We were also invited to our Indonesian friend's house at around 5/6 pm, so that meant we had to rush to Chuck E Cheeses right away. We promptly left at 4 after our guests left.
I was dead tired by then. Never had I wished for guests to leave like I did then. Some didn't stay too long, but some did. By the time we all were in the van, headed for Chuck E Cheeses, I was very deathly silent; a very abnormal occurence for a chatter like myself.
I felt bad for the kids, because we only had a small slot of time left to spend at Chuck E Cheeses then. We had planned to go around 3 pm initially. So since maghrib came in around 5:30, we only spent a rushed half an hour or more at Chuck E Cheeses. ALhamdulillah though, the kids had fun and didn't demand more.
The last part of the day was spent at our Indonesian friend's house and it was such great company. The kids really enjoyed themselves there too because there was a lot of romping space. Alhamdulilah our day ended with joyful company.
When we got in our front door, S said to me,
"Ummi, here's my money. It's for you."
"What for?" I asked, simply relieved to be back home.
"For bringing us to all those places even though you were tired," she replied.
My heart melted right there and then. Did I ever mention that we were tired to the kids? I didn't think we did. My silence was what probably did it, or maybe I did unknowingly say to F that I was exhausted beyond exhaustion in Malay in the van, unaware that S understands Malay.
Alhamdulillah, to Allah the most High for blessing us with very good children.
We went to bed that night excited to go to another invitation the next day. The host is a chef, so I anticipated GREAT food. Night, night, don't let the bed bugs bite.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Salih or Hud? 'Aad or Thamood?
It was time to get back to our 'Lives of the Prophet' sessions. The last time we did it, we stopped at Prophet Salih. However, there was a bit of a confusion in the mix because both nations, 'Aad and Thamood were somewhat similar. Even I was confused as to which one was which. Mostly, the confusion was what punishment did each nation receive. So we rehashed it and listened again to the story of Prophet Salih.
Prophet Hud & the 'Aad:
The people of 'Aad were unlike any nation Allah had created in stature
7. Who were very tall like lofty pillars,
8. The like of which were not created in the land? (Al-Fajr(89/6-8))
69. "Do you wonder that there has come to you a Reminder (and an advice) from your Lord through a man from amongst you that he may warn you? And remember that He made you successors after the people of Nûh (Noah), and increased you amply in stature. So remember the graces (bestowed upon you) from Allâh, so that you may be successful."(al-A'raf (7/69))
They were wealthy with man power, agriculture and powerful tyrants. They also built many monuments on top of hills and built their homes as if they were going to live forever.
38. And (also) 'Ad and Thamûd, and the dwellers of Ar-Rass, and many generations in between.al-Furqan(25/38)
128. "Do you build high palaces on every high place, while you do not live in them?
129. "And do you get for yourselves palaces (fine buildings) as if you will live therein for ever[].
130. "And when you seize, seize you as tyrants?
131. "So fear Allâh, keep your duty to Him, and obey me.
132. "And keep your duty to Him, fear Him Who has aided you with all (good things) that you know.
133. "He has aided you with cattle and children.
134. "And gardens and springs. as-shuara'(26/128-134)
They had a drought and when they saw incoming clouds, they rejoiced, thinking it was rain coming to bless their dry land.
21. And remember (Hûd) the brother of 'Ad, when he warned his people in Al-Ahqâf (the curved sand-hills in the southern part of Arabian Peninsula). And surely, there have passed away warners before him and after him (saying): "Worship none but Allâh; truly, I fear for you the torment of a mighty Day."
22. They said: "Have you come to turn us away from our âliha (gods)? Then bring us that with which you threaten us, if you are one of the truthful!"
23. He said: "The knowledge (of the time of its coming) is with Allâh only, and I convey to you that wherewith I have been sent, but I see that you are a people given to ignorance!"
24. Then, when they saw it as a dense cloud coming towards their valleys, they said: "This is a cloud bringing us rain!" Nay, but it is that (torment) which you were asking to be hastened! a wind wherein is a painful torment!
25. Destroying everything by the Command of its Lord! So they became such that nothing could be seen except their dwellings! Thus do We recompense the people who are Mujrimûn (polytheists, disbelievers, sinners, etc.)! al-Ahqaf(46/21-26)
They were destroyed by a cold,ravaging,howling wind beating upon them from all directions, rendering them like hollowed palm tree trunks.
13. But if they turn away, then say (O Muhammad SAW): "I have warned you of a Sâ'iqah (a destructive awful cry, torment, hit, a thunderbolt) like the Sâ'iqah which overtook 'Ad and Thamûd (people)." Fussilat (41/13)
15. As for 'Ad, they were arrogant in the land without right, and they said: "Who is mightier than us in strength?" See they not that Allâh, Who created them was mightier in strength than them. And they used to deny Our Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, revelations, etc.)!
16. So We sent upon them furious wind in days of evil omen (for them) that We might give them a taste of disgracing torment in this present worldly life, but surely the torment of the Hereafter will be more disgracing, and they will never be helped. Fussilat(41/15-6)
They built their dwelling in the ahqaf which were turned to mere sand dunes. Had ALlah not told us about them in the Quran we wouldn't have known at all about them. Allah totally wiped them out. The wind that destroyed them slammed them for seven days and eight nights in succession.
21. And remember (Hûd) the brother of 'Ad, when he warned his people in Al-Ahqâf (the curved sand-hills in the southern part of Arabian Peninsula). And surely, there have passed away warners before him and after him (saying): "Worship none but Allâh; truly, I fear for you the torment of a mighty Day." Al-Ahqaf (46/21)
41. And in 'Ad (there is also a sign) when We sent against them the barren wind;
42. It spared nothing that it reached, but blew it into broken spreads of rotten ruins.Az-Zaariyat(51/41-42)
18. 'Ad (people) belied (their Prophet, Hûd), then how (terrible) was My Torment and My Warnings?
19. Verily, We sent against them a furious wind of harsh voice on a day of evil omen and continuous calamity.
20. Plucking out men as if they were uprooted stems of date-palms.
21. Then, how (terrible) was My Torment and My Warnings?
22. And We have indeed made the Qur'ân easy to understand and remember, then is there any that will remember (or receive admonition)?Al-Qamar(54/)
6. And as for 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious violent wind;
7. Which Allâh imposed on them for seven nights and eight days in succession, so that you could see men lying overthrown (destroyed), as if they were hollow trunks of date-palms! Al-Haqqah(69/6-7)
Prophet Salih & The Thamood:
Prophet Salih was a young man from a noble family.They were preparing him to be their leader. Once Salih called them to Allah, they rejected him and asked for a sign to prove that he really was a prophet, so Allah gave them a sign, which was the she-camel that came out of a rock. There were some rules though that they were supposed to follow regarding the camels.
1. They were to let her drink the water and take turns with her.
2. They were not to harm her in any way.
73. And to Thamûd (people, We sent) their brother Sâlih (Saleh). He said: "O my people! Worship Allâh! You have no other Ilâh (God) but Him. (Lâ ilâha ill-Allâh: none has the right to be worshipped but Allâh). Indeed there has come to you a clear sign (the miracle of the coming out of a huge shecamel from the midst of a rock) from your Lord. This shecamel of Allâh is a sign unto you; so you leave her to graze in Allâh's earth, and touch her not with harm, lest a painful torment should seize you.
74. "And remember when He made you successors after 'Ad (people) and gave you habitations in the land, you build for yourselves palaces in plains, and carve out homes in the mountains. So remember the graces (bestowed upon you) from Allâh, and do not go about making mischief on the earth."
75. The leaders of those who were arrogant among his people said to those who were counted weak - to such of them as believed: "Know you that Sâlih (Saleh) is one sent from his Lord." They said: "We indeed believe in that with which he has been sent."
76. Those who were arrogant said: "Verily, we disbelieve in that which you believe in."
77. So they killed the shecamel and insolently defied the Commandment of their Lord, and said: "O Sâlih (Saleh)! Bring about your threats if you are indeed one of the Messengers (of Allâh)."
78. So the earthquake seized them, and they lay (dead), prostrate in their homes.
79. Then he [Sâlih (Saleh)] turned from them, and said: "O my people! I have indeed conveyed to you the Message of my Lord, and have given you good advice but you like not good advisers." Al-A'raf(7/73-79)
11. Thamûd (people) denied (their Prophet) through their transgression (by rejecting the true Faith of Islâmic Monotheism, and by following polytheism, and by committing every kind of sin).
12. When the most wicked man among them went forth (to kill the she-camel).
13. But the Messenger of Allâh [Sâlih (Saleh) <><>] said to them: "Be cautious! Fear the evil end. That is the she-camel of Allâh! (Do not harm it) and bar it not from having its drink!"
14. Then they denied him and they killed it. So their Lord destroyed them because of their sin, and made them equal in destruction (i.e. all grades of people, rich and poor, strong and weak, etc.)!
15. And He (Allâh) feared not the consequences thereof. As-Shams(91/11-15)
61. And to Thamûd (people, We sent) their brother Sâlih (Saleh). He said: "O my people! Worship Allâh, you have no other Ilâh (God) but Him. He brought you forth from the earth and settled you therein, then ask forgiveness of Him and turn to Him in repentance. Certainly, my Lord is Near (to all by His Knowledge), Responsive."
62. They said: "O Sâlih (Saleh)! You have been among us as a figure of good hope (and we wished for you to be our chief), till this [new thing which you have brought; that we leave our gods and worship your God (Allâh) Alone]! Do you (now) forbid us the worship of what our fathers have worshipped? But we are really in grave doubt as to that which you invite us to (monotheism)."
63. He said: "O my people! Tell me, if I have a clear proof from my Lord, and there has come to me a Mercy (Prophethood, etc.) from Him, who then can help me against Allâh, if I were to disobey Him? Then you increase me not but in loss.
64. "And O my people! This she-camel of Allâh is a sign to you, leave her to feed on Allâh's earth, and touch her not with evil, lest a near torment will seize you."
65. But they killed her. So he said: "Enjoy yourselves in your homes for three days. This is a promise (i.e. a threat) that will not be belied."
66. So when Our Commandment came, We saved Sâlih (Saleh) and those who believed with him by a Mercy from Us, and from the disgrace of that Day. Verily, your Lord, He is the All-Strong, the All-Mighty.
67. And As-Saîhah (torment - awful cry, etc.) overtook the wrong-doers, so they lay (dead), prostrate in their homes, -
68. As if they had never lived there. No doubt! Verily, Thamûd disbelieved in their Lord. So away with Thamûd! Hud (11/61-68)
59. And nothing stops Us from sending the Ayât (proofs, evidences, signs) but that the people of old denied them. And We sent the she-camel to Thamûd as a clear sign, but they did her wrong. And We sent not the signs except to warn, and to make them afraid (of destruction).Al-Isra'(17/59)
They carved out their dwellings from the mountainous rocks. They were very skilled architects. They were also blessed with wealth in agriculture like the 'Aad.
9. And (with) Thamûd (people), who cut (hewed) out rocks in the valley (to make dwellings)?Al-Fajr(89/9)
38. And (also) 'Ad and Thamûd, and the dwellers of Ar-Rass, and many generations in between.Al-Furqaan(25/38)
141. Thamûd (people) belied the Messenger.
142. When their brother Sâlih (Saleh) said to them: "Will you not fear Allâh and obey Him?
143. "I am a trustworthy Messenger to you.
144. "So fear Allâh, keep your duty to Him, and obey me.
145. "No reward do I ask of you for it (my Message of Islâmic Monotheism), my reward is only from the Lord of the 'Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists).
146. "Will you be left secure in that which you have here?
147. "In gardens and springs.
148. And green crops (fields etc.) and date-palms with soft spadix.
149. "And you carve houses out of mountains with great skill.
150. "So fear Allâh, keep your duty to Him, and obey me.
151. "And follow not the command of Al-Musrifûn [i.e. their chiefs, leaders who were polytheists, criminals and sinners],
152. "Who make mischief in the land, and reform not."
153. They said: "You are only of those bewitched!
154. "You are but a human being like us. Then bring us a sign if you are of the truthful."
155. He said: "Here is a she-camel; it has a right to drink (water), and you have a right to drink (water) (each) on a day, known.
156. "And touch her not with harm, lest the torment of a Great Day seize you."
