Inherited Traits

"I have to call Mummy and tell her that her cucu can now bake by herself," I said to hubby.

"S has her baking grandma AND the running grandma," I continued while he did the dishes.

"N has her drawing grandma, AND also the other drawing grandma her father didn't know about," I added with a chuckle.

We recently found out that my MIL has some artistic abilities which hubby was unaware of. Apparently, there's a lot about her he didn't know, as I found out when she was here.

"And H, hmmm H has his talking mama," I began to chortle.

A smile formed on hubby's lips. Encouraged I continued,

"his laughing mama, chattering mama..." and I never finished because H came dashing straight at me, trying to make me stop, while I helplessly laughed.

"H, if you say something funny, and no one laughs, except you, then it's not funny. If Ummu laughs, either she's being kind or it's still not funny. You see when Ummu makes jokes, and she laughs, but no one else does, that means it's not funny."

Hubby declares my jokes to be flat, and his wittingly side-tickling. H has now adopted hubby's style of joking, mostly twisting words, that at times brought to an enlightening "Wha?"

"That's why I want another son. I ruined this one," said hubby when I told him that H is now a walking joke book.

Recently H asked for a comic book at the store. I told him we'd find it at the library and when we did, he asked the librarian himself. We came home with Garfield comics and joke books. Oh, since then we were constantly blasted with joke questions which we had to answer. He wouldn't even let anyone else read the book for fear of us knowing the answers. What a racket he carried out when his sisters took a peek at the book.

I wondered if he even understood the jokes. He claims he does. Some that he doesn't, he claims not to understand, but he grinned anyway. That Cheshire cat grin of his, which, he inherited from me.

As for hubby, well, at least now he has found a match: his own progeny. Mouth for mouth.

All By Herself

My firstborn baked cookies ALL by herself yesterday! I had lapsed into re researching homeschooling and relized that it' not all about academics, but also about attaining skills based on each child's interests.

I had also asked each of them how they learn best.

N: listening

S: visual and hands on

H: visual and hands on


For summer, H asked for an active endeavor. Since all the other sports have fees, I told him tennis, because it's free. He's so enthusiastic about it that he reminded me about it when I had already forgotten about it. When I asked who wanted to play tennis, only he and N raised their hands. I wondered why S didn't want to when she has a natural athletic ability. I then asked her,

"Do you want to take the cake decorating class again?"

She nodded emphatically.

Bingo! This girl is into domestic stuff. The only difference between me and her is athletic ability. So yesterday I told her she can bake cookies. She understood enough that it meant, her doing it alone, all by herself.

I told them to choose a recipe, let me look at the ingredients for approval. After they did, S set to work and measured out all the ingredients by herself. Of course, she already knew how to level off the dry ingredients when measuring them after watching me countless times. So I din't have to do much coaching, much to my surprise.

I cooked dinner while S and N make their cookies, N with a lot of singing and chirping, while S seriously concentrating on her tasks. I only had to aid her in clipping on the paddle whip on the Kitchen Aid and assuring her that her sugar-butter-egg mixture looked fine.

"But it looks wrong," she said.

"No, it's fine," I said, and left her to it to attend to my beef, kofta and 'masjid masjid rice'. H had complained that he prefers masjid masjid rice as compared to masjid rice, which was actually just a concoction I made up when whipping up the Basmati rice. So I made the proper 'masjid rice' which has now become 'masjid masjid rice'.

S put the cookie sheets in the oven herself, took it out herself and I had to help her take the cookies of the sheet, but that's about it. They cleaned up themselves and I simply washed the dirty dishes.

To top it off, the cookies are "the best I've ever tasted!" Seriously, they chose a perfect recipe. I myself don't like to bake cookies just because I have to sit in front of the oven as compared to baking cakes. I had never tasted a cookie like that. For someone who loves chocolate, the cookies are just heavenly.

I went to bed last night thinking, "My little girl baked her own cookied all by herself!"

Bridge the Gap

We did Bridges today, from the Building Big Series. S was the only one who chose to do her report on the computer, and what a great job she did too! Masyaallah. Observing how she's watching the documentary and picking up terms, I would say she's improving a whole lot in understanding science.
H on the other hand, doesn't pay much attention but seems to get the concept pretty well. The problem comes up AFTER the program when I told him todo a report on the computer. He ended up bawling. Then I told him to do it on paper. He ended up bawling too. I asked him if he wanted to manually build the bridge and he nodded. My befuddlement increasing and patience decreasing, I gave him the materials with which to build his bridge. He ended up crying again because the clay kept breaking. Either he's having a bad day or I badly need to find out what to do with his learning style.
I used to have a tough problem with S, with regards to teaching method. She seemed to frown at everything I tried. Now alhamdulillah she displays some enthusiasm when we try different activities.

In the most recent conference, their teacher suggested a ball tossing game. I told her that S doesn't like to discuss a story. So she told me to make a game out of it. Toss a ball, and whoever catches it, gets to answer the question. I tried it today, and well, let's just say, they all broke out giggling and laughing, and the questions got answered.

N seems to have developed an affinity to truss bridges, and she claims it's because she oves triangles. Because we have been to the east coast the end of last year, I manage to make the lesson more related to them. The Brooklyn Bridge, the Manhattan Bridge, the Benjamin Franklin Bridge are all on my laptop. I'm glad I took those photos.

Rush Hour

"Stay with me. Don't run by yourself in the parking lot. The cars can't see you."

"Of course the car can't see us."

"Yeah. That's why you should stick with me. If they can't see you, and they back up, they might run over you, Nauzubillah."

"No. The cars can't see us. The driver of the car can't see us."

Nowhere in that conversation did I ever think of what I was saying. All because I was in a rush, which always seems to be the case for the past ten years of my married life. My response to that 'duuh' moment, was a silent smile. A 'silent smile'. Now maybe that's another one of my 'rush hour' phrases.

An astute six year old with a penchant for words will quickly jump on my 'rush hour' statements and tear them from lifeless limb to lifeless limb. Even then, I am usually not bothered to retrace my steps and reword my statements, because I have so many other things to do.

Today however, my 'rush hour' attitude was humbled to the knees. How daft was I to say "the cars can't see you,"? More importantly, how daft I was to expect my intelligent children to just swallow that without retorting.

Many a times I bug hubby to stop and smell the flowers. Many a times I'm the one who rushes past everything in attempts to multitask. Were it not for these little people living in my house, occupying most of my 'worry' chamber in my brain, eating up my energy since they were born, I would never have stopped to think of what I was saying. Were it not for them, I would have sounded so...daft. Then again, which parent doesn't?

