Safi Khan

Shaykh-a-month for November is this Thanksgiving weekend. Safi Khan and Houcine Chouat were or rather, are the guest speakers.

H went with hubby the whole day yesterday for the lectures. When he came home, I asked him if he liked it. He said yes. Hubby even said that H was actually listening attentively to Safi Khan and at the end shook his hand.

I remembered what Muhammah Alshareef said about having your child introduced to the scholars or students of knowledge when they're young so that they will grow up wanting to be like those people rather than the pop stars or celebrities nowadays. Insyaallah that is being implemented now.

H went with hubby for Fajr and stayed there till around 8 am. Then they went for Maghrib, where H fell asleep in the masjid during Safi Khan's lecture. Hubby said, Safi Khan even called H out twice. Hubby also said people were even wondering about H,

"This boy didn't sleep since Fajr?"

Before hubby went for Maghrib he went to the masjid for Asr without H. When I told H that his dad had left for the masjid, he exclaimed,

"I want to go!"

It leaves me with an indescribable feeling to see H so excited over an Islamic lecture, and I almost didn't believe hubby when he said H was listening attentively to the lecture that I had to ask him again.

"Do you understand what he was talking about?" I asked H.

He nodded and I asked him again and he affirmed it.

"That's weird. Do you remember him complaining about not understanding Abdulbary's lecture in the CDs?"I asked hubby.

"Well, maybe he's grown up and now understands it, or he has passed a certain stage where he now has no trouble understanding those 'tion' words," I concluded.

It was the '...tion' words that H was complaining about in Abdulbary Yahya's lecture The Purification of the Heart. I suppose his avid reading has paid off. I have certainly noticed H acquiring more and more comprehension, not to mention his very much improved Quran recitation. Maybe that was also passing a stage.

Alhamdulillah, with all the kids, I have realized this to be very true : Inna Maal Usri Yusra. With hardship comes ease.

I may be struggling to teach them something for quite a while, but after a while, it comes to them just like that, subhanallah. Most probably they were not ready when I was struggling to teach them, or maybe it was just a test for me, since constant input will eventually result in a large output biiznillah.

Well, there they go again, father and son, to the masjid on their bikes. The temperature has truly spiked up, which is weird for November, but nevertheless very welcome. May Allah guide you and guide through you, my boy. Ameen.

Constantly bringing your son to the masjid and attending Islamic events insyaallah help to steer them away from unnecessary activities with their peers. Growing boys really need male role models and who is better than their own father? The image of Imam Ahmad Hambal and his son Abdullah is becoming more and more ingrained in my mind.

There was one time where Imam Ahmad brought his young son with him to the masjid and a man called him a zindeeq and cussed him in front of Abdullah. Imam Ahmad simply took his son's hand and went away. May Allah guide us all with the manners of the prophet SAW. Ameen.

Hayya Ala Salaah!

S is now praying the full five times a day. N is now prayingZuhr, Asr and Maghrib. H by accident has started praying Asr, Maghrib and quite recently Isya'. He's not 7 yet.

What I did with S was to introduce her to one salah at a time and have her commit to that one salah until she's ready to add another one. Catch : once she chooses the salah, she has to commit to it. I offer her the choices in the beginning.

Advantages of this:
1. She doesn't feel forced as she was given a choice.
2. She learns how to commit to something
3. The process is gradual and it teaches her accountability (for the commitment)
4. It gives her time to perfect the movements and recitations in salat, one salat at a time
5. Less confusion over how many rakaah one salat is
6. Gives her a sense of accomplishment at accumulating more salat until she reaches the full five

Disadvantages:
1. She will insist she doesn't have to pray a salat that she didn't pick yet
2. People at the masjid gave her dagger stares when they told her to pray and she said she didn't have to
3. She will play around while we pray the salat that she didn't choose yet

However, lately, N has been joining us for Isya' even though she hasn't chosen Isya yet. It's not every time, but at least she joined us out of her own accord. As for H, he is not officially supposed to start praying yet, age-wise, but I think, the fact that everyone in the house is praying, especially his sisters, gave him a sense of community that somewhat cajoled him to join. Hubby started bringing him to the masjid for Isya weeks ago.

"H, you wanna come with me?" he'd ask.

"Yeah!" came the excited response.

"Get your thawb," hubby would say as he put on his shoes and went out the door.

Since then, H has been doggedly following hubby to the masjid for Isya' and even gained himself some recognition, as a side benefit. Everytime they came back, hubby would tell me he talked to people. When H didn't go with hubby, hubby would tell me that some people were asking for him. Well, well, since H by nature is not as shy and reserved as his sisters anyway, it is no wonder to me that he has gained that much rapport with those brothers at the masjid. Good for him.

Alhamdulillah things have worked out regarding H's affiliation with hubby. In the beginning I worried about him stuck at home most of the time, especially sunce he is becoming more and more active. He seemed to need male interaction and modelling. Now, hubby has practically taken H under his wings. They play soccer and basketball together. They go to the masjid together. They memorize Ar-Rahman together, well, hubby supervising H anyway. They even joke together. H seemed more fulfilled, alhamdulillah. This all reminds me of Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal's 'hadith ball' with his son Abdullah.

H is also now 'iqamah' guy. So N has Fajr and Isya left. H has Fajr and Zuhr left.

Genetics

"They read in the dark and they read a lot," I insisted.

"Oh, that's just a myth. It's actually genetics," she explained.

I couldn't completely accept it. It must be the intense reading. This early?! S is already wearing glasses, but N and H too? At this age?

Yesterday we went for N and H's eye appointment. While the doc's assistant was checking H's eyes, she turned and asked me,

"Does he sit very close to the TV?"

I almost burst out laughing.

"No, they don't watch TV. They read in the dark," I replied, somewhat sardonically.

I didn't think more about it until we got home. It began to strike me that people might not understand my kids.

"When's your birthday?"

"Happy Birthday!"

"You know Goofy and Daffy Duck?"

What the typical American would take as 'normal', we don't take as necessarily normal. My kids don't watch TV and that is an atypical behavior in itself. My kids are somewhat familiar with Disney characters from their old TV-watching days, but maybe not as familiar as most American-raised kids are. Some people would say the kids are at a disadvantage, but everyone has a right to differ.