157. But they killed her, and then they became regretful.
158. So the torment overtook them. Verily, in this is indeed a sign, yet most of them are not believers.
159. And verily! Your Lord, He is indeed the All-Mighty, the Most Merciful. As-Shuara(26/141-159)
14. When the Messengers came to them, from before them and behind them (saying): "Worship none but Allâh" They said: "If our Lord had so willed, He would surely have sent down the angels. So indeed! We disbelieve in that with which you have been sent." Fussilat(41/14)
17. And as for Thamûd, We showed and made clear to them the Path of Truth (Islâmic Monotheism) through Our Messenger, (i.e. showed them the way of success), but they preferred blindness to guidance, so the Sâ'iqah (a destructive awful cry, torment, hit, a thunderbolt) of disgracing torment seized them, because of what they used to earn. Fussilat(41/17)
43. And in Thamûd (there is also a sign), when they were told: "Enjoy yourselves for a while!"
44. But they insolently defied the Command of their Lord, so the Sâ'iqah[] overtook them while they were looking. az-Zaariyat(51/43-44)
23. Thamûd (people also) belied the warnings.
24. For they said: "A man! Alone from among us, that we are to follow? Truly, then we should be in error and distress or madness!"
25. "Is it that the Reminder is sent to him [Prophet Sâlih (Saleh) <><>] alone from among us? Nay, he is an insolent liar!"
26. Tomorrow they will come to know, who is the liar, the insolent one!
27. Verily, We are sending the she-camel as a test for them. So watch them [O Sâlih (Saleh) <><>], and be patient!
28. And inform them that the water is to be shared between (her and) them. Each one's right to drink being established (by turns).
29. But they called their comrade and he took (a sword) and killed (her).
30. Then, how (terrible) was My Torment and My Warnings?
31. Verily, We sent against them a single Saîhah (torment - awful cry, etc.), and they became like the dry stubble of a fold-builder.al-Qamar(54/18-31)
5. As for Thamûd, they were destroyed by the awful cry! Al-Haqqah(69/5)
But of course they did disobey Allah. Nine men plotted to kill the she camel. When they did reach the camel, they hesitated because it was bigger than the normal camel. Then one man, the most evil one among them went forth and stabbed her in the leg and when she fell they killed her. They then went to Salih and mocked him, asking for the punishment that was promised. Salih said they had 3 days to enjoy themselves. Day 1 passed, then day 2 then day 3. By then they were full of arrogance and mockery, taunting Salih for the promised punishment. On day 4 however, just as promised, the punishment which was an earthquake, probably triggered by the loud cry which could be equivalent to a sound wave that is able to shake the earth, struck them dead.
When we reached the part where the ayah was recited in which the most evil man among them went forth, I asked them,
"Does the ayat sound familiar?"
"No,"
"Yes,"
"What surah is it?" I asked.
"Ummm,"
Silence.
Suddenly, a small voice piped up,
"As-Shams."
She remembers. They went to summer school in 2002 or was it 2003 at Sunrise and had to memorize that Surah for that summer. So every time I picked them up we would recite the surah in the van on the way home to aid their memorization. We actually even did an accordion book on some arabic words from that surah, where I had them write down the word in Arabic and illustrate the particular page with regards to the word. I can still remember a picture of a camel and a dagger probably drawn by N.
So we finally sorted out the similarities and differences between the people of 'Aad and Thamood. I learned something new too, which is the best part of homeschooling. In compiling these ayats on Thamood and 'Aad, I can't help but notice the source of confusion. They are always mentioned together. As for the punishment, it seemed to be very similar too, except that the 'Aad's punishment was mentioned to go on for 7 days and 8 nights, and also the fact that 'Aad was created to be very tall people.
I never learned of these details when i was growing up. My only source of the stories of the prophets was one meager book which I read over and over again.
It was also interesting to note that during the listening session, every once in a while the kids would stop the tape and ask,
"What's noble?"
"What's tyrant?"
"How can a man kill another man?"
"What's a sound wave?"
Prophet Hud & the 'Aad:
The people of 'Aad were unlike any nation Allah had created in stature
7. Who were very tall like lofty pillars,
8. The like of which were not created in the land? (Al-Fajr(89/6-8))
69. "Do you wonder that there has come to you a Reminder (and an advice) from your Lord through a man from amongst you that he may warn you? And remember that He made you successors after the people of Nûh (Noah), and increased you amply in stature. So remember the graces (bestowed upon you) from Allâh, so that you may be successful."(al-A'raf (7/69))
They were wealthy with man power, agriculture and powerful tyrants. They also built many monuments on top of hills and built their homes as if they were going to live forever.
38. And (also) 'Ad and Thamûd, and the dwellers of Ar-Rass, and many generations in between.al-Furqan(25/38)
128. "Do you build high palaces on every high place, while you do not live in them?
129. "And do you get for yourselves palaces (fine buildings) as if you will live therein for ever[].
130. "And when you seize, seize you as tyrants?
131. "So fear Allâh, keep your duty to Him, and obey me.
132. "And keep your duty to Him, fear Him Who has aided you with all (good things) that you know.
133. "He has aided you with cattle and children.
134. "And gardens and springs. as-shuara'(26/128-134)
They had a drought and when they saw incoming clouds, they rejoiced, thinking it was rain coming to bless their dry land.
21. And remember (Hûd) the brother of 'Ad, when he warned his people in Al-Ahqâf (the curved sand-hills in the southern part of Arabian Peninsula). And surely, there have passed away warners before him and after him (saying): "Worship none but Allâh; truly, I fear for you the torment of a mighty Day."
22. They said: "Have you come to turn us away from our âliha (gods)? Then bring us that with which you threaten us, if you are one of the truthful!"
23. He said: "The knowledge (of the time of its coming) is with Allâh only, and I convey to you that wherewith I have been sent, but I see that you are a people given to ignorance!"
24. Then, when they saw it as a dense cloud coming towards their valleys, they said: "This is a cloud bringing us rain!" Nay, but it is that (torment) which you were asking to be hastened! a wind wherein is a painful torment!
25. Destroying everything by the Command of its Lord! So they became such that nothing could be seen except their dwellings! Thus do We recompense the people who are Mujrimûn (polytheists, disbelievers, sinners, etc.)! al-Ahqaf(46/21-26)
They were destroyed by a cold,ravaging,howling wind beating upon them from all directions, rendering them like hollowed palm tree trunks.
13. But if they turn away, then say (O Muhammad SAW): "I have warned you of a Sâ'iqah (a destructive awful cry, torment, hit, a thunderbolt) like the Sâ'iqah which overtook 'Ad and Thamûd (people)." Fussilat (41/13)
15. As for 'Ad, they were arrogant in the land without right, and they said: "Who is mightier than us in strength?" See they not that Allâh, Who created them was mightier in strength than them. And they used to deny Our Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, revelations, etc.)!
16. So We sent upon them furious wind in days of evil omen (for them) that We might give them a taste of disgracing torment in this present worldly life, but surely the torment of the Hereafter will be more disgracing, and they will never be helped. Fussilat(41/15-6)
They built their dwelling in the ahqaf which were turned to mere sand dunes. Had ALlah not told us about them in the Quran we wouldn't have known at all about them. Allah totally wiped them out. The wind that destroyed them slammed them for seven days and eight nights in succession.
21. And remember (Hûd) the brother of 'Ad, when he warned his people in Al-Ahqâf (the curved sand-hills in the southern part of Arabian Peninsula). And surely, there have passed away warners before him and after him (saying): "Worship none but Allâh; truly, I fear for you the torment of a mighty Day." Al-Ahqaf (46/21)
41. And in 'Ad (there is also a sign) when We sent against them the barren wind;
42. It spared nothing that it reached, but blew it into broken spreads of rotten ruins.Az-Zaariyat(51/41-42)
18. 'Ad (people) belied (their Prophet, Hûd), then how (terrible) was My Torment and My Warnings?
19. Verily, We sent against them a furious wind of harsh voice on a day of evil omen and continuous calamity.
20. Plucking out men as if they were uprooted stems of date-palms.
21. Then, how (terrible) was My Torment and My Warnings?
22. And We have indeed made the Qur'ân easy to understand and remember, then is there any that will remember (or receive admonition)?Al-Qamar(54/)
6. And as for 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious violent wind;
7. Which Allâh imposed on them for seven nights and eight days in succession, so that you could see men lying overthrown (destroyed), as if they were hollow trunks of date-palms! Al-Haqqah(69/6-7)
Prophet Salih & The Thamood:
Prophet Salih was a young man from a noble family.They were preparing him to be their leader. Once Salih called them to Allah, they rejected him and asked for a sign to prove that he really was a prophet, so Allah gave them a sign, which was the she-camel that came out of a rock. There were some rules though that they were supposed to follow regarding the camels.
1. They were to let her drink the water and take turns with her.
2. They were not to harm her in any way.
73. And to Thamûd (people, We sent) their brother Sâlih (Saleh). He said: "O my people! Worship Allâh! You have no other Ilâh (God) but Him. (Lâ ilâha ill-Allâh: none has the right to be worshipped but Allâh). Indeed there has come to you a clear sign (the miracle of the coming out of a huge shecamel from the midst of a rock) from your Lord. This shecamel of Allâh is a sign unto you; so you leave her to graze in Allâh's earth, and touch her not with harm, lest a painful torment should seize you.
74. "And remember when He made you successors after 'Ad (people) and gave you habitations in the land, you build for yourselves palaces in plains, and carve out homes in the mountains. So remember the graces (bestowed upon you) from Allâh, and do not go about making mischief on the earth."
75. The leaders of those who were arrogant among his people said to those who were counted weak - to such of them as believed: "Know you that Sâlih (Saleh) is one sent from his Lord." They said: "We indeed believe in that with which he has been sent."
76. Those who were arrogant said: "Verily, we disbelieve in that which you believe in."
77. So they killed the shecamel and insolently defied the Commandment of their Lord, and said: "O Sâlih (Saleh)! Bring about your threats if you are indeed one of the Messengers (of Allâh)."
78. So the earthquake seized them, and they lay (dead), prostrate in their homes.
79. Then he [Sâlih (Saleh)] turned from them, and said: "O my people! I have indeed conveyed to you the Message of my Lord, and have given you good advice but you like not good advisers." Al-A'raf(7/73-79)
11. Thamûd (people) denied (their Prophet) through their transgression (by rejecting the true Faith of Islâmic Monotheism, and by following polytheism, and by committing every kind of sin).
12. When the most wicked man among them went forth (to kill the she-camel).
13. But the Messenger of Allâh [Sâlih (Saleh) <><>] said to them: "Be cautious! Fear the evil end. That is the she-camel of Allâh! (Do not harm it) and bar it not from having its drink!"
14. Then they denied him and they killed it. So their Lord destroyed them because of their sin, and made them equal in destruction (i.e. all grades of people, rich and poor, strong and weak, etc.)!
15. And He (Allâh) feared not the consequences thereof. As-Shams(91/11-15)
61. And to Thamûd (people, We sent) their brother Sâlih (Saleh). He said: "O my people! Worship Allâh, you have no other Ilâh (God) but Him. He brought you forth from the earth and settled you therein, then ask forgiveness of Him and turn to Him in repentance. Certainly, my Lord is Near (to all by His Knowledge), Responsive."
62. They said: "O Sâlih (Saleh)! You have been among us as a figure of good hope (and we wished for you to be our chief), till this [new thing which you have brought; that we leave our gods and worship your God (Allâh) Alone]! Do you (now) forbid us the worship of what our fathers have worshipped? But we are really in grave doubt as to that which you invite us to (monotheism)."
63. He said: "O my people! Tell me, if I have a clear proof from my Lord, and there has come to me a Mercy (Prophethood, etc.) from Him, who then can help me against Allâh, if I were to disobey Him? Then you increase me not but in loss.
64. "And O my people! This she-camel of Allâh is a sign to you, leave her to feed on Allâh's earth, and touch her not with evil, lest a near torment will seize you."
65. But they killed her. So he said: "Enjoy yourselves in your homes for three days. This is a promise (i.e. a threat) that will not be belied."
66. So when Our Commandment came, We saved Sâlih (Saleh) and those who believed with him by a Mercy from Us, and from the disgrace of that Day. Verily, your Lord, He is the All-Strong, the All-Mighty.
67. And As-Saîhah (torment - awful cry, etc.) overtook the wrong-doers, so they lay (dead), prostrate in their homes, -
68. As if they had never lived there. No doubt! Verily, Thamûd disbelieved in their Lord. So away with Thamûd! Hud (11/61-68)
59. And nothing stops Us from sending the Ayât (proofs, evidences, signs) but that the people of old denied them. And We sent the she-camel to Thamûd as a clear sign, but they did her wrong. And We sent not the signs except to warn, and to make them afraid (of destruction).Al-Isra'(17/59)
They carved out their dwellings from the mountainous rocks. They were very skilled architects. They were also blessed with wealth in agriculture like the 'Aad.
9. And (with) Thamûd (people), who cut (hewed) out rocks in the valley (to make dwellings)?Al-Fajr(89/9)
38. And (also) 'Ad and Thamûd, and the dwellers of Ar-Rass, and many generations in between.Al-Furqaan(25/38)
141. Thamûd (people) belied the Messenger.
142. When their brother Sâlih (Saleh) said to them: "Will you not fear Allâh and obey Him?
143. "I am a trustworthy Messenger to you.