Indianapolis

We went to Indianapolis last weekend, to attend Fiqh of Love. H was struck by the flu virus the previous weekend and N and S were right inthr throes of it by last Friday. Despite that, we went anyway. I have been waiting to take this class since 2004.

It was not easy. N coughed through the night, and she burned up. Alhamdulillah though, I had brought H to the doctor before we left for Indianapolis. At least I know what I'm dealing with.

In Saturday, I had to bring N with me to the class, but sat outside since they had a policy that wouldn't allow children in the class. The rest of the time, they sat with the babysitter.

Now, N and S are coughing and I just brought them to the doctor again. It's the same strain that H got, though N's coughing is worse than H's. I feel bad for bringing them in the first place but this might be the last Fiqh Of Love class for a while. I have a feeling that I'd be next since I was laden with a headache on Saturday after not being able to sleep at night with a burning and coughing N next to me. The timing was just off, but I'm still determined to attend the class.

I hope we can arrange to leave them with someone here in Columbus this weekend, since I don't think it's a good idea to drag them through the trip to Indianapolis again. Insyaallah, may Allah make it easy. Ameen.

For the sake of Allah, hubby and I HAVE to take this class. I have learned so much already, subhanallah.

Once They Turn Seven

Hadith - Dawud, Narrated As-Saburah

[Also recorded by Ahmand and al-Hakim. Al-Suyuti has give in a notation signifying that it is authentic. Al-Albani has graded it hasan. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol. 2, p. 1021.]

The Prophet said: Order your children to pray at the age of seven. And beat them [lightly] if they do not do so by the age of ten. And separate them in their bedding.


We don't celebrate birthdays. The only thing we do is acknowledge that they are one year older.

"You're seven now. Do you feel seven?"

"No."

We stopped celebrating birthdays the moment we stepped foot in the United States. By the time S turned one, we have stopped the birthday celebration, so our children have never had a 'proper birthday'. As they grew older, I have had to explain to them why we don't celebrate birthdays.

Of course it's not an easy thing to instill because everywhere they turn, they will either have people asking them, "When's your birthday?" or people exclaiming, "It's your birthday today? Happy Birthday!"

Once, our Korean neighbor gave S a birthday present. Apparently she had asked S way before that when her birthday was and S told her. It was one awkward moment, but I explained to her that we don't celebrate birthdays. She didn't really get it, and the next year she gave S a birthday present again. I explained to her again. I told her that I would have to give the present to S on another day, not as a birthday present. She understood and the birthday gifts stopped coming though other gifts still remained, and we in turn gave her son some gifts too.

I suppose the concept is not only difficult for non Muslims to understand, but also for Muslims. I'm not going to go into the whole thing, but suffice it say that celebrations are part of the shari'ah and whatever is not legislated in the shari'ah, shouldn't be done.

What I have done is, to gift them on occasions of accomplishments. In my personal opinion, it's better than gifting them on the occasion of turning one year older. Giving them gifts when they accomplish something is more meaningful than making a big deal out of gaining one more year, though being thankful for it is another matter. Not celebrating birthdays doesn't mean we take away their chances of receiving gifts, for gift giving in Islam does not require turning one year older. I understand where most people are coming from in arguing about the benefits and lack of harm in celebrating birthdays but I just hope and pray that they will truly understand the wisdom behind the prohibition of celebrating anything other than what Allah has legislated : the two Eids.

One thing I have accidentally discovered is celebrating the moment when they turn seven. Referring back to the hadith above, it seems to me that there is a 'celebration' to be held once a child turns seven: the commencement of the the training in worshipping Allah. The celebration I mean does not require cakes, parties or invitations, but only requires maybe a prayer garment or a personal prayer rug for a boy.

When S turned seven, I made her a prayer garment with a fabric I had her choose at the store. We put forth efforts to make her feel 'big and important' enough to be able to officially join us in prayer regularly. Every year after that, they will keep on adding prayer after prayer until they have all five prayers. I'm aiming by age ten for them to get used to performing all five prayers regularly through a gradual method.

Life is full of milestones. Passing each milestone is a celebration in itself. There is no need for yearly cakes or parties despite the societal pressure. We can have our celebrations any time we want, for meaningful occasions, to celebrate accomplishments, that are not set for a specific date and repeated on a regular basis. It's the celebration of accomplishments that should be stressed on, rather than the superficial celebration of age accumulation which in essence doesn't really mean anything other than being a year older. The celebration of remembering the day one was born doesn't really mean anything either. If it truly was a cause for celebration, the Prophet SAW would have done it. Being thankful for being granted a longer life shouldn't necessarily fall on a certain day either, but most importantly, the only Eids (which is defined as yearly celebrations) we should partake in are the two: Eid al Fitr and Eid al Adha, as ordained by Allah.

So instead of surrounding them with presents when they turned seven, I offered my daughters a priceless gift: to be a worshipper 'in training'. May Allah instill in our hearts a steadfastness of worshipping Him with the sincerest intention and utmost concentration. And may Allah protect us from falling prey to the many tricks of Shaytaan. Ameen.

The Chosen Prayer

238. Guard strictly (five obligatory) As­Salawât (the prayers) especially the middle Salât (i.e. the best prayer ­ 'Asr).[] And stand before Allâh with obedience [and do not speak to others during the Salât (prayers)]. AL Baqarah (2:238)

"Buraidahu (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He who misses the `Asr Salat (deliberately), his deeds will be rendered null and void.'' [Al-Bukhari]. So that means, if you miss Asr, all your good deeds will be gone."

S looked at me, and asked,

"Did I ever do that?"

"Hmm, I don't know, let me think. No. Oh! Yeah I think you did that once."

"Oh no! All my good deeds are gone?"

"Well, you're still a child, I don't think so."

On another occasion, we were supposed to go to the library, and had to drop hubby off at his office which was on the way and pick him up on the way home from the library.

"So what time are you gonna pick me up?" hubby asked.

"Four," I said.

"No! Before four, Ummi," S protested.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Because we might be late for Asr. We have to make wudhu' and everything and we might be late if we pick Abi up at four."

She looked desperate. I was silently surprised but considering her shock at realizing that her good deeds might have all gone to waste for missing Asr, I supressed a chuckle and assured her that we wouldn't be late for Asr.