I just realized that when I tell people that my kids "don't watchTV", they might not take it literally. To most Muslims, that is not even fully comprehensible. Not watch TV? How can that be?

I thought to myself, get rid of one problem, create another. My kids don't watch TV but they end up reading a lot and I really mean a lot. I just found out that they leave their bedroom door ajar so the light from the hall slightly gives them some light to read by. Even my father asked me if the kids sit too close to the TV when I told him they're all going to wear glasses now.

So is it genetics? Will people, especially family and friends now blame us, the parents for taking TV away from them and plunging them into intense reading such that they have to bear the burden of wearing glasses so soon? If they do, then it is true that no matter what you do, tongues will always wag.

N and H picked their frames yesterday and we are supposed to pick them up in three weeks. We're planning to go to the Texas Dawah Convention. Hopefully the glasses will be ready by then, on time. I worry more for myself than the kids for the very long trip to Houston. I already feel the baby move, but whenever I don't it always plunges me into worry. I'm more convinced now that it was my fault that Julaybib passed away in the womb, considering what I did when I was pregnant with him. I think I ignored my own body and waved off pains as nothing.

I haven't let the kids feel the baby move yet so far. It will get their hopes up too much, though H's eyes are already lit up with excitement when I exclaimed that I felt the baby move. I guess, the baby will grow up with glasses-wearing faces, insyaallah. Sheesh, I'm turning my kids into geeks. Now I'll have to prepare myself to ward off all those unpleasant comments we will surely get from people, as if wearing glasses is the worst thing that can happen to you. I'm worried about how N will handle it more than S and H. Another test in the making.

All About Quran

The girls started going to dugsi yesterday. Every Saturday and Sunday from 9 am to 12 pm, they will be in the masjid with other girls learning Quran and Arabic. After evaluation, both S and N were placed in the same class though S claimed N is of a slightly lower level than her, because she has Arabic book Level 2 while N is on Level 1.

After dropping the girls off, we went to the Oriental Store to do some grocery shopping. The store wasn't opened yet, so we waited.

"H, come recite to me your surah," said hubby.

I listened.

"Ar-Rahmaaan," H began.

After a while, I realized that his tarteel has improved a lot. So much so that I am so impressed by what the sheikh has managed to do with H that I didn't succeed in. In this little time, H's Quran recitation has changed from the speedy rough and tumble recitation to a lilting melodious recitation, replete with correct tajweed. Masyaallah!

Once in a while I would ask him,

"H, you gonna be a sheikh?"

He nodded.

"Insyaallah," I said.

Right now, the rock-climbing sheikh is at the sports rec center with his father, possibly rock climbing again, while the girls are at the dugsi.

Between the two of us, hubby and I figured that the kids would best be in a group of other kids when learning the Quran especially, because of the existence of competition, listening to others's recitation thus increasing motivation. Alhamdulillah, we found places for them to go to. I'm almost giving up on this city in terms of quality Islamic education for the kids. That will be the determining factor for where we are going to relocate to after hubby is done insyaallah.

I sure hope N sits in her class today, and not refuse like yesterday.

Home Depot, Lowe's & everything else

So far, every month since summer we have been taking full advantage of the free kids' clinics offered at Home Depot and Lowe's. Some were difficult to make, some were a cinch. Two adults to three kids was always our case. Hubby would help the girls while I would supervise H. With the growing belly, it's getting harder and harder to contort to those positions to help him hammer his nails. However, he's also becoming more independent, such that he would pull away from me, insisting,

"I got it, I got it."

This firetruck is the most difficult to put together.

I noticed that H doesn't like to dabble in painting and crafting as much as his sisters do. So when offered the chance to paint his project of the month, he would always refuse it while his sisters would jump for joy. So you can tell which one is his, since he doesn't care much for perfection and coloring inside the lines.







Can you tell which one is his? S would take the most care in making hers look as perfect as possible, while artistic N would let her imagination take her wherever she's inclined to go.




Now H is enrolled in a Quran memorization program at the closest masjid to us, and S & N will start dugsi at another masjid this Saturday insyaallah. Finishing Surah Al Mutaffifeen, he chose to memorize Ar-Rahman, and is now doing it with hubby. I have also figured out a way to do Quran recitation with them while keeping my patience. One kid per post prayer time so far seems to be working. N and her fidgeting. H and his insistence that he didn't say it wrong. S is taken care of by hubby.

"Sometimes when Abi tells me stories from the Quran, I feel like I want to read this," said S, as she held up the Noble Quran to me.

Alhamdulillah, now, whenever I dally for prayer, I will always hear shouts,

"Ummi! Pray!"

One time, S said,

"Come on, Ummi. Let's pray. If not all my fasting will be for nothing."

She managed to fast her 6 shawal and a full Ramadhan.

N fasted a full Ramadhan too.

H fasted the whole Ramadan, except those Saturdays when we let him break his fast after running up and down the field in his soccer games. Though he did insist on keeping his fast on the last Saturday.

I, on the other hand, fasted only about 7 days and have yet to make the rest of the days up. Heartburn and what nots, I hope I'll get them over with this December insyaallah.

AlMaghrib Love

My baking streak has struck again, and this time for a pretty big cause or should I say event. S, as expected, jumped at the opportunity to aid me, so she could get her hands on the baking and decorating. Her helped proved to be very valuable, for in my condition, making customized 200 AlMaghrib cupcakes could have proven to be hazardous.

Alhamdulillah, I realize that I can now rely on my 9 year-old, as I sat wearily on the chair in the kitchen, spouting off recipe instructions to her as she added the wet ingredients alternately with the dry ingredients. As for N and H, they were more of a bother, as N tended to stick her finger in almost everything despite clear prohibitions, and H kept inciting annoyed comments from S. I shooed those two out of the kitchen, leaving only S to help me.

I started baking the cuppies on Friday. We continued on Saturday, after going all the way to the cake supply store to find boxes big enough to transport 200 cupcakes in. for those 3 days, I worried about the cupcakes dancing and jiggling in the boxes, and ending up as purple frosting splotched over a messy array or toppled cupcakes. S and N had fun going to the cake supply store with me as we sought boxes and looked through the cake toppers and cookie cutters. That place would be my next favorite place after the library.