144. "So fear Allâh, keep your duty to Him, and obey me.
145. "No reward do I ask of you for it (my Message of Islâmic Monotheism), my reward is only from the Lord of the 'Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists).
146. "Will you be left secure in that which you have here?
147. "In gardens and springs.
148. And green crops (fields etc.) and date-palms with soft spadix.
149. "And you carve houses out of mountains with great skill.
150. "So fear Allâh, keep your duty to Him, and obey me.
151. "And follow not the command of Al-Musrifûn [i.e. their chiefs, leaders who were polytheists, criminals and sinners],
152. "Who make mischief in the land, and reform not."
153. They said: "You are only of those bewitched!
154. "You are but a human being like us. Then bring us a sign if you are of the truthful."
155. He said: "Here is a she-camel; it has a right to drink (water), and you have a right to drink (water) (each) on a day, known.
156. "And touch her not with harm, lest the torment of a Great Day seize you."
157. But they killed her, and then they became regretful.
158. So the torment overtook them. Verily, in this is indeed a sign, yet most of them are not believers.
159. And verily! Your Lord, He is indeed the All-Mighty, the Most Merciful. As-Shuara(26/141-159)
14. When the Messengers came to them, from before them and behind them (saying): "Worship none but Allâh" They said: "If our Lord had so willed, He would surely have sent down the angels. So indeed! We disbelieve in that with which you have been sent." Fussilat(41/14)
17. And as for Thamûd, We showed and made clear to them the Path of Truth (Islâmic Monotheism) through Our Messenger, (i.e. showed them the way of success), but they preferred blindness to guidance, so the Sâ'iqah (a destructive awful cry, torment, hit, a thunderbolt) of disgracing torment seized them, because of what they used to earn. Fussilat(41/17)
43. And in Thamûd (there is also a sign), when they were told: "Enjoy yourselves for a while!"
44. But they insolently defied the Command of their Lord, so the Sâ'iqah[] overtook them while they were looking. az-Zaariyat(51/43-44)
23. Thamûd (people also) belied the warnings.
24. For they said: "A man! Alone from among us, that we are to follow? Truly, then we should be in error and distress or madness!"
25. "Is it that the Reminder is sent to him [Prophet Sâlih (Saleh) <><>] alone from among us? Nay, he is an insolent liar!"
26. Tomorrow they will come to know, who is the liar, the insolent one!
27. Verily, We are sending the she-camel as a test for them. So watch them [O Sâlih (Saleh) <><>], and be patient!
28. And inform them that the water is to be shared between (her and) them. Each one's right to drink being established (by turns).
29. But they called their comrade and he took (a sword) and killed (her).
30. Then, how (terrible) was My Torment and My Warnings?
31. Verily, We sent against them a single Saîhah (torment - awful cry, etc.), and they became like the dry stubble of a fold-builder.al-Qamar(54/18-31)
5. As for Thamûd, they were destroyed by the awful cry! Al-Haqqah(69/5)
But of course they did disobey Allah. Nine men plotted to kill the she camel. When they did reach the camel, they hesitated because it was bigger than the normal camel. Then one man, the most evil one among them went forth and stabbed her in the leg and when she fell they killed her. They then went to Salih and mocked him, asking for the punishment that was promised. Salih said they had 3 days to enjoy themselves. Day 1 passed, then day 2 then day 3. By then they were full of arrogance and mockery, taunting Salih for the promised punishment. On day 4 however, just as promised, the punishment which was an earthquake, probably triggered by the loud cry which could be equivalent to a sound wave that is able to shake the earth, struck them dead.
When we reached the part where the ayah was recited in which the most evil man among them went forth, I asked them,
"Does the ayat sound familiar?"
"No,"
"Yes,"
"What surah is it?" I asked.
"Ummm,"
Silence.
Suddenly, a small voice piped up,
"As-Shams."
She remembers. They went to summer school in 2002 or was it 2003 at Sunrise and had to memorize that Surah for that summer. So every time I picked them up we would recite the surah in the van on the way home to aid their memorization. We actually even did an accordion book on some arabic words from that surah, where I had them write down the word in Arabic and illustrate the particular page with regards to the word. I can still remember a picture of a camel and a dagger probably drawn by N.
So we finally sorted out the similarities and differences between the people of 'Aad and Thamood. I learned something new too, which is the best part of homeschooling. In compiling these ayats on Thamood and 'Aad, I can't help but notice the source of confusion. They are always mentioned together. As for the punishment, it seemed to be very similar too, except that the 'Aad's punishment was mentioned to go on for 7 days and 8 nights, and also the fact that 'Aad was created to be very tall people.
I never learned of these details when i was growing up. My only source of the stories of the prophets was one meager book which I read over and over again.
It was also interesting to note that during the listening session, every once in a while the kids would stop the tape and ask,
"What's noble?"
"What's tyrant?"
"How can a man kill another man?"
"What's a sound wave?"
Friday, October 21, 2005
H and Fasting
H's enthusiasm wasn't as sprightly as his sisters with regards to fasting. He tried it the first day and when he realized that it wasn't as fun as it sounded, he refused to fast the next day. Every night I would ask them,
"Who wants to fast tomorrow?"
Whoever raises their hand or pipes "Me!" would be woken up for suhoor.
After a while it seemed that H refused to fast almost every day and I started to think that maybe I should coax him gently into it without letting him off the hook that easily. So I told him that he can fast some days and not fast on others. He agreed.
yesterday at 2 pm he came crawling to my room. I asked him,
"What's up?" already knowing the answer, and he replied,
"I'm hungry."
"Well, you can tahan or you can break your fast. It's up to you," thinking that maybe he would hold it out till the end.
When I got downstairs, he was happily chomping into a cookie.
"Did you break your fast?"
"Yeah," he said rather jauntily.
"Eat some dates," I said.
Today, I coaxed him to fast again and told him that he can do half or 3/4 day if he wants. He agreed. 4 pm today, he was still fasting, sitting on the couch watching TV. I went up to him, hugged him and commended him on keeping his fast, all the while saying,
"Allah will be so pleased, and will give you lots of reward."
I went back upstairs. A while later he came up to my bed and I asked him,
"What's up?"
"I'm hungry," was his reply, as expected.
"Well, you can break your fast or you can tahan. It's up to you," I said, caressing his weary face.
"But I want Allah's reward," he said, sending jitters up my spine. Jitters of joy.
"Well, let's see. You have two more hours till iftar time. Maybe you can sleep. That way you won't feel that hungry," I suggested.
"But I need a warm blanket to sleep," he said.
I almost broke out laughing, but abstained from even smiling, as he would probably get mad if i did.
"Do we have warm blankets downstairs?" I asked.
"Yes," he nodded and proceeded to go downstairs like a good little boy.
Ahhh.......H and fasting.
"Who wants to fast tomorrow?"
Whoever raises their hand or pipes "Me!" would be woken up for suhoor.
After a while it seemed that H refused to fast almost every day and I started to think that maybe I should coax him gently into it without letting him off the hook that easily. So I told him that he can fast some days and not fast on others. He agreed.
yesterday at 2 pm he came crawling to my room. I asked him,
"What's up?" already knowing the answer, and he replied,
"I'm hungry."
"Well, you can tahan or you can break your fast. It's up to you," thinking that maybe he would hold it out till the end.
When I got downstairs, he was happily chomping into a cookie.
"Did you break your fast?"
"Yeah," he said rather jauntily.
"Eat some dates," I said.
Today, I coaxed him to fast again and told him that he can do half or 3/4 day if he wants. He agreed. 4 pm today, he was still fasting, sitting on the couch watching TV. I went up to him, hugged him and commended him on keeping his fast, all the while saying,
"Allah will be so pleased, and will give you lots of reward."
I went back upstairs. A while later he came up to my bed and I asked him,
"What's up?"
"I'm hungry," was his reply, as expected.
"Well, you can break your fast or you can tahan. It's up to you," I said, caressing his weary face.
"But I want Allah's reward," he said, sending jitters up my spine. Jitters of joy.
"Well, let's see. You have two more hours till iftar time. Maybe you can sleep. That way you won't feel that hungry," I suggested.
"But I need a warm blanket to sleep," he said.
I almost broke out laughing, but abstained from even smiling, as he would probably get mad if i did.
"Do we have warm blankets downstairs?" I asked.
"Yes," he nodded and proceeded to go downstairs like a good little boy.
Ahhh.......H and fasting.
Hijab, Make Up and Girls
I think I may have donw something wrong with my girls. They are now crazy over wearing hijab to the point that N doesn't even want to take hers off hours after we get home. I've been toying with this rectangular hijab Mummy gave me recently. As of yet, I still don't have the courage to wear it outside, for fear of it slipping off and me panicking to no end.
However, I do conduct my little experiments at home, which is simply standing in front of the mirror (which by the way is covered with grubby little hand and finger prints aside from dried littly boy spittle coming from the incessant chattering of H)and wrapping that green flimsy piece of cloth around my head while assessing how big my face looks and how I would like it if my face were more oblong.
Yet, everytime I delve into my little experiments, I am always compelled to add a touch of lipstick and a smear of kuhl. I don't know what it is but it's appearing to me like this little charade I do in front of the mirror every now and then is becoming like a little in house play. I don't put on kuhl going out of the house, let alone make up. So when I do 'dress up', it gives the kids something amusing to look at, it seems like.
"Ummi, you look pretty!"
"Ummi, you look younger!" Uh oh!
Then comes the question,
"Ummi, how do you put that black thing on our eyes?"
"Ummi, can you put it on me now?"
That is all well since I suppose all girls go through that stage where their vanity overtakes them. But as I was recounting our little posing session in front of the mirror to F, I found myself saying to him,
"You know, notice how the girls insist that their hijab is pointed? They like wearing the hijab now and I think my current obsession with that green piece of hijab is giving them ideas on how appealing hijab can actually be."
He was lying in bed smothered by the duvet, trying to fall asleep, while I chattered on in the dark as I got ready to get in bed, when I heard myself, and immediately I went,
"Uh oh! What have I done???"
All my 'why we do it- for Allah' is being swept aside for the deceiving reasons we do what we do. Am I teaching them to wear hijab because it's appealing?
I see N glued in front of the mirror with her cute little blue Amira hijab, shaped so it's pointed, enhancing her chubby cheeks gloriously. I see her staring at herself, smiling, making faces and most disturbingly, refusing to pull herself away from the mirror and even more disturbingly, trying to change into her pajamas with her hijab intact!
S tells me,
"I want to have it pointed too."
Worse yet, I hear myself saying,
"You want it pointed too? Let me tell you a secret. First, you...."
She's only eight, and the conversation sounds like I'm talking to a teenager.
Few days ago, we went to the library. To my utmost surprise, the girls grabbed their hijabs and we drove to the library, hijabed mommy with two little behijabbed girls in tow, of course with little chatterbox H skipping away, mouth churning out what only he understood.
So far, the girls have put on their hijabs whenever we go to collective iftars. I tell them to put on something long and they immediately put on their hijabs. I know this should make me feel good, but it doesn't.
I don't want them growing up doing something just because they were taught to, without knowing the reason why. I don't want them growing up like so many raised Muslims, myself highlighted.
But, I guess, it is then my job, my responsibility screaming at me in the face,
"IT'S YOUR JOB TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND WHY!"
I have my job laid out for me now. I don't think I can drill the reason in them and hope that will do what they do because of all the right reasons right off the bat, but I do pray that even if their initial intention is somewhat off, that my constant drilling will prevail in the end to remind them the real reason why we do what we do.
As for my flimsy green Wardina-style hijab, I might, might just have the courage to start wearing it outside the house after I get the inner part of the head scarf. It would do wonders in spring and summer when the naughty wind wishes to de-hijab you by tugging at the tail of your Turkish hijab and boldly flips it over your head, rendering you a Muslim woman with hijab all over her face and hair hanging out behind her head.
However, I do conduct my little experiments at home, which is simply standing in front of the mirror (which by the way is covered with grubby little hand and finger prints aside from dried littly boy spittle coming from the incessant chattering of H)and wrapping that green flimsy piece of cloth around my head while assessing how big my face looks and how I would like it if my face were more oblong.
Yet, everytime I delve into my little experiments, I am always compelled to add a touch of lipstick and a smear of kuhl. I don't know what it is but it's appearing to me like this little charade I do in front of the mirror every now and then is becoming like a little in house play. I don't put on kuhl going out of the house, let alone make up. So when I do 'dress up', it gives the kids something amusing to look at, it seems like.
"Ummi, you look pretty!"
"Ummi, you look younger!" Uh oh!
Then comes the question,
"Ummi, how do you put that black thing on our eyes?"
"Ummi, can you put it on me now?"