The method by which I introduced them to salat was to choose one of two choices. I had given S a choice between Asr and maghrib. The first one she chose was Asr. Despite better judgment, I somewhat tried to convice her to choose maghrib because I thought that Asr would most likely interrupt her playtime. To prevent her from despising the interruptions, I had thought it best to choose maghrib, where she would most probably be in the house anyway. She insisted on Asr, and hubby told me to let her. I complied.

It was after reading the ayat above, and the hadith that comes with it that I was jolted into the realization that she had truly chosen one of the best prayers.

As she became more attuned to the movements and recitation in her Asr, I let her choose one more prayer, and this time she chose maghrib. When she turned eight, I let her choose one more. To my surprise and bewilderment, she chose Fajr. Again, I dumbly protested, saying that it will be too early and once she chose it, there's no way of getting out of it. In a way, I felt like someone who's trying to find excuses to wear the hijab. I have heard these kinds of excuses before; "I don't want to wear it because I might take it off and that's worse than not wearing it in the first place." Inwardly, I felt ashamed of myself, and of course relented to her choice. Inside, I wondered if she would stick to that commitment and not give me the trouble of getting her to wake up every morning.

So far, she has stayed true to her commitment, Alhamdulillah. In fact, that really surprised me because I remember being caned for not waking up for Fajr in my teen years. I was not a Fajr person. So I was in a bit of confusion to see my eight year old wake up every morning with no complaints.

Again, without my knowing it, she had chosen the other best prayer. Subhanallah!

When N turned seven, I offered her a prayer to choose. She chose Asr, following in her big sister's footsteps. Her second one is maghrib. I haven't let her make a third choice yet, because her performance of the two that she's committed to is not yet satisfactory. However, I have a feeling that her third choice would be Fajr. Everytime we wake S up for Fajr, N's eyes would be wide open. It's only a matter of time before she actually gets out of bed, performs wudhu', and bow and prostrate with us, Insyaallah.

S have been praying for almost two years now. I have come to the realization that once your child prays, you are bound in an unbreakable contract. This depends on how attuned you are to the observance of prayer. Of course you cannot expect your children to perform prayers perfectly if you are languid and sluggish when it comes to prayer.

Many a times I find myself reminding them to pray when they go to other people's house in the time span where those prayers will come in. Many a times I find myself frantic that they might forget. Many a times I find myself worrying over the prayers more than over whether they eat or not. Many a times I catch myself reminding them over and over again. Many a times I find myself interrogating them afterwards. Many a times I realize that they do perform their prayers. And many a times I find myself sounding strange to people who might overhear a mother repeatedly reminding her children to pray more than anything. However, that in itself struck me hard.

"If she deosn't wear hijab, she's committing a sin. But if she doesn't pray, she might not be a Muslim," said hubby one time when I expressed my worries over hijab.

I worry a lot as a mother, as I'm sure all mothers do. I guess it's part of the job description.

It's not easy making sure that your child/ren observe their prayers. That's only one aspect of parenting. It's a huge responsibility. May Allah help us all in producing future generations that will benefit the ummah as a whole insyaallah.

Chunnel

After the 'success' of Dam Day, we scoured through the media section, well, I did, of the library to find the other DVDs in that series. I pounced upon 'Tunnels'.

Today the DVD is due. So we watched it this morning. The beginning was about reports of ghost siting in a tunnel, which truth be told, gave me a few chills. Towards the end of the program, we stumbled upon some fast facts about the Hoosac Tunnel pertaining to ghost sitings even up to this day.

"It must be the jinns. There're no such things as ghosts."

"Yeah, and it's in the mountains too, so it must be the jinns."

When we saw the Holland Tunnel, we exclaimed with excitement, because last year, in December, we had the opportunity to actually traverse the length of that tunnel from New York City going into New Jersey. The traffic wasn't so fabulous, but we can rightfully say we went through the Holland Tunnel.

H didn't pay much attention during the documentary, or was it during my flat explanation. Sometimes it's so frustrating to teach and having to repeat the same thing over and over again. I'm not best known for patience in the first place, so this homeschooling thing is a very big struggle for me. I have to say that the professors have it way way easier than the elementary school teachers. They can just lecture, give out quizzes or exams, and the rest is up to the students. Elementary school teachers, on the other hand, are paid less than the professors, but have more work to contend with, in my opinion. High school teachers deserve that attention too because as we all know, teenagers are not the easiest people to handle.

However, of course, to be fair, everything has their pros and cons and everyone has his/her own struggle which cannot be judged superficially.

Just yesterday I was battling this difficulty in teaching N. Wewere doing a two step math problem that we had started doing since the day before. I stopped halfway because she didn't get it. I tried again yesterday and I lost patience again. I'm afraid of attempting it again today.

This is N. Her personality is so, shall we say, dynamic, that at one time, she can charm you out of your wits, and another, she can irritate you to your core. We noticed that she has trouble focusing or keeping her attention on one thing. Even while reciting Quran, she tends to move about from a sitting position to a lying position. I've read that maybe we should use the stress ball on her, because when we absorb something, we have this need to move our body. Kids cannot control it, so we should redirect the need to something that will not disrupt the teaching.

The question was: Jane gave 31 leaves to the caterpillars on Tuesday. The caterpillars ate 9 more than they did on Monday. How many leaves are left?

While we were solving how many leaves the caterpillars ate, she had to go through the concept of adding to get that number. By the time we were done and ready to proceed with the next part of the problem, she has forgotten about the inital bigger problem. Today, I still am apprehensive about another attempt to make her get it, because I know I would just lose it at her dull, flat, blank expression.

I think what makes it so hard for me is the fact that there are not many homeschoolers here in Columbus. A sister did try to make a group but there were only three families. They live relatively close to each other, but not me. I found it troublesome to get together, and on top of that, our children are very different in age. So that didn't pan out very well.

That's the main reason I want to move out of Columbus. I honestly can't do this anymore, all by myself. I've been hanging on for these past 3-4 years, and I'm about ready to give up. Homeschooling is best done as a group effort, not a lone one. Today is not a bad day, but I'm just laying out the reality. There is probably more that I can do, but in some way or another they all require money, and there's three of the kids. We can't afford it yet. Hubby is not totally into this whole thing either. I had had to repeatedly make him realize that I can't do it alone, and in order to solve that problem, we're going to have to spend some money and expend some extra effort. Since he's the one churning out the dough, I don't totally feel comfortable spending money even if it's for the kids. So we'll see how things work out insyaallah. Truly, Allah is Merciful and won't put a burden that is beyond what we can bear. And maybe this is the 'struggle of my life'. Maybe this is the roil and toil that will make me of stronger substance, insyaallah. In the end, since it's all for Allah, and Allah is Fair, I will get what I deserve, if not here, in the hereafter.