It was then that I thought of making the AlMaghrib logo on a flag. Saturday night, I frantically handwrote 101 AlMaghrib logo on those blue and pink flags which I then taped to toothpicks. Courtesy to Abi and S earlier during the day, those flags were measured and cut to the same size; 200 of them. As hubby shook his head at my craziness and willingness to torture myself by making the AlMaghrib logo by hand, I kept at the task, half thinking I shouldn't waste S's effort in cutting the flag pieces earlier in the day.

She also lined the big boxes for me. N helped and did quite a great job lining the bottom of the box with aluminum foil. S then helped me stick the cupcakes in the box in a very neat arrangement. She even skipped the outing to the recreational center Saturday morning, just so she could help me. N and H went and had a blast rock climbing. I see a baker and cake decorator in S. They were also my harshest critique in getting the purple just right for the frosting. Initially I didn't listen to them, but I soon saw that their sense of color was better than mine, so I obeyed their command to "add more purple, Ummi!"


My daughter and I worked as a team, and produced 200 AlMaghrib-themed cupcakes for the AlMaghrib Sisters' Promo on Nov 12. Alhamdulillah, the cupcakes behaved themselves and stayed still all the way from our home to the event location. Jazakum Allah khair, hubby, S, N & even H.

Eid 2006

So far, every Eid, hubby and I would cook the usual rendang, nasi impit, sayur lodeh, pulut kuning and some kind of neutral dish for the non Malays. This year, hubby was supposed to cook everything, but I ended up making everything due to my exasperation at a mission done at the very last minute. However, we didn't have pulut kuning due to the tedious nature of preparing it.

As for the kids, the night before, R and K stopped by to present them with Eid clothes. S and N each got a pair of Somali style top and bottom and hijab, and H got a white thawb each from Sr and K.

As we drove home after the prayer, the first snow of the year fell upon us.

"Rahmah," said a sister.

The whole day was well spent alhamdulillah. We entertained guests after the prayer all the way till Zuhr. Then we went to Chuck E Cheeses (which has not become our annual Eid activity for the kids). However, there were a lot of people there and the crowd this time was very rowdy. Rowdy children with helpless parents. I was very pissed off, but I was too exhausted to assert myself.

As we drove back home, H talked about the boy who rudely snatched the ball he was playing with.

"If people do that to you, don't do it back to them, ok?" said hubby.

H nodded.

N and I waited for ages for this one particular boy to finish using this photo station. His mother kept telling him to go but I think he snapped maybe 10-15 photos of himself while his poor mother yelled at him, to no avail. I left, disgusted.

As soon as we parked, the Malaysian guys were already waiting in the parking lot to attend our open house. We entertained guests all the way till almost midnight.

"Did you have fun today?" I asked the kids.

They nodded emphatically.

"What was your favorite part?" I asked.

"When the Somalians came," replied H.

"Why?" I prodded.

"Because Nm and Sp were funny," he said.

I was very elated that we had non Malays at our Eid open house this year, for the years before, we only had the Malaysians and Indonesians over because the others were busy celebrating Eid with their families. I feel so honored by their presence this year. The kids enjoyed it too.

Hubby's 'No Muslim left behind' policy is implemented this year, alhamdulillah. Eid is not exclusive to just Malaysians and that's how we love it.

Before we left for the Eid prayer, I asked hubby,

"When do we want to give the kids their gifts?"

After some discussion and deliberation, we decided it was best to give it to them before we left, because after the prayer we would be busy preparing the food for the coming guests. I had written a message in each book for each of them before putting them in the gift bags we had bought with the kids. They didn't know the gift bags were for them, but I somehow managed to ask S's opinion on what gift bags she would love. All the time she kept asking me,

"Why are you buying those? Abi would see them and say 'ughh'. He won't agree to buy them."

I couldn't help chuckling, but she was right, had it not been for them. Hubby does not spend his money frivolously. Everytime I would come up to him with stuff we do NOT need, he would wave them away.

Surprise! Eid Mubarak!



S's Eid Gift










N's Eid Gift









H's Eid Gift

Eid 2004

The big crossword puzzle we have done almost every year since we started. This year, even the Ramadan chain was broken.


Idea taken from Crayola, I made this 'The Windows of Ramadan' where each window will contain a good deed they can do for that day or a hadith or a Quranic verse. I enjoyed this project a lot, and the kids had fun coloring the windows without 'perfectionist' ummi butting in at every outside-the-lines coloring.



I love how it looks before it was colored though, outlined and everything. I truly enjoyed conjuring the images outside of those windows. One of my best projects with the kids. The spark of creativity doesn't come as often though, which is just as well, because I wouldn't be able to let them all out anyway.



This year, we didn't do anything in terms of these projects. They wanted to make cookies, but as I was browsing through my recipes, I couldn't gather enough energy to accompany them in this venture. We'll see how the next few days go, but I have a feeling we won't be making any cookies or cupcakes. Poor kids. What with having to bear the sight of Ummi eating in front of them just so her stomach won't act up, and none of these 'fun' things. However, when I asked them who their Ramadan was, N answered in the affirmative positive. She apparently loves hubby's cooking. As for S and H, they both answered in the negative and when i asked why, they said,

"The naps."

We forced them to take naps in the afternoon so they won't have trouble waking up for suhoor. Indeed it works. For after suhoor, they won't go back to sleep, which is good. So far, N and S have fasted all of the days with no big complaints. As for H, he's all hyped up about making up his missed days (days where he played soccer) and still says,

"I'm hungry. I'm so hungry!"

Two goals I didn't see

"He scored another one!"

As usual, I'm lost when watching a soccer game. Everytime I watch one(and I only watch those where either hubby or (now) H is playing), I manage to miss goals, especially those scored by hubby. Many a times I have to resort to having people turn to me exclaiming,

"Did you see that?"

And many a times I respond with,

"Who scored the goal?"

Duh.

That is how much I'm not in tune with soccer or any other sports (generally).

When a fellow parent exclaimed,

"Wow! He scored another one!" I first looked at him, and then scanned the field. I had seen H somewhere among the crowd of 6 and 7 year olds scrimmaging close to the goal post. As I peered closely, I realized that the parent was talking about my boy. H had scored another goal!