That is all well since I suppose all girls go through that stage where their vanity overtakes them. But as I was recounting our little posing session in front of the mirror to F, I found myself saying to him,
"You know, notice how the girls insist that their hijab is pointed? They like wearing the hijab now and I think my current obsession with that green piece of hijab is giving them ideas on how appealing hijab can actually be."
He was lying in bed smothered by the duvet, trying to fall asleep, while I chattered on in the dark as I got ready to get in bed, when I heard myself, and immediately I went,
"Uh oh! What have I done???"
All my 'why we do it- for Allah' is being swept aside for the deceiving reasons we do what we do. Am I teaching them to wear hijab because it's appealing?
I see N glued in front of the mirror with her cute little blue Amira hijab, shaped so it's pointed, enhancing her chubby cheeks gloriously. I see her staring at herself, smiling, making faces and most disturbingly, refusing to pull herself away from the mirror and even more disturbingly, trying to change into her pajamas with her hijab intact!
S tells me,
"I want to have it pointed too."
Worse yet, I hear myself saying,
"You want it pointed too? Let me tell you a secret. First, you...."
She's only eight, and the conversation sounds like I'm talking to a teenager.
Few days ago, we went to the library. To my utmost surprise, the girls grabbed their hijabs and we drove to the library, hijabed mommy with two little behijabbed girls in tow, of course with little chatterbox H skipping away, mouth churning out what only he understood.
So far, the girls have put on their hijabs whenever we go to collective iftars. I tell them to put on something long and they immediately put on their hijabs. I know this should make me feel good, but it doesn't.
I don't want them growing up doing something just because they were taught to, without knowing the reason why. I don't want them growing up like so many raised Muslims, myself highlighted.
But, I guess, it is then my job, my responsibility screaming at me in the face,
"IT'S YOUR JOB TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND WHY!"
I have my job laid out for me now. I don't think I can drill the reason in them and hope that will do what they do because of all the right reasons right off the bat, but I do pray that even if their initial intention is somewhat off, that my constant drilling will prevail in the end to remind them the real reason why we do what we do.
As for my flimsy green Wardina-style hijab, I might, might just have the courage to start wearing it outside the house after I get the inner part of the head scarf. It would do wonders in spring and summer when the naughty wind wishes to de-hijab you by tugging at the tail of your Turkish hijab and boldly flips it over your head, rendering you a Muslim woman with hijab all over her face and hair hanging out behind her head.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Parenting
Ramadan is not all about abstaining from eating and drinking, yet probably, for most of us, it is.
Surah Albaqarah (2/183)
183. O you who believe! Observing As-Saum (the fasting)[] is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqûn (the pious - see V.2:2).
When we teach our children about fasting, we tend to want to make it easy for them. The most common way of making them see what Ramadah is all about is to say that we fast so we can feel how the poor feel when they have no food. The approach is not all bad, but in doing so, we are abandoning the main reason why we are commanded to fast.
Muttaqun. To be of the muttaqun. That's the reason. if the reason for fasting is so that we can feel how the poor feel, it doesn't make our fasting any different from that of the Christians, Jews or even atheists. They can fast and claim that they want to empathize with the poor and they would indeed technically be fasting.
Yet for us, it's important to differentiate the exact reason of fasting as mentioned by Allah. And it's equally important for us to deliver this reason to our children.
We see instances of parents with children who fast a full Ramadan every year, but those same children don't pray regularly. Why? Probably because the fasting is merely abstaining from drinking and eating. Mahatma Gandhi can do it, in fact, they can even fast non stop, which can prove to be a tougher feat to execute as it boils down to physical stamina. Our fasting is not a test of physical stamina only. It's more a test of spiritual stamina to be exact. That is why fasting is one act of worship that can't be done by hypocrites for reasons of hypocrisy.
Abû Hurayrah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah says: ‘Every deed of the child of Adam is for himself, except for fasting. It is for Me and I shall reward it.’ Fasting is a shield, so if it is a day of fasting for any one of you, then he should engage in no obscenity or shouting. If anyone belittles him or fights with him, he should just say ‘I am a person who is fasting’. I swear by Him in whose hand is Muhammad’s soul, the smell of the fasting person’s breath is sweeter to Allah on the Day of Judgment than that of musk. The fasting person has two occasions for joy, one when he breaks his fast because of his breaking it and the other when he meets his Lord because of the reward for his fast.”
[Sahîh al-Bukhârî (7492) and Sahîh Muslim (1151) with the wording being that of Muslim]
I have overheard a conversation of a convert among some Muslim sisters,
"I never met any Muslims on campus before and when i did I was so excited. I asked them why they fast in Ramadan and they said, "So we can feel what the poor people feel," and I was like...wha? huh? that's it??"
When I overheard that conversation, it struck me really deep because I would probably have given the same answer years ago if people were to ask me that same question. At first I couldn't understand why she wasn't satisfied with that answer, but as I looked at the ayat commanding us to fast, it dawned on me the exact reason why we are commanded to fast.
I'm fortunate that i realized that while my children are still young, so I can teach them. ALhamdulillah. Parenting is in essence a deep scrutiny of ourselves. Only in being a parent would one realize how shallow his knowledge is and how incompetent he is. Nothing else can make you feel more inferior than being a parent.
Yet, Allah doesn't give us a burden we are not able to bear, so that must mean that bestowed the gift of being a parent entails more than simply raising a child.
Surah al-Baqarah(2/286) 286. Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. "Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us (Jews and Christians); our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maulâ (Patron, Suppor-ter and Protector, etc.) and give us victory over the disbelieving people.[]"
It's actually a drive for us to better ourselves as human beings, as Mukmins. If we really care about the well being of our children here and in the hereafter, we would strive to equip ourselves with the knowledge we are responsible for imparting on them. Even if we send them to Islamic schools and what nots, it is still our responsibility to seek knowledge, if not as parents, then as Muslims. The teachers at schools can only do so much. it's the environment at home, the parents who are actually at the helm of the ship that carries the future generation. it's the parents who are the one responsible in navigating that very ship on the right path and make sure they don't lose their children to the sharks. However, it must also be kept in mind that children are a test.
Surah at-Taghaboon (64/15) 15. Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allâh! With Him is a great reward (Paradise).
We shouldn't beat ourselves up over how much we can do for our children. It can very well be the case that we do almost everything right yet our children turn out to be otherwise, nauzubillah. Though it's true that parents shape their children's values, it is also the fact that Allah is the final determinant. Our prophet Nuh's son was one of the drowned disbelievers. Being a pious parent doesn't necessarily guarantee churning out pious children. Sometimes the children will undergo a period of rebellion and will later go back to their pure fitrah. We as parents, can only do our best and by that I mean REALLY asessing what we should do. And it's also the case for the opposite: impious parents doesn't necessarily mean impious children. I have known a lot of good Muslims coming from impious backgrounds, and converts are sound proofs for that too.
Guidance only come from Allah and that is what we should always be asking for.
Ya muqallibal quloob, thabbit qalbee 'alaa deenik.
Surah Albaqarah (2/183)
183. O you who believe! Observing As-Saum (the fasting)[] is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqûn (the pious - see V.2:2).
When we teach our children about fasting, we tend to want to make it easy for them. The most common way of making them see what Ramadah is all about is to say that we fast so we can feel how the poor feel when they have no food. The approach is not all bad, but in doing so, we are abandoning the main reason why we are commanded to fast.
Muttaqun. To be of the muttaqun. That's the reason. if the reason for fasting is so that we can feel how the poor feel, it doesn't make our fasting any different from that of the Christians, Jews or even atheists. They can fast and claim that they want to empathize with the poor and they would indeed technically be fasting.
Yet for us, it's important to differentiate the exact reason of fasting as mentioned by Allah. And it's equally important for us to deliver this reason to our children.
We see instances of parents with children who fast a full Ramadan every year, but those same children don't pray regularly. Why? Probably because the fasting is merely abstaining from drinking and eating. Mahatma Gandhi can do it, in fact, they can even fast non stop, which can prove to be a tougher feat to execute as it boils down to physical stamina. Our fasting is not a test of physical stamina only. It's more a test of spiritual stamina to be exact. That is why fasting is one act of worship that can't be done by hypocrites for reasons of hypocrisy.
Abû Hurayrah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah says: ‘Every deed of the child of Adam is for himself, except for fasting. It is for Me and I shall reward it.’ Fasting is a shield, so if it is a day of fasting for any one of you, then he should engage in no obscenity or shouting. If anyone belittles him or fights with him, he should just say ‘I am a person who is fasting’. I swear by Him in whose hand is Muhammad’s soul, the smell of the fasting person’s breath is sweeter to Allah on the Day of Judgment than that of musk. The fasting person has two occasions for joy, one when he breaks his fast because of his breaking it and the other when he meets his Lord because of the reward for his fast.”
[Sahîh al-Bukhârî (7492) and Sahîh Muslim (1151) with the wording being that of Muslim]
I have overheard a conversation of a convert among some Muslim sisters,
"I never met any Muslims on campus before and when i did I was so excited. I asked them why they fast in Ramadan and they said, "So we can feel what the poor people feel," and I was like...wha? huh? that's it??"
When I overheard that conversation, it struck me really deep because I would probably have given the same answer years ago if people were to ask me that same question. At first I couldn't understand why she wasn't satisfied with that answer, but as I looked at the ayat commanding us to fast, it dawned on me the exact reason why we are commanded to fast.
I'm fortunate that i realized that while my children are still young, so I can teach them. ALhamdulillah. Parenting is in essence a deep scrutiny of ourselves. Only in being a parent would one realize how shallow his knowledge is and how incompetent he is. Nothing else can make you feel more inferior than being a parent.
Yet, Allah doesn't give us a burden we are not able to bear, so that must mean that bestowed the gift of being a parent entails more than simply raising a child.
Surah al-Baqarah(2/286) 286. Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. "Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us (Jews and Christians); our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maulâ (Patron, Suppor-ter and Protector, etc.) and give us victory over the disbelieving people.[]"
It's actually a drive for us to better ourselves as human beings, as Mukmins. If we really care about the well being of our children here and in the hereafter, we would strive to equip ourselves with the knowledge we are responsible for imparting on them. Even if we send them to Islamic schools and what nots, it is still our responsibility to seek knowledge, if not as parents, then as Muslims. The teachers at schools can only do so much. it's the environment at home, the parents who are actually at the helm of the ship that carries the future generation. it's the parents who are the one responsible in navigating that very ship on the right path and make sure they don't lose their children to the sharks. However, it must also be kept in mind that children are a test.
Surah at-Taghaboon (64/15) 15. Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allâh! With Him is a great reward (Paradise).
We shouldn't beat ourselves up over how much we can do for our children. It can very well be the case that we do almost everything right yet our children turn out to be otherwise, nauzubillah. Though it's true that parents shape their children's values, it is also the fact that Allah is the final determinant. Our prophet Nuh's son was one of the drowned disbelievers. Being a pious parent doesn't necessarily guarantee churning out pious children. Sometimes the children will undergo a period of rebellion and will later go back to their pure fitrah. We as parents, can only do our best and by that I mean REALLY asessing what we should do. And it's also the case for the opposite: impious parents doesn't necessarily mean impious children. I have known a lot of good Muslims coming from impious backgrounds, and converts are sound proofs for that too.
Guidance only come from Allah and that is what we should always be asking for.
Ya muqallibal quloob, thabbit qalbee 'alaa deenik.
Men are protectors of women...
We were driving back home from the library when we reached the corner of Fishinger and Kenny. I didn't hit the brakes as I assessed the speed to be slow enough for me to make a right turn. Apparently, my assessment was erroneous as we somewhat skidded, sending the kids jostling in their seats with their seat belts strapped on.
"Ouch!"
Giggles and chortles broke out behind me as the kids recovered from the sudden turn.
"Oops..sorry!" I said, wondering if I had broken any bones. Since they were still giggling helplessly, I guess not.
"Abi's a safer driver," said S.
"Why?" I asked her.
"Because he stops," she said.
I couldn't help but smile, at the same time berating myself for my bad driving skills.
"That's why men keep care of women," N chimed in.
The fact that she used the word 'keep' escaped me as the bigger implication took hold over me. She remembers! So I asked her,
"Where'd you hear that?"
"You said it! You ALWAYS forget what you say," S said, voicing her amusement and exasperation with my forgetfulness.
Time for a lesson:
"When I say something, don't just take it like that, especially if I say something about Islam. You have to ask me where i got it from. Is is from the Quran, or from hadeeth. Because I can just lie to you and say something that is not true."
"Ok, where'd you get that from?" S asked me.
"From the Quran," I replied.
"So we were right," she said.
"Yes, but that's not the point. You don't just accept anything people say if they don't say where they got it from. Understand?"
She nodded.
The whole thing still leaves me feeling wonder and appreciation for those little minds in their heads. I had mentioned to them the ayat in Surah an-Nisa in passing. I never thought they even paid any attention and lo and behold, I received the surprise of my life!