As for the children, they are tests from Allah. Homeschooling won't necessarily make them good people, it's just an effort. I cn't guarantee I will turn out 100% good Muslims at the end of all this, but at least I can answer to Allah when He asks me about my responsibility. Whatever I do, if it's not the will of Allah, will not happen. Dua is always the hidden determiner of one's fate. That's my other hidden tool. Insyaallah.

Learning Arabic

Our journey to mastering Arabic has been one that has had many ups and downs, trials and errors, mostly on my part, of course.

The little Arabic I gained from five years of it in high school, I'm embarassed to say, is truly little. I can understand maybe like 20% of what is recited of the Quran, and what is exchanged between Arabs in their extremely 'speedy' conversations.

Gateway to Arabic by Dr. Imran Hamza Alawiye is what I use now to teach the kids Arabic.

The Arabic CD I use, I bought when they were toddlers. We still use it now and Alhamdulillah i think it is really beneficial in enriching their vocabulary. We also have
Alif Ba Ta Yaseen which I also like.

We are in book two for the 'Gateway to Arabic' for S and N, but still book one for H, since he hasn't yet mastered the art of connecting the Arabic letters. S's writing is very good and neat, even from a few years back Masyaallah, as can be seen from her writing of Surah Al-Aadiyat in the previous post. We struggled with her scrawly writing in English, but for some reason, her Arabic handwriting seems to be very well arranged. Whatever it is, Alhamdulillah.

The first step to teaching Arabic, in my opinion is attaining vocabulary. This is also how we learn any other languages. Book one teaches individual letters, and how to connect them. Whether a letter is Al Qamariah(The moon letters) or As-shamsiah (the sun letters) is also taught in Book One.

Book Two moves on to gender, which I think is a somewhat difficult aspect of Arabic, especially when it comes to nouns that are feminine depending on what they are. Body parts for example are feminine in Arabic regardless of having a ta marbuta or not. Earth in Arabic is feminine even though it doesn't have a ta marbuta. These, I don't teach the kids yet, as it might confuse them at this point.

However, we did go in to the muannas (feminine) and muzakkar(masculine) words. the way of differentiation that they know is whether the word has a ta marbuta or not. That's the general rule. So far, they are handling it well Alhamdulillah.

Nest step is to introduce the word Haaza (this is (masculine)) and haazihi(this is (feminine)). This is when things start to get a litte bit more complicated. However, it's good practice and comparatively easy. After they have gotten the hang of stringing together 'this is' and a noun, adjectives are introduced.

So now, instead of just constructing a sentence, "This is a house," they have to construct the sentence, "This is a big house."

Introducing the adjectives were quite a feat for me, for I had to figure out a way for them to remember the words. So we had a little charade. I'd never do this in public. They got a kick out of my silly actions depicting 'big', 'small', 'light','heavy','tall', and 'short'. Even I got a kick of it, thinking, I hope no one videotapes me.

I also began to write the arabic words for items in their room on index cards and taping them onto the items. However, that soon failed as the labels fell off and I gave up.

For a while we abandoned Arabic because I was too tired. Every now and then we would visit it again. ALl the while I realized consistency is the key. Alhamdulillah they didn't forget what they learned, not yet anyway and I was able to resume our lessons.

At one time, N even said to me while we were unpacking the groceries in the kitchen, "This is 3eenaab(grapes)."

N seems to have a natural skill for acquiring language. She's the only one who didn't have difficulty saying 'R'. She doesn't speak a lot, but when she does, she does it perfectly, ALhamdulillah. So naturally, she picks up Arabic quicker than S and H, or even me.

Now, I would say a sentence in Arabic, and they have to write it down in Arabic. So far, it seems to be working well. When they master this stage insyaallah, we'll move on to the next, which is using conjunctions.

Pretty soon, I'll be out of their league and would have to sit in class WITH them under a more qualified teacher. Insyaallah. O Allah, please make it easy for us to learn the language of the Quran so we can understand it better. Ameen.

No Summer School, Ummi!

(one of many methods of memorizing Surah Al-Aadiyat for S)

"I don't want to go to summer school," said S, frowning.

"You've been stuck with me the rest of the year. You NEED to go to summer school. I NEED you to go to summer school," I replied.

Summer is my only reprieve, my superficial vacation, my fake salvation, my tie to sanity.

"It's too babyish!" N protested.

I totally feel her. Last year we had sent them to the summer program at the masjid. S and N were way above kids their age in reciting, memorisation and writing Arabic. S qualified inclusion in a group of teenage girls, but she apparently refused to be with the big girls, according to her teacher. It wasn't until later on that I found that out, when she complained about being bored.

Understandably, S won 'best student' at the end of the program. This was last year.

The year before, there was a different program at the masjid. N was too young then, so S attended the program without her sister. The program was handled by a different set of people. Each student was given a book containing Juz 'Amma. S had to memorize one surah every day. Since she had already memorized the short surahs, they assigned her the longer ones.

I balked at her homework. How was she supposed to memorize Surah Al-Aadiyat in one day? I wrote a note to the teacher, asking for shorter portions for memorization because S ended up crying trying to do her 'homework'. For the record, I almost ended up crying too.

It was a tough yet rewarding summer program for S. It was challenging enough for her.

The year before, I enrolled S and N (who wasn't too young for that particular program) in a summer program run by the local Islamic school. For the whole six weeks, they memorized Surah As-Shams. Hubby scoffed at the comparison of that summer and the next (the tough one).

I wonder what program is going to be available this coming summer. Whatever it is, the point is to throw the kids into the midst of other kids their own age. I don't particularly approve the language and mannerism of the other kids, as I've had the opportunity of listening to them converse. However, I can't shelter the kids forever. With the nurturing at home, it will be a practice ground for them before they go into the world at full force. This year, I hope H will be old enough to enroll. Otherwise, I'll be stuck at home with his never ending chatter.

The World of Pop Ups

It was almost Eid Al Adha, in the year 2003. Frantically, I sought for a project to do to make the Eid more meaningful for the kids. Back home in Malaysia, one would feel the air bristling with the anticipation of Eid, but here in the United States, despite preparations for the upcoming Eid, I still felt obligated to make more of Eid for the kids' sake.

An idea 'popped up' (no pun intended) in my head. I have been browsing through the book 'Tell Me About Hajj' so much so that the image of the Arabian Peninsula lingered in my mind. Why not make a pop up map of the Arabian Peninsula? I thought to myself. I had never made a pop up of anything before, so this was obviously my first attempt.