Of course, I missed his first one, but not totally my fault, because some mothers were blocking my view and I was not in the mood to tell them to move out of the way. Only when hubby came rushing to me exclaiming,

"Did you see that? Your son scored a goal!"

did the ladies bow out of the way because I responded in a torrent of exasperated Malay clearly containing the word "blocking".

I am not the kind of parent who jumps up and down at a goal, even if it's made by my heroes. Never have I done that, and some soccer fans might take that as just plain "square". So I didn't jump with joy when H scored those two goals, just as I didn't scream with excitement when hubby scored his goals in his games.

I did notice however that the coach made a big deal out of it. Later on H told me that after he had scored one of the goals, the coach came to him and said,

"Come on, man! DO something!"

because H didn't react with jumping jacks or whoops, but simply a one-sided dimpled grin.

"Top scorer, huh?" a parent hailed to us as we walked back to the van.

"You did great, H!" yelled a fellow team mate.

As my son sat on the sidelines with the rest of his teammates, I saw a boy talking to him. Of course, being this very nosy mother, I later asked him what the conversation was about.

"S said to me that if I weren't the forward, we wouldn't have scored those goals," he said.

"He also said to me many times that I did a good job."

Last week, one of their team mates scored a very BEAUTIFUL goal. Now, that one, I witnessed because it was so beautiful. Even hubby said the goal was excellent especially for a kid. Funny how I'm able to perfectly witness other people's goals but not my husband and son's.

H has been appointed forward so many times in the games that I gave up at his ever being a goalie. After he scored those two goals however, coach appointed him defense, and we could see that he wasn't that good at defending because the other team scored a goal. Hubby said he had been coaching H to score and not defend. H later said,

"Defense is boowwing. I like midfield."

"Why?"

"Because I can carry the ball to both sides of the field."

That was last weekend. H has another game this Saturday and it's his last one for this season. October 24 or 25, insyaallah, we will register him for the basketball league which will start in January.

Go Ravens! (coming from a soccer-ignorant mother) I wonder what team he'll be in for basketball.

Belated Updates

I'm not very fond of uploading photos onto blogger because of the time it takes. The snapping of photos are way quicker than the display or presentation. As I was browsing through folders and folders of photos, I came across these 'school' pictures that I had intended to put up on the blog to share.

This particular one was when N was learning about the kelp forest in the ocean. After each lesson I have them do something to put in their lapbook. N however decided to make a model of her help, labelling all the parts of the kelp. As I couldn't afford for our little apartment to become infested with school projects, I snap pictures (which is the reason hubby surprised me with the little camera) and keep those instead. So I really need to make a digital portfolio of what the kids have done. This was done last year, when N was in first grade.

We started going into lapbooks last year. When I ran out of cardboards I stopped and for a while, the kids' lapbook entries were piled in an ugly heap. When doc declared me free of the tortorous bedrest(I'm the kind of person who cannot sit still), I started organizing everything. Now they have quite a few lapbooks to work on. We were also out of glue so we weren't able to do anything (like glue the pieces in the lapbook) much.

I personally really love this lapbook idea (not mine, so can't take the credit, but whoever came up with it, GOOD JOB!). It's a great portfolio to browse through when the year is over. Below is H's Ancient Greece lapbook. It's amazing where a little creativity will lead you to. It's one of the things that makes me enjoy homeschooling. I somehow have an idea of how I'll handle things when baby comes insyaallah, but the tricky part would be when baby turns to a crawling, toddling, grabbing, put-everything-in-the-mouth, drooling machine. Our apartment right now is not baby-proof. I surely have a LOT of work if we don't move out soon. Well, if we move, it'll be a different kind of LOT of work, so I guess I'm done for either way.

The Nitty Gritty of Homeschooling

When I first started out, S was of preschool age, N was 3/4 and H was a babbling toddler. My research revolved around how to keep a toddler busy while you homeschool your older kids. Some ideas include:

Having a crate or a box filled with educational toys or coloring pages for them to occupy themselves with while feeling as if they are being homeschooled too. I was also technically 'homeschooling' N and H at the time because I consider any kind of teaching homeschooling.

When S was 3 I did the Glenn Doman reading method with her along with Iqra. At that time, N was 2 and H was under a year old. We still have the rectangular white board I put up in the living room. When S had problems reading an arabic letter, I would write that letter on the board and leave it for days while repointing it to her and pronouncing it until she got it. That was how i solved that problem with her learning to read Quran. At first I was stumped because I didn't know what to do, but after reading Glenn Doman's concept behind his teaching method, I applied the same to Arabic.

By 3 1/3 S was reading by herself. One down, two to go. We were best friends with the book mobile which came every Friday. Every Friday I would push the double stroller and a walking S with this huge black and white striped ugly bag we used to lug our library books. Suffice it to say, the bag was always bulging with books. I used to borrow Eyewitness animal video cassettes for the kids to watch rather than the cartoons or movies. They grew up with books; them with the kiddie books, me with the cookbooks, gardening, crafting and what nots.

I started the Glenn Doman with N, but in summer 2001 we had to move to Georgia. The move proved to be very stressful for me. I missed the people in Iowa a lot. I sent S to preschool and spent the day doing the Glenn Doman method with N and H while she was in school, but after I took her out, my whole schedule changed again. The Iqra was a continuous consistent thing we did alhamdulillah, though I had started to be lax in the surah memorization with them, so they forgot most of what they had already acquired in their toddlerhood.

Every night I set to work preparing teaching materials for the next day and my creative side enjoyed itself, for a while. I always ended up sleeping quite late due to this. Nevertheless I stuck to it, also despite some opposition to what I was doing from a Muslim neighbor, who later on said she has come to understand why I homeschool the children and that she agreed. I'm not a naturally assertive person and I tend to keep my thoughts to myself but I think I've evolved in that regard. She wasn't the only one against it. There were others who voiced out their opinion on it too. It wasn't a difficult decision for me to make because I had seen what public school had done to S (or at least the potential), so their misgivings didn't move me to put her back in school.

Since we then had to move again to the midwest, my Glenn Doman method with N was yet again interrupted. This move was also stressful, not because I miss the people in Georgia so much, but because I probably had high hopes for the community here. Again, I found a sister who led me to OHVA for homeschooling.