Never....NEVER underestimate the intelligence of children!
An-Nisa(4/34)
34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great.
"Ouch!"
Giggles and chortles broke out behind me as the kids recovered from the sudden turn.
"Oops..sorry!" I said, wondering if I had broken any bones. Since they were still giggling helplessly, I guess not.
"Abi's a safer driver," said S.
"Why?" I asked her.
"Because he stops," she said.
I couldn't help but smile, at the same time berating myself for my bad driving skills.
"That's why men keep care of women," N chimed in.
The fact that she used the word 'keep' escaped me as the bigger implication took hold over me. She remembers! So I asked her,
"Where'd you hear that?"
"You said it! You ALWAYS forget what you say," S said, voicing her amusement and exasperation with my forgetfulness.
Time for a lesson:
"When I say something, don't just take it like that, especially if I say something about Islam. You have to ask me where i got it from. Is is from the Quran, or from hadeeth. Because I can just lie to you and say something that is not true."
"Ok, where'd you get that from?" S asked me.
"From the Quran," I replied.
"So we were right," she said.
"Yes, but that's not the point. You don't just accept anything people say if they don't say where they got it from. Understand?"
She nodded.
The whole thing still leaves me feeling wonder and appreciation for those little minds in their heads. I had mentioned to them the ayat in Surah an-Nisa in passing. I never thought they even paid any attention and lo and behold, I received the surprise of my life!
Never....NEVER underestimate the intelligence of children!
An-Nisa(4/34)
34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Ramadan Chain and Crossword Puzzle
Our Ramadan chain, which we started about two or three years ago, has continued to be our annual Ramadan activity. The first time I did it for the kids, I wasn't content to just follow instructions. Instead I modified it and added a twist to the original idea. I wrote a letter per strip of chain which later spelled out Eid Mubarak as we took one chain out every time. As we took one chain out, we stuck it to the wall going down the stairs, so by Eid day, we had strips of paper spelling out Eid Mubarak three times over. The second year, I did further improvisations. I made the chain into clues for a Ramadan crossword puzzle. On each strip of chain, I wrote down clues, 15 across and 15 down. So as we took one chain out each day, we filled in our crossword puzzle. it's a good lesson opportunity for the kids each day as they try to figure out the answer for the clues.
We worked on the puzzle and chain before Ramadan, thus giving us ample time to put the chain up the nights before. The top of the stairs is a perfect place to hang the chain because we would be reminded to take one chain down each night. The kids' jobs were to cut the strips of contruction paper and decorate the crossword puzzle. Last year was the first year I made the crossword puzzle. This year, I made flaps for windows for the kite and the triangle in the cloud.The Ramadan fasting chart I made last year didn't really work out because we forgot to fill it every day. So this year, I pasted them all on the posterboard and hung it at the top of the stairs so they would remember to color in how much they fasted in a day.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Pit Stop
I decided to venture out and stumbled upon this:The Two Frogs.
A group of frogs were travelling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
I read the story out loud to the kids, and at the end of it I asked,
"So what lesson can we learn from this story?"
With all the cheekiness of a five year old, H replied,
"Don't fall into a pit!"
S immediately piped,
"Hey, if he's deaf, how can he hear what they were saying when he got out of the pit?"
A group of frogs were travelling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
I read the story out loud to the kids, and at the end of it I asked,
"So what lesson can we learn from this story?"
With all the cheekiness of a five year old, H replied,
"Don't fall into a pit!"
S immediately piped,
"Hey, if he's deaf, how can he hear what they were saying when he got out of the pit?"
Prophet Adam Alaihis Salam
Monday, Oct 10. Resume schooling. We started with listening to the Lives of the Prophets again. Continuing on Adam. Last time, it ended with Adam going to the angels to give salam.
Then he went back to the part where the angels had questioned why Allah wanted to create a creature that would just make corruption and bloodshed on earth while He already have the angels worshipping and praising Him.
So ALlah made a test for the angels. Allah put some objects in front of them and asked them to name them. They couldn't. Then Allah made the same test for Adam. He passed.
Surah al Baqarah:
30. And (remember) when your Lord said to the angels: "Verily, I am going to place (mankind) generations after generations on earth." They said: "Will You place therein those who will make mischief therein and shed blood, - while we glorify You with praises and thanks (Exalted be You above all that they associate with You as partners) and sanctify You." He (Allâh) said: "I know that which you do not know."
31. And He taught Adam all the names (of everything) [], then He showed them to the angels and said, "Tell Me the names of these if you are truthful."
32. They (angels) said: "Glory be to You, we have no knowledge except what you have taught us. Verily, it is You, the All-Knower, the All-Wise."
33. He said: "O Adam! Inform them of their names," and when he had informed them of their names, He said: "Did I not tell you that I know the Ghaib (unseen) in the heavens and the earth, and I know what you reveal and what you have been concealing?"
There is a lesson in this, interestingly. Here, it is depicted that the angels questioned Allah's decision to put human beings on earth. One that I just extracted is that it was in Allah's plan all along to place Adam on earth. So he wasn't shunned to earth in total disgrace as is generally thought by probably the Christians. In fact Allah taught him a dua to say and Allah forgave him. When the dua was recited, it actually almost drove me to tears, since I could understand like maybe 90% of it before it was translated.
Another lesson is, we do the same thing that the angels did. We sometimes question why things happen. For example, "Why did Allah take my child away from me?" "Why did God let the human suffer so?" "Why didn't the weatehr forecasters do a better job?"
In the world we are living in now, we are getting to be more and more self sufficient, which is in the end a detrimental factor to our well being faith wise. As we get more self sufficient, we tend to forget that in the end, it's all in the Hands of Allah. For one, when we question why and why such things happen, we are not totally relying on Qadr. Everything that happens has a wisdom lurking behind it. We may not see it, but Allah does.
Just last night I was reading surah Al-An 'am where it says that no vision can grasp Allah, but Allah can grasp the vision.
Surah Al-An'aam
103. No vision can grasp Him, but His Grasp is over all vision. He is the Most Subtle and Courteous, WellAcquainted with all things.
We cannot, our sight cannot capture even one slight essence of ALlah, as what happened to prophet Musa. He had asked to see Allah and Allah just showed a very little part of him when Musa fainted. Sometimes, we humans are fooled by our perceived sense of intelligence that we deem ourselves equipped with the ability to think of Allah in all his attributes and wisdom. That's where we got the polytheists from, the ancient Greek Gods, even Jesus as God. The human mind cannot and will never be capable of thinking of Allah or even come close to it that the closest we can come to is to attribute human qualities or even animals such as in Hinduism to a a deity. Astaghfirullah.
Such is the arrogance of man.
Then the tape went on about Adam being created from one nafs. Nafs wahidah. And Allah then created Hawwa from his ribs...and of course then the famous hadith:
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 114:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women."
If this hadith is understood, problems between men and women would be greatly solved.
Surah al-Baqarah
35. And We said: "O Adam! Dwell you and your wife in the Paradise and eat both of you freely with pleasure and delight of things therein as wherever you will, but come not near this tree or you both will be of the Zâlimûn (wrong-doers)."
The problem with humans is that we tend to delve into things that do not benefit us such as asking what kind of tree it was that was mentioned. Apple, banana, papaya? Trying to get a botanical trivia out of it. There is a reason why Allah didn't mention it: because it's the kind of knowledge that wouldn't benefit us. It's just like in the story of people of the cave in Surah Al-Kahf. People wondered about the dog blocking the entrance. They wondered what color it was, what kind of dog it was. So, even if they do, what good would that do? The purpose of these stories is for ibrah: for us to reflect and ponder on. They are not for historical purposes per se, hence the focus is less on facts and more on generalized recountings, but the lesson should be extracted from the stories.
Surah al-Baqarah
36. Then the Shaitân (Satan) made them slip therefrom (the Paradise), and got them out from that in which they were. We said: "Get you down, all, with enmity between yourselves. On earth will be a dwelling place for you and an enjoyment for a time."
Shaytaan here knew how to handle a human being. He didn't say "Go disobey Allah" or Go commit Haram," rather he tricked Adam by saying that the tree would give him eternal life. And here we again question, how come, Adam, a prophet can commit such a mistake? What we should be pondering on is how WE can commit sins when we have heard of the consequences, the stories recounting people who commit those sins, the trickery of Shaytaan. Adam was warned that Shaytaan was his enemy, but he didn't have any experience of being tricked by Shaytaan yet. It was an innocent mistake on his part. The mistake was also in preparation for him to be a khalifah on earth for he was to be a prophet. To undertake such a mission requires one to commit mistakes and learn from them, just like it was with prophet Dawud.
Surah al-Baqarah
37. Then Adam received from his Lord Words []. And his Lord pardoned him (accepted his repentance). Verily, He is the One Who forgives (accepts repentance), the Most Merciful.
[]
Surah al-A'raaf
23. They said: "Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us not, and bestow not upon us Your Mercy, we shall certainly be of the losers."
"Rabbana zalamna anfusana, wa in lam taghfir lana wa tarhamna la-nakunanna minal-khaasirin."
"Our Lord! we have been unjust to ourselves, and if Thou forgive us not, and have (not) mercy on us, we shall certainly be of the losers." (7:23)
From this verse we can reflect that WE are in real need of Allah, not the other way around. When we worship Allah, Allah doesn't get anything from it, but we do. Some humans can be so arrogant as to think that they are actually doing a favor by embracing Islam like here:
Surah al-Hujuraat
17. They regard as favour upon you (O Muhammad SAW) that they have embraced Islâm. Say: "Count not your Islâm as a favour upon me. Nay, but Allâh has conferred a favour upon you, that He has guided you to the Faith, if you indeed are true.
Surah al-Baqarah
38. We said: "Get down all of you from this place (the Paradise), then whenever there comes to you Guidance from Me, and whoever follows My Guidance, there shall be no fear on them, nor shall they grieve.
Here the plural: ihbittu is used instead of the dual. Some mufassireen say that it refers to Adam, Hawwaa and all of us who are sent down to earth. It was also my understanding before that it was plural because it included Iblis, but Allahu alim.
Very early back when Adam was just created, Allah rubbed his back and all his descendants fell off. Adam saw one with light between his eyes and asked Allah who that was. Allah said that it was Daud. Adam took an extreme liking to him and said to Allah that He can take 40 years of his life and give it to Daud. Allah reconfirmed it and so the deal was sealed. Adam was supposed to live for a 1000 years. When his age reached 960 years old, the angels came to ask permission to take his soul. Adam was shocked and said that he still has 40 years more to live. When the angels reminded him of his promise, he denied it. Here, Adam simply forgot about his promise, which is human nature: we forget.
Then Adam submitted and the angels washed him, dug his grave and buried him.
I couldn't find this hadith and kept coming up with websites that actually belittles (quite an understatement) Islam and everything about it. So if anyone reading this comes across this hadith, please inform me.
Then he went back to the part where the angels had questioned why Allah wanted to create a creature that would just make corruption and bloodshed on earth while He already have the angels worshipping and praising Him.
So ALlah made a test for the angels. Allah put some objects in front of them and asked them to name them. They couldn't. Then Allah made the same test for Adam. He passed.
Surah al Baqarah:
30. And (remember) when your Lord said to the angels: "Verily, I am going to place (mankind) generations after generations on earth." They said: "Will You place therein those who will make mischief therein and shed blood, - while we glorify You with praises and thanks (Exalted be You above all that they associate with You as partners) and sanctify You." He (Allâh) said: "I know that which you do not know."
31. And He taught Adam all the names (of everything) [], then He showed them to the angels and said, "Tell Me the names of these if you are truthful."
32. They (angels) said: "Glory be to You, we have no knowledge except what you have taught us. Verily, it is You, the All-Knower, the All-Wise."
33. He said: "O Adam! Inform them of their names," and when he had informed them of their names, He said: "Did I not tell you that I know the Ghaib (unseen) in the heavens and the earth, and I know what you reveal and what you have been concealing?"
There is a lesson in this, interestingly. Here, it is depicted that the angels questioned Allah's decision to put human beings on earth. One that I just extracted is that it was in Allah's plan all along to place Adam on earth. So he wasn't shunned to earth in total disgrace as is generally thought by probably the Christians. In fact Allah taught him a dua to say and Allah forgave him. When the dua was recited, it actually almost drove me to tears, since I could understand like maybe 90% of it before it was translated.
Another lesson is, we do the same thing that the angels did. We sometimes question why things happen. For example, "Why did Allah take my child away from me?" "Why did God let the human suffer so?" "Why didn't the weatehr forecasters do a better job?"