I observed models of pop up books, and after a while, I began to believe I had mastered the art of creating pop ups. Using the poster board we had lying around unused, I began planning, sketching, drawing, assessing, experimenting, and came up with a pop up map of the Arabian Peninsula.

Being a perfectionist, I stubbornly hogged the coloring and outlining of the pop ups on the map, letting the kids work only on the zigurat and the pyramid. Suffice it to say, they left me to my own 'project' after a while. Sure, I was satisfied with the result, but I had failed to employ full involvement of the kids.

So I plunged into another pop up project: the visual aid for the retelling of Hajr and Ismail.


This time I let them do most of the coloring, though I couldn't resist commenting on the lack of 'blending' and evenness of the desert's color. After a while, they began to resent the arduous task of coloring my desert and pleaded to be let go. I coaxed them to continue and they finally finished it. Child labor? Hmm...


Then came show time. I had arranged for the kids to do a 'show and tell' to the Malaysian uncles and aunties during Eid. We are one of the two families in the Malaysian community here, so I had to make sure our Eid celebration was kid-geared. It was not easy. Alhamdulillah, the Malaysian girls were obliging.

I had always enjoyed our international Muslim community in Ames, Iowa and Athens, Georgia. Here, since we are one of the only families, the task of cooking fell upon us, so every Eid, we had to attend the Malay functions almost full time. That, however changed after some depression and stress on my part. I didn't feel it was right to attend the Malay functions to the exclusions of other Muslims. We have always attended the International functions and it just felt wrong to stick to our own kind. Furthermore, I had these invitations from my Muslim sisters which resulted in time conflicts, especially with regard to whipping up potluck pleasers. We feel the obligation to the Malaysians, but I also badly wanted to hang out with my other Muslim sisters. By and by, alhamdulillah, this conflict seems to have been resolved by making the Malaysians understand (I hope).

We still have these pop ups securely tucked between the computer desk and the wall. Every now and then, when learning seerah, I would pull the map out as a visual aid. As for the Safa Marwa pop up, we seldom use it anymore. Maybe it's time I test their memory of the story of Hajr and Ismail.

Lest you think I'm a selfish mom who insists on hogging the coloring, I have outgrown my perfectionism by learning to 'let go'. Now, the kids do their own pop ups. Every now and then I would peek at what they're doing, and fight the battle within myself to jump in and grab the crayons from their hands. It wasn't easy, and it still isn't, but as I reach my thirties, I hope I'll 'get over it'.

Blegh

"Ummi can we have this for breakfast?"

N came bounding to my room with a box of Coco Wheat in her hands. I was fighting the urge to go back to sleep. It was to my victory. So I went downstairs and cooked it on the stove.

"Go and take a shower while waiting for it to cool. You won't be able to eat it right away anyway," I told them as I spooned the cooked cereal into the bowls.

Instead of taking a walk in the woods, it makes more sense to go and take a shower while the 'porridge' cools.

They took quick showers and in a few minutes, H was back downstairs, ready to dig in.

We ate in silence.

"You can put some honey in it if you want," I said to H, who immediately did just that.

Then S came downstairs and I told her the same thing.

I ate mine, all the while thinking how bland it was, but I kept my mouth shut.

H proceeded to add more honey, but I said,

"Just stir it."

As is lately the case, he started to put forth his logic.

"But it'll be gone."

After some back and forth explanation and arguments over whether the sweetness will com through or not, I let him add a teeny bit more honey to his cereal.

I had to admit it aloud now.

"It tastes rather..."

I grappled for the word, which seemed to escape my morning brain. They looked at me.

"Bitter?" offered S.

"No." I shook my head. A frown formed on my face at trying to will the word to my mouth.

"Salty?"

"Blegh?" offered H in a non chalant manner, putting a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

I guffawed. S laughed.

"Remind me to write about it," I said.

That they did. All I heard this morning was, "Ummi, blegh."

Innovations

S has this expression on her face that just drives me mad. She's intelligent but she doesn't like to do more than she could. She reads like a teenager, but she doesn't like to discuss the reading. I don't sense any exuberance on her part.

She can write well, but she doesn't like to.

"I don't like to think a lot," she says, much to my exasperation.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't press her if she doesn't like it.

Animals. She likes animals. We call her our 'animal expert'. When you have a question about an animal, go and ask S.

History. We have a problem with history.

"I don't like it," she said once, a long time ago.

Then we went on a field trip with OHVA to a museum, and when we got back home she said,

"I like it a little bit now."

Ok, so maybe not enough hands on activities.

She loves arts and crafts. I love creating too. So why not dabble in it a little bit more? Time constraints is my biggest problem. As it is, I'm drained everyday teaching one kid at a time, one after the other.

I'm seriously thinking of ditching OHVA and doing it on my own. Sure, I have all those paperwork and research to do, but I guess I can start doing those now. Seems like we're going to be in Columbus for a little bit longer, now that we don't know when hubby's going to be done.

I stumbled across 'lapbooks' on Orlando Mama's blog. Delighted, I speed surfed through more websites that depict photos of actual lapbooks. Immediately, I applied it to our lessons.

Comically, I had went into the bathroom mulling over the problem of S's lack of exuberance. When I came out, I was all ready to employ the lapbook. Talk about 'conducive'.

I actually enjoyed myself watching them do the activities. Today, I woke up groggy and sleepy from lack of sleep. I told them that I was tired and might need a nap.

Then we started to work on Machu Picchu for S's history and we did the entries for the lapbook. I got so caught up in it that S said,

"I thought you were tired."

Me too. Nothing beats enjoying what you do I guess.

No wonder I went through my undergraduate years with a long face like S's. I guess now we know where she got it from, huh?

Linking

Assalamualaikum,

I have added new links. I hope those that I have added don't mind being added. I can understand if you don't want to be linked for I have one blog I do not want to be linked anywhere, for privacy reasons. So if you do mind, feel free to tell me so. I totally understand. :)

Four, Just Four?