I had already applied for the traditional homeschooling and filled out the forms, received the approval from the state, but I decided to enroll her in OHVA because of the amount of research I had to do to prepare to teach her plus we were not able to support it financially. I also wasn't educated here so it would take heaps more research for me to do and I couldn't afford to do that, not with two other growing children who need teaching and attention.

H and N finally learned to read by themselves as they gave up on me teaching them with the Glenn DOman method. I think they were spurred by S's constant reading that they wanted to be able to read too. A mixture of Between the Lions and Phonics helped them to finally master the art of reading, which honestly left me feeling surprised, pleased, hurt, dismayed, relieved, and amused. Allah truly makes it easier for you.

My daily schedule totally changed. No longer was I able to bake as much as I wanted to. Even my cooking activities had decreased, especially as each child started school. I was used to making weekly menu plans even before S started school, so organizing my day wasn't much of a barrier for me to overcome tcompared to the challenge of being patient when teaching them.

Last year was my 'worst' year so far because all three were in school and S had to sit for two tests in a year and I had the full responsibility of preparing her for that. The biggest challenge in homeschooling is : no one else will pick up where you left off if you don't take the full responsibility of making sure your child learns. This translates to me not being able to do anything else (anything major like pursuing graduate studies or being highly active in the community). I battled with this for a while, but wisdom (I hope) finally won over. I did pursue writing, and I still am, but at a more leisurely pace than I had intended. I cannot stretch myself thin (though literally I would LOVE to).

This year things are supposed to be worse than last year because S is in 4th grade and things are supposed to get more complicated but somehow, with this pregnancy, things seems easier, or maybe I'm just in a 'I- don't- care' state of mind. The kids understand that they have to learn and even though I have had to battle with the occassional "Go do your work!", they do read books on their own, and especially surprisingly N, who likes to read non fiction. Then they would tell me what they learned, sometimes out of their own accord and sometimes with some prompting from me.

This year, N was enrolled in Math Title I because she didn't score too good in her diagnostic Math test. She has always had problems with solving math problems. She is very different in terms of maturity and I have yet to understand her completely. A few days ago, I received an email stating that my child qualified for the Advanced Learner's Program. The teacher didn't specify which one. I asked her. It was S. Reason being : she scored really high in her 3rd grade tests last year, especially in reading. As for H, he's only in 1st grade this year, but his reading skill is almost up to par with S's and more than N's. His Math looks promising too though he keeps saying,

"I don't like Math!"

I no longer make weekly menus. I have gotten lazier as my kids become more independent. As I'm also more involved in my writing, I spend less and less time in the kitchen because finding time to write is in itself a HUGE struggle. I am so spent, but I love every minute of it (well, loosely speaking).

I used to adhere to Flylady but after learning the rudiments of the concept, I started to improvise it, hence my house is back to being messy. (translate = my improvisation didn't pay off) Everything fell apart after J's death because when i was pregnant, no one else carried out my daily cleaning routine as religiously as I had, so I had to deal with starting from scratch in cleaning it.

I need to get back to my 'organized' mode but at this point in the pregnancy I have to say,

"I don't really care."

One thing I noticed though: when you feel like things are overwhelming, and you ask help from Allah, Allah does come to your aid. I have had so many moments of despair, thinking I was raising under average kids, but I have seen improvements year after year Alhamdulillah. The fact that I graduated with the degree that I gained, having had two babies in those undergraduate years, while also extremely hating what I was pursuing shows the Help and Mercy of Allah in the works. It wasn't me. It was Allah. So to all of you who think you can't make it, take solace in the fact that Allah is the only one who can help you and believe it or not, when you think you can't take it, when Allah helps you, subhanallah, it is as if it is a miracle.

Allahu Akbar!

Sheikh

History of the Khulafa in Chicago for two weekends in August. Three vehicles: one van and two cars. The van was occupied by the sisters. I enjoyed these trips with my fellow sisters albeit also filled with worries for my children whom I left behind.

"Did you guys hear about Muhammad Alshareef's mom's dua when she was pregnant with him?"

"She made dua that the baby be a sheikh."

"Masyaallah! I wanna be pregnant! I wanna be pregnant!" exclaimed moi.

We were travelling. That was the first weekend. The second weekend, I began to notice some symptoms along with the fact that what I waited for wasn't coming. I began to wonder if ...

We returned home on Sunday. I spotted the next day.

"Nah, I'm not pregnant," I told hubby.

He expressed a dejected sigh (pretend of real I don't know).

I stopped praying. The bleeding also stopped. I grew confused. I started praying again. I made up my missed Maghrib prayer. Henceafter I was convinced I was pregnant, but worry tugged me like a persistent child.

I had misgivings about it just because of two previous unsuccesful pregnancies. I thought for sure it was a miscarriage. I waited for it to come.

However, two sisters advised me to see the doctor. I honestly didn't see the point (if the miscarriage was coming anyway), but I decided to heed their advice.

Never was I so pleasantly surprised than at that time when doc showed me the beating heart that I actually asked her,

"It's alive?"

Threatened miscarriage : another term to add to my experiences alongside blighted ovum and stillbirth.

I didn't bother telling people or at least making an announcement that I am pregnant because I didn't want to have to inform them again that it didn't work out, for I had done that twice.

Kids were pleasantly surprised when we came home with the ultrasound pictures. They were half angry at me (well, N was) because I had been asking them about the prospect of having a baby. These kids had also probably given up on me being pregnant again because they always said,

"No, the baby might be dead like J."

Hubby explored names for if it turns out to be a girl. None of the names really appealed to me, not right now anyway, but as I scrolled down his blog, I thought,

"I want a name that truly reflects what this baby is about. We had tranquility and then we had light and then we had the lion. This should be 'good news'."

I already know what that name has to be if it's a girl.

"One more week and I will be a mother of five, regardless, insyaallah," I said out loud while hubby did the dishes.

120 days, the ruh will be blown (majority opinion of the ulama') into the fetus and no matter what happens after that (dead or alive) I will be a mother of 5 insyaallah.

If the baby's a boy, hubby already has some names (one with a particularly disturbing spelling). I really hope he will come to his senses and not spell the name the way he does now.