In the world we are living in now, we are getting to be more and more self sufficient, which is in the end a detrimental factor to our well being faith wise. As we get more self sufficient, we tend to forget that in the end, it's all in the Hands of Allah. For one, when we question why and why such things happen, we are not totally relying on Qadr. Everything that happens has a wisdom lurking behind it. We may not see it, but Allah does.
Just last night I was reading surah Al-An 'am where it says that no vision can grasp Allah, but Allah can grasp the vision.
Surah Al-An'aam
103. No vision can grasp Him, but His Grasp is over all vision. He is the Most Subtle and Courteous, WellAcquainted with all things.
We cannot, our sight cannot capture even one slight essence of ALlah, as what happened to prophet Musa. He had asked to see Allah and Allah just showed a very little part of him when Musa fainted. Sometimes, we humans are fooled by our perceived sense of intelligence that we deem ourselves equipped with the ability to think of Allah in all his attributes and wisdom. That's where we got the polytheists from, the ancient Greek Gods, even Jesus as God. The human mind cannot and will never be capable of thinking of Allah or even come close to it that the closest we can come to is to attribute human qualities or even animals such as in Hinduism to a a deity. Astaghfirullah.
Such is the arrogance of man.
Then the tape went on about Adam being created from one nafs. Nafs wahidah. And Allah then created Hawwa from his ribs...and of course then the famous hadith:
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 114:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women."
If this hadith is understood, problems between men and women would be greatly solved.
Surah al-Baqarah
35. And We said: "O Adam! Dwell you and your wife in the Paradise and eat both of you freely with pleasure and delight of things therein as wherever you will, but come not near this tree or you both will be of the Zâlimûn (wrong-doers)."
The problem with humans is that we tend to delve into things that do not benefit us such as asking what kind of tree it was that was mentioned. Apple, banana, papaya? Trying to get a botanical trivia out of it. There is a reason why Allah didn't mention it: because it's the kind of knowledge that wouldn't benefit us. It's just like in the story of people of the cave in Surah Al-Kahf. People wondered about the dog blocking the entrance. They wondered what color it was, what kind of dog it was. So, even if they do, what good would that do? The purpose of these stories is for ibrah: for us to reflect and ponder on. They are not for historical purposes per se, hence the focus is less on facts and more on generalized recountings, but the lesson should be extracted from the stories.
Surah al-Baqarah
36. Then the Shaitân (Satan) made them slip therefrom (the Paradise), and got them out from that in which they were. We said: "Get you down, all, with enmity between yourselves. On earth will be a dwelling place for you and an enjoyment for a time."
Shaytaan here knew how to handle a human being. He didn't say "Go disobey Allah" or Go commit Haram," rather he tricked Adam by saying that the tree would give him eternal life. And here we again question, how come, Adam, a prophet can commit such a mistake? What we should be pondering on is how WE can commit sins when we have heard of the consequences, the stories recounting people who commit those sins, the trickery of Shaytaan. Adam was warned that Shaytaan was his enemy, but he didn't have any experience of being tricked by Shaytaan yet. It was an innocent mistake on his part. The mistake was also in preparation for him to be a khalifah on earth for he was to be a prophet. To undertake such a mission requires one to commit mistakes and learn from them, just like it was with prophet Dawud.
Surah al-Baqarah
37. Then Adam received from his Lord Words []. And his Lord pardoned him (accepted his repentance). Verily, He is the One Who forgives (accepts repentance), the Most Merciful.
[]
Surah al-A'raaf
23. They said: "Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us not, and bestow not upon us Your Mercy, we shall certainly be of the losers."
"Rabbana zalamna anfusana, wa in lam taghfir lana wa tarhamna la-nakunanna minal-khaasirin."
"Our Lord! we have been unjust to ourselves, and if Thou forgive us not, and have (not) mercy on us, we shall certainly be of the losers." (7:23)
From this verse we can reflect that WE are in real need of Allah, not the other way around. When we worship Allah, Allah doesn't get anything from it, but we do. Some humans can be so arrogant as to think that they are actually doing a favor by embracing Islam like here:
Surah al-Hujuraat
17. They regard as favour upon you (O Muhammad SAW) that they have embraced Islâm. Say: "Count not your Islâm as a favour upon me. Nay, but Allâh has conferred a favour upon you, that He has guided you to the Faith, if you indeed are true.
Surah al-Baqarah
38. We said: "Get down all of you from this place (the Paradise), then whenever there comes to you Guidance from Me, and whoever follows My Guidance, there shall be no fear on them, nor shall they grieve.
Here the plural: ihbittu is used instead of the dual. Some mufassireen say that it refers to Adam, Hawwaa and all of us who are sent down to earth. It was also my understanding before that it was plural because it included Iblis, but Allahu alim.
Very early back when Adam was just created, Allah rubbed his back and all his descendants fell off. Adam saw one with light between his eyes and asked Allah who that was. Allah said that it was Daud. Adam took an extreme liking to him and said to Allah that He can take 40 years of his life and give it to Daud. Allah reconfirmed it and so the deal was sealed. Adam was supposed to live for a 1000 years. When his age reached 960 years old, the angels came to ask permission to take his soul. Adam was shocked and said that he still has 40 years more to live. When the angels reminded him of his promise, he denied it. Here, Adam simply forgot about his promise, which is human nature: we forget.
Then Adam submitted and the angels washed him, dug his grave and buried him.
I couldn't find this hadith and kept coming up with websites that actually belittles (quite an understatement) Islam and everything about it. So if anyone reading this comes across this hadith, please inform me.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Story of Creation
Today we continued our sessions with the Lives of the Prophets beginning with Adam. Even I scrambled to get my notebook and take notes. Logically Anwar Awlaki begins with, why do we have to learn the stories of the prophets in the first place. Hmm, good questioin. The answers, though I can't really state the direct sources from the Quran because he doesn't give the surah or ayah number when they recite the exact ayah:
1. Because Allah commanded Rasulullah SAW to do so.
2. So we can learn lessons from those stories. Those stories are not for mere entertainment. We are supposed to reflect and derive lessons from them.
3. Role models. Our kids need role models. All human beings need role models. If they don't have good role models, they are bound to take bad role models. Who are the best role models other than the people whom Allah had chosen to deliver His message and guide the people? This point really struck me, and when I explained it to the kids, I talked about how people take celebrities as their role models. Gave them some clear examples from the culture of the American society, going ga ga over teen rock stars and what nots. Their PBS cartoons are already portraying those kinds of stuff, much to my dismay. I had relied on PBS and only PBS. Sigh.
4. So we can love them. You can't love someone when you don't know them. This point gave me the opportunity to talk to them about not making quick judgments, because I noticed them always saying,
"I don't like that boy because he has spiky hair," or
"I don't like her because she has short hair."
It bothers me a lot even though they are just talking about fictional characters on TV or in books, because if they keep it up, nauzubillah they might even bring it out into the real world. So I make sure I drove the point home,
"How would you feel is someone said, I don't like her because she's too tall?"
S giggled at the remark because she realized it was directed at her.
"How would you feel if someone just said, I don't like her because she draws too much!"
N giggled.
"How would you like it if someone said, I don't like that boy because his skin is brown?"
H grinned, exposing his solitary dimple.
I think and truly hope they get the point because who would want children who make quick judments like that. I don't. That would defeat the purpose of raising them to be good Muslims. We even touched on the point of not hating non Muslims and declaring that they will go to hell, simply because we don't have the right to make that judgment.
In my second year at PPP, my atheist lecturer asked me and my friend,
"So will I go to hell?"
We responded witb sheepish grins and no words, while trying as hard as we could to excuse ourselves from his office, which wasn't easy because we had just come to discuss our research paper on suicide. I can never forget his toothy grin while he waited for us to answer. What was he expecting anyway? Yes? No? We were too green to answer with wisdom at the time. I wish I can answer him now.
"I don't know. Only God can make that judgment. I guess it's a wait and see situation. We don't even know if we are going to heaven for sure."
We learned the ropes of answering atheists in our Aqeedah class from Al Maghrib. It did help put a little bit of perspective in me, at least.
Today, we learned about how when Allah created Adam, He blew soul into him and the first thing Adam did was sneeze and Allah said Yarhamkallah. And after that Allah told Adam to go to the group of angels sitting, and greet them with assalamualaikum.
Here the point is that, Allah has decided the kind of greeting Adam should use andnot only Adam, but his descendants as well, so that means us. Brings the point home really, and it's beautiful because when we greet that way, we are in fact spreading peace all over, rather than wishing someone a mere good morning or what's up. We can wish someone good morning, but only after uttering salam to them if they're Muslims.
One important thing also was about the meethaq, or covenant that we all had with Allah.
Surah al-A'raaf (7/172)
And (remember) when your Lord brought forth from the Children of Adam, from their loins, their seed (or from Adam's loin his offspring) and made them testify as to themselves (saying): "Am I not your Lord?" They said: "Yes! We testify," lest you should say on the Day of Resurrection: "Verily, we have been unaware of this."
Includes a summarized version of At-Tabari, Al-Qurtubi and Ibn Kathir with comments from Sahih Al-Bukhari. by Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din Al-Hilali & Muhammad Muhsin Khan
This implies that we were all Muslims before and had testified to Allah as to his Lordship, but when we are born, we are only left with fitrah which is the remnant of that covenant.
The Prophet salallaahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Every child is born upon the fitrah, but his parents turn him into a Jew, a Christian, or a Zoroastrian." (Agreed upon)
"I created My servants upright, then the shayaateen took hold of them." (Ahmad and Muslim) (hadith qudsi)
So when a non Muslim converts or reverts (which is more correct), he is aligning himself with his fitrah, in the sense that he found his original state after being changed.
It's a mind boggling concept to accept when you put it in a way that all their friends, especially their non Muslim friends were upright before they were even born. Probably left imprints in their young minds.
1. Because Allah commanded Rasulullah SAW to do so.
2. So we can learn lessons from those stories. Those stories are not for mere entertainment. We are supposed to reflect and derive lessons from them.
3. Role models. Our kids need role models. All human beings need role models. If they don't have good role models, they are bound to take bad role models. Who are the best role models other than the people whom Allah had chosen to deliver His message and guide the people? This point really struck me, and when I explained it to the kids, I talked about how people take celebrities as their role models. Gave them some clear examples from the culture of the American society, going ga ga over teen rock stars and what nots. Their PBS cartoons are already portraying those kinds of stuff, much to my dismay. I had relied on PBS and only PBS. Sigh.
4. So we can love them. You can't love someone when you don't know them. This point gave me the opportunity to talk to them about not making quick judgments, because I noticed them always saying,
"I don't like that boy because he has spiky hair," or
"I don't like her because she has short hair."
It bothers me a lot even though they are just talking about fictional characters on TV or in books, because if they keep it up, nauzubillah they might even bring it out into the real world. So I make sure I drove the point home,
"How would you feel is someone said, I don't like her because she's too tall?"
S giggled at the remark because she realized it was directed at her.
"How would you feel if someone just said, I don't like her because she draws too much!"
N giggled.
"How would you like it if someone said, I don't like that boy because his skin is brown?"
H grinned, exposing his solitary dimple.
I think and truly hope they get the point because who would want children who make quick judments like that. I don't. That would defeat the purpose of raising them to be good Muslims. We even touched on the point of not hating non Muslims and declaring that they will go to hell, simply because we don't have the right to make that judgment.
In my second year at PPP, my atheist lecturer asked me and my friend,
"So will I go to hell?"
We responded witb sheepish grins and no words, while trying as hard as we could to excuse ourselves from his office, which wasn't easy because we had just come to discuss our research paper on suicide. I can never forget his toothy grin while he waited for us to answer. What was he expecting anyway? Yes? No? We were too green to answer with wisdom at the time. I wish I can answer him now.
"I don't know. Only God can make that judgment. I guess it's a wait and see situation. We don't even know if we are going to heaven for sure."
We learned the ropes of answering atheists in our Aqeedah class from Al Maghrib. It did help put a little bit of perspective in me, at least.
Today, we learned about how when Allah created Adam, He blew soul into him and the first thing Adam did was sneeze and Allah said Yarhamkallah. And after that Allah told Adam to go to the group of angels sitting, and greet them with assalamualaikum.
Here the point is that, Allah has decided the kind of greeting Adam should use andnot only Adam, but his descendants as well, so that means us. Brings the point home really, and it's beautiful because when we greet that way, we are in fact spreading peace all over, rather than wishing someone a mere good morning or what's up. We can wish someone good morning, but only after uttering salam to them if they're Muslims.
One important thing also was about the meethaq, or covenant that we all had with Allah.
Surah al-A'raaf (7/172)
And (remember) when your Lord brought forth from the Children of Adam, from their loins, their seed (or from Adam's loin his offspring) and made them testify as to themselves (saying): "Am I not your Lord?" They said: "Yes! We testify," lest you should say on the Day of Resurrection: "Verily, we have been unaware of this."