Elsa tagged me with this, much to my shock. No, I didn't actually expect it, Elsa. *grin*
Here goes, I guess:

Four jobs I have in my life:
only FOUR???!! *wide grin*
1. Kindergarten teacher
2. First grade teacher
3. Third grade teacher
4. Islamic teacher

Four Movies I can watch over and over:
1. Sound of Music (much to my husband's annoyance)
2. Annie
3. Heidi
4. Secret Garden (don't remember exactly which one, with which actors, but I just love the story)

Four TV shows I love to watch: (this is not a good 'four' for me, I'd rather have 'Four Books I love to read')
1. ER (the only one I don't want to miss, the others I can let go)
2. Anne of Green Gables (it's so beautiful!)
3. Little House on the Prairie (no cable but acquired through library DVDs)
4. Little Women(when they had it that is)

Four places I've lived in:
1. Ames, Iowa
Among all the places I've lived in in the United States, this is still the one I love the most. The crime rate is low, the masjid people are nice, and the grocery shopping doesn't eat up a lot of gas. To get from one end of the town to the other, it takes about ten or more minutes. I love the size of the town, though it would be rather dull for most single students. I love ISU too. My Alma matter.

2. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
I've always lived in Kuala Lumpur. Even when we moved, we were still in Kuala Lumpur. I can't imagine living anywhere else but now, I can't think of the traffic jams and crowd without wincing.

3. Labu, Negeri Sembilan (boarding school)
I lived here five years. Surrounded by rubber and palm trees, it was some memorable five years. I consider myself somewhat on familiar terms with Seremban.

4. Athens, Georgia
We moved to Athens after living four years in Ames. It was a totally different place than Ames. I didn't like the place much but I LOVE the people. It's a small, tightly-knit Muslim community. I took my first Wilton Cake Decorating class there. I finished up here in Columbus. Started homeschooling here too under the guidance of sister Anisah. It was a very fortunate incident that I met here. It seemed as if we were destined to meet as I was mulling over Valentine activities my preschooler had to go through that day. Subhanallah, as we sat there in the library after picking up S from school, we met her and her children, five of them, homeschooled. Maybe Allah placed us in Athens just so I can learn about homeschooling.

Four places I've been on vacation to: (my favourites)
1. Oahu, Hawaii (honeymoon after 9 years of marriage, no kids)
Hubby was submitting an abstract for a conference in Honolulu. he told me that if I help him with the paper he might take me with him. Of course I jumped at the idea but reality check told me I couldn't possible go. Who would I leave the kids with? We couldn't possibly bring them either because the funding for the conference is less than $700, and summer is peak season for Hawaii. Somehow, someway a sister offered to babysit them for the length of time we were going to be in Hawaii. I left the kids with her with a heavy heart, not because I didn't trust her, but because I've never been apart from the kids since I gave birth to them. Suffice it to say, it was a wonderful 'honeymoon' albeit some problems getting hubby to pack on time. I almost didn't go out of stubbornness.

2. Ashville, Tennessee (first camping trip with the kids)
I'm not the camping type, but I went when invited by a friend for the kids' sake. Our camping site was nestled in a valley somewhere between Tennessee and North Carolina, in the Appalachian Mountain range. It was such a refreshing summer vacation for us, with waterfalls, bone-chilling mountain water in the streams we splashed in.

3. Cedar Points, Sandusky (first amusement park with the kids)
I entered the kids in the summer reading sweepstakes sponsored by a local TV station. We had to send in a card for every 5 books read. Of course, it goes without saying(if you know how much S reads) that we were bound to send in lots of those sweepstakes card on her behalf. She won third place, which was just the prize we were longing for: four tickets to Cedar Points! We paid only $10 for H because he wasn't tall enough. I'm so lucky I wasn't pregnant that year. We did a lot that summer.

4. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (first tag along on hubby's conference, along with kids)
Another one of hubby's conferences. We ALL tagged along this time because it was affordable since we were able to drive there. It was a long hazardous drive because it was winter. We blew one tire in Virginia while it was snowing, at night, with no cell phone. Alhamdulillah we got back home safe and sound biiznillah.

Four Places I'd rather Be in:
1. Jannah (ahhh...was just reading a description of Hell, black fire etc...nauzubillah)

2. Madeenah (they say we can still feel the hospitality of the Ansar and the aura of Sunnah)
I'd love to actually live here. Syeikh Yaser Birjas said especially in Ramadan, you feel the sunnah so deep around you. Everyone who goes to Hajj has expressed a longing to go back to Madinah. My mother said Madinah is nice and cleaner than Makkah. In the Quran Allah talks about the Ansar's hospitality, Subhanallah.

3. Makkah (the Holy Sanctuary, of course though maybe the people are less nice than in Madeenah?)
A true melting pot here I guess, with regards to the people. I can still remember Maqam Ibrahim during the umrah I tagged along on when I was ten. I can't forget how big the footprint was.

4. Oahu, Hawaii (it was a memorable honeymoon, what can I say?)
I didn't get to climb up Diamond Head, but witnessing a shahadah there was worth way more than looking at Honolulu from the top of Diamond Head. This deserves an entry of its own, but I ain't got time, yet.

Four of my Favorite food:
1. Malaysian food- Nasi lemak (Coconut rice with spicy gravy)
I love to have this for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

2. Indonesian food- Nasi Padang (can still remember those 'restaurants' in Sumatra)
I love the way they stack the plates of dishes to form a pyramid. On our frequent trips back to Sumatra, my father never fails to take us to Nasi Padang stalls.

3. Indonesian food- Bakso (meatball soup with noodles)
You go to Jakarta and this is what you MUST eat. Otherwise, you're missing out BIG time. I love it when they make the meatballs really big. An Indonesian friend gave me a recipe but I've never been able to mimic the likeness of those Bakso in Jakarta. In Malaysia, my father always takes us to Ajo's stall in Kampung Baru for his Bakso and Gado-gado.

4. Indonesian food- Gado-gado (salad drizzled with spicy peanut sauce)
I just LOVE this. My grandmother has instilled in me a love for vegetables when i was growing up. She always told me that if I eat my greens I would look youthful for a long time. I don't know if it was vanity or if I was just being nagged at constantly, but I ate my greens, even the ones I didn't like like tapioca leaves and pucuk paku. But, the way they were prepared made them somewhat edible to me. Now, I can't eat if there're no greens on my plate. I wonder if I can do the same to my kids?

If asked to list more, I'd list Malaysian and Indonesian food still. I have a stubborn Malay tongue.

Four Websites I visit daily:
1. Columbus Dawah Forum
2. AlMaghrib Forum
3. Hotmail
4. Yahoogroups


Four Victims to Do this tag:
1. Anggerik Merah
2. Nisa (if you drop by Nisa, you're IT! *grin*)
3. Kamalia
4. Eiseai

Dam Display

By N

DAM
The Arch dam is my favorite dam because it’s big. It’s good because it won’t flood. They get to control the water. It can make a lake. The good thing is, they get to swim. They can get to design their own dams. They get to skate if it’s winter.
It will flood on the other side. Making the dam is dangerous because it might be so hot and the water might already spray out. If somebody lives on the other side they might get flooded. The water might get so high that it will go over it and splatter.