I really meant what I said on the trip. I really wanted to be pregnant, and now I am. Subhanallah.

I thought I was crazy for beingpregnant now what with homeschooling and everything, but my mind has changed. I am now certain that I will be able to handle it insyaallah, for Allah never burdens a soul beyond what it can bear. Maybe when I was pregnant with J, I wasn't ready. Maybe I'm ready now? Maybe my children are ready now? We'll see...

Oh Allah, please make this baby one of the righteous. Ameen.

My Little Helper - well maybe not so little anymore

S appears athletic like hubby but she doesn't have the propensity to plunge into the world of sports other than running for fun with N and H. It rather surprised me that she takes after me a lot. I would have thought that with her build, she would have been into outdoor activities, but as she is growing, she is becoming more domestic.

She is currently taking a sewing class. One day I caught her saying to herself again and again,

"I love my sewing class."

It was supposed to be my job to teach them but with my countless ambitions, I only carried it out halfway. Fortunately, we came across these free classes at our local recreation center, also catered for homeschooled children.

When I was in my baking mood (which has dwindled a lot over the years and become very sparse in occurence) the kids would flock over to me in the kitchen. I used to shoo them away but my mother told me that is not such a great idea, because that was how one member of our family developed an inability to thrive in the kitchen. So I took them under my wings and S seems to have a profound interest in it.

We took my mother's bread pudding recipe and I told S to write it down on her own recipe card. This was probably early this year, but she made it herself while I snapped and filmed them. She even managed to put it in the oven herself, under my supervision.

Since it's fall, and since I have a crazy love for bulbs, we grabbed a box of daffodil bulbs when we went to Aldi. I had the kids plant them, but of course, S was the master gardener. I won't be surprised if she becomes the master seamstress soon.

"I want to take the sewing class too!" said H.

"Oh, why?" I asked.

"Because I want to be like Muhammad SAW," he replied.

All as a result of my handiwork telling them that the prophet mended his own clothes.

Well, we'll see. As of now, I just realized that this pregnancy is smack dab in the throes of the school year. Nine months of schooling, that's the nine months I'm occupying with the pregnancy. S is going to have her reading, writing and math tests on my due date. I hope my mother will be able to come. Hubby will be running around for sure, as he already is now.

A little taller and I would have taught S how to cook simple stuff. Right now, her face is just a little above the stove level; pretty dangerous. For now, she can whip up that mean bread pudding, white rice in the rice cooker, cookies and muffins following kid-friendly recipes, and pancakes and pizza with hubby.

I can't wait for spring! I hope the daffodils will sprout up just as nicely as our hyacinths did this year. If all goes well, I will finally have my dream of having a 'spring baby' come true.

Insyaallah...

Aspiring to be...

Last week, on Seats of Scholars, Muhammad Alshareef talked about Imam Ahmad Hanbal in Under the Shade of Scrolls. The week before he talked about Imam Shafie and the week before we covered the lecture on both Imam Abu Hanifah and Imam Malik.

One recurring theme in the lives of the four imams : their mothers' dedication towards their Islamic education.

Imam Malik, was scolded to the point of crying by his father when he wasn't able to answer the question his father asked.

"You were playing with the birds too much!" was his father's reprimand, for Imam Malik used to play with birds, and maybe now we can liken that obsession with the obsession over the latest video game.

Imam Malik went crying to his mother, and as a result, the very next day, his mother took him to Masjid An Nabawi to seek a really good teacher to teach him.

Imam Shafie, was poor and had to be represented by someone from his town. His power of memorization proved his worth. Not being able to afford any writing materials, he memorized everything that was taught. Look at us now and our laptops, fancy notebooks and such, and we're still not able to retain what we learned.

Imam Abu Hanifah's dad once reprimanded him for taking out Hammad Ibn Abi Sulayman's garbage. After Hammad's death, all the people gathered in front of his house, and only then did Imam Abu Hanifah's father realize the virtue of Hammad Ibn Abi Sulayman and the wisdom of his son in serving this great teacher in order to learn as much from him as possible.

Imam Ahmad was also poor but the thing that touched me the most about his story was his relationship with his son, Abdullah. As Muhammad Alshareef put it, when fathers today would ask his son to play some ball, Imam Ahmad would ask Abdullah to play 'hadith ball'. Father would ask son to recite ahadeeth without the isnad and father would then say the whole list of isnad. There was also the scene where a man cursed Imam Ahmad in front of little Abdullah. All strings of expletives came out and what did Imam Ahmad do? He took Abdullah's hand and led him out of the masjid in silence.

Imam Ahmad was the only one who maintained that one has to make wudhu' after eating camel meat. Just like the people of today, the people of that time then asked him,

"If someone eats camel meat and then makes salat without making wudhu', would you pray behind him?"

This issue of praying behind someone who is not from your mazhab is also prevalent today. What did Imam Ahmad answer?

"Would I not pray behind Imam Shafie? Would I not pray behind Imam Malik? Would I not pray behind Imam Abu Hanifah?"

What a beautiful answer. These Imams were students of one another. The issues were issues of ijitihad and when there is issue of ijtihad, you cannot say that another person is wrong.

As I reflected on the eight year old boy reciting Yaseen (previous entry), and what his parents have gone through to find him that kind of education, I slumped in despair, thinking I would never find anyone to teach my children. We want our children to grow up to be good Muslims, but we should always aim for the stars. It's definitely a different path but it's a worthwhile path indeed insyaallah.

May Allah lead us to people who will guide us and bring us to greater heights of iman. Ameen.

Right now, we have one source of shaytannic activities that still needs to be thrown out. May Allah guide us all. Ameen.

Oh Allah, give me patience and wisdom and let not my tongue speak out in harshness in response to the rising hatred I feel in my heart for that object and what it brings into the household. In my twenties, I would have spoken out impromptu, but I have realized that it's not always necessarily productive. In fact, it can be very counter productive, so let me just nurse my aching heart while building up the hikmah to carry out the conveyance of this important message I have always intended to deliver in the most gentle and non-provoking way.

I do not want another child brought up in its presence. In reaching for the stars, we need as natural an environment as we can get.