Includes a summarized version of At-Tabari, Al-Qurtubi and Ibn Kathir with comments from Sahih Al-Bukhari. by Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din Al-Hilali & Muhammad Muhsin Khan
This implies that we were all Muslims before and had testified to Allah as to his Lordship, but when we are born, we are only left with fitrah which is the remnant of that covenant.
The Prophet salallaahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Every child is born upon the fitrah, but his parents turn him into a Jew, a Christian, or a Zoroastrian." (Agreed upon)
"I created My servants upright, then the shayaateen took hold of them." (Ahmad and Muslim) (hadith qudsi)
So when a non Muslim converts or reverts (which is more correct), he is aligning himself with his fitrah, in the sense that he found his original state after being changed.
It's a mind boggling concept to accept when you put it in a way that all their friends, especially their non Muslim friends were upright before they were even born. Probably left imprints in their young minds.
Al-Aadiyat
We started school by listening to Muhammad Al-Shareef's lecture on Surah Al-Aadiyaat yesterday. N and S got out their papers and steeled themselves to take notes, web chart style. Even I learned new stuff, which is part of the objective anyway.
1. When Allah tetifies by something, that raises the status of the thing. For example when ALlah testifies by the war horses, that raises its status. In Juz Amma Allah testifies by many things such as the sun, the night, the dawn etc.
2. The war horses mentioned in this Surah charge right into the middle of the enemy force, showing the very nature of their purpose for living.
3. Rasulullah SAW used to lay in wait outside villlages before fajr and only attack when he didn't hear the azan being called out for fajr, signifying that they're not Muslims.
At this S commented,
"Azan? But we don't hear azan here?"
I had to do a double take at that. Realized that the kids are not used to hearing azan being called out at every prayer time. So I told them that we're currently living in a non Muslim country. Reminded them that F used to call out the azan whenever we're about to pray wherever we stop during our travels. Also told them that the azan is also to call to the jinns to pray. That surely caught their attention.
Then the surah went on about how humans are an ungrateful lot, and how they are greedy with no consideration whatsoever about the hereafter. Makes me think that we actually claim more than we deserve when people make statements like,
"It's not fair that we go to hell for not believing in your God, and it's not fair that if someone were to kill for a 100 years, he gets thron in hell for eternity."
Then, it's not fair either for a person who does good deeds and acts of true worship for a 100 years to live in Heaven for eternity, does it? Like most Muslims know, it's not their deeds that land them in heaven, but it's Allah's Mercy, so shouldn't we humble ourselves to Him in complete and total worship?
The surah also talks about how the contents of the graves will be dumped out when the time comes and S asked,
"Will everyone be 'malu' then?"
"Yes, but the Prophet SAW said that on that day, people will be so scared of meeting Allah that they won't even think about looking at other people's nakedness. This was what he said, when his wife, Aishah asked him about it."
What I loved was how Muhammad AlShareef used a metaphor with women's purses. He talked about how most women if not all will not let their purses have their contents dumped out. So in essence, the purses look very nice on the outside, but the contents might not be 'exhibit material'. It's just how it is with humans. We may look very presentable and pious on the outside, but on the inside only Allah knows and it's on that day that everything will be revealed.
So after listening to the tafseer of the whole surah, I got them to write a report on it. H came up with a picture of horses and of how the horse charges right into the middle of an enemy line. S practically summarized the whole surah and mentioned almost everything in it, from the physical of the horses to human beings being an ungrateful lot. N focused on how everyone will be so scared on the day they will wait to meet Allah and ended it with,
"You who are Muslim that does all good will go in Jana."
Well, understandings at three different levels allright.
1. When Allah tetifies by something, that raises the status of the thing. For example when ALlah testifies by the war horses, that raises its status. In Juz Amma Allah testifies by many things such as the sun, the night, the dawn etc.
2. The war horses mentioned in this Surah charge right into the middle of the enemy force, showing the very nature of their purpose for living.
3. Rasulullah SAW used to lay in wait outside villlages before fajr and only attack when he didn't hear the azan being called out for fajr, signifying that they're not Muslims.
At this S commented,
"Azan? But we don't hear azan here?"
I had to do a double take at that. Realized that the kids are not used to hearing azan being called out at every prayer time. So I told them that we're currently living in a non Muslim country. Reminded them that F used to call out the azan whenever we're about to pray wherever we stop during our travels. Also told them that the azan is also to call to the jinns to pray. That surely caught their attention.
Then the surah went on about how humans are an ungrateful lot, and how they are greedy with no consideration whatsoever about the hereafter. Makes me think that we actually claim more than we deserve when people make statements like,
"It's not fair that we go to hell for not believing in your God, and it's not fair that if someone were to kill for a 100 years, he gets thron in hell for eternity."
Then, it's not fair either for a person who does good deeds and acts of true worship for a 100 years to live in Heaven for eternity, does it? Like most Muslims know, it's not their deeds that land them in heaven, but it's Allah's Mercy, so shouldn't we humble ourselves to Him in complete and total worship?
The surah also talks about how the contents of the graves will be dumped out when the time comes and S asked,
"Will everyone be 'malu' then?"
"Yes, but the Prophet SAW said that on that day, people will be so scared of meeting Allah that they won't even think about looking at other people's nakedness. This was what he said, when his wife, Aishah asked him about it."
What I loved was how Muhammad AlShareef used a metaphor with women's purses. He talked about how most women if not all will not let their purses have their contents dumped out. So in essence, the purses look very nice on the outside, but the contents might not be 'exhibit material'. It's just how it is with humans. We may look very presentable and pious on the outside, but on the inside only Allah knows and it's on that day that everything will be revealed.
So after listening to the tafseer of the whole surah, I got them to write a report on it. H came up with a picture of horses and of how the horse charges right into the middle of an enemy line. S practically summarized the whole surah and mentioned almost everything in it, from the physical of the horses to human beings being an ungrateful lot. N focused on how everyone will be so scared on the day they will wait to meet Allah and ended it with,
"You who are Muslim that does all good will go in Jana."
Well, understandings at three different levels allright.
First day of Ramadan
We all staggered down the stairs in the wee hours of the morning. Had no trouble waking the kids up because they were all so hyped up about fasting that a mere,
"Kids, suhoor," brought about fluttering eyelids that soon turned into wide eyes gleaming with anticipation.
All decided to eat rice with me. Alhamdulillah these kids are not very fussy about food and have no trouble eating the leftover dishes we had from dinner last night. Though N does complain sometimes,
"Why are we always eating that?"
I always reply,
"That's what we have. If you want to eat something else, you can cook it yourself. Some people don't even have food."
It's rather harsh, but when it comes to food I'm not going to molly coddle them because as it is, I do think we have an abundance of food that we even get to make choices as to what to eat in one day.
They had a dental appointment at 1 pm, and we just told them to try not to swallow the water. S displayed such a dismayed look on her face when I told her that it might break her fast, that we then just told them it's okay. She's really determined to have a full fast this Ramadan.
On the other hand, I was the one exceptionally tired, even more so than them. H at least got to take nap when i told him to go downstairs because he was making such a noise chattering away while his sisters tried to do their work. After a while, I realized that it was so quiet downstairs, and asked N what H is doing.
"He's sleeping," she said, and I was so surprised that I had to go and check it for myself. He truly was. No wonder too. They didn't go back to sleep after suhoor and we started school right after.
We went to the dentist around 12:30 and got back home at 10 to 3. I was exhausted, but had promised them that we would do the Ramadan crossword puzzle and the paper chain. So we did. By the time I was done, I was really craving for sleep, so I joined my husband in bed. He was already oblivious, slumbering deeply like a bear.
"S, wake us up at 5 okay!" I hollered to her, hoping my voice would carry all the way downstairs, where they were watching TV. I had asked S and N if they wanted to take naps but they refused, and i couldn't help but marvel at their perseverance. There I was extremely exhausted, and there they were, on the first day of fasting, not to mention that this year the fast is longer than last year because Ramadan has moved forward about two weeks, romping about with vigor, with no complaints of being lethargic like last year.
% pm, S woke us up and I got up rather groggily.
"N, S, make wudhu!" I hollered for the second time, as I struggled to get out of bed.
N just turned 7 few days ago, and instead of celebrating it as a birthday like everyone else, we celebrated it as the age when she would start choosing one prayer to pray consistently. S had chosen maghrib as her first one and when she turned 8, I asked her to choose another one. So N is now in the process of doing her Asr constantly since she had chosen that to start with. Sure beats trying to pray 5 prayers everyday. At least this way they get to get used to performing a prayer with its movements and recitation. Not too overwhelming and most importantly, they get to feel like it's their choice and that they're not being forced into it.
We prayed Asr and I faced my next hurdle: cooking.
Masyaallah, the kids all managed to do a full fast for the day. Before, in the previous years, when they lament on wanting to break their fast before time, I made sure they have activities to keep their minds off their hunger and when all else failed, I said,
"DO you know that people who fast, they feel joy at two times? One is when you break your fast at the right time, and the other is when you meet Allah. If you hold on until it is time to break your fast, just imagine how relieved and happy you'll feel because you fasted a full fast."
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and when it doesn't it's no big deal.
So all of them got to color their four quadrants full last night, marking one day of their ramadhan fasting chart. Alhamdulillah.
"Kids, suhoor," brought about fluttering eyelids that soon turned into wide eyes gleaming with anticipation.
All decided to eat rice with me. Alhamdulillah these kids are not very fussy about food and have no trouble eating the leftover dishes we had from dinner last night. Though N does complain sometimes,
"Why are we always eating that?"
I always reply,
"That's what we have. If you want to eat something else, you can cook it yourself. Some people don't even have food."
It's rather harsh, but when it comes to food I'm not going to molly coddle them because as it is, I do think we have an abundance of food that we even get to make choices as to what to eat in one day.
They had a dental appointment at 1 pm, and we just told them to try not to swallow the water. S displayed such a dismayed look on her face when I told her that it might break her fast, that we then just told them it's okay. She's really determined to have a full fast this Ramadan.
On the other hand, I was the one exceptionally tired, even more so than them. H at least got to take nap when i told him to go downstairs because he was making such a noise chattering away while his sisters tried to do their work. After a while, I realized that it was so quiet downstairs, and asked N what H is doing.
"He's sleeping," she said, and I was so surprised that I had to go and check it for myself. He truly was. No wonder too. They didn't go back to sleep after suhoor and we started school right after.
We went to the dentist around 12:30 and got back home at 10 to 3. I was exhausted, but had promised them that we would do the Ramadan crossword puzzle and the paper chain. So we did. By the time I was done, I was really craving for sleep, so I joined my husband in bed. He was already oblivious, slumbering deeply like a bear.
"S, wake us up at 5 okay!" I hollered to her, hoping my voice would carry all the way downstairs, where they were watching TV. I had asked S and N if they wanted to take naps but they refused, and i couldn't help but marvel at their perseverance. There I was extremely exhausted, and there they were, on the first day of fasting, not to mention that this year the fast is longer than last year because Ramadan has moved forward about two weeks, romping about with vigor, with no complaints of being lethargic like last year.
% pm, S woke us up and I got up rather groggily.
"N, S, make wudhu!" I hollered for the second time, as I struggled to get out of bed.
N just turned 7 few days ago, and instead of celebrating it as a birthday like everyone else, we celebrated it as the age when she would start choosing one prayer to pray consistently. S had chosen maghrib as her first one and when she turned 8, I asked her to choose another one. So N is now in the process of doing her Asr constantly since she had chosen that to start with. Sure beats trying to pray 5 prayers everyday. At least this way they get to get used to performing a prayer with its movements and recitation. Not too overwhelming and most importantly, they get to feel like it's their choice and that they're not being forced into it.
We prayed Asr and I faced my next hurdle: cooking.
Masyaallah, the kids all managed to do a full fast for the day. Before, in the previous years, when they lament on wanting to break their fast before time, I made sure they have activities to keep their minds off their hunger and when all else failed, I said,
"DO you know that people who fast, they feel joy at two times? One is when you break your fast at the right time, and the other is when you meet Allah. If you hold on until it is time to break your fast, just imagine how relieved and happy you'll feel because you fasted a full fast."
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and when it doesn't it's no big deal.
So all of them got to color their four quadrants full last night, marking one day of their ramadhan fasting chart. Alhamdulillah.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Rasul Vs. Nabi
Today is the day before Ramadan, well at least for some of the Muslims. We started our school day as usual and really raced through it. I dangled a trip to the library as bait to get them to finish up as fast as their little fingers can manage. It worked. Teaching about animals to N is was easier than teaching her about the water cycle. Math worksheets also seemed to be something they enjoy when rewarded with little itty bitty stickers. I actually put sticky tape over H's mouth, after failing to get him to sit quietly and do his work. I decided 5 seconds was enough and he endured through it with no complaints.