This is Shakamaka town.
By H (dictated)




This is Shack-a-Macka Town.
By S

Prescription For Getting Along

"If they don't quarrel or fight, you need to get them a prescription," was the answer I received.

I had asked a sister if her children get along with each other now that they're older.

I grew up practically an only child. My half brothers were too young for me to fight with, though at times I think I actually stoked the fire because I needed the fight. So when it comes to my own children, I'm always at a loss of how to handle their bickerings with each other.

First of all, it just drives me crazy when they quarrel, especially when H repeatedly stomps all the way up the stairs and down. To make it worse, his tongue couldn't stop wagging. As he stomps, he lets out a string of complaints at which ever sister he is fuming at.

N seldom gets angry, but when she does, everybody should watch out! She stomps up the stairs too. As for S, she doesn't really do anything physical, well, not generally, but she mutters her dissatisfaction which at times, unfortunately do not escape my sharp ears. It's a wonder the stairs are still intact with all the rigorous stomping. You would think elephants live in our house the way the stairs get a beating every time someone gets all furious.

It was with great amusement and interest that I read an article in the February 2006 issue of Family Fun Magazine at the doctor's office while waiting for the nurse to call me for my ultrasound.

'Sibling Revelry!' is the title of the article and it lists 10 'family-tested' ways to help siblings get along. It was written by Leslie Garisto Pfaff and iluustrated by Lisa Perrett.
Below are my understanding of the article, paraphrased and reworded.

1. Have kids depend on each other.
This one insyaallah I already have in the works with my kids. Ever since they were young, they have been depending on each other. I think it probably fosters a lot of love between them as can be seen when they're asleep. S and N have never slept apart all this time and even now, they still sleep like they do when they were both toddlers, arms around each other to the point of sweating as if they were in 90F heat.

When H fell off his bike on the tar parking lot, I happened to be looking out the window from their room. To my ultimate surprise, I saw S jump off her bike to aid her little brother. She has always been sisterly towards N and H. When N was sick and throwing up, she would make her a card, sit beside her, stroke her forehead and even steady the bowl I had set up by N's side in case she started throwing up in her sleep.

Whenever H or N needed help, I always sent them off to S, so they already are relying on each other, Alhamdulillah.


2. Good names.
When they start calling each other names, we should step in and have them think of five good names or qualities for each other. I've read this somewhere else before and actually tried it with the kids, but just received more smart mouths. However, I'm not giving up yet. Maybe my angle was wrong. I need to try again.

So far, the names I've been hearing them call each other are 'original'. Alhamdulillah they don't cuss or curse. Makes me shiver with fright at the prospect of them learning all the cuss words at school.

3. Nice.
Posing the question, "What did you do that was nice today?" would make the kids think of the nice things they did. It would probably even make them consciously put an effort to do nice things in the future. I haven't tried this yet, but I think I will.

4. The calendar
This idea of listing down kind acts in their calendar is one that I have tried before but always fail to follow devoutly. With all the hustle and bustle, we didn't even have the time to look up the calendar to find out what nice things we should be doing today. Either I'm so disorganized or common sense rules. Sigh.

5. Baking together
Bakingis my forte, and throughout the years I have included the kids in my baking activities, though maybe not as much as I should. They now know that they shouldn't fight when baking because I would then immediately chuck them out of the kitchen. That's how much they want to bake. So I guess this works in getting them to learn to take turns.

6. Special Plate
Give a child a special plate to eat from every time s/he does something good for her/his sibling. I've never done this before, but since we all eat off of one big plate, I don't know how to incorporate this. Maybe I can do this for their snacks or special meals, though when I do a quick reality check, this just raises up a red flag for me. Just more things to do.

7. Writing
Have each child write something good about her/his sibling. I haven't tried this either but maybe it's time I do.

8. Pseudo Camping
Let them decide TOGETHER what they want to do together. For example they can decide what movie to watch together. They're already doing this, of course with some disagreements but in the end, they do end up doing something together.

9. The Jar
Putting a quarter in a jar when we catch them getting along. I've done this with marbles but I found out I couldn't really keep up with all their 'good behavior'.
We'll see.

10. Write it down
Instead of verbalising their disagreements and dissatisfaction with each other, it's encouraged that they write it down. This way it will make them think and in the process, cool them down. There's something very compelling in this one. S already uses it. However, I think I would have a problem with H, at least right now.

People always say to me, "Your children are so well behaved," or "Your kids are so obedient," which always manages to send me into silent shock every time. The first time I received those was from my neighbor whom the kids always talk to. She has offered the kids snacks like cookies many times, but the kids always manage to politely refure and insist that they need to have me check the ingredients. As for the well behaved part, I'm not so sure, but I guess at times you need outsider insight to make you appreciate what you have.

Dam Day

Even though I need routines in my life, there are times when I just abhor it. Today is such a day. So I deviated, and instead of the normal "Ok kids, get your books on the table, open your math books!" I said, "Kids! Today we're going to watch this thing about dams."

A resounding "Yay!" reverberated throughout the house. Anything out of the ordinary I guess. I remember how much I used to savor 'extraordinary' school days. Anything to get out of the dull repetitive expected routine of sitting in class. From the innocent primary years up to the hormone-ravaging secondary years. The yearning for something to happen lingered on. So I totally understand how they feel.

In fact, home schooling shouldn't be constricting. But it shouldn't be too 'hippie' either. There should be both drill and play. With OHVA, I personally tend to get 'drilly' because there is so much pressure to finish the syllabus on time. Instead of enjoying the lessons, I grew to dread the lessons especially 1st and 2nd grade language arts, where I have to keep on referring to the OLS(Online School) to make sure I cover everything in that particular lesson. As I became more attuned to the way OHVA works, I started to simplify the process and read the required reading and do the Grammar part on my own time. The only problem that persists is when I need to mark 'done' on each lesson. It starts to get confusing, but in order to keep my sanity, I ignore the technical details and just make sure the objectives are reached.

I declare today to be 'Dam Day'. I wasn't sure how long the kids would be able to watch the documentary, because I have seen them fidgeting and snickering before. They grew up on documentaries, mostly on animals. I simply refused to drown them in Nickelodeon or even PBS cartoons just because I think it beneficial that they be more attuned to non fiction documentaries. I don't know if that practice has an impact at all, because I don't see my kids as being particularly partial to documentaries. However, I do think they are able to glean at least a little bit of information from the documentaries.