A child reciting the Quran in a very beautiful voice

Masyaallah! May Allah grant us patience, wisdom, and knowledge to raise righteous children. Ameen. This makes me want to find a teacher for the kids ASAP.

Blessed

I feel blessed. I feel loved. This time on my back, on my knees, over the toilet bowl, staring at the ceiling in the dark while trying to quell the rising digested food up my throat has left me with more than enough time to ponder on what I have before me.

It has been ten years since I stepped into the world of the twenties. My eldest is almost 10 years old. My mother is constantly reminding me that I'm still young and energetic even though I feel worn and tatttered. Maybe that's why she keeps reminding me.

I still cannot believe my eyes when I look at the three growing beings in my house, squabbling, chatting, laughing, screaming and sleeping. I look at myself in the mirror and I see someone who has been transformed, in so many ways. I have had many personal issues with myself, and I have come to realize that Allah has bestowed on me a number of tests that have indirectly or maybe directly forced me to deal with those issues.

As I browsed through hubby's blog, I came across a post where he had listed all of our birthdates according to the Islamic calendar. I didn't even remember that I was born in Ramadan even though my mother did tell me once. I immediately thought of the blessings of that month, and I wondered if my coming into the world was blessed as well. I could have turned out very different and I still could, but nauzubillah.

Having children at a young age, I was forced to change my lifestyle, and it was a very harried life experience, though if given the choice, I would have done it all over again with some minor changes. I was forced to 'grow up' and find my inner strength within, which I never knew existed. It is true that when Allah tests you, it is within your capacity to handle it, because Allah will never burden a soul beyond what it can bear. Those tests bring out the strength in you, strength you never know you had. Subhanallah.

I have to say I missed the typical 'youth' especially here in the US, but I gained a different life experience which I now realize play a lot into my decisions and outlook. For about 7-8 years I battled with my identity, stuck in that "what do I want to be when I grow up' journey. I finally found myself alhamdulillah. I have matured but I have to say I had a delayed growth.

I have entered a new stage in my life as my children matures. They define my life ever since they were born. Not to say I don't have my own identity, but a mother I will always be. I can be soemthing else, but I will never cease being a mother. The more reason to pitch most of my energy into it as it is my investment for the hereafter.

I realize that as we move on to a new stage in our lives especially as we move into a new circle of people, I will be facing new challenges. I'm not that eager to move on, but I don't want to be complacent either. I do want to move on, but on the right track.

I feel blessed and I feel loved. Alhamdulillah. I don't know if I have earned Allah's blessings but Allah is so full or mercy that when we don't deserve it we get it anyway. I need to make a will. Both hubby and I need to make our wills. This earth should be our prison, not our paradise. Life is a toil, humans were created in toil. I can't wait to go 'home', but I don't know if I've prepared enough. I don't think I have and it scares me to death (no pun intended).

May Allah always keep us focused on what's truly important in our lives (plural for double meaning). Ameen.

I'm so afraid of being beguiled by the temptations of this world. It's not easy.

May Allah give us friends who will always remind and guide us to the right path. Ameen.

I love all my sisters and brothers for the sake of Allah, some more than others, depending on what truly matters to Allah.

May Allah purify our hearts and keep us from bickering about petty things.

May Allah give us sincerity and sisterly love to sustain the ummah and bring it to new heights.

May Allah forgive our sins and help our suffering brethens everywhere.

May we all meet in Jannah.

"When you worship Allah, you have to have this three things: hope, love and fear. When you do something, you fear Allah's punishment, but we also hope for His forgiveness and reward. But you don't do something just because you fear Allah, you do it because you want to please Allah because you love Him. These are the three pillars of Ibadah. You have to have all of them, not just one or two. There are people who just hope, and they keep on doing bad things while hoping Allah to forgive them and grant them Jannah. There are people who just fear and they end up saying no to everything. There are people who just love and they say it's all about love. So it's all three together that we need to worship Allah," I explained to H and N, an impromptu tauheed lesson, yesterday.

They nodded.

May we always be showered with His guidance. Ameen.

Crammed & catching up

Money Matters:

Me: "How are you going to help me with the baby?"

H: "Play with it?"

H: "Oh, I know! I'm going to use my money to buy it stuff! You know if it costs $199, I think all those 20s should be enough!"

And there I was thinking of some help with diapers.


Crackin' jokes:

Hubby: "That's totally upside down."

H: "That's why it's called Total!"

Hubby pretends to scratch side of trunk with chair so he could laugh.

Audience please laugh at H's joke.


Hope & fear:

Me: "Do you want to go see the ultrasound like last time?"

S: "Yeah."

Me: "What if the thing last time happens again? Would that be ok?"

S: "No." (sounded very subdued and quiet)

N: "We shouldn't be too excited."

Me: "Insyaallah it won't, but if it happens, it happens, ok?"

New glasses:

S: "Everything looks so clear. Before, everything looks blurry, and I thought it was like that, but now I can see Abi teaching H clearly."

Poor girl.


On the outside:

N: "You look ugly."

S:"Ummi, N said something."

Me worry. Need to talk to N.

Another time in the store.

S:"Ummi, N just stuck her tongue out at me."

Me Really Worry. She sounds like one of those mean girls.

Me: "N, do you only like people who are pretty?"

N nodded.

Me: "That's not nice. Remember Musaylamah Al Kazzhaab? He was handsome but look what he did. Julaybib, he was a small man, no one liked to be with him but where is he now? He died shaheed and he's probably now in one of those green birds next to Allah's throne."


Unsympathetic:

Me: "Kids, I feel like I need to throw up!"

Kids: "Go!"

Hijab:

Me:"If someone tells you to take off your hijab, what would you do?"

S:"No way!"

Me:"Why?"

S:"Because I'm not going to take it off! I'll just say I'll go to another store, thank you."

Me:"Ok, but what if it's something more serious than that?"

S: "I'm not going to take it off."

Me:"Here, in this country, you have a right to practice your religion, so they don't have any right telling yo to take it off, ok. It's like if you tell them to take off their shorts and panties. Do you think they would do that? I don't think so, so just know that."

H: "Ummi said something funny! She said to S if she would take off her hijab and then and then she said we ask the person to take her panties off. Hahahahaha!"

Ok, maybe I was too direct. Oops!