The timer didn't seem to really work for N in getting her to do her work religiously, but the stickers did. As for H, he had the gall to ask me for a 45 minute break just because he did a "lot of worksheets."
Nevertheless, we all finished in good time today. On the way to the library I brought along Anwar Awlaki's cassette on Lives of the Prophet. Read on Al Maghrib's forum that some mothers managed to make a lesson out of listening to the tape for her children. It inspired me to do the same. Saves me from lecturing and storytelling.
So far, we learned about the difference between rasul and nabi. We didn't get that far with it because the trip to the library only took about 10 minutes. I guess now at least we have something new to try for social studies and probably seerah. What I love most about it is that it uses sources from the Quran and hadith that I can look up, rather than just mere narrations like in Malaysia.
With just narrations, the students are indirectly taught to not scurtinise the sources of those stories and growing up, I'm sure I've heard a lot of the stories from Bani Israel which we should neither believe nor refute. Isn't it just easier to cite the sources and take that as what we should learn? Makes us less of blind followers and hones our analytical thinking.
I keep being reminded of the Ramadan incident and now I'll make sure I dive into the QUran and hadith for backups of what i teach them, though it can be pretty challenging when you think you've read the hadith somewhere and then just narrate it in your own words.
I think I'm going to do hadith lessons with them too. Take a simple hadith and talk about it. Just today I was very disturbed when H threw something that hit N's head. When I asked him if he felt bad for hurting his sister he replied in the negative. After a slow-talk session, it turned out that he prefers one sister over the other for some reasons only he himself experienced.
So out came one hadith (though very much paraphrased..sigh) and another one while discussing S's literature for today 'House in the Forest'.
Am so glad I took the Aqeedah class with Al Maghrib. Now it's clearer to me what shirk and its stepping stones are. Alhamdulillah.
The timer didn't seem to really work for N in getting her to do her work religiously, but the stickers did. As for H, he had the gall to ask me for a 45 minute break just because he did a "lot of worksheets."
Nevertheless, we all finished in good time today. On the way to the library I brought along Anwar Awlaki's cassette on Lives of the Prophet. Read on Al Maghrib's forum that some mothers managed to make a lesson out of listening to the tape for her children. It inspired me to do the same. Saves me from lecturing and storytelling.
So far, we learned about the difference between rasul and nabi. We didn't get that far with it because the trip to the library only took about 10 minutes. I guess now at least we have something new to try for social studies and probably seerah. What I love most about it is that it uses sources from the Quran and hadith that I can look up, rather than just mere narrations like in Malaysia.
With just narrations, the students are indirectly taught to not scurtinise the sources of those stories and growing up, I'm sure I've heard a lot of the stories from Bani Israel which we should neither believe nor refute. Isn't it just easier to cite the sources and take that as what we should learn? Makes us less of blind followers and hones our analytical thinking.
I keep being reminded of the Ramadan incident and now I'll make sure I dive into the QUran and hadith for backups of what i teach them, though it can be pretty challenging when you think you've read the hadith somewhere and then just narrate it in your own words.
I think I'm going to do hadith lessons with them too. Take a simple hadith and talk about it. Just today I was very disturbed when H threw something that hit N's head. When I asked him if he felt bad for hurting his sister he replied in the negative. After a slow-talk session, it turned out that he prefers one sister over the other for some reasons only he himself experienced.
So out came one hadith (though very much paraphrased..sigh) and another one while discussing S's literature for today 'House in the Forest'.
Am so glad I took the Aqeedah class with Al Maghrib. Now it's clearer to me what shirk and its stepping stones are. Alhamdulillah.
Monday, October 03, 2005
3rd Grade Reading Achievement Test
S had her reading achievement test today. Not wanting to arrive late, we set off from home at around 8:40 am. We got there, Alhamdulillah, easily, (no driving around looking for an invisible address this time) at 9 am.
I parked and as we got in the entrance, I saw the sign 'Spain Restaurant' and one of the kids said,
"Hey, this is a restaurant!"
I hesitated and thought that I was lost, yet again, but I peeked in and saw the sign 'Best Western'. Sighing with relief, I went in, asked the boy manning the reception desk about where the test was, and soon we were climbing up the stairs towards Pacer Hall.
We were the first ones to arrive. Got our stuff and seated ourselves in a corner, and began to do school. I hated interruptions like that, to our schedule. It just messes up everything. Yes, even though we can still bring workbooks and what nots where we go, we do waste time driving and parking and walking. So I was duly engrossed in helping N and H do their math while S sat there waiting for the test to commence.
After a while I noticed that the hallway was less packed with people and I looked at my watch.
It was 9:40 am! I had forgotten to send in my daughter in the exam hall with the other test takers!!! Feeling both sheepish and alarmed, I grabbed S and directed her to the teacher sitting at the table outside the exam hall, which by then had its doors closed.
I fumbled for words and came out with,
"She was supposed to be in there."
How absolutely stupid I sounded. How could I have brought my daughter to the test location so early and failed to send her in on time for the test! Silently I kicked myself.
Well, no harm done. They were giving instructions in there and so S didn't miss much. Yet I still felt so very bad. My daughter's first test and I had messed it all up!
While waiting for her N, H and I went to the other room and did our school work. 11 am, S was done and we went home. In the van S said,
"There were kids who looked like they were bigger than 3rd grade in there."
"Oh...you mean like Binky? Like maybe they didn't go up to fourth grade?"
"Yeah."
I asked her how she did and she said OK. Frankly, I'm not too worried about it. They have the test again in March. If she needs to take it again, so be it.
But..highlight of today : What an absolutely dumb ox I was. Honestly, I thought they would call out,
"Those who are taking the test, please come in now."
Yet they never did and for all I know, we could have sat there till 11 am and missed the test altogether!
I parked and as we got in the entrance, I saw the sign 'Spain Restaurant' and one of the kids said,
"Hey, this is a restaurant!"
I hesitated and thought that I was lost, yet again, but I peeked in and saw the sign 'Best Western'. Sighing with relief, I went in, asked the boy manning the reception desk about where the test was, and soon we were climbing up the stairs towards Pacer Hall.
We were the first ones to arrive. Got our stuff and seated ourselves in a corner, and began to do school. I hated interruptions like that, to our schedule. It just messes up everything. Yes, even though we can still bring workbooks and what nots where we go, we do waste time driving and parking and walking. So I was duly engrossed in helping N and H do their math while S sat there waiting for the test to commence.
After a while I noticed that the hallway was less packed with people and I looked at my watch.
It was 9:40 am! I had forgotten to send in my daughter in the exam hall with the other test takers!!! Feeling both sheepish and alarmed, I grabbed S and directed her to the teacher sitting at the table outside the exam hall, which by then had its doors closed.
I fumbled for words and came out with,
"She was supposed to be in there."
How absolutely stupid I sounded. How could I have brought my daughter to the test location so early and failed to send her in on time for the test! Silently I kicked myself.
Well, no harm done. They were giving instructions in there and so S didn't miss much. Yet I still felt so very bad. My daughter's first test and I had messed it all up!
While waiting for her N, H and I went to the other room and did our school work. 11 am, S was done and we went home. In the van S said,
"There were kids who looked like they were bigger than 3rd grade in there."
"Oh...you mean like Binky? Like maybe they didn't go up to fourth grade?"
"Yeah."
I asked her how she did and she said OK. Frankly, I'm not too worried about it. They have the test again in March. If she needs to take it again, so be it.
But..highlight of today : What an absolutely dumb ox I was. Honestly, I thought they would call out,
"Those who are taking the test, please come in now."
Yet they never did and for all I know, we could have sat there till 11 am and missed the test altogether!
Then...And Then...And Then
F was helping H recite his surah while I was simply lounging on the futon (I don't even remember what i was doing. Shows how much I day dream while chaos are alm around me). When I went for my eye exam, the intern remarked,
"Wow, you have three children! How do you handle them? My brother has one boy and I cannot even stay with him for more than an hour!"
She was a vietnamese. That much I could tell, from her accent. I actually warmed up to her, because she was so friendly. So contrary to what I would have said upon first meeting people, I replied,
"Oh, you just learn to ignore them after a while." I said this with no intention of eliciting guffaws from her, so I was quite surprised when she roared and kept repeating,
"Oh, that's soooo funny!"
But it is true. I wasn't joking. You DO learn to ignore them after a while. Especially for mothers who have been home with her kids since the moment they were born. O mentioned once that mothers like me cannot understand how other mothers who are used to having their kids in school have to adjust to suddenly having their kids home ALL the time once they decided to homeschool them. I guess it is true. In a way, I'm used to having the kids with me all the time that it poses no additional stress having them with me all the time. Of course, that doesn't mean I DON'T get stressed out for that would so very far from the truth. I remember the deals I made with F, so I could have some time off from the kids so I could regain my sanity.
However, human beings are so resilient that we soon tend to find solutions for our problems. Mine was to ignore them. I can block them out, well truth be told, I don't really let them run around the house screaming like savages while I switch off into 'Nirvana' mode. They have grown to know when I need my 'me' time. Now, I only need to tell them,
"Close the door and don't bother me please," and they will obediently leave me alone while I blog away in solitude.
Ok getting back to my main story:
F was helping H recite his surah, along with reading the translation of each ayat. After a while, H asked,
"What's thumma?"
"Then," said F.
I was still of course in my own world, so I only heard snippets of their exchanges. Suddenly I was snapped out of my reverie when H exclaimed,
"Why Ummi told me not to use 'then' a lot in my writing, but the Quran uses it a lot!"
For a few seconds I was speechless and dumfounded. My mouth was hanging open, forming a stupid-looking O while I grappled for a response. I came up with,
"Hmm he has a good point."
I couldn't rebutt him. He's been so smart-alecky lately. A lot of thinking and pondering going on in that spiky-haired head of his. I guess G was right when she said that boys' brains are different than girls'.
Another thing I couldn't comprehend is: H's obsession with having as short-cut hair as possible. Do you know what he did to his baby pictures on the computers? After acquiring the skills of retouching photos, he retouched all his photos that I consider so adorable, due to his lush hair, so as to make his hair look thinner. I asked him,
"Why'd you ruin your pictures?"
"Because I don't want my hair to look so big!"
I keep telling him,
"Don't worry about 'big hair'. When you grow old, you'll have hair like Abi. THEN you'll worry about havinga big hair."
"Wow, you have three children! How do you handle them? My brother has one boy and I cannot even stay with him for more than an hour!"
She was a vietnamese. That much I could tell, from her accent. I actually warmed up to her, because she was so friendly. So contrary to what I would have said upon first meeting people, I replied,
"Oh, you just learn to ignore them after a while." I said this with no intention of eliciting guffaws from her, so I was quite surprised when she roared and kept repeating,
"Oh, that's soooo funny!"
But it is true. I wasn't joking. You DO learn to ignore them after a while. Especially for mothers who have been home with her kids since the moment they were born. O mentioned once that mothers like me cannot understand how other mothers who are used to having their kids in school have to adjust to suddenly having their kids home ALL the time once they decided to homeschool them. I guess it is true. In a way, I'm used to having the kids with me all the time that it poses no additional stress having them with me all the time. Of course, that doesn't mean I DON'T get stressed out for that would so very far from the truth. I remember the deals I made with F, so I could have some time off from the kids so I could regain my sanity.
However, human beings are so resilient that we soon tend to find solutions for our problems. Mine was to ignore them. I can block them out, well truth be told, I don't really let them run around the house screaming like savages while I switch off into 'Nirvana' mode. They have grown to know when I need my 'me' time. Now, I only need to tell them,
"Close the door and don't bother me please," and they will obediently leave me alone while I blog away in solitude.
Ok getting back to my main story:
F was helping H recite his surah, along with reading the translation of each ayat. After a while, H asked,
"What's thumma?"
"Then," said F.
I was still of course in my own world, so I only heard snippets of their exchanges. Suddenly I was snapped out of my reverie when H exclaimed,
"Why Ummi told me not to use 'then' a lot in my writing, but the Quran uses it a lot!"
For a few seconds I was speechless and dumfounded. My mouth was hanging open, forming a stupid-looking O while I grappled for a response. I came up with,
"Hmm he has a good point."
I couldn't rebutt him. He's been so smart-alecky lately. A lot of thinking and pondering going on in that spiky-haired head of his. I guess G was right when she said that boys' brains are different than girls'.
Another thing I couldn't comprehend is: H's obsession with having as short-cut hair as possible. Do you know what he did to his baby pictures on the computers? After acquiring the skills of retouching photos, he retouched all his photos that I consider so adorable, due to his lush hair, so as to make his hair look thinner. I asked him,
"Why'd you ruin your pictures?"
"Because I don't want my hair to look so big!"
I keep telling him,
"Don't worry about 'big hair'. When you grow old, you'll have hair like Abi. THEN you'll worry about havinga big hair."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