As we watched, I interjected every now and then, just to make sure their interest stays above the 'danger' level. Only H seemed to lose interest. I think he might have a little bit of hubby's slight ADD. He is terribly more vocal nowadays. My poor ears.

I didn't have any specific plans for this lesson. I just thought I would go along with whatever comes up. Alhamdulillah, we ended up doing something the kids seemed to love. After the show, I went on the website to see what I could do with the kids.

There were lots. We had fun at the Shapes Lab. From there, we explored the other labs and I had the kids each propose a solution to the weak structures we encountered. Their little engineering minds got to work. H glowed with delight. S poured forth her effort and actually came up with some pretty good solutions. N seemed to falter. Her strength might not be in engineering.

The Dam Challenge was fun too. Most of their proposed solution were right on target, except for the salmon one. Even I was stumped.

"Ok, now what we're going to do is, make up our own little town."

"Let's pick a name," I said.

"Shack-a Macka!" H shouted.

So Shack-a-Macka Town it is.

"It has a river flowing through it, let's name the river," I said, while drawing the town on our white board.

"N, you name it. Each of you will get to name a thing," I continued.

She paused and said,

"Little Atta."

"Ok, how do you spell 'Atta'?"

"A T T A," she said.

So Little Atta River it is.

"Now the river keeps flooding, so we need a solution. Give me a solution," I said.

"Make a channel to direct the river somewhere else and move the houses," said S.

A pretty good solution, but I was looking for the DAM. So I prompted them again.

"Oh! Oh! I know! DAM! DAM!" yelled H.

A dam appeared in our little town.

"S, you name the dam," I said.

S was never good with naming anything, so she delegated the job to N & H. H came up with 'The Dam of Looseness' to which we all laughed, and N came up with 'The Notah Dam'. S chose N's. So the Notah Dam it is.

Next assignment : "Choose one of the four types of dams we learned about, and design it for our Shack-a-Macka Town. Then write why you chose that dam. Then write about how dams are good and how they are bad."

Off they went to the computers painting away.

I learned something today along with them : the 4 types of dams.

Arch Dam, Embankment Dam, Buttress Dam and Gravity Dam. Arch and Embankment are my favorites.

This is why I love homeschooling. What a dam good day!

Tissue

"Make dua for me okay. I'm gonna see the doctor tomorrow to see if there's anything left in my tummy. Make dua that everything is clear so they don't have to suck it out."

That was last night.

Today:

"So ummi, did they really suck out your bum?"

I laughed.

"No."

"So what'd they do?"

"There's still some tissue in it."

"You ate TISSUE?!!!"

I was crying because I had thought hubby wouldn't be here with me for the next ultrasound visit on Monday, and this was what cheered me up.

I ate tissue indeed. I didn't even explain to him. Will have to get one of those diagrams to explain to them what actually happened with this pregnancy. I ate tissue. H oh H. I'll really miss you when you grow up.

I Don't Know What It's Called

I was on the couch. Hubby was on the floor. Suddenly we heard a very familiar howl outside, on the back porch. At first we ignored it, but it grew louder and louder. Thinking that he might be hurt, I urged hubby to go and check it out.

H was howling, screaming, bawling in the loudest manner possible facing A & M, two of his older friends he was apparently playing with before he turned into a howling monkey.

It was evident after a while that he was horribly furious(and that is an uderstatement) at those two boys, who were mounted on their bikes at a safe distance, looking on at the scene unfolding before them. With his brown kufi on his head, and angry tears running down his face, H seemed very much out of control. I've seen him furious at his sisters but he was never that furious. This was a new level altogether.

Hubby took hold of his hand and tried to pull him inside the house. He resisted.

"It's ok. You're good. You didn't hit nobody," he said to H. He kept on howling and simply refused to be brought inside.

I gestured for him to come in. In that 'mother-child' universal language, I told him to come inside and tell me what happened. He relented somewhat but ended up on the kitched floor still bawling and howling. I left him, sat on the couch and signalled for him to come to me again. He came.

"What happened?"

With great difficulty amidst his loud uncontrollable sobs, he told me.

'A' had called him a 'crybaby'. They were playing basketball and H was counting. 'A' said he counted wrong. H persisted that he counted right and that A had counted wrong. Now this is funny because 'A' is 10 years old and H is only 6, yet I know how stubborn my son can be insisting that he's right and other people are wrong.

I asked him what happened step by step and he told me, soon losing his sobs.

"What did you do when A said you counted wrong? Did you shout like you did in front of Auntie M's house?"

He nodded.

"Then what did you do?"

He paused. Then he said,

"I don't know what it's called!"

And resorted to crying again. I couldn't help giggling. That stoked up his anger even more.

I know what it's called, by the way. It's called 'kindergartener tantrum'.

After an extensive investigation, I learned that he had got on his bicycle and rode home in anger after bawling. Hid in the bush to hide from the two boys who were coming after him. They had come after him only to witness his outburst which must have seemed so 'out of this world'. 'A' had apparently called M to watch this little crybaby yell his brains out. That made H even madder. So when he got home, on our back porch, not being able to shoo the two boys away, he did the only thing he knew to do: bawl and scream. It was almost a blood curling continuous scream.

Later on he told me, "I felt like my brains were almost bursting, that my head was shaking and my ketai* almost fell off my head."

* ketai comes from the word ketayap which is a Malay word for kufi. The kids practically invented that word and we have used it ever since.

For a disturbing while I wondered if it was at all healthy for him to submit to such screaming in anger. However, hubby's words "You didn't hurt nobody," struck me.

I repeatedly asked H, "Did you say any bad words to them? Did you hit them?"

He shook his head to both. I can only pray he's telling the truth. I believe him though.

Alhamdulillah he's only screaming his brains out, and not actually giving anyone a bloody nose or letting out a string or unmentionables. Alhamdulillah.

However, he's only 6. There're more years to go. I really need to protect them from picking up those bad behaviors, especially the unmentionables.

He spent the rest of the afternoon asking us what animals we can find in Malaysia. After each answer, he would dash upstairs only to come down again and ask for another one. Meanwhile, his two sisters, curiosity piqued by what just happened, went outside to play.

I still am nervous about raising boys. Don't know a thing about it. That's my stupid reason for not agreeing to the circumcision right after he was born: I was afraid to take care of his 'birdie'. He finally was circumcised at five years old. Alhamdulillah.

Boys. I have only one. At least a living one. I hope I'll raise him right insyaallah.