S: Descriptive Writing

From Test Ready Language Arts Book 5 page 6:

Think about what your daily life is like. What activities do you do? What is a typical day like for you? Now think about what life would be like if you were born one hundred years ago. On a separate piece of paper, describe what a typical day might be like for a person your age one hundred years ago. Use words that will help readers create vivid pictures of your descriptions in their mind.

My Life One-Hundred Years Ago

I woke up and looked around my teepee for a bow and arrow. I spyed it hiding under a pile of stones. I grabbed it and ran out. My mom handed me some breakfast, which was a little bit of cooked rabbit meat. The meat was gobbled down in no time. I went off to find some rabbits and squirrels to hunt. On the way, I picked some berries to eat. Then I spotted a squirrel. I quickly shot my arrow. After I picked up the squirrel and stuffed it in my bag, I wandered home. Suddenly I heard a mammoth trumpet. All the men in the village were hunting a mammoth. I raced home. At home I played in the field with my friends, and picked flowers. In the evening, I sat near the fire, and made a wreath with the flowers. Then I gave it to one of my friends. The men came home dragging a big mammoth behind them. The other girls and women sat by the fire and started to eat the mammoth meat. After I ate my squirrel, I went to my teepee and crawled under my mammoth skin blanket. Soon I was sleeping...

"I like the other one better," S said, referring to the two pieces of writing she did in the Test Ready book.

I had told her I would put up her writing in my blog because she didn't want to put it up in hers. Alhamdulillah for technology, for we are able to keep soft copies of their school projects, writing, rather than hoard the hard copies. Hubby bought me a digital camera when I told him we couldn't keep all the school projects they did, but that taking pictures of them and keeping those instead would be the wise thing to do. Though of course, we're not able to 'soft copy' everything, unless we scan them. Maybe that should be the next item on my to do list, before we have to move out.

Her writing above, in my opinion, served the purpose of a descriptive writing, though she could have replaced some 'went's with stronger verbs. I really love the technique of teaching them to replace some verbs with stronger verbs to make their writing more vivid. I never learned that in school.

Years ago, I would have balked at the thought of grading or assessing their writing, because I don't have the confidence to do so. I wasn't raised or educated here, and the school system is very different back home. After taking the Writing for Children's magazine course with the Institute of Children's Literature (which had stemmed from the curiosity of seeing whether I have it in me to write at all), I am better able to spot the techniques of writing, and more importantly, teach it to my children. Truly, homeschooling is a learning process for both children and parents, subhanallah.


As I read her piece above, I did some mental calculations, and it struck me that 100 years ago for me is very different than 100 years ago for S, well, if I was her age right now, that is. Mammoths might not be around anymore in her 100 years ago, nor in mine, but I'll let it go, because if I was her age, I wouldn't be able to accurately pinpoint where 100 years ago is on the timeline.