I felt the need to record these and even then I feel like I have left out a lot more. My mind cannot keep everything in it and since these are precious moments, I just have to jot them down.

H is flourishing in his soccer endeavor.
H is also flourishing in his basketball endeavor.
S is enjoying her sewing class.
S is enjoying her math class every Thursday.
S & N are enjoying their Arabic clas every Tuesday.
S has glasses, got them yesterday.
They're correcting my Surah Yusuf while I'm inching so slowly ahead.
H is doing his Al Mutaffifeen.
N is picking up here and there.
S is developing her own personality, and is growing.
I'm both awed and scared.
She's going to turn 10 insyaallah.
Her five prayers are now complete.
I'm hanging on.

Ramadan Mubarak!

Second day.

Saturday, H played a very good soccer game. However, we let him break his fast soon after since he was running up and down the field in both quarters that he played.

I suffered the first day, but mostly the suffering occurred post Iftar. Today, I didn't fast. Tomorrow, I'm going to try again insyaallah.

The kids, all fasted today, albeit with some,

"How many more minutes?"

Yesterday, I was the one asking N to ask hubby,

"How many more minutes?"

Today, H asked me at 1:22 pm, "How many more minutes?"

"Seven hours," I said.

At 3 pm he asked again.

He and S napped and at around 6:30 pm he played soccer with hubby. They all survived the day alhamdulillah.

I was so tired and incapacitated that I didn't do what we usually do every Ramadan : Ramadan chain, giant crossword puzzle and fasting chart. I asked hubby to do the chain for me. We have yet to put it up at the top of the stairs. We have yet to print the charts too. I need to make them again. I feel bad for the kids. This Ramadan, I abandoned them because I myself am too sick. Last year, S fasted a full Ramadan. N fasted all but a few days because she was sick and H fasted 10 full days. This year, the days are longer than last year. I wonder how they will fare. The hours this years are the same with the hours of fasting in Malaysia, though, so it should be good training for when we go back home insyaallah.

Hubby was eating white rice, Somali beef, A's salad and eggplant sauce. I sat next to him, and asked for a few finger scoops.

"Only beef and rice," I said.

After while I realized that my food inclination is more towards the simple ones.

"Wow, this baby is only going for simple food. White rice, bread, boiled eggs," I said.

"A soldier insyaallah," said hubby.

"Yeah, Abdullah Ibn Zubair, insyaallah," I said, more to myself than a reply to him.

I never thought of that. Subhanallah! I do want a son like Abdullah Ibn Zubair. He was all over History of the Khulafa, and he was the one I kept telling the kids about.

As N passed by, I noticed her right pocket bulging.

"What is that?" I asked as I grabbed her pocket.

Candies. I felt candies. She escaped my grip and ran into the kitchen.

Hubby smiled. I giggled.

"N, did you break your fast before you broke your fast?" I asked.

"No!"

After some feet stomping in the kitchen, S came to N's aid and said,

"She just put them in her pockets, but she didn't eat them."

I remembered a piece of candy next to H on the couch, when I was waking him up for Asr.

"Did you eat it?" I asked him.

"N put it there," he replied.

Apparently, N, with her generous spirit, had taken some candy that was supposed to be my 'cure' from nausea, stuffed her pocket, and gave some to H. She meant to eat them after Iftar.

"Ummi, you're gonna be fat," she said as she looked at the candies.

I tried sucking on the candy, but I've come to the conclusion that whatever I take that is supposed to alleviate the nausea, only masks it. If it's coming, it's coming, baby!

This is only the second day. This Ramadan, I'm struggling to fast more than the kids. It's not a good feeling, because I feel like hubby has to bear everything. May this not be my last Ramadan, for I miss encouraging the kids and making Ramadan a big deal for them. But if it is, may my children grow up to be righteous insyaallah. Ameen.

Dum Dum Pops

"Ummi, you coming outside?"

"We'll see," I replied.

H had his soccer practice on Wednesday. I was nauseous as usual but somehow the fresh air outside made me feel better, though the fact that I still threw up when we got home probably sent that theory down the drain.

Nevertheless, I went outside.

"Yay!" S was exhilirated that I actually stepped outside to witness the neighborhood soccer game.

"I'll get you a chair!"

She actually did and I sat there like an invalid, watching H and hubby playing with the neighborhood boys. The only thing differentiating me and them was the Muslim attire. Otherwise, people might have thought BV was pure mini China.

"Ummi, can we eat this?" H came and gave me a lollipop that one of the Chinese boys had given him.

I groaned inside. I was in no mood to check the ingredients, but I managed to delay it till today.

"H, can you get me some dates? Hurry, I feel like throwing up!" I said.

"Can I eat he lollipop?" he asked.

"No, not yet."

"If you check the lollipop, I'll get you the dates," he said.

At any other time, I would have reacted differently, but it did seem unfair that I kept stalling checking the ingredients for reasons of laziness, so I told him to bring it upstairs.

The wrapping was all twisted, and I was about to give it up, but I spied the website.

"Ok, it's dumdumpops.com," I said, and typed in the URL.

I went through the FAQ but didn't find any listed ingredients, so I emailed them my question.

"Can we eat it now?" H asked.

"No, we have to wait for them to answer."

I realized that H can be very persistent. He wouldn't take an unexplained no for an answer. (translate that into more work for me)

A while later I received an email.

"Kids! Come here! It's dum dum!"

(Why don't they come up with better names??)

I let them all read the reply:

Dum Dums contain sugar, corn syrup, citric acid, malic acid, salt, artificial flavor, and artificial color. They are free of gelatin, lard, and alcohol.

If you need additional information please let us know.

Spangler Candy Company

"So we can eat it?"

I nodded.

Dum Dum Pops. Even I played the game on the website. Dum Dum Pops.

PERFECT JUSTICE: Debunking the Male Bias Myth - by Yasir Qadhi

ILMFEST April 22, 2006 Rosemont Convention Center, Chicago, IL EmanRush Audio, the exclusive audio label of AlMaghrib Institute, provides you with high quality lectures to stimulate your mind with reflections of your deen. Perfect Justice: Debunking the Male Bias Myth by Shaykh Yasir Qadhi discusses the common bias existing in today's society concerning women in Islam.