How it all started: Part 2

I don't remember exactly when I made an intention to homeschool my children, but a friend kept reminding me that when we were all in Iowa, I had made clear that intention in conversations. What I do remember is observing the effects public school had on other people's children back then, and I also remember thinking I didn't want to subject my children to those effects when the time came.

Maybe I had mentioned that I wanted to homeschool once my children were of school-going age, and maybe I had subconsciously made the decision, albeit not knowing much about homeschooling at the time. However, I took advantage of a program called Parents As Teachers, where every month, a parent educator would visit us in the home, assess the children's development, and supply me with brochures containing information on parenting and child development. So I suppose in a way, our homeschooling began as something that was just intended to make sure they're on track in terms of their developmental milestones. The reading, surah memorization, and reading Quranic Arabic that I did probably came about as part of my own curiosity to see how the human brain reacts to early stimulation, though I didn't think of it that way then.

Maybe it's also due to my own love of learning. I love learning, when I'm not told to. I remember thinking to myself once I graduated,

"Yes! Now I can read whatever I want!"

So maybe I wanted to transfer that natural curiosity and love to my children.

When we moved to Georgia, S turned 4 and it was time to send her to preschool. We did. Every morning, we would walk with her to the bus stop and watch her board the school bus. Like any other mother, I felt somewhat sad watching my child go to school. Gone were the times where we all could just lounge at home with no worries of going anywhere at a specific time.

Every morning I had to prepare her lunch, as I didn't want her to eat the cafeteria food. As I was used to being very particular about their food, I found it to be very troublesome. I didn't want them eating processed food, or getting used to the American diet of fast food, so I packed our homemade lunch for her, but the problem was that she didn't have a place to store it until lunch time, except in her bag. That meant that the food would be sitting at room temperature or warmer for hours. I was a stickler for food safety, as I also had the opportunity to receive monthly visits from a extension person from my alma matter. Every month she would come and she would provide me with information regarding nutrition, and financial budgeting. However, I managed to have S's teacher heat up the food at lunch time.

After some time, she would come home with unfinished food. I asked her why she didn't finish her Laksa Penang, because she loved it before.

"My friend said that looks nasty," she replied.

I began to panic inwardly, as I felt that I was losing her. I had noticed that Malaysian kids who go to public school in America began to prefer American food, and I didn't want that for my children. I didn't want my kids favoring pizza over rice and meat and chicken dishes, and refusing to eat Malaysian food.

The hassle of packing her lunch, (since I wanted it to be homemade and not processed) was also taking a toll on me, because we had to make sure she was bathed, dressed right after fajr, which left me very little time to cook lunch and dinner for that day.

Then, there was the matter of activities in school that were usually laced with holidays and monthly celebrations like Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's, Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween etc. They would also have birthday parties, which posed such a great dilemma for me. I told the teacher that we didn't celebrate birthdays and that could they place S in another room or something if a birthday party was going on. Even when they did anything with music, I told the teacher to exclude S. It was not easy, as after a while, I felt sorry for S, as those events occur very often. It was preschool!

She went to preschool from September to April. As the school year progressed, I felt more uneasy, but I was clueless to the hows of homeschooling. S also told me one day that a boy was trying to kiss the girl she sat next to in the school bus. We were horrified. These kids were only 4!

There were times when I would pick her up from school, and times where the bus would drop her off. In February, of course the theme was Valentine's Day, and my struggle that month was trying to evade that, and told the teacher to exclude S from any Valentine gifts exchange. On the day that they did have a Valentine's Day party, I picked S up from school. In her hand was a box containing Valentine wishes from her classmate.

I sighed, and we drove to the library, which was nearby. The kids dashed to the play area, and I went to the computer station. I'm sure Allah had planned it all, and in His Wisdom, we stumbled across a Muslim family in the library. I noticed a boy clad in thawb and donning a kufi, and as I scanned the children's area, I saw the rest of the family, girls wearing hijab and dresses, and their mom in full abaya and hijab. We talked, introduced each other, and somehow, the heaviest worry on my mind tumbled out as we talked about school.

It turned out that she homeschools her five kids, and before long, she referred me to the rules and regulations for homeschooling in the state of Georgia. Allah had given me a way out. He knows what was in my heart, and He gave me the answer and solution to our predicament. Allahu Akbar!

I then researched the regulations, made the decision, and told S's teacher that I was going to take her out of school before the school year ended. I remember, on the day that I took S out, her teacher said to me,

"When I have kids, I want to homeschool too."

"Oh, why?" I asked her, surprised.

"Oh, there's just so many bad things happening in schools nowadays. Last week a janitor was found *kidnapping a girl. The school's just not safe anymore."

She went on to tell me of her plans of also opening up her home to homeschool other homeschoolers' children. I drove back home, with the realization that many people are homeschooling their children, for a variety of reasons ranging from religion to safety. Subhanallah!

But that was the start of our formal homeschooling, and hence began the arduous journey in this unknown and foreign terrain which we have to trek through everyday. But that's a whole different story altogether!

* could also be molesting. I can't really recall.